Concealed - A Hiding From Love Novel #2 (18 page)

Now I have him back, and it’s terrifying. I can’t stand the idea of my parents disapproving of me, thinking I’m abandoning who I am. I also can’t bear the idea of living without Gabe again. And then there’s Marc. It’s so easy to be with Marc. He knows exactly what’s expected of me. With him I know what my life will be. He’ll go to law school, I’ll get a job as a social worker, and we’ll move back to Floresville and have kids. His mother and my mother will take care of them while we’re at work. There will be decades of family, church, and community.

It’s easy, but if I’m honest, is it what I want? Since Afghanistan, I haven’t allowed myself to think about what I really want out of life. I put all my ideas about traveling and doing aid work behind me. I swallowed the picture Marco and my parents painted hook, line, and sinker. Beth saw what I was doing. I looked everywhere but at the lie I was living.

Now, the lie has finally reared its ugly head, and I’m forced to face it. There is no question how I feel about Gabe, but that doesn’t solve my concerns about my future and what role he might play in it.

A few days after Gabe and I attended the
Quinceañera,
I’m walking across campus between classes when I hear Marco calling my name.

“Hi,” I say, smiling as he jogs up to me, his dark hair flopping up and down over his forehead. No matter how many times I made him get it cut, it was always in his eyes.

“Hey,” he seems uncomfortable as he shoves his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “Can we talk for a few minutes?”

“Sure,” I answer as we head toward a lawn nearby and sit on the grass.

He shrugs out of his backpack, taking longer than really necessary to get settled. Finally, looking down at a piece of grass he’s playing with, he says, “I heard you were at that party with him last weekend.”

I swallow. I haven’t done anything wrong, but it still somehow feels like I’ve cheated.

“Yeah, I’d like to thank Annette for that broadcast.” I sound bitter.

He looks up at me then, his sunglasses masking the expression in his eyes. “So, are you
with
him now?”

It’s my turn to look away. I glance over at the nearby fountain area, watching as a fraternity guy tries to carry his girlfriend into the spray.

“We’re, um…” I take a deep breath.
Rip off that Band-Aid, Alexis
. “Yeah, we’re dating.”

“Okay. Well, he didn’t waste any time, did he?”

I watch his face, the bitterness showing plainly in the set of his lips. “Marco,” my voice is soft as I reach out and touch his hand. “You knew this was going to happen.”

He pulls his hand away from me, and I feel my heart tear a tiny bit. “Yeah, but knowing it in my head didn’t prepare me for the reality of what it feels like. It’s like someone is holding hot coals to my insides, Lex. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I’m a fucking wreck.”

I see his hands clench and unclench, and my heart aches. Everything in me feels so heavy and wrong. How can I possibly justify my choice to be with Gabe when it’s destroying such a wonderful guy in the process?

“I’m so sorry, Marc. I just…I can’t fight it, the way I feel about him. I never wanted to hurt you. I hate myself for this. You’re so great, and you know how much I care about you. That’s why I couldn’t keep lying to you. I couldn’t pretend there weren’t feelings between me and Gabe. I’d do anything to make this right with you, but I don’t know how to do that.”

“I know. I know. And I’m not mad at you, Lex. It just hurts really damn bad, and I keep hoping you’ll realize that this is all some sort of terrible mistake.”

I look at him, sympathy pouring out of me. “Marc…”

He takes a deep breath and gives himself a little shake like he’s tossing off a bad dream. “Stop. I know. It’s obvious you’re really serious about him. I mean, you’re willing to risk being estranged from your parents, so that pretty much says it all.”

“Estranged?” I swallow. That word. I’ve never spoken it before although deep down I know the concept. I also know in my heart of hearts things might eventually reach that point.

“Well, I mean, my mom said your dad was ready to cut you off as soon as he found out it was Gabe you’d been with, but your mom convinced him to wait until you went down there and talked to them. I guess your mom said she wanted to hear your side, but your dad said he wasn’t going to be paying for you to live in Austin and ruin your life.”

“Jesus. Well, thanks for that.” I stand up, brushing off my jeans and grabbing my backpack.

“Lex, wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to piss you off. I thought you knew. Honestly.”

I grind my teeth together. “Well, I didn’t know it was quite that bad. So I guess I should be grateful you warned me about what I’m walking into when I go down there.”

Marco looks genuinely chagrined. “They don’t mean it, Lex. They love you, you know that.”

“Yeah, they love me as long as I do what they say when they say it. I’m not sure if thinking for myself is part of that equation.”

“Hey,” he says gently, touching my hand with his for a moment. He lets his arm drop back to his side. “If there’s anything I can do to help. You know, talk to them or something?”

“Thanks, but they’re
my
parents, and it’s
my
problem. I can’t have you in the middle of that anymore, Marc. I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Take care, Lex.”

Good advice. It sounds like I might be taking care of myself completely alone in the very near future.

Gabe

El hilo siempre se rompe por lo más delgado.

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

N
OW
that Alexis and I are spending most of our time together, I’ve started taking the Harley to work exclusively. I don’t like her being without a car, so I leave the truck for her to use during the days when I’m at work.

I’ve just finished my lunch and I’m cleaning my bay in between two different jobs when I see my girl drive up in my truck. I watch her pull into a parking space. She’s kind of short and looks so fucking cute in the cab of that big old pickup. She hops down, punching the remote to lock it as soon as she’s out.

“Ooh, Romeo’s got a visitor,” Mike croons from his bay.

Ramon looks up and rolls his eyes. “Five minutes, man. You’ve got work to do and my clock’s tickin’.”

“Yeah, yeah, I gotcha,” I answer as I walk to the parking lot to meet Alexis.

I give her a quick kiss when I reach her. Then I take her arm and start steering her back toward the truck. “What’s going on, babe?”

She lays her head on my shoulder and I put my arm around her. “It’s just been sort of a crappy day,” she says.

“What happened?” I ask as we reach the truck. I put her back against the door as I rub my hands up and down her bare arms.

“My History prof stacked on a ton of work this next week, and I got a B on that Adolescent Psych test I thought I’d aced. Then I heard gossip about my parents disowning me and it was sort of the icing on the cake.”

“Wait. Back up. Your parents are disowning you? Where the hell did you hear that?”

She looks at me and I can see her skin flush as she glances away quickly.

“Alexis. Spill it. Now,” I command, my heartbeat accelerating.

“I ran into Marco on campus.”

I step back and pace up and down in front of her. “Oh that’s fucking fantastic. So the asshole felt the need to tell you he’d heard your parents were, what was it?
Disowning
you? I mean, what the hell does that even mean? I ought to go kick his damn ass once and for all. He needs to leave you the fuck alone, Alexis.”

She pulls on the ends of her hair that hang over one shoulder. “It wasn’t like that, really. All he said was he could tell I was serious about you if I was willing to risk my parents cutting me off.”

“Cutting you off?” My stomach roils. “You mean like not pay for your school anymore?”

“Pretty much, yeah. Marco’s mom told him my dad didn’t want to pay for anything if I was going to ruin my life. I guess my mom talked him down…for now.”

I stop walking, feeling like I’ve been sucker punched, making it hard to catch my breath. This is so much worse than she ever let on before. I thought we were looking at her parents not liking me, maybe being awkward when I was around or something. I had no idea it was a “lose him or lose us” deal. Fuck.

“You seem upset about this, but not necessarily surprised,” I say, watching her expressions carefully.

“It’s not the first time he’s threatened it,” she answers in a tiny voice.

“You mean when you came back from Afghanistan.” There is no question in my voice, only a statement of fact.

She nods.

Finally. All the pieces fall into place. Eighteen years old, all alone, faced not only with her parents’ disapproval but with the threat of them abandoning her, she’d cut me loose. And really, who could blame her? It makes me hate myself for not being there to protect and support her when her parents acted like such jerks.

I close the distance between us and trap her between me and the truck, placing both arms alongside her head as I lean in and kiss her softly on the lips.

“God, babe, I’m so sorry you had to face that all alone. I should have been there. I don’t blame you at all for the choices you made. You were only eighteen years old, you’d just spent a month in a warzone, and then your parents threatened you with
that
? You weren’t prepared for it. But you’re older now, and you’ve got me. You don’t need to worry. No matter what happens with your parents, I’m here, and we’ll figure it out. I’ve got a good job, and if we have to, we’ll get you some student loans and I’ll pay them off after you graduate.”

She sniffs and nods against my neck.

“Sweetheart?” I put my fingers underneath her chin so she’ll look me in the face. “This isn’t two years ago. We have each other and nothing’s going to change that. Okay?”

“Okay,” she whispers.

I kiss her until she melts into me and moans softly. Then I pull away. “I’ve got to go back to that job that’s going to take care of you from now on. You okay to drive?”

“Yeah,” she exhales, her eyes taking on that look they have when I get her really turned on.

“Hold that thought and I’ll see you in a few hours.” I lick her earlobe and step away.

“You’re evil, Gabe Thompson.”

I grin at her as she climbs back into my truck and drives away.

After she clears the parking lot, I stalk back to the garage, anger seeping into places inside me I didn’t even know existed. There is no way I’m going to stand by and let her parents do this to her. They haven’t met me yet, but they’re about to, and they’ll learn I’m not some pansy-ass college boy living off of his daddy’s money. If they won’t take care of their daughter, I will, and they’ll be the ones who miss out on the amazing woman she’s going to become.

It’s Friday night, and I’m covered in grease and sweat. I spent three out of the last four days working eleven or twelve hours a day. As soon as Alexis told me her parents might quit paying for stuff, I went straight to Ramon and asked about overtime. He said that if I could get jobs after hours he’d let me keep the garage open. I immediately started offering customers after-hours service and managed to get two weeks’ worth of jobs lined up immediately. It makes sense – people work during the day and it’s difficult to get to work without a car. After hours they can drop the car, have a friend or family member pick them up, go out to dinner, and come back to a car that’s ready to roll.

Ramon is stoked about the whole thing. The garage’s percent is more than the extra utilities to keep the place open at night, so it’s money he doesn’t even have to be there to earn. He says if it gets to a point where it’s cutting into our regular daily business he’ll make me stop, but in these first few weeks, it’s been all new appointments, so I’m hopeful for the future.

Alexis freaked when I told her what I was doing. She couldn’t believe I would work a sixty-hour week to make sure she could keep going to school.

“They haven’t done it yet. They probably won’t, Gabe. And even if they do, it’s not your responsibility. I can go get a job and some loans. It might mean it’ll take me a little longer to graduate, but that’s no big deal.”