Connie Mason (35 page)

“I will know and I will care,” Falcon replied. “Father Francis agreed to perform the ceremony in the chapel today before Vespers. I’ll ask cook to prepare a wedding feast and dispatch a messenger to the village with an invitation to any of the cotters who wish to attend.”

“I haven’t said yes,” Mariah whispered. “This is all going too fast for me.”

“You have no choice, Mariah.”

“Can you forgive my lies?”

Falcon looked torn. “I do not know.” Grasping her hands, he lifted her to her feet and took her into his arms. She stiffened and then melted into him. “Look at me, Mariah.” She raised her eyes to his. “We’ll always have this.”

Then he kissed her, and all Mariah’s doubts fled. Falcon was the only man for her, the only man she’d ever want, so why fight her feelings? She loved him enough for both of them. And one day, mayhap Falcon would return her love. If he was willing to give up his dreams of wealth and land to marry her, it was possible that he already loved her and either didn’t know it or refused to acknowledge it.

Falcon’s kiss deepened, grew more demanding. Mariah’s arms circled his neck as his hands roamed hotly over her back. Reaching down, he cupped her buttocks, pulling her hard against his arousal. She felt the rigid proof of his need and reveled in it. Falcon could lie to himself, but he couldn’t lie to her.

His kisses tasted like more than simple lust.

He cared about her, mayhap even loved her.

Her conviction grew firmer when Falcon swept her into his arms and whispered against her lips, “I want to make love to you.” His voice held a note of desperation. “Nay, I
need
to make love to you. This was meant to be.
We
were meant to be.”

Mariah felt no need to argue.

Mariah’s gown and shift disappeared so quickly, she was left breathless. Falcon shed his own clothing as swiftly as he had rid her of hers. Desire softened his mouth as his gaze burned a trail of fire down her body. Then he kissed her, fusing their mouths and bodies together as if they were one, as if he wanted to devour her. He eased her onto the bed and followed her down.

Mariah sighed as he reached between her thighs, found the delicate petals of her sex and slipped two fingers inside her aching cleft. She moaned and parted her legs wider, opening herself to his intimate caress. When he lowered his head and blew gently on her wet flesh, she shivered and arched up against him. Then he placed his mouth where his fingers had been and used his tongue to arouse her, sucking and licking her swollen sex.

She felt a rush of heat and wetness flood her, but before she reached a climax, Falcon grasped her waist and pulled her on top of him. “Take me inside you,” he murmured raggedly.

Mariah eagerly obliged. The need to be filled by him
was overwhelming. She straddled his hips and positioned herself over him, barely grazing his arousal with her hot, slick center. It was as if every nerve he’d just aroused had been slumbering, aching to be taken to new delights. Gazing into his eyes, she placed her hands flat against his chest and sheathed him in her wet heat.

Falcon groaned and lifted his head until he could reach her mouth, driving his tongue deep inside. Mariah kissed him back, then broke the kiss, gazing down at him as he thrust into her, awed by the sight of his naked body, his strength, his blatant masculinity. Naught existed but Falcon and the thrill of having him inside her.

Falcon tried to slow down in order to savor the beauty of the creamy skin of her shoulders, her breasts and rosy nipples hanging just out of reach above him. But desperate need drove him. He wanted to make this last, wanted it to go on forever, but his body was clamoring for completion. Inserting a hand between them, he began to stroke the nub of pleasure hidden in the sleek folds between her legs. Her breath caught, then disintegrated into frantic little moans as he filled and caressed her at the same time.

She began to move faster atop him, in turn making him thrust deeper, harder. He wanted to remain joined to her forever, wanted to spill himself into her and forget the past that lay between them. Despite her history of lies, Falcon wanted to make a life with Mariah and their children. In bed they were perfect.

His frenzied thrusts into her body grew frantic. Falcon wanted to slow their pace, to hold her against his pounding chest while he regained a semblance of control, but the pleasure surging through him was unstoppable. Suddenly
Mariah cried out, stiffened and then rocked frantically against him, his name on her lips. He couldn’t hold back. He drove into her again and again, releasing his seed into her in a rush of scalding heat.

She collapsed against him, her breath erupting in harsh puffs against his shoulder. Her hair fell in a tangled mass of gold across his chest, and her sheath still gripped him tight. He wrapped his arms around her, pulled out of her and eased her onto the mattress beside him.

Rising over her, he kissed her, claiming ownership with his mouth and tongue, as if making love hadn’t been enough to place his brand upon her. He licked and nipped and tasted. He kissed her long and hard, and then slow and deep. He wanted to prove to her that she needed him, for this if for naught else.

He broke off the kiss and rolled away. Then he rose and began to dress. “There’s a great deal to do before our wedding,” he said distractedly.

Mariah wasn’t sure what had just happened. Falcon had gone from blistering hot to cool and preoccupied in a matter of minutes. Was this the kind of behavior she could expect in their marriage?

“I . . . I’m not sure we should wed,” she stammered. “I don’t know if I could live with a man who feels naught for me.”

Falcon whipped around, his eyes dark with an emotion she couldn’t read. “You are mistaken, Mariah. You know I value honor above all else. If I disliked you, I could not have made love to you as I just did. Tell me my lovemaking was cold and emotionless and I will call you a liar.”

Mariah lowered her eyes. “Nay, I cannot. You were as involved as I was.”

“Then clear your mind of such thoughts and prepare for our wedding.” He strode to the door.

“Falcon, wait!”

He halted at the door and turned to look at her. She was sitting up in bed with the sheet pulled up to her neck. “Before we are bound forever, please tell me you feel something for me. Give me hope for a happy future.”

Falcon didn’t move, didn’t bat an eyelash. A shudder ran through him, and then he moved swiftly to the bed. Grasping her hands, he brought them to his lips. “I wouldn’t wed you if I didn’t want to. That should tell you something.”

“It tells me you are an honorable man, but naught of what I truly want to hear.”

He inhaled sharply. “Damnation, Mariah, what do you want from me?”

Mariah knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it. Her heart told her Falcon loved her, and she would settle for no less. “Your heart; I want your heart. You’ve always had mine.”

“
Do
I have yours, Mariah?”

“Aye, you are the only man I’ve ever loved. ’Tis a difficult thing to admit when you’ve given me no reason to believe my love is returned.”

Falcon sat on the bed. “I’ve done a great deal of thinking lately. I understand why you lied, I can even understand why Lord Edmond encouraged you. You needed an heir to keep Osgood from inheriting, and I was handy.”

“It was more than that, Falcon. I wouldn’t have made love with you if I hadn’t had feelings for you even then. You weren’t just a man who walked in and out of my life, a man who left an heir for Mildenhall.

“I wanted you to stay, but once you regained your memory, you were determined to leave immediately. ’Twas as if I ceased to exist for you. I wasn’t the heiress you needed, nor would I ever be the kind of woman you wanted. But over the years I remained true to you in my heart. Had you not returned, I would never have known love again.”

A lump formed in Falcon’s throat. Mariah’s impassioned words humbled him. How could he not return her love? Had he ever felt for another woman what he felt for Mariah? The answer surprised him. Honor was a part of a knight’s oath. He had always been or tried to be an honorable man in all his dealings, but what was honor without love?

What kind of a life would he have without Mariah in it? Without Robbie or the new babe Mariah carried? Was that love? Though he wasn’t sure, his feelings for Mariah eclipsed any other emotion he’d ever experienced.

“Tell me what is in your heart, Falcon,” Mariah pleaded.

Falcon grasped her face between his hands and kissed her, putting his heart and soul into his kiss. When he finally released her and leaned away, he was humbled by the pure joy shining in her eyes.

“You
do
love me!” Mariah crowed.

Falcon sighed. “I can no longer hide behind my honor, Mariah. What I once considered lies, I now perceive as acts of desperation. I’ve known that for a long time, but couldn’t bring myself to admit it. I’ve always wanted you; that hasn’t changed over the years. Learning that Robbie is my son has been a life-altering experience.

“It’s taken a long time and hard introspection to make
me realize I love you. I refused to acknowledge that emotion because I believed loving you would compromise my honor.”

He snorted. “But you knew all along, didn’t you?”

Mariah’s smile could have lit the world. “There are some things a woman knows about the man she loves. I had to make you admit how you felt before I could marry you. I know love isn’t important in most marriages, but it is to me. Edmond was a father and friend to me, but after his death I yearned for more. I needed a man who would be my lover, my friend, my husband, a man who loved me as much as I loved him. That man is you, Falcon.”

“I will be all of those things to you, my love. Forgive me for being so stubborn, for hiding behind my honor when ’twas you I wanted, only you. Will you forgive me?”

“Only if you forgive me.”

He kissed her hard and quick. “Truth to tell, I wouldn’t marry you had I not forgiven you.” He raised his hand when she tried to interrupt. “Nay, I know what I told you earlier, but I was experiencing so many strange emotions, I didn’t know what to make of them. I love you, Mariah, never doubt it. I’ve been an inflexible ass.”

“Aye, you have,” Mariah agreed, “but I forgive you.” She gave him a push. “Go now and prepare for our wedding.”

Mariah couldn’t remove the smile from her face after Falcon left. Why did men have to be so stubborn? Lust is a powerful emotion that sooner or later wanes, but love lasts forever. Falcon’s need for her had never diminished. That was her first hint that he loved her.

There came a knock at the door. Mariah roused herself enough to ask who it was.

“Edwina,” came the muffled reply.

“Come in, Edwina.”

A wide smile rearranged Edwina’s wrinkles. “I just spoke with Falcon. Today is your wedding day, lass. The whole castle is atwitter.”

A frown replaced Edwina’s smile. “What are you doing abed? Are you ill? Is it the babe?”

Mariah’s cheeks glowed with color. “I am fine, Edwina. Falcon just left my chamber. I wish you had told me I was carrying Falcon’s babe before you told Falcon. Though I suspected, I wasn’t sure.”

Edwina’s grin returned. “Falcon was here with you?” She rolled her eyes. “He must have been pleased about the babe.”

“I think my pregnancy surprised me more than Falcon. At first I feared . . . well, I feared he would leave me. Then he told me we would be wed this very day. For a while I balked. I . . . I wanted him to admit that he loved me. I want a real marriage, not an arrangement for the sake of our children.”

“Falcon loves you. I told you that long ago.”

Mariah smiled wistfully. “Aye, he does love me. I can finally be happy.”

“Then let’s prepare you for your wedding. Your bath-water is heating in the kitchen as we speak.”

“Will you fetch Robbie for me? I want to tell him before anyone else does.”

After Falcon left Mariah, he issued a string of orders and then went to look for Robbie. He found the lad in the stables, playing with the new kittens. He lifted Robbie onto a bale of hay and sat down beside him.

“Are you going to take me for a ride on your horse, Falcon?” Robbie asked.

“Not today, son. There’s something I want to tell you, something very important, something that I hope will make you happy.”

Robbie cocked his head, his eyes round. “You’re going to leave, aren’t you?”

“Nay, just the opposite. I’m going to marry your mother and stay at Mildenhall.”

Robbie flung his arms around Falcon’s neck. “Will that make you my papa?”

“I’d like to be your papa, but you cannot forget that you’re the Earl of Mildenhall, that your . . . father was Lord Edmond.”

Though it nearly choked Falcon to say it, those words had to be said. Mildenhall belonged to Robbie, and should the truth about the boy’s father reach the king, it would prove disastrous for the boy. Robbie’s future depended on remaining the unchallenged heir of Lord Edmond of Mildenhall. One day, Falcon would tell Robbie the truth, but not until he was old enough to understand.

Robbie remained silent for a long time, and then his face lit up. “I know all that, Falcon, but my real papa is dead.” His little body stiffened with self-importance. “I am the Earl of Mildenhall. If I say I want you for my papa, you have to do as I say because you are merely a knight.”

Falcon suppressed the desire to laugh at Robbie’s royal manner. The lad would make a fine earl, and an even finer son.

“I will try to live up to your high expectations, Robbie.
Go find Becca. Tell her to dress you in your finest attire so you can make your mama proud at her wedding.”

Mariah felt no nervousness as she walked with Robbie through the deserted hall to her wedding. She felt as if her marriage to Falcon had been preordained. She had even decided to wear the same wedding gown in which she had wed Edmond, because she knew Edmond would approve.

She glanced down at her son. Robbie was happier than she’d ever seen him. She’d been a little disappointed when she learned that Falcon had told him about their marriage, but she supposed he deserved the honor since he’d been denied nearly five years of his son’s life.