Conflicted (Secrets and Lies) (39 page)

"Ethan," I moaned even louder than earlier.

He quieted me with his hungry lips. His tongue commanded mine until I stopped groaning.

"You have got to try to be quiet Mia," Ethan said between heated breaths.

His fingers fell into a meticulous pace that had me close. His tongue swept across my neck to my earlobe. I brought my head down resting it in the crook of his neck tenderly biting down to keep from whimpering again. Needing to focus on keeping quiet, my hands travelled back to his fly. As I ran my fingers along him, my foggy brain remembered a comment from yesterday. I unwrapped from around him and dropped to my knees. I batted my eyelashes before pulling his pants all the way down. I gave him one last look before running my tongue along him until I reached his tip. I circled around it delicately before running it along his piercing.

"Fuck that feels unbelievable," Ethan hissed.

His hands went to my shoulders where he kept a firm grip. My tongue went to his tip and piercing each time to swirl and suck before resuming the same course again. Ethan dug into me as his breathing became raspy. I ran my tongue back to his tip one last time before wrapping my lips around him as far as they would go. I sucked and swirled until a loud moan growled from his chest. I sensed him getting close and passed back to his tip to lick the soft moisture. His hands reached under my shoulders. Ethan hauled me back up to his chest. His lips crushed mine as he swept me from the floor. He hiked my skirt up before he rocked inside of me.

"Ah...Ethan," I cried.

I brought my hand to my mouth to keep from screaming. My head slammed into the wall as he pumped into me roughly. His fingers squeezed the inside of my hips. My hands clasped around his shoulders. I licked away a trickle of sweat that was glistening along his neck.

Every part of me wanted to find a sense of peace with him but I wasn't able to with my mind preoccupied with everything else from the morning. I was getting close but I wasn't able to let go. Ethan continued driving into me with such vigor that I banged my head against the wall in time with him trying to let go of everything. My conscious was alive and well. Ethan slowed to a still and held me as his eyes deepened with concern.

"Mia, what is wrong?" he rasped.

"It's nothing. Keep going," I whispered.

All the unprovoked feelings I had for Ethan were there. I thrust my hips hard into his so that he would continue. He twitched inside of me making the fire rise higher than before. I focused on it as every part of me began to rely on satisfying that need for him. I rocked against him again. He resumed the pace he was at before my actions brought us to a stop. He pumped harder and I let go to the moment. He moved towards the table that was in the room. He laid me gently on it and placed his elbows on each side of me.

Ethan never stopped but he slowed his pace from the fast way we had been going to an unhurried one. He twisted his hips with each thrust. He discarded my shirt and ran his hands across my chest. Each thrust from him increased the pulsating inside of me. Ethan brought his mouth to my breasts where he began giving me light kisses.

"Ah...," I groaned.

I swung my hips into his hoping he'd bring us to a climax soon. Sweat prickled at my forehead as he slid at his precise pace. He dragged my hands to my side as continued to rock forward. My teeth gripped my bottom lip to hold back the scream that I wanted to let out as he went deeper. I arched my back to meet him as he started to go faster. I ran my nails up his back as he lowered his head to my chest.

"Ethan...I'm so close please don't let me do this alone," I mewled.

He pushed harder than any other point thus far. The love behind his deep brown eyes absorbed me and I climaxed hard around him. Ethan groaned as he released into me. The room was filled with nothing but two hearts beating as one. He slid out and pulled up his pants. I was still trying to come back down to earth from the blissfulness.

He rested his head right next to mine and blew a piece of hair away from my face. "You were dead against touching yesterday but today you come in wanting sex. I can never seem to keep up with you."

I ran my fingers along his rigid jaw urging him to relax with each stroke. Ethan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I was a walking contradiction to him. The exalted feelings I had moments ago left as the self-loathing returned. I sat up from the table and slid on my shirt. I rubbed my eyes trying to find clarity again. He left the table and grabbed his shirt and tie. I readjusted my skirt and looked around for my panties.

"The rest of today will be interesting," I murmured, picking up the scraps.

Ethan paused from securing his tie. I waved the scraps at him.

"I don't always control my animalistic urges around you," he justified.

I gave him a full blow grin. My hands took over to fasten his tie for him. I paused at his collar to wipe away the lipstick that was there and along his neck. My hand rested on his chest near his heart to take in ever beat.

"I like that I bring out those urges in you. It evens the playing field for me," I teased.

He rolled his eyes. "The things you do to me Mia. I've never had sex in my car or in this office and you've managed to cross those off the list in a matter of days."

Before opening the door, Ethan paused for a tender kiss before dropping my hand. The pretenses were back as we returned to his office. I followed carefully behind him. He ran his fingers along the wall until he hit the latch for the door to swing open. He crossed over to his desk and sat down in his chair. I settled in across from him. Ethan shook his head with a cocky grin. I raised an eyebrow out of curiosity.

"I was going to ask you how you wanted to start this morning but I guess that question isn't necessary."

"Smart ass," I retorted. "What time is it?"

"Quarter to ten," Ethan answered smugly.

"Are you serious? Wow, I'm sorry Ethan. I didn't realize that we..."

I let the sentence trail off as the heat in my cheeks flamed to a deep shade of red. He smiled so wide that his shiny teeth almost blinded me. At least he wasn't angry at the loss of hours.

"We should get to work as most of the morning has slipped by us among other things."

I brought up his proposal not bothering to look at him for any direction. His phone rang and he answered it on the fourth ring. Similar to the call yesterday, it was short and it left him agitated. I kept my eyes away not wanting to pry at whatever pissed him off that much.

We worked in silence for the rest of the morning. I was sharpening the proposal when his fingers ran along the inside of my right hand pausing in the center. His fingers circled around the scar there and it made me cringe. I usually kept it covered up with a watch or a bracelet but must have forgot this morning. I placed my hand on top of his and forced him to stop.

"Don't," I said bitterly.

"I didn't mean to upset you but it caught my eye. What happened?" Ethan asked quietly.

"I don't know. It's been there for as long as I can remember. I'm assuming it occurred when I was quite young but I have no memory of it or anyone to ask," I snapped.

Ethan glanced at me not believing a word that I said by the starkness in his eyes. "How do you have no memory of something that distinct?"

"I don't have any memory of it because I have absolutely no memory of my parents or my life whatsoever before I was brought here. Is that what you want to hear? I'm sure you think this is another thing that I'm holding back from you but I don't fucking know!" I yelled.

I shouldn't be this angry with him for asking but everything in my life was such a mess that I couldn't contain it. I hated that scar. I had always wondered about it. The scar was very precise in creepy way. It was round with a center that seemed to resemble some sort of symbol or initial. It was too marred to make out to be sure one way or the other.

I caught Chase looking at it over the years and it led me to believe that he probably knew the truth behind it but we never talked about it. Any time I asked about my past, he shot me down completely. My entire body shook with the ire running through me. I slid the chair back. I needed distance from Ethan. I was close to wrath mode. I got up crossing the room to even my breathing. There were so many things running through me and the last thing I wanted to think about was that particular part of my past. I gave up figuring out those answers a long time ago.

Ethan rounded his desk and hauled me into him. "Let's go," he commanded.

I stepped away from his embrace. He switched gears on me. He was the picture of ease not showing an ounce of the distrust he exhibited a moment ago.

Fuck he confuses me! I wish just once I could follow his train of thought.

"What?" I asked, flustered.

"You need a break. I could use some food so let's go."

I nodded. He rested his forehead against mine while running his lips across the corner of my mouth. It was exactly what I needed to still everything inside of me.

We strode in an unhurried pace to the front of the building. Ethan veered off to the receptionist desk while I kept walking towards the door. I stopped dead in my tracks when a familiar face caught my eye. Needing confirmation, I leaned against the glass wall behind me and squinted to get a better look. My stomach churned when I realized it was Ian O'Connor. My mind raced trying to piece together if I'd seen him at all since I started. The only thing I recalled was his family's unexplained presence at our house a few weeks ago. If he was at my birthday party, it was more than a coincidence that he showed up and it had nothing to do with a damn tweet. I tried to determine if there was any connection to what Harrison was saying this morning but had nothing conclusive.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

I rested my elbow against the window keeping my head clear for the drive. What was usually a long drive at this time of day ended up going rather quick and I was in the heart of downtown. With my car parked in the ramp, I exited to the street on my way to the address Ethan had directed me to meet him at for lunch. As the bustle of the city went on around me, I stared upwards and took in the huge skyscraper above me that appeared to be my destination.

"Do you want to eat or would rather stand out here on the sidewalk staring?"

Ethan's voice rang above the other noise flooding my ears. He was leaning against the building while watching me.

"Let's eat," I said, closing the distance between us.

He entwined our hands together on our way to the elevators. We boarded an empty one and Ethan selected a floor near the top. As the floors passed by us, I felt his eyes on me but kept facing forward. I'd already given into that side of me once today. It didn't seem to stop my body from radiating waves of heat that were building within me. His fingers stroked the inside of my hand urging me to give in to what he does to me.

The elevator rescued me from succumbing to his tantalizing ways when it stopped and the door opened. Ethan directed me towards a small cafe. The entire cafe contained windows all around. Any seat within it gave the beholder an amazing viewpoint of the city. The view in the evening had to be magnificent when the lights from all the buildings downtown sprang to life to keep their skyscrapers a known presence throughout the night.

"Two," a scratchy voice said breaking my reverie.

"Yes," Ethan answered, pulling me forward.

We sat in a corner section of the cafe. I continued to stare out the window. I was watching the vehicles travel below. They appeared like tiny Matchbox cars. The pedestrians on the street complimented the cars by looking like ants. I gazed to my right to follow the view as it sprawled across larger buildings before fading into the suburbs. I absorbed every angle with the soft music coming from the cafe's speakers being the only other thing within my mind. Ethan's voice brought me out of my daze.

"You haven't picked up your menu."

I brought my attention back to the table. I took in the look on his face. His dimpled smile graced his beautiful face but his eyes gave way to his thoughts. My behavior this morning was at the forefront of his mind.

I flashed him a smile and opened my menu. "Do you have any recommendations?"

"I'm partial to the Ravioli a mezzaluna or the Stracci. The Gnocchi isn't bad either and you can never go wrong with Spaghetti. It's hard to screw up spaghetti" he recommended.

I raised my eyebrow at his many suggestions. I scanned the menu once more before closing it with my meal selected. I avoided his curious stares by looking out the window again.

"You're awfully quiet," Ethan murmured.

"I'm enjoying the view. Any particular reason we came downtown for lunch?"

"It's a great place to free your mind and the food isn't half bad either."

"It's amazing and I'll take your word on the food. Thank you for sharing it with me. It's going to be one hell of a drive back to the office by the time we are finished here."

Ethan shifted uneasily. "We aren't going back. We're taking the rest of the day off."

"There is no way that you can afford to take the rest of the day off," I snapped.

"Don't argue with me Mia. I don't know what it is but you never seem to relax when you're there," Ethan said, narrowing his eyes in warning.

"If people didn't think I was fucking you before, they sure will now," I shot back.

Before the argument escalated any further, the server arrived to take our order. Since Ethan was God's gift to women, she directed all her attention to him.

"What can I get for you?" she asked in a singsong voice.

"I'll take the Pappa al pomodoro with the Salmone along with a Bloody Mary and glass of water," Ethan replied, keeping his angry eyes on me.

She wrote down his order and continued batting her eyes at him. I cleared my throat to get my order out and back to our argument.

"I'll take the Gnocchi with a Mojito and a glass of water."

"Oh, yes, right. I'll get these orders in," she replied, giving Ethan a parting grin as she grabbed the menus.