Cowboy Take Me Away (23 page)

“You can’t save them all,” Luke said quietly. “I know you think if you only do more, work another few hours, push harder than you’ve ever pushed before, you can finally right all the wrongs. But you can’t. You just can’t.”

“So I stop trying?”

“No. Never stop trying. Just give yourself a break. Sometimes you need to turn off your brain. Find a little peace and quiet. Just for a little while.”

“Easier said than done.”

“No, not really. Come with me.”

Luke put Fluffy into the quarantine cage, and then he led Shannon up the path to his truck. She started to ask where they were going, but he put his finger to his lips before she could even get the words out of her mouth. Finally she just put on her seat belt and went along for the ride.

Luke left the shelter property and turned onto the highway. After a few minutes, he made a left onto a dirt and gravel road that didn’t even look like a road. They wound through the trees, the truck’s headlights cutting through the night. Soon the road became just dirt. Then it was barely a road at all.

Finally they reached a point where the road ended and they could go no farther. As Luke grabbed a flashlight from his glove compartment, Shannon got out of the truck. It was official. They were definitely in the middle of nowhere.

Luke took her hand and they wove through the trees. Just when she was sure the overgrown brush was going to keep them from going farther, the trees parted, and Shannon couldn’t believe what she saw.

They were on the edge of a cliff. A full moon had risen, huge and yellow, floating over the valley. Shannon swept her gaze from left to right, taking in the most spectacular panorama of moonlit splendor she’d ever seen.

She put her hand to her chest. “My God. It’s
beautiful
.”

“Listen,” he said.

“I don’t hear anything.”

“Exactly. Soft breeze in the trees. A few crickets. That’s about it.”

He took her to a nearby fallen log, and they sat down. Luke flipped off the flashlight, and then it was only the moonlight between them. Now she remembered. She remembered how it had felt when they were teenagers, to be inches from him and wanting to touch him so badly she trembled with the feeling.

“I used to come here when I was a kid,” he said. “I was the only one who knew about this place. Nobody bothered me here. Nobody waiting for me to screw up. No sheriff hanging over my shoulder. No father…” His voice trailed off.

Shannon nodded. “I wish I’d known about this place. It might have made things easier for me, too.”

“What things?”

“When I was a kid, everything came with an expectation. You had to give to get.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had a lot to live up to.”

Luke was silent, waiting for her to continue.

“I remember one semester my senior year, I got a B in a math class,” Shannon said. “First B I’d ever gotten. Do you know my hands actually shook when I showed my mother my grades? She got this terrible look of disappointment on her face, as if I’d betrayed the family or committed a crime. She never got angry or yelled. There was just this horrible silence.”

Shannon hadn’t thought about that in a long time, and she was surprised at how it still made her sick to think about it.

“I know it doesn’t seem like a big thing to you considering where you came from,” she went on, “and you’re right to feel that way. But things like that added up, little by little, until I felt as if I was drowning. No matter how hard I tried, I never quite measured up.”

“Which is why you’re just a little bit of a perfectionist?”

“You think?” She smiled briefly. Then her smile faded. “But you know, the day I showed my mother that grade, I went to the shelter. I walked from cage to cage, talking to the dogs. They didn’t care what I did, how I dressed, what grades I got. They loved me anyway. That’s why I’ll do anything for them. And they don’t ask for a damn thing in return except for me to feed them and treat them right.”

Luke reached over and took Shannon’s hand, and together they stared out at the valley.

“I’m glad Mildred insisted the valley stay untouched,” Shannon said quietly, as if a louder voice would disturb the animal spirits dozing peacefully beneath the full moon. “On a night like tonight, it’s easy to believe the animals really are there.”

“So you believe the legend?”

She lifted one shoulder in a tiny shrug. “We’ve had all kinds of animals come through the shelter. Ones who’ve been horribly mistreated. Some who didn’t make it.” She paused, her eyes growing misty. “Sometimes I need to believe, you know?”

Luke nodded.

“On the hardest days,” she said, “sometimes I think about what it would be like if I were to die and go to the valley. If you believe the legend, every animal I’ve ever loved would be there.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, and Luke gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Any pain they’d felt in this life would be gone,” she said. “They’d have no memory of abuse or neglect or anything else they might have suffered. Finally they’d all be healthy and happy. Then…” Her voice faltered. “Then there would be that moment when they’d look up and recognize me. They’d come running across the valley to meet me. And then”—she ducked her head and put her hand against her mouth, her voice choking up—“then a rainbow would appear…”

She squeezed her eyes closed. Tears streamed down her face, and her shoulders shook with sobs. Luke slipped his arm around her. She fell against him, and he took her in his arms. He held her tightly, running his hand up and down her back in long, soothing strokes. For a long time he just held her like that, the warmth of his embrace countering the cool night breeze, the gentleness of his touch coaxing her tears to subside.

Nothing felt better than being with him. Nothing.

Luke was warm and solid and comforting in ways she’d never expected him to be. He’d shown up there and reminded her what it felt like for her skin to prickle with excitement, only to turn around and show her how to breathe deeply and let her troubles go. Whatever she needed at the time, Luke always seemed to be there to provide it.

“The Rainbow Valley Overlook is nice,” he said. “But that’s for everyone else. This place was mine before. Now I’m giving it to you.”

She looked up at him, her eyes glittering with tears. “Can you do that?”

“I just did. It can be yours forever, as long as you don’t tell anyone about it.”

Long after he was gone, she could come here and remember this night. She didn’t know whether to feel comforted by that or start crying all over again.

Luke continued to hold Shannon, wanting desperately to protect her from anything that caused her misery, distress, or unhappiness. Then he remembered what Rita had asked him to do.
While you’re here…will you watch out for her?

He’d met that suggestion with total disbelief that it was necessary, and even if it was, that he was the man for the job. But as strong as Shannon was, right now she felt small and soft and vulnerable, and he wanted to tell her that no matter how tough things got, he’d always be there for her.

But the truth was that he wouldn’t always be there. His life consisted of crisscrossing the country, riding bulls, driving hard for the championship he was sure would finally make his life complete. And she had her life in Rainbow Valley, with her friends and family and a bunch of homeless animals. He had no doubt that the man who eventually married her would have everything he didn’t. A college degree. A stable life. A lucrative profession. People who respected him.

And the woman he wanted more than anything.

Luke fought the memories, the ones that made him feel less than other people. And it was because of this town. Nowhere else on earth did he feel that way. Only here. He’d thought if only he knew for sure his father was in the ground, it would all be over. But it wasn’t. As much as he professed to have gotten past it all, it took nothing for old memories to be triggered, ones he still didn’t want to face.

The festival was starting in a few days. Soon he’d be getting on the road to Denver. He needed time to drive there. To acclimate himself back to the rodeo arena. To get his mind back in the game and let this life go.

To let Shannon go.

Lately, though, a daydream had filled his mind more than once. He imagined it was the final round at the World Championship, and he’d just gone the distance on the biggest, baddest bull he’d ever ridden. He’d turn to the stands and search the people there, finally locating Shannon’s beautiful face. For the first time in his career, there would be somebody he cared about in those stands. Somebody who cared about him. Somebody who searched him out afterward, win or lose, and then they went home together.

But that would never happen. Shannon would never leave this town, and he couldn’t stay. It was time to stop wishing for things that could never be.

“Thank you for this place,” Shannon said. “I won’t ever forget it.”

Her eyes were still glistening with tears, and her warm, sincere expression went straight to his heart.
And I won’t ever forget you.

They drove back to the shelter. When Luke parked in front of the office and killed the engine, the silence just about drove him crazy. He didn’t want to get out of this truck. Didn’t want this night to be over. Didn’t want to walk inside to his empty apartment only to lie in bed and think about Shannon.

He turned to look at her. She reached out her hand, and he took it in his. Then she leaned over the console, put her other hand against his face, and kissed him on the opposite cheek. Instead of pulling away immediately, though, her hand lingered against his face, and he felt her warm breath against the side of his neck.

He didn’t know what it meant. It was too chaste to be a come-on, too sensual for
just friends.
Never in his life had he wanted a woman the way he wanted her, but this wasn’t just fun and games anymore. He couldn’t ruin this night by coaxing and coercing her, maybe even making promises he couldn’t keep. Damn it, he just couldn’t—

Then the warm breath on his neck became warm lips.

His heart jolted hard, then shifted into a chaotic rhythm. The warm lips moved closer to his, trailing kisses along his cheek. Her hand crept to his thigh, squeezing, releasing. When her lips finally landed against his, he felt a surge of heat that just about set him on fire.

This was no good night kiss.

“Let’s go inside,” she whispered, and all his reservations went right out the window.

W
hat happened next was a blur to Shannon. She and Luke got out of the truck, but the moment they crossed in front of it and came back together, he pressed her up against the hood, cradling the back of her neck in his hand and kissing her long and hard. There was nothing gentle about it, but that wasn’t what she wanted right now. She wanted to
feel
how much he wanted her, to bring out that wild streak she knew was still inside him, to look into those dark, captivating eyes and see him looking back with desire.

He backed away for a moment, breathing hard, his lips still hovering over hers. “I can’t stay. You know I can’t stay in this town. So if you need to say no, say it now. Say it now before—”

She took him by his shirt collar and yanked him forward, slamming her mouth against his. She knew the warning was because he cared about her, but she didn’t need it. She knew who they both were, what they wanted, and how this had to end. She didn’t care about later. All she wanted was right now.

But hadn’t she warned
herself
about this? Over and over, until she was sick of hearing her own voice inside her head?
The closer you get to him, the more you’ll regret it later.

Then he’d taken her to his secret overlook tonight. Talked to her so tenderly. Held her while she cried like a fool. And suddenly she couldn’t let one more night pass without being with him.

“No,” she said breathlessly. “I’ve wanted this for a long time. Such a long time.”

The words were barely out of her mouth before Luke grabbed her hand and they hurried up the porch steps. When they reached the door, he looked over his shoulder and spit out a curse.

“Keys—
shit.
Give me yours.”

Shannon fished through her purse. She’d barely located her keys before Luke yanked them out of her hand and unlocked the door. He pushed it open and pulled her inside.

“Wait,” she said. “Yours are still in your truck. Somebody could drive off with—”

“Don’t care.”

He barely took time to click the lock before dragging her toward his apartment. As she ran along behind him, she dropped her purse and it hit the tile floor. She heard a clink and a clatter. Looking over her shoulder, she saw half its contents spilled out beside it, but she couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop. He pulled her into his apartment and spun her around, kissing her at the same time he backed her against the door and it slammed shut.

Yes,
she thought.
Yes! More, more, more…

He pulled the elastic out of her ponytail, and her hair cascaded to her shoulders. He slid his hand into it and closed his fist, holding her steady and kissing her with the kind of self-assurance she’d never felt from any other man. That voice inside her head—the one that always told her to slow down, to stop, to think, to consider—began to fade away in the heat of passion, until it finally fell silent altogether.

Then suddenly he pulled away. She reached for him, only to realize the only reason he’d stopped was to rip off his T-shirt and fling it aside. Her gaze went directly to that gorgeous chest, but her view was cut short when he reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it off over her head. He unclasped her bra, swept the cups aside, and took her breasts in his hands. He lifted and squeezed them as he kissed her again, strumming her nipples with his thumbs. With her arms looped around his neck, she closed her eyes and dropped her head back against the door. When her knees buckled, he caught her, swept her into his arms, and lay her on the bed.

Soon they had shed their clothes, and Luke was beside her on the bed, his hand gliding across the bare skin over her hips, her belly, her ribs. Then he lifted one breast and closed his mouth over her nipple, swirling his tongue around it. He moved to her other breast and gave it the same treatment, and the feeling was so powerful she almost couldn’t stand it.

Still teasing her breasts with his tongue, he moved his hand between her legs and began to stroke her there. First gently, then harder. Then he backed away for a moment, waiting until she arched her hips up to meet his touch, begging for more. She’d never been with a man who was so in tune with her smallest movement, her slightest moan. Luke listened and reacted, kissing her here, touching her there, pressing his fingers between her legs, stroking her relentlessly.

“Luke,” she said, barely able to find her voice. “Please.
Now
.”

But now he didn’t seem to be listening at all. He just kept teasing and tormenting her until she couldn’t speak. She couldn’t breathe. Good
God.
She was going to die, right here, right now.

Finally he moved between her legs. In one hard stroke, he slid deep inside her, and the pleasure was so great she almost cried out with relief. He moved with swift, powerful strokes, pushing her higher and higher, right to the edge, until her breath came in quick, sharp gasps. She came closer…closer…so
close
…

And then she fell.

All at once it was as if floodgates opened and her body was awash in sensation. She dug her fingers into Luke’s shoulders, lifting her hips to meet every stroke, begging for everything he had to give her. He’d lived in her memory for so many years that she couldn’t believe the flesh-and-blood man was here right now, making love to her like this.

“Shannon,” he groaned, his voice deep and raspy. “Sweetheart…oh,
God
…”

He threw his head back as he came, then buried it in the hollow of her neck as tremors of pleasure washed over both of them. It seemed to go on forever, the heat, the pulsing, the amazing feeling of finally letting go.

Luke rolled to his back, and after a moment, he pulled her toward him. She turned and fell against him, and he enveloped her in his arms. Their breathing became slower, more measured, the heat of passion melting into the warmth of togetherness.

“If you don’t mind,” she said quietly, “I’m going to stay a while this time.”

He tightened his arms around her. “I hope you’ll be back.”

She smiled drowsily. “You couldn’t keep me away.”

On Monday morning, Russell sat at his desk in his office, having a cup of coffee and trying not to obsess over what had happened at Shannon’s apartment on Saturday night. He was getting pretty damned tired of being so understanding.
No problem! Run off with Luke Dawson. I’ll just wait over here like a good little boy until you finally get him out of your system.

Russell fingered his letter opener, wishing he could stab it into something. Luke Dawson was the embodiment of every guy in his life who’d ever one-upped him, the guy who won the game, secured the promotion, got the girl. Handsome, sexy, with the kind of confidence that drew women to him without him even trying.

Russell tossed the letter opener aside and glared at the calendar on his desk. He’d even been stupid enough to think Shannon had invited him to dinner because it was his birthday. But no. She hadn’t said a single word about it.

Just then his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket, surprised to see the name on the caller ID. He hit the
Talk
button. “Mom? Hi. How are you?”

“I was returning your call,” his mother said.

“Returning my call?”

“Yes. You left me a message several days ago. What did you want, dear?”

Several days ago? Try a week and a half.
“Oh. That. I just wanted to ask you…”

“Yes?”

“I thought maybe you and Dad would like to come here for a visit. Just for a few days.”

Silence on the line. The kind of silence that, even after all these years, he still struggled not to fill.

“Come there?” she said finally. “To Rainbow Valley?”

“Well, yeah. If you can get away. They have an inn here. It’s a little rustic, but it’s nice. I wouldn’t say it’s a five-star hotel, but…”

His voice trailed off, mostly because he didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s at least three hours from Dallas,” his mother said.

“You could take a Southwest flight into Austin.”

“Southwest? Isn’t that the airline where you can’t reserve seats?”

“Or you can fly American. And then rent a car. It’s only about an hour from Austin.”

“Then we might as well drive,” his mother said. “Sounds as if the access is abysmal.”

“That’s what makes it nice,” Russell said without a lot of conviction. “It’s secluded. Off the beaten path. A nice place to get away.”

But even as he said that, he knew his mother’s idea of “getting away” was renting a luxury villa in the Cayman Islands.

“I don’t know, dear,” she said finally. “We’re very busy. I have three deals I’m closing this month, and your father…well, you know. His schedule is brutal.”

Yes. Russell was all too familiar with his father’s schedule. “Actually, I was hoping you could meet Shannon.”

“Shannon?”

“My girlfriend. I told you about her last time we talked. She’s great. I think you’ll really like her.”

Long pause. “Oh. The woman with the animals.”

“Yes. She used to be a CPA. Now she’s the director of the animal shelter. That’s a big deal here in Rainbow Valley.”

“She left a job as a CPA to work for a nonprofit?”

“Yes. Remember I told you that? But she’s really smart. And she comes from a good family here. Her father was an attorney. Retired now. Her mother—”

Just then Russell heard that familiar click that told him his mother had another call coming in. He’d heard that click about a thousand times in his life, and it never failed to make him just a little bit sick to his stomach.

“Russell, dear. Hold just a moment. I have another call.”

Of course you do.

He pressed the phone to his ear and waited a painfully long time, imagining her talking about escrows and interest rates and inspections and appraisals and all those other things that made up his mother’s world, leaving little room for anything else.

Finally the line clicked again. “Russell, are you still there?”

“Yeah, Mom. I’m here.”

“About visiting. Of course we’d love to. I just don’t know when it will be possible. Your father and I will have to coordinate our schedules and get back to you. This month is out for me, and your father has a conference next month in addition to his surgery schedule. And why he agreed to teach this semester, I’ll never know.”

“Okay,” Russell said. “Just let me know.”

“Of course, dear. I need to go now. Stay in touch.”

And then she was gone.

There had been a time when he’d believed his mother when she said it was just a timing thing and schedules were being compared and yes, of course they’d love to, even when he lived only fifteen miles away. Then weeks would pass, and months, and pretty soon it was time for the Morgensen family Christmas at their home in Highland Park. They’d sit around his parents’ professionally decorated Christmas tree, where Russell would collect the usual cashmere sweater and whatever bottle of vintage wine his father happened to pull from his wine cellar. Then for another year, they’d have unbearably stilted telephone conversations that went nowhere. Then Christmas would roll around again…

And then it dawned on him. His birthday. His mother hadn’t said a word about it.

“Dr. Morgensen?”

He looked up to find Cynthia at his office door.

“My mother,” he said as he stuffed his phone into his pocket. “She and my father are coming for a visit.”

“That’s nice,” Cynthia said. “When?”

“They have to check their schedules. My mother is the top Realtor in the Park Cities in Dallas. It keeps her really busy.”

“I bet it does. What does your father do?”

“My father?” Russell suddenly felt like the slacker his parents thought he was. “He’s a heart surgeon.”

Cynthia’s big brown eyes grew even wider. “Wow. I imagine that keeps him busy, too.”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Cynthia said brightly, “I hope I get to meet them when they’re here. Will they come to the office?”

All at once, Russell realized just how wrong that would be. His mother would look at Cynthia’s Sea World pencil cup and her stuffed rabbit and the plants that were beginning to make his waiting room look like Little Shop of Horrors, and she wouldn’t be able to fathom any of it. And what if they tried talking to Velma? That would be an experience. Then his father would glance around his office and wonder where his son’s golf trophies and awards from professional associations were. Russell could take then to dinner at the club, but as nice as the Majestic was, it felt like a low-class bar and grill compared to their club in Dallas.

Suddenly he felt sick to his stomach all over again. What the hell had he been thinking when he moved there?

“Of course they’ll come to the office,” Russell said.
No, they won’t. They’re never coming. I could live here for twenty years, and they’d never step foot in this town. Never.

“Good,” Cynthia said. “That’s good.” But there was something in her voice that didn’t sound like cheerful conversation.

It sounded like pity.

And then he knew. She must have overheard part of his conversation, and she had an inkling what was going on. But there was nothing pitiful about him. His practice was off to a great start. People looked up to him here. He was a thirty-two-year-old man who certainly didn’t need his parents to tell him he was doing well. He didn’t need anyone to tell him his decisions were right or wrong. He didn’t need anybody,
period.

But his practice wasn’t in one of Dallas’s high-rent neighborhoods. He wasn’t in debt up to his eyeballs to have outrageously expensive state-of-the-art equipment. His patients didn’t include a bunch of big-city movers and shakers. He wasn’t going to be profiled in
Dallas Monthly
as one of the city’s top ten dental practitioners.

And dentistry wasn’t heart surgery.

“Did you need something?” Russell said.

“What?”

“What were you going to say?”

“Oh. It’s nothing.”

For the first time he realized she’d been holding a small white box, which she’d set on his desk when she came in. “It’s just a little something for you,” she said, sliding it toward him. “No big deal.”