Concealed Attractions (Cedar Island Tales) (37 page)

“Are y
ou
okay
?”

She
shook
her head
, her back still turned to him
. “Oh, Ben. I
wish I hadn’
t got you into all this. I wish the baby weren’t—I wish
—
”
She couldn’t say it,
that
she wished the baby was his.
What if he left
after the baby was born
?
She didn’t want to think that might happen, but what if it did?
Being alone then would be even worse than before she’d met Ben.

“Hey, hey. It’s
okay
.” He
turned her around
and
held
her
close
as she wept. “You didn’t get me into anything I wasn’t will
ing to get into
. Besides, if I hadn’t met you, how long would it have taken me to learn how to train Happy
—especially after you kept him with you to practice his guard dog stuff
?” He kissed the tip of her nose, and wiped a tear off her cheek.

She
blew her nose.
“How is Happy
-with-the-huge-
feet
?”

“He’s a graduate—the police chief said he came through his specialty training with flying colors and his handler
love
s working with him. He’s the
ir
family dog at home—lets the little kids crawl all over him,
but
when he gets into the squad car, he’s all business. You
w
ould be very proud of him.”

“But y
ou were the one who trained him.
”

“Ah, but you
showed
me how
,
so I did it right
.
I doubt he would have been ready
if you hadn’t helped me
when the chief asked about him
that first time
.” He w
alked
to the window and
looked
outside. “It’s stopped raining. Want to go for a walk?
You say it relaxes you when you do that.
”

“Good idea.
”
She
put on her coat. They left the cottage arm in arm. When the trail narrowed, he led the way and she followed. As they neared the edge of the trees, Ben motioned for her to
stop
.

“Did you hear
that
?”

“
What?
” She
looked
around.

“It sounded like a backfire. But I don’t see a car, and
we
don’t have an
y neighbors now that the Benson
s have closed up their place.” He
looked
past her
toward the road
before resuming their walk
.
They
continued through the woods,
emerged onto the beach and headed for the water line, now far out in the bay. The
tide pools
they skirted
sh
immered
in
the moon
light
. They walked in the direction of the nearest vacation cottage, its windows
board
ed
up
.

“
Let’s
sit here. T
he Benson
s won’t mind.”

Ben helped her up
the steps of the deserted cottage.
The
y
sat in the swing on the covered porch and watched the waves
shimmering as the
moon
skated
between the clouds
, alternately lighting the shore and leaving it in misty darkness
.

“The sea is calme
r now that the rain has stopped.” S
he leaned her head against his shoulder
and
slid
one hand in his
.
“I
love
the sound of the waves.
”
I
love
walking with you and holding hands with you, and you rubbing my back.
You are a true friend
.

“Are you
more
relaxed
now
?”
he asked.

She nodded.

“
Danni
.”
It was almost a whisper.
His lips briefly touched the side of her face.

Her heart thudded against her ribs.
Was he going to give her a real kiss again?
“What?”

“I want you
to
know
, whatever you need now,
or
after the baby is born
,
I’m here for you
. F
or the two of you. You do know that, don’t you?”

She
l
ifted her head
and nodded
. “You are so kind, Ben.”
I just wish you were more than a friend.
Her
pulse picked up
, not daring to
hope
he wanted to be more than a friend
, too
.

“Good.”
He
wink
ed at her
and gave her
ribs
a little poke
.
“Wanna race back? I’ll bet I can beat you.”

She
shook
her head. “
Come
March or April, I’ll take that bet. Then we’ll see who can run the fastest.
Did I ever tell you I ran track in high school?
”

He chuckled
deep
in his chest.

They descended the steps together
and
wa
nder
ed down the beach
for several minutes before
taking another route
through the woods to the cottage she now thought of as their
s
.

On Christmas Eve,
Danni and Ben
met her mother at the door
of the church
. The three of them
enter
ed and found seats
near
the back.

Pastor Peter welcomed them.
“It’s good to see you again,
Dannilynn
. The choir will miss that you aren’t singing with them tonight.”

“I will be,
from my seat,” she said,
not sure
she would be able to do so without
weep
ing. 
At the close of the service,
the lights were dimmed and the candles lit,
gradually surround
ing all who were singing “
Silent Night.
”
Danni
let her
tears fall
unheeded
, her heart full, wishing her father would forgive her, wishing life could be
as
uncomplicated
as it had been
before
she’d started college
,
but
with Ben added
.

When they left the church,
he
asked her mother to come
with them
. There,
in the Green Monster, cleaned to within an inch of its life,
they exchanged the gifts
Danni
had wrapped for her parents. Ben
took
the
gifts Anna
handed over
—for
Danni
and the baby
and him
—and
promis
ed
to p
lace
them under the little tree
he
had
propp
ed
in the corner of the living room
. The
three of them
hugged and said their good-byes.

“It
’s starting to snow,” Ben remarked, as they approached the cottage.

“
The perfect
time for it
,
”
Danni
replied.

They set the gifts aside and went into the kitchen. “I’m kind of cold.
Time for
some tea. Want
a cup
?”

“I’ll stick with coffe
e.”
They sipped their mugs in
companionable
silence
, each staring into the
flames
that licked the logs
Ben had stacked in the fireplace
.

Danni
set her cup
down and stood up. “I have something to ask you,
but
I don’t want you to jump to conclusions.”
She
gaz
ed into his
green
eyes
, the look on his face warming her
, giving her hope that he would agree
.

“Shoot
, Shortie
.
”

“
You make me feel
safe,
especially when you put your arms around me.
I’ve been
feeling
alone
, all by myself
when I go to bed
.
I
was wondering if you
...
well,
w
ould you hold me while I fall asleep
tonight?
It would help
me think of something positive, especially tonight. I
nstead of not being home with my folks
, since it’s
Christmas Eve
.
”
Her breath caught as she held back the tears that threatened again.
Her first Christmas not at home.

“I’d be honored.” He
took
her hand and led her into the bedroom. “But I
have to ask you a question
first
.”
He scanned her bed
.
“Is there enough room for the three of us?”

“If we pretend we’re spoo
ns, I’m sure there will be room.”

He waited until she was settled in bed
, the cover tucked around her, a pillow under her head
.
He went into his room and stri
pped down to his boxes and a t
-shirt.
Turning
off the light
s
,
he returned to her room and
slipped in beside he
r
. Then he tucked a pillow near the small of her back and
wrapp
ed
his arms around her
as he slid
closer
.

“H
ow’s this?
” he whispered into her ear.

“Wonderful,” she murmured, feeling the warmth of his body
, wondering if what she
thought she
felt meant he desired her
. Her breath caught, imagining what it might be like to make
love
with
him.

He started to hum a
Christmas tune and
stopped in mid-
verse
with a little cough
.
After a lengthy silence, during which she basked in the
heat his body was giving off,
he
murmured
,
“Christmas is for your family,
Danni
. Think of the
baby,
and everyone who
love
s you.
”
He kissed the nape of her neck.
Over the next several minutes,
her body
tension
gradually
fell away,
melting in the warmth of Ben’s body next to hers,
and she slept, dreaming
of a family
consisting of herself and
a baby
held in the arms of
a very tall
man,
a man who said he was
protecting
her child, protecting
her, too
.

The next morning
when
she
woke
, Ben
was gazing
at her
, his head propped on one hand, his elbow pressing down against the pillow
.
The way he was looking at her warmed her
deep
inside.
“What are you
look
ing at?” S
he
pushed
her hair off her face.