Consequences (37 page)

“I am so sorry for what I said, Lizzy,” she said at last. “I cannot understand what happened to me to say such harsh things! Please forgive me.”

“Of course, I forgive you, Jane, but only for your anger as you spoke,” responded Elizabeth quietly, returning her sister’s embrace. “There is no apology to be made for what you said, for you were entirely right. In fact,” she said, drawing apart from Jane to hold her by her shoulders, “I want to thank you for being so honest with me. It is not your usual manner, but I am thankful you loved me enough to admonish me.”

“But what I said was all wrong!” wailed Jane.

“No, you were correct,” said Elizabeth firmly. “The fault was mine, and the truth is that I was being more flippant and clever than I was being serious. What I said was not my actual intention, or perhaps I should say, it was not my
whole
intention!”

Elizabeth pulled Jane down to sit beside her on one of the beds. “What you have to understand, Jane, is how confused I have been and still am with regard to Mr. Darcy. When he expresses his love for me and speaks so amiably with my uncle, I find him quite praiseworthy. When I remember his pride and his haughty manners in Hertfordshire, I think him arrogant and proud. But when I remember what Charlotte said, that he is not at his best in company and seems incredibly inarticulate when he most wants to say something, I begin to think I have misjudged him. But when I remember how he treated Mr. Wickham, I am inflamed by his arrogance and cruelty. But, then I actually meet his sister and find she is not proud at all, nothing like Mr. Wickham described her, and I am completely confused. Do you not start to see, Jane? I have agreed to marry this man for reasons of prudence, yet I do not really know who I am to marry.”

Jane nodded her head and embraced Elizabeth once more.

“But you are entirely correct for taking me to task, Jane, and I truly mean that. If I say such sarcastic and thoughtless words, even in confidence to my beloved sister who would die before she ever repeated them, it could still influence my behaviour, and that could be disastrous for my future with Mr. Darcy. I have told myself I must discipline myself, but I keep reverting to my former behaviour. That. Will. Not. Do!”

Elizabeth returned Jane’s embrace and then looked her in the eye. “It will not do, Jane. Not at all. From this moment on, I am
determined
to put the cold calculations I mentioned behind me. Yes, they were a part of my decision, but the warmth Mr. Darcy showed was also part of it. I
will
become myself again. I am not a morbid person, and I will not engage in sad or pessimistic reflections. I shall put those aside forever. If Mr. Darcy is able to charm the Gardiner household, then I am determined I shall charm the Darcy household!”

Both girls laughed at the bold theatrics of Elizabeth’s vow, and they embraced again. When they released each other, Elizabeth cast a sharp eye over at her sister.

“Jane, dearest, I have a question to ask you about what you were going to say when you suddenly left the room. If I were not talking to my dearest sister, who always sees nothing but good in others, I might have almost thought you were going to say you were never going to speak to me again!”

Jane only smiled serenely at Elizabeth. “Oh, you know that I never could have said such a thing, Lizzy.”

Then, with merriment dancing in her eyes, Jane said, “Though I will admit, it is just possible I might have
almost
said it!”

Both sisters laughed at Jane’s jest and exchanged a quick embrace before Elizabeth finished dressing.

***

When Elizabeth came downstairs, she could no longer evade the curiosity of her aunt and her uncle. With gleams in their eyes, they seated her on the couch across from them and demanded the satisfaction of their curiosity. Elizabeth could feel the undercurrent of worry in their questions, and the recitation of her story to them differed from the one she had previously related to Jane by the omission of certain elements and the emphasis she placed on different aspects of it in order to assuage their worry. While she recognized the financial advantages incumbent upon marrying well, in that it offered security for her mother and sisters, she laid more stress on the gratification she had felt at being singled out by Mr. Darcy and the mortification she felt at having believed he despised her when his actual opinion was the complete opposite. By being willing to cast doubt on her abilities as a judge of character, she was able to provide a possible explanation for the reason she might have been in error in her judgment of him.

Further, while she noted, in great detail, her vast surprise occasioned by the declaration of his feelings, she completely omitted the manner in which he slighted her family in his actual proposal. She mentioned Mr. Darcy’s worry that the clumsiness of his declarations might have made her decide against him and secured her aunt and uncle’s silence on the subject, but she did not reveal how greatly tempted she had been to do just what Darcy had feared. In response to a question from her aunt regarding Mr. Darcy’s offenses against Mr. Wickham, she admitted this was a subject they had not yet discussed. And when her aunt wondered how she could have accepted Mr. Darcy with that question unresolved, she told of how Charlotte pointed out her own dislike and distrust of Mr. Wickham, especially the way in which he most improperly defamed Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth on their first introduction. In addition, she acknowledged an imperative element only lately come to light: Something was definitely awry regarding Wickham’s description of Miss Darcy, for the girl was obviously not, and likely never had been, ‘excessively proud.’ By the end, her aunt and uncle were satisfied their niece had weighed the advantages and disadvantages in a sensible manner and accordingly made her decision based on those considerations.

Having put the worry of her aunt and uncle to rest, the conversation moved to other topics until the arrival of Mr. Darcy and his sister was announced. Elizabeth was conscious of Jane’s gaze, and she lost no time in embarking on her avowed intentions with respect to her future husband. She did not sit and wait for Mr. Darcy to attend her—instead, she crossed the room to greet him and his sister warmly. Turning back toward the room, she linked her arms with theirs and guided them toward a corner of the room.

“I understand everyone else has been talking with Mr. Darcy and his sister the past week while I have been attending my esteemed cousins in Kent,” she announced, “so everyone must wait while I enjoy some private conversation of my own.” She indicated a comfortable chair for Georgiana, and she sat at one end of the couch across from it while Mr. Darcy sat beside her.

She was conscious of Mr. Darcy’s surprised gaze on her, so she met his question with a raised eyebrow. “You said my liveliness attracted you, sir, so I hope I have not shocked you and your sister by being too forward?”

“Certainly not on my part, though my sister shall have to answer for herself,” replied Darcy, a smile replacing his considering look as he saw that Elizabeth was deliberately trying to put him at ease.

Georgiana blushed as Elizabeth turned her eyes on her, and she could only manage a meek, “No, Miss Elizabeth.”

“I hope not, Miss Darcy, for I have often made sportive comments at your brother’s expense. But come, we must bring this ‘Miss Darcy’ and ‘Miss Elizabeth’ ritual to a halt.” She leaned forward and took Georgiana’s hand, continuing, “If we are to be sisters, you must call me Elizabeth or Lizzy or Eliza—my friends and my family use the names almost interchangeably. But what about you? Shall I call you Georgiana? Or do you have another name you prefer?”

Georgiana blushed even more at Elizabeth’s comments, but she was inwardly pleased that this new and still rather unknown young lady who was going to marry her brother appeared to want the kind of intimate relationship she so desperately desired for herself.

“Georgiana is what my family calls me,” she responded softly, “but my cousin Richard often teases me and calls me Georgie.”

“Then Georgie it shall be, for I am not nearly as serious a person as your brother,” said Elizabeth with a smile, pleased at having drawn the longest speech so far from Darcy’s sister.

“But the same goes for you, Mr. Darcy,” she continued, turning to look at Darcy. “If I am calling your sister Georgie, how shall I refer to my husband? If you insist on ‘Mr. Darcy’ and ‘Mrs. Darcy,’ I shall grudgingly accede—but only for the moment. I warn you, sir, I will not be above using my wiles and other wifely stratagems to find a way to convince you to change your mind! While my mother and my father still call each other ‘Mrs. Bennet’ and ‘Mr. Bennet,’ I shall strive mightily to avoid that degree of formality.”

While Georgiana looked rather alarmed at Elizabeth’s playful conversation, Darcy only smiled at both of them. “You may save your wifely stratagems until we are safely married . . . Elizabeth!” he responded calmly. “In my case, I think ‘William’ would do best. All of my friends call me Darcy or Darce, even my cousin Fitzwilliam. Only Georgiana calls me William.”

Elizabeth cocked her head at Darcy, looking at him critically for a few seconds before nodding. “You do indeed look like a ‘William.’ There, that is settled. Now, what else shall we discuss? I understand you had a most interesting visit to Longbourn. My mother, especially, appears to have been most affected by your visit.”

“I daresay,” said Darcy dryly, “since she could not utter a word until after I left. But I came away with a new appreciation for your father’s capabilities, though he was quite distressed with my taking you away and leaving him alone with a house of females.”

“I have no brothers, Georgie, just four sisters, and Papa often feels rather overwhelmed by the six-to-one odds,” Elizabeth told Georgiana in an aside.

“And I understand you and Papa have settled on a date for the wedding, William,” she continued. “May twenty-third, I understand. Less than five weeks away.”

“It was your father’s suggestion,” Darcy said hurriedly, thinking that Elizabeth might have expected to be consulted. “If the date is not to your taste, however—”

“No, no, William, just the opposite. I was preparing to give my thanks, for my mother would dearly love to spend
months
in preparation, and your quick thinking has spared me.

Mrs. Gardiner interjected from the couch behind Georgiana, “In my experience, once his proposal has been accepted, many young grooms are often very anxious to be married as soon as possible. I have sometimes seen weddings take place within two or three weeks after the proposal. That is for the most anxious grooms, you understand.”

Mrs. Gardiner’s comments had been delivered in a perfectly casual tone, but the way in which Darcy flushed showed he clearly understood her humorous reference to the desire of many grooms, once their suit was successful, to take his wife to his bed as soon as might be. Certainly, such were Darcy’s fervent wishes, and his high colour was testimony of the way so many elements of human society were continually repeated down the stream of time.

Elizabeth noted Darcy’s blush, and, though untutored in many things, she came from the country, where such natural desires were not camouflaged as they were in so many parts of “refined” society. She was perfectly agreeable to his wishes, for, unlike her mother, she had a natural curiosity about the intimacies of marriage. In fact, though she was innocent according to the times, she was not naïve in regards to the mating act itself since she had, over the years, seen numerous examples of mating among the variety of animals on the estates and farms in the neighbourhood. Still, the thought of the wedding night certainly sent a tingle down her spine . . .

Darcy was glad dinner was announced, for Elizabeth’s considering looks unnerved him. She obviously comprehended and was not offended by her aunt’s comment, and the way she looked at him made it clear she understood what was on his mind. And the fact that the thought clearly did not trouble her—indeed appeared to interest her—was having the expected result, so he was both pleased to stand up and
especially
pleased that he was wearing trousers and not breeches . . .

Later, when seated at the dinner table, Darcy was anxious to avoid a return to the same topic, so he said, “I have received an express from Bingley, offering his congratulation to both of us, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth saw Jane check herself at the mention of the name, but Darcy continued, “I asked him to stand up with me at the wedding and informed him of the date, and he was most excited and was quick to agree. In fact, he stated he was very much looking forward to renewing his acquaintance with the neighbourhood and especially the Bennet family.”

Elizabeth saw Jane mechanically begin to spoon her soup in order to cover up her discomfiture, especially in light of what Elizabeth said upstairs, regarding her being in company with Bingley.

“Moreover,” Darcy continued, “Bingley said he has already been making arrangements to return to Netherfield and has sent a message to prepare the house. He offered to host both Georgiana and myself, so we can stay there until the wedding.”

Elizabeth was now convinced there was a hidden message in what Darcy was saying.

Does he know I learned of his interference?
she thought.
It is likely Colonel Fitzwilliam told him. Is he trying to make amends? I cannot tell, but something is going on behind those dark eyes!