Contemporary Women's Fiction: Agnes Hopper Shakes Up Sweetbriar (Humorous Women's Fiction) (30 page)

“I intend to show—” Her voice squeaked so she coughed and started again. “Mrs. Hopper has been a troublemaker from the very beginning.”

Rumblings of protest sounded.

“Hold on, people. Let me state my case.”

“Excellent idea,” said a voice from the doorway. Sheriff Cawood was leaning on the door frame, hat in hand. He took a seat near William and Lil. “Go ahead, Miss Johnson. I apologize for being late. Town council meeting.”

Smiley grinned so big, I knew he had to be the one who had called the sheriff and somehow convinced him to come.

Prissy continued, her face pinched, voice low. “No need. As I was saying—”

“Speak up,” Lil barked. “Can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

“I was
saying
,” the woman shot back, “that Mrs. Hopper has no business living here. Why, if the head office in Tennessee knew all the rules that woman has broken, they’d … well, never mind, I decided to handle this myself.”

Just then, Jack sauntered into the room—not too quietly either, partly because of his limp and partly because of his cowboy boots. He must have finished his deliveries and showered, because his long hair was still dripping water, and he wore a clean tee shirt.

“Oh my,” Lil said nervously. “Would you look at that?”

William scowled and chewed his cigar with vigor.

Jack pulled a chair close to Shirl and rested his hat on the table. “Got here soon as I could. Did I miss anythin’?”

Shirl beamed at him and shook her blonde head.

Everyone seemed in a trance as they watched Jack—everyone except our director. When she banged a spoon on a glass of iced tea, I nearly jumped out of my skin. When she started talking again, I hoped William had enough tape to get it all.

“To begin with, Mrs. Hopper never signed her complete name to these papers to prove she had read our rules and would abide by them. That was an oversight on my part, but she should not have been allowed to spend one night here without a full signature.”

“Are you serious? Is that all?” Henry asked.

“Not by a long shot.”

“Go on,” the sheriff said.

She smiled a tight smile and shot him a nervous glance. “I know of at least five rules that woman broke, any one of which would authorize me to send her packing. She probably broke a dozen I don’t even know about.”

“Stick to the facts. I don’t have all day,” the sheriff said.

“Of course.” She coughed again. “One and two: Mrs. Hopper left the premises twice—that I know of—without signing out properly. Sheriff, one time you brought her back yourself.”

He nodded.

“Three: She entertained a man, Mr. Abenda, in her room—something I cannot tolerate.”

Betty Jo and Henry looked at me in shock.

Francesca mouthed,
Sorry
.

“Four: This woman slipped into another resident’s room to drink alcohol.”

A gasp went up from Betty Jo.

“Five: She snuck alcohol, candy, cigars, and Vick’s Salve onto said premises and hid them in her room. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with someone who can’t or won’t follow the rules. Before she came here, we had a nice, quiet place. That’s all I have to say.”

She refilled her glass with tea and sat in the nearest chair. Her shoulder pads trembled underneath her blouse, and her hand jerked as she gulped her drink, but she almost had a smirk on her face. She apparently thought I was done-for, everything over but the shouting.

Henry looked at me with an odd expression and a cheesy grin. “Mother Hopper, you have certainly been a busy lady.”

Sheriff Cawood looked around the room. “Who’s next?”

My knees felt wobbly as I stood and gripped the table to steady my
hands. I picked up my notebook, but most of what I had to say came straight from my heart.

“First of all, let me say I’m deeply sorry for breaking some of the rules. I understand that a place like this has to have them in order to run smoothly.”

“My thinking exactly,” the sheriff said.

I nearly froze in fear. Was he here to take her side? I glanced at the woman my friends and I were trying to take down. She was sitting up straight, shoulders squared. Her face held a wide, self-satisfied grin.

The sheriff took out a pocketknife and set about cleaning his fingernails. Before he totally lost interest, I jumped back in.

“However, I’m not sorry for coming here. Why, my life out on the farm without my Charlie was nothing but dull and lonesome, only I didn’t know it. He told me I would make a passel of new friends and he was right.” I looked at Smiley. “Good friends are like family you meet along the way. That’s one of Alice’s sayings, and she was right.”

The sheriff shut his knife with a snap.

If he reaches for his hat, I’m done for.
But he seemed to be in no hurry.

“Miss Johnson has listed her grievances against me. Now it’s time to tell what we
people
of Sweetbriar Manor have determined that
she
ought to be held accountable for. Some of her actions don’t square with the Ten Commandments; some don’t even measure up to human morality.”

I stopped to gulp some tea. All eyes were on me. The accused squirmed like a child with ants in her pants. The sheriff took out a notepad and started scribbling. Betty Jo appeared to be holding her breath, but Smiley and the rest of the gang? They were the ones grinning now, all over themselves.

I named the people, one by one, and told either things they had revealed to me or things I had observed for myself, beginning with Pearl.

“Pearl’s soul is as fragile as a butterfly. She lives in fear of being tied to her bed at night if she’s not
good
. She’s an artist, but has little money left to buy any supplies because her rent money has doubled since she came here a few months ago. Why? Because this woman in charge thought she could get away with it. She’s a bully at the very least.”

Betty Jo gasped, her face white as cotton. Miss Johnson looked ill enough to have a stroke. The sheriff scribbled like mad. I guess he didn’t trust William’s tape recorder.

“And then there’s Alice. We’re speaking for her since she can’t speak for herself, and she was afraid to when she could. Why? Because she was an alcoholic. Miss Johnson forced her to go cold turkey as soon as she moved in. Alice hoarded tiny sleeping pills everywhere she could, because they were her only salvation—that and her writings. When we cleaned out her room, we found, among other things, an envelope with five hundred dollars cash. She had a purpose for that money, but it disappeared. William has the envelope as evidence, rescued from the recycle bin. And that’s not all. Alice had marked her money with an
A
in the bottom right-hand corner. I predict that money is still on the premises somewhere.”

The Sheriff looked up long enough to glance at Miss Johnson. Did I detect a hint of sympathy in that glance? Did he still think I didn’t have a lick of sense in my head?

But the residents of Sweetbriar Manor stared at the woman as if they had just discovered a war criminal living among us. Everyone knew she was mean and treated us with no respect, but all this was way beyond anything most of us had imagined.

Prissy tried to get control of the situation. Her face was bright red and she looked ready to erupt. She stood and slammed her hand on the table in front of her. “That’s … that’s simply not true! None of it.”

“I’m not finished,” I said. “There’s more.”

“Sit down, Miss Johnson,” the sheriff said.

She sank into her chair like a deflated balloon.

“Then there’s Lollipop. His sister brings him a new box of suckers every month. She leaves them with Miss Johnson because the residents can’t have candy in their rooms. All well and good, but he has to pay this woman every time he runs out, in order to get more.”

Gasps sounded all around the room. I don’t think anyone suspected Lollipop had to pay for his own suckers.

“There’s more,” I said, “but maybe some others would like a chance to speak.”

Hands shot up. The sheriff pointed to William.

“Lollipop’s not the only one has to pay extra for things. This place is supposed to provide basic cable and Internet service for no extra charge. Well, let’s just say this has been another way Miss Johnson has been adding to her bank account. Every month since I’ve been here, she’s upped the price and threatened to cancel the service if I refused to pay. If she did it to me, I’m sure there are others.”

By now the sheriff was chewing on his bottom lip.

When William sat, Smiley stood and looked around the room. “At first I thought Miss Johnson was a godsend, maybe even an angel. Nightmares can be a terrible thing—haunting images of the past, don’tcha know—that won’t leave you alone. You’re afraid to close your eyes at night. She gave me something to help me sleep, but after a while they didn’t help, so she gave me double. I slept, but then I started getting fuzzy-headed during the day, unsteady on my feet and feeling all shaky inside. Now I crave those pills. Can’t sleep without them. Expensive too, and the cost keeps climbing. That’s what she’s done to me.”

Smiley sat down, tears flowing down his face. I rushed over with a clean hanky since he was having trouble finding one. I gave him a hug and returned to my seat.

Betty Jo and Henry looked totally dumbfounded.

The sheriff grabbed his hat. “I believe I’ve heard enough—for now.”

“Wait.” Shirl stood and faced the sheriff. “When you’re ready to really dig into things, check the beauty shop books. I think they been cooked.”

Murmurs and mumblings rose louder and louder. Miss Johnson looked like a mouse caught in a trap.

“Hold on,” the sheriff said, trying to quiet the gathering. “Every one of you will have your say—in time. More arrests are being made now as we speak.”

More arrests? Whose?
Now he had everyone’s full attention.

“I’m not allowed to reveal everything, but I can tell you the Snoddy brothers, and their funeral home, have been under federal investigation for some time. Now we can see a link between them and the shenanigans going on here. I appreciate your help, Miss Agnes. Be ready to testify, as I’m sure all of you will be.” He turned to face the nurse. I had forgotten she was there. “And that includes you, Mrs. Taylor.”

She nodded and wiped her eyes with a tissue. “I’ll be happy to testify,” she whispered. “I was just trying to keep my job.”

Sheriff Cawood walked over to Miss Johnson, who now stood against the kitchen door with a look of stark terror on her face. He leaned toward her and lowered his voice, but we could all hear him. “You can come with me and walk out of here without giving me any trouble, or I can clamp these cuffs on you, and we’ll go out that way. It’s up to you.”

She raised her chin, gave us her most scathing look, and led the way
out of the dining room, out of Sweetbriar Manor, and down to the street where the sheriff’s cruiser waited. We all gathered on the porch and watched them go. My heart grieved for Ida Mae because her daughter had not even told her good-bye as she sat on the porch and watched her daughter be taken away.

As soon as the car doors slammed, Shirl said, “Lands sake, look at the time. I’ve got to get dinner started.” She and Jack hurried inside amid hugs and back-slapping and more hugs all around.

Betty Jo said, “Mother, thank goodness we have you a room at Sunny Side. We’ll get busy and pack your things. No need for you to stay here another night. Besides, now that there’s no one to run this place, I would imagine it will be closed soon.”

“Nope,” Smiley said before I could answer. “That was one of my phone calls. The head honchos are comin’ tomorrow. We’ll have a temporary administrator until they can find a permanent one. I didn’t know if they would believe all I had to tell ’em, but they said Sheriff Cawood had already called.”

“You mean that man believed me after all?”

“Yep, he sure enough did.”

“Well,” Betty Jo said. “Even if Sweetbriar Manor isn’t shut down, that nice retirement home in Berea is expecting you. You’re going to love it there.”

“That’s what you said about this place,” I said with a huff.

If looks could kill … I would have been dead on the spot.

“I’m not going to Sunny Dale or Sunny Slopes, or whatever it’s called.”

Now I had my daughter’s attention, and she was speechless. I jumped right in before she could gather her wits. “I’m moving, but not there. I’ve put money down on a small house not far from here. Signed a six-month lease with an option to buy.” That was stretching the truth a little, but the good Lord would surely forgive me, under the circumstances.

Betty Jo grabbed her heart and Henry’s mouth fell open. He recovered first. “Do you think that was wise, Mother Hopper?”

“That’s the most foolish thing you’ve ever done,” my daughter sputtered. “Fool hearty, foolish, and plain stupid.”

“Thank you, dear, I can always count on you to back me up.”

Her jaw dropped down, and she seemed to be at a loss for words, thank the Lord.

One look around the porch told me who was missing. She had not
come to the meeting—which I didn’t think she would—but I should have gone to get her as soon as it was over and Miss Johnson had been taken away.