Compromised (5 page)

“Easy, Gus. I’m just trying to satisfy my curiosity. You think I can just sit back and forget what happened? You goddamn well know that I’m not built that way.” I heard Max crying in his bedroom. “Shit!”

“Looks like you’ve got a choice to make,” he said angrily. “Do you want to be a mother or a corpse?”

“That’s crazy talk, Gus. Do you really think a little computer time is going to kill me? I was strong enough to fire a weapon at the range, wasn’t I?”

“Weapon?” he groused. “That was a peashooter.”

We were both getting worked up.

“The doc gave you permission to go to the range, and you damn well know it’s not the same thing,” he said. “It’s rapid eye movements he’s concerned about—rapid eye movements and spikes in blood pressure.”

“Did you read the warnings that came with my Dilantin scrip? The medication I’m taking is probably riskier than a little computer time. Don’t go all worrywart on me, okay?”

“I’m trying, but we can’t take any chances. Can you imagine having a seizure while you’re alone with Max? Do you have any idea what could happen?”

The thought froze me through and through. The idea of me hurting my son took all the wind out of my sails. I closed my eyes, shut the laptop, and reached for Gus’s hand. “You’re right. Max is crying,” I said as I led him to the little one’s room. “Let’s go do something important.”

“Where are you going?” Gus asked.

I was already showered and dressed when he awoke. He’d caught me as I was buttoning my jacket. “Think I can go for a walk on my own? It seems I slept through most of the winter—I’m beginning to feel like a hibernating bear. It’s pretty mild and sunny outside. I thought I’d get some fresh air. Max is playing with Ma. I fed and changed him.”

“Give me five minutes, and I’ll go with you,” he offered enthusiastically. “We can walk over to the bakery and pick up some fresh bread.”

“Listen, you carb hound, I’ve already eaten.”

“I’ll keep you company.”

Only a couple of days had passed since he’d admonished me for logging into the NYPD intranet. I really didn’t want to revisit our argument so I went on the offensive to nip it in the bud. “Gus. It’s
enough
. There’s only been the one seizure incident in the hospital. I took my medicine as soon as I got up, and I’m fine. Hear me? I’m fine. I’m thirty years old. If I can’t take a walk down the block by myself, then . . . I don’t want to get into this again, but I can’t take being smothered. ‘Don’t do this. You’ll get all worked up. Don’t do that; you might have another seizure. You’re still healing. You’re still fragile. Your head will explode.’” I rapped on my head with my knuckles. “All better. I’m as good as new, Gus, and I’m ready to spread my wings. Ma and I can handle Max, and it’s time you went back to work.” He’d been on spousal leave to take care of me, but I felt that I was well enough to take care of myself. “Stop using your wife as an excuse to lie around and watch basketball all day, you slacker,” I said in a more playful tone. “Go back to work.”

“Hey! What’s all the noise about?” Ma asked, firing both barrels. She was sporting her customary wiseass grin. “Are the two of you are going to let one measly little hole in the head ruin your beautiful relationship?
Morons
,” she barked. “Wake up and smell the coffee.”

Ma was right, of course. Still, I foresaw a huge period of adjustment ahead of us. “All of this pampering is driving me nuts. I can’t stand it—the two of you are watching me like hawks, worrying that I might go to pieces at any minute. I haven’t had a seizure since I was in the hospital. Let’s assume that the worst is behind us.”

“That’s what I keep telling you,” Gus said.

“But you don’t treat me as if you mean it. I’m not fragile. I’m not going to break.”

“I’ll testify to that,” Ma added, raising her hand as if she were being sworn in to offer testimony. “I always said that my daughter had a hard head. And now we know that your noodle is practically bulletproof.”

“Ha, ha, ha,” I cackled sarcastically. “So can we all agree to end the doting-loved-ones vigil?”

Ma nodded.

I could see that Gus was wrestling with my request. “I suppose, but you still have to follow the doctor’s orders. For the time being, you have to stop thinking like a cop. Play with Max and do whatever you have to do to get completely better, but the case has got to be completely off-limits.” He gave me a steely-eyed stare. “Is that understood?”

There was merit in everything my loving husband said, but did he really expect me to stop thinking like a cop?
Ain’t gonna happen.
He might as well have asked me not to breathe. The love of law enforcement had been instilled in me by my father and had dictated the way I lived my life ever since joining the force. I knew I’d never be able to go along with what Gus was asking me to do. There are good lies, and there are hurtful ones. Some lies can be forgiven and others not. For the sake of our marriage, I nodded and said, “Okay,” but my hand was behind my back and my fingers were crossed.

I heard the sound of someone hustling down the street and turned to see Gus trotting toward us.
Ma and I had gone out for a walk with Max in the stroller. Gus caught up with us and gave me a pat on the fanny. “There you are.” He kissed me before sticking his head into the stroller and making Max squeal hysterically. “Nice day for some fresh air.”

“You bet! Ma loves pushing the stroller because she can fit a gallon of jug wine in the storage compartment.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Bah. Stop it. You make it sound like I’m an old souse.”

“Well, if the stroller fits . . .” I snickered.

Ma made a face that said I was a pain in the ass, and, of course, I was, but the truth be told, we were just a few doors down from the neighborhood liquor store and, well . . . the woman really does love her Chianti. I pulled a twenty from the pocket of my jeans and ran it under my nose. “Smells like a jug of Carlo Rossi to me.”

She snatched the twenty out of my hand. “Okay, wiseass.
I
was going to pay for the wine, but just for that, the vino is on you. I might even throw care to the wind and buy the Mondavi.”

“Knock yourself out, Ma. You’re not going to put me in the poorhouse buying wine by the box.”

Gus lifted Max out of the stroller and hoisted him high up on his shoulder. Our little one smiled as he looked around from higher elevation, taking in the pedestrians and engaging some of the passersby in a game of peekaboo as we continued down the street.

Gus returned to work the very next Monday morning. He had somewhat capitulated to my demands and was once again taking normal tours of duty. That’s not to say he wasn’t a nudge altogether, but at least he was out of the apartment most of the day. “You’re home early today,” I said.

“Just came from an interview not too far away. I figured I’d stop home and have lunch with everyone.”

“Cool. Pizza it is. I’m dying for a Sicilian slice.”

“Not so fast,” Ma warned and slinked toward the liquor store with a silly grin on her face.

“Well, it’s a nice surprise.” I reached up to give him a kiss but he pulled away. “Hey. What the?”

“You’ve been cheating on me,” he said in an unhappy tone.

The doctor hadn’t yet cleared me for sex, worrying that the spike in blood pressure could still do some harm to my gray matter. Had he known how worked up I get during the act, he would’ve insisted on a heavy-duty chastity belt. “Cheating on you? With whom? It’s been over a month since my coochie has seen any action. I’m thinking about taking a vow of chastity.”

“I stopped home and checked your laptop. You were back on the department website.”

Crap.
I’d forgotten to clear the browsing history. “Guilty as charged. Let’s not make a thing out of this, okay? I was just checking for updates.”

“I thought we had an agreement.”

“Every deal has a little wiggle room.”

“Come on, Stephanie. Don’t bullshit me.”

I was doing my best to comply with the terms of my house arrest, but it had gotten to be too much, and for some ill-timed reason, I chose that moment to let him know in no uncertain terms. “Gus,
leave it alone
.”

“Fine,”
he replied heatedly. He looked around, quickly scanning the street. “I’ll have lunch with Max at the deli. I’ll drop him off before I head back over to the station.”

“That’s just great,” I snapped. “Okay, be like that.”

“Like what?” he scoffed. “A concerned husband?”

“Gus, I’m
okay
. I’m a ten percenter. I took a bullet to the head and survived. You don’t have to watch over me like a hawk. God’s not ready to take me. I think that should be abundantly clear by now.”

Gus was a pretty mellow guy until he was pushed too far, and I had just pushed him past his breaking point. He could’ve come back at me with any number of retaliatory comments, but he didn’t. He’d had enough. “Enjoy the pizza,” he said and, with Max still on his shoulders, turned and walked away.

“Where’s Gus going?”
Ma had returned from wine shopping and had a large jug cradled in her arms, cleverly camouflaged in a brown paper bag.

“He wasn’t in the mood for pizza.”

“Or was it you that he wasn’t in the mood for?” Ma asked in a sharp tone. “Did he catch you doing police work again? I thought I spotted you on the department website.”

I shrugged.

“Do you want to screw up your marriage? In case you haven’t heard, single parenting isn’t exactly a walk in the park.”

I sighed. “Jesus, Ma. You too? Someone used my head for target practice and murdered my partner. Am I supposed to let that slide?”

“NYPD can’t track down the shooter while you heal up? God knows, Stephanie, they’re not all bumbling incompetents. Don’t you think they’re capable of apprehending one solitary criminal without your assistance?”

“It’s been well over a month already,” I said as I took the wine from her and stowed it in Max’s stroller. “The case is growing cold.”

“You don’t know that. You’re out of touch. For all you know, they’re following up on several valuable leads right now.”

“Thank you.
All I’ve been doing is logging on to stay current on developments. Is that such a big goddamn deal? Who knows how much longer I’ll have system access. My CO could call at any minute and tell me I’ve been declared permanently disabled.”

Ma met my gaze. “Would that be so bad?”

My mouth gaped in horror. “
What?
Tell me you’re kidding.”

“You almost lost your life, Stephanie. Isn’t that enough? Maybe the good Lord is telling you that it’s time to cash in your chips.”

I threw up my hands. “I’m going to grab a slice,” I said with frustration and began pushing the stroller down the block. “Gus is across the street in the deli. You can eat with me or with him. I really don’t care.”

“Stephanie, don’t walk away from me like that. We’re all—”

“I know. I know. You’re all very concerned about me, but it’s your incessant worrying that’s killing me.” I rapped on the side of my head as I had before. “See that? I’m still hardheaded. The bullet didn’t hurt me one bit.”

“Can you say the same for your marriage?”

She stopped me dead in my tracks.
“What?”

“Can you say the same for your marriage?” she repeated. “That it hasn’t been hurt? Gus is only human. Do you hear me? He’s as good as gold, but even a good man can only take so much before he packs his bags and hits the road.”

Gus Lido believed in holistic healing and was about to self-medicate.

He and Stephanie had been fighting constantly, and the showdown that had taken place in front of the liquor store that afternoon had left him raw and unhappy. He sought the sanctuary of the gym at the end of his tour.

His new partner, Detective Silas Coltrane, was an ox of a man, six-four, two-forty with a neck as thick as a sewer main. Lido spotted him at the far end of the gym, where he was working his anvil-size hands on a heavy bag, pounding it lifeless.

Most men would’ve been intimidated by the spectacle, but Gus Lido was thankful the good Lord had provided him with a worthy opponent. He tapped his hulking partner on the shoulder. “Want to go a few rounds?”

Coltrane slammed the bag one last time. Had the training apparatus been human, its internal organs would’ve liquefied from the force of the blow. “Okay. Sure. Why not?”

“Got a mouthpiece?”

“Get real, you scrawny pissant.” He grinned, exposing his pearly white teeth. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks for every tooth you knock out of my mouth.”

Lido was smaller but not by much. He was six-two, two-twenty with catlike reflexes and speed. He smiled at his massive opponent. “Suit yourself, but don’t come crying to me if you need a mouthful of caps. Ya big baby—I know you’re afraid of the dentist.”

“Like you’re not.”

Lido shook his head. “Never heard of laughing gas, chucklehead?”

Coltrane pounded his boxing gloves together and gave Lido a cocky sneer. “Lido, you
do
have a death wish. No hard feelings if I mess up that pretty smile of yours?”

“Go for it.” Lido grinned and tugged on the training gloves. Both men pulled on their protective headgear and stepped into the ring.

Coltrane was an old-school boxer, like Jake LaMotta on steroids. If LaMotta was the Raging Bull, Coltrane was the Runaway Freight Train. He raised his fists and took his position in the center of the ring, unyielding and menacing.

By contrast, Lido liked to move and jab.

“Stand still,” Coltrane griped. “Take your beating like a—”

Lido fired off two quick jabs, rattling the behemoth before he could finish his sentence.

“Now you made me mad.”

Coltrane lowered his head and advanced, coming for his prey, determined to demonstrate his prowess in the ring. He took a wild swing, which Lido easily sidestepped before slipping a jab into Coltrane’s ribs. It was a solid hit, but the big gloves absorbed most of the blow. Coltrane cleared his nostrils and closed in. His technique was crude, a series of hard punches that Lido was able to block and counter.