Cool Down (28 page)

Just for a moment, pretend your name is Pat. Think to yourself which of the following two closures would make a greater impression on you:

Most people will be far more impressed by the second one and will be more likely to stay warm to the possibility of further involvement with you.

This topic is covered in depth in Chapter 7, so there's no need to repeat it here. In short, best impressions are made when you not only look the way you want, but when you
know
you look the way you want. Grooming and personal presentation are of paramount importance in establishing and furthering business relationships. Yet people who rush seldom get the chance to make sure they look as good as they can. Slight imperfections such as a misaligned tie or windblown hair may seem minor, while more serious imperfections such as a stain or food between the teeth can be outright embarrassing. The main point, though, is that the memory of the imperfection will last in the minds of those you meet.

A further benefit of slowing down is realized through the practiced art of delivering social satisfaction, that is, in demonstrating active listening. This concept was touched upon in Chapter 7. Active listening requires more than just appropriately timed head nods. It refers, first and foremost, to allowing your conversation partner to do most of the talking and then demonstrating you have heard and that you care about what she is saying by repeating the key facts and inserting positive commentary or questions as appropriate. Whether these social situations occur inside or outside of the work environment, every person with whom you interact will be affected by your actions and image.

Regardless of where your social interactions take place, whether inside or outside the work environment, every person you relate to is affected by your actions and image. When it comes to meeting new people, even their business card needs to be “listened to.” When handed a business card, expert networkers don't simply glance at it quickly and then pocket it. No. They use the power of
slow
. They receive the card and give it a good look-over, examining its design, the address information, and the person's name and professional designations. To use a phrase from Eastern culture, this is called giving “face.”

Such prolonged attention to a small piece of cardstock? It may seem strange to the uninitiated and certainly seems to have no place in a time-pressed business world. However, when giving a card
face
, you're not really giving your prolonged attention to the card; you're giving attention to the person whom the card represents. Face is a gift of legitimacy. It recognizes the hard work and effort the owner of the card is putting into her career, and it telegraphs to her that, yes, you care about her effort. That's what the card-reading activity does, and that's why active listening is so important and so profitable. People need to feel they are important and to know they are important—two different concepts. They need to receive the message that the time they spend in the company of another person is valued and that they are being taken seriously.

The old expression “you never get a second chance to make a first impression” may be true, but there is an addendum to that rule: You always get a chance to make a last impression. In psychology there is a concept called the mental “law of primacy,” which states that when given a line of faces or a list of objects, most people remember the first face or object more vividly than the rest. But this law is complemented by the “law of recency,” which states that people are also very good at remembering the last in a list of items. Both are possible simultaneously within the same person, which means that the faces or items in the middle of a line or group tend to fade the fastest. This is important to remember when choosing your place in a receiving line at a corporate function. Aim for the beginning or the end, never the middle, if you want to be remembered. It's also why receptionists are (or should be) counted among the most important people in any organization. The receptionist is the first person a visitor encounters (primacy), and she is also the last person a visitor deals with upon leaving (recency). The receptionist's greeting and tone of voice, her “thank-you,” and overall demeanor leave a mark that will be remembered as part of the overall emotional impression of a company or organization.

In the business of networking and career management, this is yet another avenue where the power of
slow
pays off big time. Consider the following items; together they form a closing sequence that ensures ongoing benefit to the person who slows down enough to use them:

So there. We have just described five powerful ways of making an impact on people in any social situation. These activities are all dividends that come from slowing down enough to be a) aware of and b) capable of exploiting the positive elements of human interaction. People need to feel they are important. They need to receive the message that they are valued and that they are being taken seriously. They will open the door to your next opportunity, whether they themselves become a buyer of your services, a supplier of wisdom, or a conveyer of your positive reputation to others.

The reasons for these techniques—remembering, listening, closing, and following up—is not to be nice for the sake of being nice, but to market, to develop, and to leverage your personal brand in order to build an insurance policy for career furtherance or career salvation. Jobs don't last. Companies don't last. But mortgages, payments, and bills do. If you're too busy right now to
cool down
and touch base with someone, keeping their name alive in your system and your name alive in theirs, then you really do risk erasing part of your own future.

It is extremely rare for a company to be able to guarantee job security, and why should they when the nature of business, of work, and of consumer demands change so fast? And when the marketplace changes so fast, it only makes sense that we, as active participants in it, do the same.

There was also a time when higher education meant investing three or four years or more of full-time study at a college or university before starting a career. Thankfully, there are now other options. Lifelong learning offered through online classes means that anyone with access to a computer and the Internet can further his academic and vocational skills, and consequently his professional destiny, one course at a time. This is yet another demonstration of how the benefits of the
slow
movement can pay off.

One of the projects my company has undertaken and continued with over the years has to do with getting permission for staff members to take courses during company time. All the Internet access in the world won't help if the prevailing attitude from management is “Don't let it interfere with your duties.” I've worked with nurses, advertising people, accountants, and assistants, all of whom say, “I can't focus on my studies when I'm being called away all the time.”

So I stand firm on the following three points:

How many hours per week are required for an employee to take a course? I suggest three hours a week of focused reading time or online lab time. Is it possible for three hours to be squeezed out of a busy 40-or 50-hour workweek? The answer is “yes,” based on the principles of Parkinson's Law outlined in Chapter 1. The very nature of humans at work means that distractions, false urgencies, and the general sense of busy-ness already described tend to fill the time available. Finally, three hours can successfully be found and carved out of a workweek, if both the employee and her manager can agree that:

This last point integrates the principles of
slow
described throughout this book. If the employee were to try by herself to find the time to study, she would be beset with interruptions, resistance, and guilt. But
together
, as manager and employee, schedules and tasks can be reviewed, and permission can be granted. Twenty emails that up until now might have taken an hour to respond to, might just as easily and completely be dealt with in half-an-hour, when the motivation and permission are in place.

That's the type of thing that
slow
can do. It finds space where there seemingly was none before. How? Not by working faster, but by taking the time to think, communicate, plan, and refine. By perceiving and then avoiding the pull of Parkinson's Law, you can ensure time is put aside for study during the day—on company time where it belongs.

Let me tell you another story. As part of my own mentoring involvement, I had lunch with a young law student. She was preparing to graduate and wished to develop her good work habits early as an inoculation against the heavy workloads she knew would be facing her as a junior lawyer. True to my views on the mutual benefits derived from mentoring, during lunch she told
me
a wonderful story. She had just dined recently with a prominent criminal lawyer, someone well known on the national legal stage as a figurehead who fought precedent-setting cases in which plenty of media exposure was assured. He was nearing 65 and was successful both professionally and financially. When the young student asked him for advice, however, he simply said, “I can teach you nothing.” When she asked him to elaborate, he admitted that although his practice was a success, it had come at the cost of not knowing his family, his children, and grandchildren; of missing ball games, recitals, graduations, even anniversaries because of his consistently heavy case load and a desire to work all-out, all the time. Though he had enjoyed a great legal career, he had not had a life.