Cowboy Ending - Overdrive: Book One (28 page)

Scrubbing my
eyes again I made a wave to the restaurant in apology and waited
for them to turn away, muttering things about me under their
breath.

Whatever.

“Sorry. I’m
under a bit of … Fuck it. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that.”

Tamara glanced
around the room as well, smiling apologetically before turning back
to me. Her face openly strained and concerned.

“Clearly,” she said, but her eyes let me off the hook for my
assholishness. Her voice was soft. Soothing. Trying to soothe a
savage beast? My stomach curdled, ashamed of myself for lashing out
at her. “You
have
been through
a lot. It’s no surprise you’re feeling this way.”

I snorted
dismissively.

She
leveled a finger at me, no longer a joking admonishment.
“You
have
been through a lot,
Joe. Some of the things you’ve dealt with, a lot of people would
assume you were crazy with what you’re saying. Would tell you
you’re imagining things. On some kind of post near-death experience
high. Believing you were invincible.”

“Is that what I
am doing, Tamara?” I asked, my eyes burrowing into hers. Motioning
towards her clipboard with my chin. “You watched me in the weight
pit. You took the notes. Am I hallucinating?”

Tamara blinked
at me for a long moment from behind her glasses. Her gaze going to
her clipboard. Then over her shoulder to the OPEN sign that was
blacked out and powerless.

“This is
unbelievable,” she whispered.

Chapter
24

“So,” Tamara
asked as we walked. “What are you going to do?”

I blinked at
her and readjusted my gym bag more comfortably over my
shoulder.

“Huh?”

We were walking
back through the mall towards the gym. Tamara had a Zumba class to
teach and it seemed only gentlemanly of me to walk her back to work
after the whole crying in public episode.

Never gonna
live that one down.

“Yeah,” she
said peering up at me hesitantly. “What are you going to do?”

“Hard to
say,” I said with a faint shrug. My stomach was gurgling
contentedly as we walked. Temporarily full but already I knew that
I was going to have to get dinner started shortly after I got home.
I had expended a
lot
of effort
at the gym. “I figure I’ve still got at least a week or so before
the doc’ll declare me fit for work and revoke my insurance. So I
guess I’ll get a week to relax with Mom, hit the gym and stay out
of trouble.”

Tamara stopped
and grabbed me, her tiny fingers barely getting halfway around my
forearm. “You’re kidding right?”

“As often as
possible, yeah.”

She
stared up at me, eyes wide behind her glasses. “You’re just going
to go on with your life. Business as usual?”

I shrugged
again, this time more self-consciously. “Well… yeah. Why shouldn’t
I?”

Tamara
continued to stare. Incredulous.

I started to
get uncomfortable as we stood there in the middle of the busy mall
walkway.

“Don’t you
think,” Tamara began before remembering we were in public and
quickly lowering her voice. “I mean, don’t you think you should
find help? Find someone who can help you understand what’s going on
with you? With your body?”

“Why would I
want to do that?” I asked her in return, looking over her head at
the business people and downtown derelicts wandering past and
minding their own business. “For real. This shit is strange for
sure, but I have responsibilities. Mom needs me to be there for
her. To be strong for her. I can’t let recent craziness upset her
any more than it already has.”

Her face
softened, understanding sinking in. “I get that, Joe. I really do.”
She shook her head and started walking again, her hand still on my
arm leading me along. I didn’t mention anything about it. Tamara
sighed softly. “This is just so weird. Seems like there’s something
you should do. Some place you could go to ask questions.”

I snorted.
“More like places to go where I’d get in trouble. I’ve seen the
X-Files. I know how that stuff works.”

Tamara
laughed lightly. “That’s just a TV show, real life isn’t that
confusing. Besides, you’re not an alien.” She paused in thought,
sneaking a glance up at me. “You’re
not
an alien, right?”

“As far as I
know I was born in this country.” I let my expression go vaguely
wistful, lost in thought. “Though there was that green crystal my
father buried in our storm cellar and never told me about.”

Silence.

“What?”
Tamara’s expression was clearly befuddled.

“Really?”

“Is that from a
movie?”

“I weep for
future generations.” I muttered.

We walked in
silence for a bit. As we ascended the stairs to the second floor
she asked, “You’re coming in tomorrow?”

“Not sure,” I
lied with a shrug. My week was wide open and I had no reason not to
come back. Yes, my commitment issues run so deep I am afraid to
confirm workout schedules. “I might wake up tomorrow a big pile of
agony after all that training.”
“I’d be surprised if you weren’t” she said with a laugh. “In fact I
hope you are.”

I chose to
ignore that. “Plus paying for parking is a bitch. I don’t wanna do
that every day.”

She was silent
for a moment. “I’ve got a parking pass for the lot you can use
whenever you want to work out.”
“Where are you going to park?”
“Joe, I live four blocks away.” Tamara’s eyebrow quirked up at me.
“You knew that.”

I shook my
head. “I really didn’t. Not a stalker.”

“Too bad,
‘cause that would be awesome.” She parroted back to me with a
smile.

I gave her my
small smile in return and ignored her teasing expression. “More to
the point, why would you give me your parking pass?”

She showed me
her clipboard as we passed the fountain display where business
types liked to take their lunches and headed down towards the YMCA
entranceway.

“Someone’s got
to keep an eye on you. See how things are progressing.” Her eyes
twinkled behind the librarian glasses again. “You did ask me to
check you out, after all.”

I flushed
lightly. “I suppose I did at that.”

We started down
the YMCA hallway, ahead of me I could hear music from an aerobics
class faintly echoing back at us.

“Should I get
my pass for you?”

“Might as well.
Thanks.”

“No
worries.”

We rounded the
last corner to the YMCA lobby and the hand on my arm pulled me up
short. Subconsciously I noted that this is where I’d run into
Tamara last week, just after blowing up the treadmill. Where she’d
given me a hug I could still feel that evening when I was relaxing
at home.

A rare moment
of emotional weakness for me. So naturally I tried to “man it
out.”

I peered
down at her questioningly, my poker face at full power. “Don’t you
have a class?”

“I have a few
minutes still. I just …” Tamara tilted her head from side to side
in a little bobbing motion. Her smile was tentative. Nervous?

“What is it?
Did I weird you out today? Make things …” I trailed off
self-consciously, not wanting to think about what I’d done. What
I’d confided to her.

“You
trusted me.” She said, very quietly. That smile on that pert little
mouth was curious. Almost inviting. “I never thought you would do
that. That you
could
do
that.”

It was getting
very warm for some reason.

“Well, you said
I could.” My throat needed clearing for some reason. My small smile
was out again, but it was different. Just for her. “Don’t make me
regret it.”

She
blinked, her fingers tightening on my arm. Her free hand thumping
me lightly on the shoulder. “Why would you say that? I would
never.”

“Some things
need to be said is all. And some things don’t.” I leaned in a bit
closer, keeping my voice low. “I just like my privacy.”

“Which is why
you let yourself be interviewed on TV I suppose?”

Touché.

“That was a
favor to a friend. Besides, my name and face were kept out of
…”
“I’m kidding. And don’t worry, this’ll stay between us.” Tamara’s
smile turned slightly wicked. “Besides. Who’d believe me?”

Relief filled
my belly though I hadn’t been aware of holding any tension. Though
logically I must’ve been and who could blame me. I never open up to
anyone about what I feel like for lunch never mind anything truly
personal. Or potentially dangerous. Despite my own general distrust
of all folks not named “Joe Donovan”, I knew I could trust Tamara.
We hadn’t really been friends all that long but there was just a
quality about her I found so endearing. Her earnest demeanor, her
friendly and caring way was just so inviting. You knew she
genuinely cared about what you said and how you felt. That’s more
rare than you think.

Plus. She’s
hot. The kind of hot that dumb men do stupid things for.

Not that I’m a
dumb man.

Typically.

And no I didn’t
tell her this to try and get in her pants.

I took a deep,
relieved breath and let it out slowly. “Thank you. That makes me
feel better.”

“What
does.”

“You know.
Being able to …” My hand made a lost, grasping at straws
motion.

“Talk?”

My
fingers snapped loudly. “Yeah. Feels good to
talk.”

Tamara laughed
softly.

“Well I’m glad
to help. Though I am a bit surprised.”

“About
what?”

Tamara’s face
flushed slightly. “I just … Well, I figured since he was your
friend that you’d want to talk to …” She blinked in surprise, her
eyes tracking past my shoulder. “Mark?”

My gaze
followed hers behind me. Mark was there looking disgruntled and
aggravated as he came into the hallway. Suddenly feeling guilty I
reflexed, pivoting my body back and away from Tamara’s to create
some distance. Her hand released my arm instantly, her flush
increasing slightly though for a different reason.

I hate having a
guilty conscience. Especially when I’ve done nothing wrong.

Sure, I’d
thought about it. A lot. But actually
done
anything?

“Hey guys,”
Mark grumbled as he caught up to us, a gym bag was slung over one
shoulder. A pair of beige chinos and a dark, rumpled polo shirt
accompanied his dark black loafers.

When in doubt,
be a prick.

“What’s with
the business casual? I barely recognize you.”

Mark shot me a
glare. “What, a guy can’t have a day job?”

True
enough.

“What’s wrong?”
Tamara asked, stepping up to Mark. Her hand now rubbing his arm
gently. I ignored the spike of idiocy from the Neanderthal in my
belly when I saw that. So what if my own arm was still warm from
her hand?

Mark’s face
twisted. “I’m gonna have to bug Aaron and see if I can do any extra
work around the club for a bit.” He met my gaze wryly. “Turns out
you are the only bouncer between us with a day job at the
moment.”

Shit.

“Dude, I’m
sorry.”
“Are you all right?”
Tamara stepped forward into a hug for Mark as he grimaced up at me,
his free arm circling her body with his hand resting just above her
ass. Comfortably resting just above her ass. Dammit, Joe. Stop
being an idiot, this was going to happen.

“Yeah, I’m
fine. Comes at a shitty time is all.” He shrugged and gave a small
laugh. “Not that there’s really a good time to get fired, I
guess.”
“You going to be okay?” Tamara asked up at him concerned, her face
open and earnest. “I mean, when’s your rent due?”

Mark shook his
head with certainty, which was a good thing. I might’ve drilled him
right in the teeth if I’d thought for even one second that he was
going to accept money from Tamara.

“Hell no, I’m
all good.” My fist unclenched. I shook my fingers out to loosen
them. Deep inside I felt a caveman chuckle. Stupid caveman. “I got
this month covered for sure, I should have a new gig by the end of
the week I figure.”

“Well that’s
something at least.” Tamara’s phone alarm started beeping and she
jumped in surprise. “Crap, that’s my class. I have to go!” Her eyes
went from Mark’s briefly to mine, where they held for a moment, her
lips quirked in a smile only for me. “See you tomorrow?” She
asked.

I nodded.
“Sure.”

With a last
quick squeeze for Mark she disengaged herself from his arms and
bounced away down the hallway to the YMCA foyer. Mark and I watched
her go.

“For real. You
gonna be okay?” I asked him.