Concealed Attractions (Cedar Island Tales) (27 page)

“No, no, I don’t want to make trouble for him
,
especially if he’s helping
Danni
.” She wrung her hands. “I just wish my husband could see that
not letting her
come home until—until—
not wanting her
to come home is not helping
.”

“
I’m sure he’ll
change his mind.”

She
shook
her head and left, dis
satisfied with how poorly she had expressed herself.
She
imagined what David might do if she went to see Danni and he found out about it. He’d been
so
furious
about
what he’d seen. She recalled how prone to violence David had been after his sister died
, and how carefully she’d learned to tre
a
d whenever he got in one of his moods. 

She ached to see her daughter, to take her in her arms and hold her, letting her know that whatever help she needed
,
Anna would provide. But was now the time to do that? Maybe if she let David calm down first. He rarely stayed angry for very long, though perhaps, this time, it might take him longer than usual.

She
headed home then changed her mind and
drove aimlessly
through town, fighting with herself about what to do and when to do it. Finally
,
she
stopped near the
water
where the fishing boats were docked
,
a place she visited every year
when the leaves turned
.
She ignored
the
November
rain that misted her
hair as
she walked to the end of the longest
dock and sat on a
nearby
storage chest.

Then turning her mind to what she always thought of this time of year, she whispered,
“Happy birthday, little
one
.
”
The
rain mixed with her tears before she returned to her car.

Two days later, Anna
reached for the phone t
o call
her daughter
, happy she was able to reach her, but when David entered the kitchen, she cut the call short
. 

“
You called her, didn’t you?”

“She’s my daughter, too.” She tried to keep her voice calm when she was quaking inside.

“
You’
re neve
r going to talk to her again!”
David
screamed. “She’s no good
. L
ying to us, sleeping with God knows who
,
and now she’s pregnant.
You heard me.
I told her when she gets rid of the kid, she can come home—not before.”

Anna
took
refuge at a friend’s home until her husband went back to Tacoma for his work at the port.
When she returned home, s
he
wrote a letter to
her daughter
.

Dear
Dannilynn
:

Your father is not himself. I’m doing my best to calm him down, but I don’t think you should come home for Thanksgiving. I
hope
you are safe where you are
. I’m so glad you’re seeing a doctor and Ben brought that dog to stay with you
. Maybe by Christmas break, things will be better
here
. I talked to Joel and I know Ben is your friend, not the father of
your
baby.
Call me anytime
.
Your dad
has left for Tacoma.

Love
, Mom

Danni
finished the papers
due
before
the
Thanksgiving
recess
.

Ben
had promised to
see her
on the weekend
if it
was quiet at the clinic.
She looked in the refrigerator. Not enough food
.
Time to go to the grocery store. She looked into the bedroom. Happy was quietly snoring, his upper lip
rhythmically
lif
t
ing
up and then falling back with each breath
.
I can’t hold grocery bags and his leash, too.
He’ll have to stay here.

S
he
shut the door behind her and
walk
ed
down
the hill
to the mini-mart. The
freshening fall breeze
felt good on her face. She picked out some food items and on a whim, a few
more things
, not realizing until they were in two bags how heavy her purchases were.

“Do you need some help?” the man behind the counter asked.

“No. If you’ll just hand them to me, I’ll be okay.
I’ll just stick
my purse in the smaller bag.”

He nodded, waited until she tucked her apartment key into her jacket pocket, and
then
handed her the larger of the two bags. She stopped halfway up the hill to catch her breath
before continuing
on
toward the apartment building.
At the last corner, a man came up behind her and placed his hand on her arm.

She looked
up
at him, momentarily startled.

“Looks like you
could use
some help. Here. Let me take that.” Before she could object, he lifted the larger, heavier bag from her arm.

“Oh!
Thanks.” She shook
the cramp out of
her
hand
. “I didn’t realize how heavy it was until I started walking.”

When she reached the outer door of her apartment building, she said, “I think I can take it from here.”
He set down the larger bag and waited for her to open her door. Happy was smiling at her when she entered.

“Thanks again,” she said to the man, who waved in her direction and left.

An hour later,
Ben
arrived. She gave him a quick welcoming hug

“Have you and your mom talked?”

“Finally. We kept missing each other. She’s thinks Dad will calm down. It’s just going to take some time
.
” Maybe after Thanksgiving, she could go home. She hoped so.

He leaned toward her again, deposited a little peck on her cheek, and said, “From one friend to another.”
When she didn’t pull away,
Ben
kissed the top of her head.
“Are you sure you’re
okay
with that, his needing more time
?”

She nodded.
“
I need some time, too. I mean, I’ve talked to Mom on the phone,
and
she told me she’s in my corner. I was wrong not to tell her before I left for school. If I could do it over, I would have.”

“What about your dad?” He gave her a little squeeze then began rubbing her back.

“I’m not sure about that. Maybe if I’d told him before it was so obvious, but somehow, I don’t think
it
would have made a difference.
The
way he did find out was really bad.
”
She eased away from him. “Anyway, it’s time for dinner. I hope you have an appetite.”

Ben chuckled. “Don’t I always?”

They walked into the kitchen and began putting together the meal she had planned.

In the middle of shredding the carrots for a salad, Danni reached for Ben and leaned into his chest, her arms around him. “
How is it you
were able to co
me up tonight? I thought you weren’t getting time off until Sunday.”

“It was a slow day, and Joel
said I could leave at four
. I thought I’d come see how things were going
,
knowing your d
ad hasn’t made things easy for you, with your mom and all.
H
e came and told Joel
he should fire me—”

“Oh, no!”

“
Then
your mom showed up and apologized. It was a good thing we didn’t have that
many
customer
s today.
”

“What did my mom say? Does she want you fired
, too
?”

“No. Joel said she apologized for your
dad
. She was cool—and feels badly about what he said.” He
stroked her hair
. “She
love
s you,
Danni
. I’m sure
she’ll help you,
with the baby and all.
Just like my mom did with
Julie
.
”

“
She said that, too. But
I
hate putting
her in the middle, between
me
and my dad. She never stan
d
s
up to him.
She
said I sh
ould stay here for Thanksgiving,
to give Dad time to cool off. And, when she called the other day, she said she’d work on him. She told me I should get past finals and we’ll see
if I can come home then. I think she’
s going to ask Pastor Peter to talk to
Dad
, too.”

The two of them ate dinner
and
Happy munched on a bowl of kibble. While Ben did the dishes, Danni rested on the couch
then raised up on one elbow
.

“Would you like something hot to drink
before you have to leave
?”

“Good idea. It’s really wind
y tonight. If I hadn’t been in t
he Thing,
I might have been blown off the road. As old and ugly as that old ca
b
is,
it’s pretty stable
.”

Minutes later, s
he
handed
Ben
a steaming mug of hot chocolate. “
Before you go, I have something to tell you.” She paused while he took a first sip.

“I’ve made a decision.” She paused
again
, considering what she was about to say, a decision she’d been feeling better about with each passing day
, hopeful that he would be happy with her news
.

“
I’m not going to give the baby up for adoption.” She s
at
up
as she waited
for
his reaction.

He
gave her a quick glance
then lowered his face to blow on
his cocoa. “Could I have an extra marshmallow?”

She popped one in
and watched it start to melt.
“
Well
, what do you think?”

His face was serious
. “
What I think isn’
t important,
Danni,” he said quietly
.
“
It’s what
you
think that
matt
ers. I guess that means you’re going to keep the baby.”

She nodded.

“How are you going to take care of him?”

“I haven’t got it all figured out, bu
t you were right about my mom. The last time we talked, s
he said she was fine with me bringing the baby home, that we were bo
th welcome if that’
s what I want
to do.
So, since Doctor
Wright says
she thinks
I’m going to deliver in March, I
’ve decided
not to
go back
to school winter q
uarter. I’ll stay home and have the baby, and
go back in the s
pring. It’
ll be about
four
weeks old by then, and I could leave it with my mom while I’m in class. And, if Joel will take me back,
then
I could work during the summer to
help pay for what the baby
need
s
….”

He
looked at her again
, his expression still solemn. “It sounds like you have it all planned out.”

She
took
in the whole of him, sitting there seeming relaxed, a lock of hair sliding over his forehead. He brushed it out of his eyes with fingers that she knew to be sure and steady when he
worked at the clinic, fingers that generated a zing of awareness in her whenever he happened to touch her
. But there was a question in his voice when he spoke and something about the stiffness in his back told her he wasn’t
as
relaxed
as he sounded
.