Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (34 page)

(R
EVELATION
12:10).

Do you remember falling down and scraping your knee as a child? Did you run to your mother for her to pick you up and kiss the hurt away? Miraculously, it always worked! You felt good again and ran back out to play. The same is true when we take our bruised and broken lives to God: He forgives and forgets, and it always works! And when we trust Him, He takes away all the guilt.
⁸

“When Jesus saw their faith, he said, ‘Friend, your sins are forgiven’”

(L
UKE
5:20).

Don’t stay stuck in the ditch of guilt. Take the following eight steps toward the Road to Transformation, where Christlike maturity will help you bring all your guilt to a forgiving God.

Here is what we need to know about being F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N:

F
Find the source of your guilt.

— Examine why you feel guilty.

— Determine if your guilt is true or false.

— Use Scripture as the only standard for determining true guilt.

“You desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place”

(P
SALM
51:6).

O
Own responsibility for your sin.

— Agree with God you are guilty of sinning.

— Ask God to reveal your personal sin patterns.

— Make restitution to those against whom you have sinned.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”

(1 J
OHN
1:9).

R
Realize God means what He says.

— Thank God for the gift of His Son, who paid for your forgiveness.

— Thank God for His unending forgiveness, even if you don’t feel forgiven.

— Choose to believe what God says.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins”

(E
PHESIANS
1:7).

G
Give up dwelling on the past.

— Give up holding on to past pain.

— Give up self-condemnation.

— Give up refusing to forgive others.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past”

(I
SAIAH
43:18).

I
Invest time in renewing your mind.

— Memorize scriptures that reinforce God’s forgiveness.

— Remember that in Christ, you are “a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

— Learn to see yourself as a valuable child of God.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life…to be made new in the attitude of your minds”

(E
PHESIANS
4:22-23).

V
Verify truth when Satan accuses.

— Learn to discern the difference between the Holy Spirit’s voice and that of Satan.

— Answer Satan’s accusations with truth from Scripture.

— Verbalize a personal prayer receiving God’s forgiveness.

“‘No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the L
ORD
, and this is their vindication from me,’ declares the L
ORD
”

(I
SAIAH
54:17).

E
Exchange your life for the life of Christ.

— Understand you cannot live the Christian life in your own strength.

— Allow Christ to transform you and live out His character through you.

— Continue to nurture the Holy Spirit’s presence through personal prayer and Bible study.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”

(G
ALATIANS
2:20).

N
Notice God brings your feelings in line with the facts when you obey Him.

— Know that God is a God of second chances!

— Know that your feelings won’t change immediately.

— Know that feelings usually follow thinking.

“Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the L
ORD
does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit”

(P
SALM
32:1-2).

Dear heavenly Father,

Please give me the discernment to know when I’m feeling false guilt instead of true guilt.

I ask that Your Spirit convict me when I’m headed the wrong way so that I will get on the right path. I also pray that I will always be sensitive to the convicting touch of the Holy Spirit’s hand. Thank You that I’m forgiven and set free.

In Your holy name I pray. Amen.

Guilt covertly constructs a self-imposed prison when granted residence in your life.

—JH

Proverbs 20:9

Ezra 9:13

Isaiah 64:6; 53:6

Proverbs 28:13

Psalm 32:5

Isaiah 6:7

Acts 24:16

Hebrews 10:22

Romans 8:1

For additional guidance on this topic, see also
Depression, Fear, Forgiveness, Hope, Identity, Reconciliation, Salvation, Self-worth, Suicide Prevention, Worry
.

I
nterestingly, in most dictionaries, the first definition for the word
habit
reveals it to be “a type of clothing characteristic of a certain calling.” Eventually a habit came to be “a pattern of behavior acquired by frequent repetition that reflects the prevailing character of a person.”
¹
The Bible is interwoven with the same concept: Your habits characterize your character. If you are a Christian, you are called to be clothed in the
habit
of Christ so that your character actually reflects His character—pure and unblemished.

“Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature”

(R
OMANS
13:14).

All habits…

— occur with regularity.

— happen without thinking.

— reflect inner morals.

— tend to grow stronger and more ingrained over time.

— persist and become hard to change.

— provide some degree of pleasure.

“No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money”

(L
UKE
16:13).

If any of the following statements are true, your habit has mastery over you:

— My thoughts are consumed with it.

— My time is scheduled around it.

— My health could be harmed by it.

— My guilt increases following it.

— My finances are affected by it.

— I am defensive when asked about it.

— My relationships are hurt by it.

— I am upset when I can’t do it.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart…See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”

(P
SALM
139:23-24).

Misguided choices
—Choosing to escape from painful emotions and circumstances in an attempt to avoid the harsh realities of life.

Misplaced dependencies
—Attempting to meet your God-given emotional needs for love, significance, and security through unhealthy dependencies on people, things, or activities.
²

Misaligned beliefs
—Telling yourself, “This makes me feel better and, besides, I deserve it.”
³
Or, “It’s useless to try to change or quit.”

Choosing
to meet the harsh realities of life head-on by processing painful emotions and circumstances.

Depending
on the Lord to meet your needs for love, significance, and security.

Believing
you can take responsibility for your behavior because you have the Spirit of Christ living in you to help you.

Much of a habit’s power rests in your belief that you are “on your own” during times of temptation. However, if you are a Christian, you are
never
alone. You have “Christ in you” (Colossians 1:27) to win the victory through you.
⁴
The Bible says you are “united” with Christ, that you are “one with him.” This means if you yield to temptation to be pulled down by a negative habit, you pull down Christ with you! Likewise, if you yield to Christ, He will pull you up above the temptation and be glorified within you. This understanding can be a life-changing motivator for you to reconsider your choices!