Conflicted (Secrets and Lies) (37 page)

"I thought you were going to bed," he answered on the surprised side.

"I wanted to hear your voice. I like hearing it before I fall asleep," I admitted.

"It's shocking to hear you be so honest without having to pry it out of you," he noted.

I sighed. "I'm trying Ethan."

Silence filled the line as we listened to each other's slow breaths. Listening to him breathe made my heart spring to life at a sprint.

"Have you ever heard of six for six?" I asked.

"I can't say I have. Where are you going with this Mia?" he questioned warily.

"We get six questions. Three of them can be about more serious aspects of our lives but the others need to be lighthearted," I suggested.

My stomach fluttered hoping he'd agree. The only thing we knew for sure was that we were very drawn to each other with an insane compatibility in bed.

"Is this your version of twenty questions?"

"It's my way of trying to open up to you more," I responded quietly.

"I assume you have rules so let's have them," Ethan replied after a minute.

"We have the right to veto at least one question if we don't want to answer it."

"I can live with that rule. Do I at least get to go first?"

"Sure."

Ethan paused and took several shallow breaths. I started nervously biting at my cuticles.

"Where do you feel most euphoric?"

I laid down on her bed letting a smile spread across my face. "It's a point within the old neighborhood that allows you to see all the suburbs as well as the city as the lake intersects its way through it all. I don't know what it is about that particular place but I always feel at peace."

"It sounds wonderful," Ethan commented.

"I'd ask you what your place is but you've already revealed it to me. What other companies do you own?"

"Does that qualify as a serious question?"

"Yes."

"I have vested interests in quite a few different ventures. The club is one so is the pro shop."

"Seriously, you own that place too. No wonder you were so willing to cover the bill for everything!" I interjected.

"Are you going to let me finish or are you hell bent on ranting?" Ethan retorted.

I smirked. "Go on."

"I have businesses between restaurants and personal interests. I've taken stock in other areas that I am passionate about that don't have anything to do with my father's company."

His father's company...Interesting he doesn't refer to it as his company.

"Have you ever gone skinny dipping?" he asked devilishly.

I giggled. "You have such a dirty mind. Yes, I've gone skinny dipping."

"You made it seem like the other night was the first time you ever did something that shameless in public," he replied, shocked.

"Ethan, we were outside of a very crowded club where anyone could've seen us. God knows how many people heard it. It was a first for me. The times I've skinny dipped were in secluded areas."

"Did you have sex any of those times?" he inquired.

"Ha. I don't have to answer that one because it's my turn," I answered.

I attempted to ignore the flashes of heat that tingled south of me. I wasn't going to let him seduce me into phone sex because his seductive tone implied that was exactly what he wanted.

"What's your favorite fast food chain?" I asked.

My mind had drifted to much dirtier thoughts. I focused on willing my body to purge the growing impulse to have hot and sweaty sex with him. Every part of my body was alive with a want for him. I tried even harder to stop those feelings before they turned into a dead ache. I never longed for sex like I did with him.

"White Castle," he answered straightaway.

I did little to withhold gagging which also helped desensitize my overly turned on body.

"What's wrong with White Castle?"

"It's right up there with peanut butter on your pancakes. I don't know if this is going to work Ethan. We have some serious food differences," I teased.

"Your pallet for food is way too limited. I might need to fix that for you."

"I think my likes and dislikes when it comes to food are just fine. If I feel the need to drop those standards, you'll be my first call," I snickered.

"I swear your mouth kills me at times."

Ethan chuckled then paused taking a deep breath. I held mine letting the butterflies in my stomach take over.

"What is one of your favorite memories of your past that you feel changed your life?" he asked softly.

I let out a huge sigh. "I would have to say that it would be my first day of junior high."

"Will you tell me the story and why you feel like it changed your life forever?"

"Bri and I have been inseparable since we met in junior high. We ended up having lockers next to each other. We quickly came to realize that we were in most of the same advanced classes together and played on the same sports teams. We were both outspoken and a little on the wild side so it was easy for us to get to know each other. She's like a sister to me."

"She sounds like a very important part of your life," Ethan whispered.

"She is but so are the other people that I live with. They have a very special place in my heart," I conceded.

I felt a strange sense of peace sharing this with him.

"It's your turn," he spoke up.

"What is your relationship to your family?"

I dug my fingers into the comforter. It made me uneasy to ask him at all. Ethan sat silent on the other end for a long time before letting out a forced breath.

"It's complicated," he replied in a very strained tone. "My father died several years ago. I never got a long with him. I've remained at the company as a dying wish to my mother."

My heart throbbed knowing that Ethan lost someone that dear to him. It was clear in his tone that he held her in high regard and was still mourning her loss.

"Same question to you," Ethan probed.

I dropped the comforter and began twirling a piece of hair. "The people I live with are my family."

"I meant your real family Mia," he pressed.

"I only have my uncle as far as blood lines are concerned," I replied stiffly.

"By the tone in your voice, I assume you're not close to him."

"No, he took me in out of obligation when I was four. I hardly know the man."

We sat in an awkward silence when I took my turn before he pried even more on that question. I would veto anything he asked regarding my parents.

"What is your secret for keeping up that amazing body of yours?"

A hearty laugh rumbled from his chest sending a wave of relief through me. I didn't want to get stuck on a subject that would bring this conversation down. This crazy idea was turning out better than I anticipated. We were finally learning things about each other.

"I work out every day. I start my day in the gym whether it is at my place or at the office."

My mind drifted to his naked body making me lick my lips. I was fighting the desire within me as it strongly pressed to be next to him getting hot and sweaty.

"My turn and I'm going to play on your sexed up feelings," he teased.

It frustrates me that he is that in tune with my thoughts. God only knows what he'll ask me.

"What's the kinkiest thing you've ever said or done?" Ethan asked and quickly continued, "And you can't use the other night."

I flushed thinking about that particular answer. As audacious as my actions were the other night, it wasn't my answer. "I'm going to use my veto on that one so you will have to let your mind wander on it."

"Typical. Do I at least get another question since you vetoed?"

I rolled my eyes. "Pouting does not become you Ethan so quit it. I'll give you another question since I'm sure you are nowhere near done whining."

"How'd you know I was pouting?"

I beamed. "What's your question?"

"What are two of your secret talents that you don't share with people?"

"I know how to hot wire a car and pick any lock imaginable," I confessed.

"Very devious and good to know," he mused.

"Indeed. Name one thing on your bucket list."

"Joining the mile high club," he chuckled.

"Interesting...that's on my list too," I remarked.

"If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?" Ethan asked.

"I'd love to be able to control the elements. The possibilities are endless," I joked.

"In your opinion, what is the difference between sex and making love?" I asked.

He could veto this one or make me decide if it was a serious question. My heart sped up as my mind raced curious as ever at what he'd say.

"I've had plenty of sex in my life. I didn't realize there was a difference until this past weekend. I've only made love with one person and the difference can't be measured or described by any word that I know," he answered softly.

My heart stopped beating. It took several minutes for me to comprehend his answer as well as maintain my body's functionality. He took a deep breath as if to regain his composure from sharing something that deep.

"I guess I'm not the only one that has a way with words. You sure know what to say when you want to Ethan," I whispered.

"I only say what I mean Mia. If you could pick one song that defines your life, what song would it be?"

A gush of air passed through me. I decided to go with a lighthearted answer. It would give him somewhat of an idea about how I felt about him and it certainly fit our situation. As much as I denied it, I was in love with him. My heart confirmed it by beating even faster.

"Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis," I answered.

"I'm going to have to listen to that one. It's been awhile since I've heard it."

"I'm going to ask you the same question."

"Everything, Lifehouse," Ethan said in a nanosecond.

"Mia, I know we're out of questions but I want you to know that you're the only one."

"What do you mean?" I rasped. My voice was unwilling to work as my heart fluttered sending hopeful waves throughout my entire body. My stomach knotted together as I recalled the depth of the song he selected.

"You're the only girl I've ever wanted to make a part of my life. I don't take chances on people. I'm sure you can relate. But with you, I took a leap of faith. I've watched you from afar and swooped in at any chance I had to learn more about you."

The walls around my heart rattled at a deafening tone. Try as I might to keep him out, Ethan had cracked almost all of them in such a short period. I closed my eyes completely stunned. What did I have that he couldn't get from another girl? He was gorgeous and I was nothing short of a hot mess on a good day. He had no idea what he was getting into by pursuing me.

Why me?

"Did you just ask me why I want you?" Ethan asked.

"Uh...not intentionally. Apparently, my filter is on a side bar so that particular thought flew out without being able to be pulled back," I responded wholly embarrassed.

"I like when that happens. It's a refreshing change to get your thoughts as they come to you. I want you because I love what I see in your eyes and what I hear in your thoughts along with how strongly you carry yourself," he admitted.

"Are you saying I'm yours?" I asked in astonishment.

"You've been mine since the second our eyes met," Ethan responded unwaveringly.

"I remember that moment. Your eyes blew me away. I thought that they were an invitation to find out all of life's secrets."

His breath faltered as he asked, "Have you found out any of those secrets yet?"

"I've never seen myself or my life more clearly than I have when I'm with you so maybe the secret to my life has always been you," I whispered.

My heart oscillated right out of my chest as I gave him another piece of me.

Ethan gasped. "I've never heard you be so open before Mia."

"You were the one that asked me to distract you so that you wouldn't touch me. Consider this part of the distraction," I responded wryly.

I listened as he took slow breaths. Whatever happened to us going forward, I had to believe in my heart that sharing as much as we did tonight might just be enough to save us. I wanted to believe it. I was desperate to believe it. I needed him. As I hoped for the best, my phone started to beep.

"My phone is going to die soon. I should go to bed since I need to be up in a few hours."

My stomach twitched feeling uneasy at all the things that I needed to do when it came to him and me. He deserved to know so much more about me. We lingered on the line. After plenty of heated breaths, I exhaled slowly making the move to end the call.

"Good night Ethan."

"I'm glad you called Mia. Good night."

I wanted to stay on the line with him for the rest of the night talking about anything and everything. The walls around my heart collapsed tonight. I wanted to tell him everything about me. I didn't want another secret to linger between us.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The following morning I dressed in a rush not giving a damn about the clothes. I left the house wanting to get this part of my day past me. I got downtown and found a parking spot without issue. I went to Harrison's office going over my decision in my head from every angle possible. Before entering his office, I grabbed my phone and selected the application that would record our conversation. I pressed record, tossed my phone back into my purse, and took a calming breath before opening the door.

"Mia, come in," Harrison greeted.

My guard up went up once I saw him. His legs were on the desk with his hands rested against the armrest of his chair. The coldness in his eyes made my heart pound erratically.

"Thanks for meeting with me on short notice," I said, taking a seat across from him.

"Did you find out something substantial to bring you into the office?"

"No, I haven't found out anything that will help your work," I admitted.

I started fidgeting with the strap on my purse to keep my fingers busy.

"Why did you want to meet today?" Harrison asked harshly.

"I'm here to let you know that I'm stepping out. This isn't right for me."