Cowboy Take Me Away (26 page)

Early next morning, Russell sat at his desk, his face still throbbing. His nosebleed had stopped, but the bruises would take some time to go away. And the swelling. And the anger. And the confusion. And—

He heard some commotion in his front office. He went out to find Cynthia there, putting stuff into a box on her desk. She glanced at him. Looked at his bruised nose. Then she looked away again, picking up the clock from her desk and putting it into the box.

“He didn’t break my nose, in case you’re wondering,” Russell said.

“I wasn’t.”

Her words hit him with nearly as much power as Luke’s fist. And still she wouldn’t look at him.

“What are you doing?” he asked her.

“Cleaning out my desk.”

“What for?”

“I quit.”

Russell’s stomach fell to the vicinity of his knees. “What do you mean, you quit? You don’t want to quit.”

“The hell I don’t.”

He couldn’t believe it. Cynthia had cussed at him.
Cynthia.
Yes, she had more of a mind of her own than he ever realized, but in the end, she was a good girl who only went so far. She’d cussed, and she hadn’t so much as apologized for it?

“Okay, fine,” he said, an anxious feeling coming over him. “You’re quitting. But why?”

Cynthia raised her chin. “I heard what you said to Luke last night. It was awful. You deserved what he did to you and more.”

Russell froze. Thought back to the words he’d spoken. Well, so what? Luke had done the unthinkable. He’d tried to take Shannon right out from under him.

“You heard that?” he asked.

“I was going to my car. But you weren’t paying attention, because you were saying mean things to Luke.”

He grabbed the rabbit before she could stuff it in the box. “You’re quitting because of something I said to Luke?”

“I’m quitting because you’re a clueless man who drives me crazy.” She took the rabbit away from him and put it in the box. “By the way, I’m taking Jessie with me.”

Russell drew back with disbelief. “You can’t take my cat!”

“She’s not your cat. She’s mine.”

“I adopted her.”

“Doesn’t matter. She’s mine. If you don’t believe me, just ask her.”

He glanced over at Jessie, who sat on Cynthia’s desk as if she belonged there, right between the aloe vera plant and that weird lamp with the fringed shade. The truth was that Jessie had never liked him, so why would he want to keep her? She was better off with Cynthia. Yes. That was exactly right. Both of them had treated him badly, so they deserved each other.

“Fine,” he said. “Take her. Is there anything else you want?”

He’d meant that sarcastically, only to see her looking around the room. “The ficus tree. It was dying when I showed up here. I brought it back to life, so I figure that makes it mine, too. And that little watercolor on the wall over there. I got it from the Red Barn, thinking it would look pretty in your waiting room. But you never said a word about it, so I assume you don’t like it.”

“I do like it. I
told
you I liked it.”

“No, you didn’t. Not once. So I guess it’s mine after all.”

“Fine!” he said, throwing his arms up. “Take everything! Take it all! Do you want my dental drills, too?”

She seemed to ponder that for a moment, then shrugged. “No. You can have those.”

“You had to
think
about it?”

“Well, you did ask.”

He looked at her incredulously. “Stop talking to me like…like you’re not
you
!”

“How would you know if I’m being me? You don’t know me.”

“I don’t know you? You’ve worked for me for six months!”

“Doesn’t matter. You don’t know me. But I know you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Sure I do. Enough to know that as much as I like Shannon, she isn’t the right woman for you. Not even close.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re both workaholic control freaks. That’s a recipe for disaster. If you marry and have kids, they’ll be so neurotic they won’t be able to show their faces in public. They’ll stay in their beds every morning with the covers pulled up over their heads. You need balance in a relationship. That’s what makes it work.”

Russell felt as if his brain was turned inside out. “What
happened
to you?”

“Nothing happened to me.”

“So if I’m not good for Shannon, who is?”

“Who do you think?” Cynthia rolled her eyes, then spoke with ultra-enunciation.
“Luke.”

“He hit me!”

“You deserved it. Haven’t we been through that already?”

“So you’re quitting because of something I said to Luke?”

“Of course not. You’re actually a nice person at heart, so sooner or later you’re going to be sorry for what you said. And you’ll beat yourself up plenty, so there’s no point in me doing it.”

“So why are you leaving?”

“I told you before. Because you’re a clueless man who drives me crazy.”

Russell felt his eyes crossing with confusion. “That makes no sense.”

“Once again. Clueless. Good-bye, Dr. Morgensen.”

With that, she jerked the box up and took it to her car. She came back inside, yanked the painting off the wall, and took it away, too. Then she came back inside and put Jessie into a cat carrier. And when the door closed behind her for the third time, she was gone for good.

He stood there helplessly, humiliation crawling through him. Just once in his life he wanted to come out on top. Be a winner. Be a man other men envied. And now, once again, he was hanging from the bottom rung like the biggest loser alive.

He had to face facts. Shannon wasn’t his. She’d never been his. Not from the beginning, and certainly not now. He thought if only he pushed hard enough, he could get a ring on her finger, and the rest would take care of itself. Then he’d be part of the North family and his station in this town would be assured forever. But Shannon didn’t want him.

She wanted Luke.

When the two of them were together, it was as if they were meant for each other. Why, Russell didn’t know. Matters of the heart had always been the hardest things for him to fathom. If he tried to understand it, his head would hurt for the rest of his life.

The strangest feeling overcame him. It was as if Cynthia had seen right through his skin to the man beneath. That scared the crap out of him, because he wasn’t sure that was a man he wanted anybody to see.

She’d been right. About everything.

This had been his fault. Luke hadn’t wanted trouble. But Russell had given him trouble, anyway, because Luke had taken Shannon away from him, as if he’d ever had her in the first place. Right now, though, for some reason he couldn’t fathom, something else bothered him more.

He’d lost Cynthia.

He’d done things in his life he wasn’t proud of, but nothing like he’d done last night. Shame filled him, crawling inside him and making him sick to his stomach. Cynthia was right about him. He was clueless. No wonder he drove her crazy. Somehow, some way, he had to make this right again.

He walked back to his office, grabbed his phone, and called the sheriff.

L
uke blinked his eyes open. Looked around. For a moment, he felt disoriented, with no idea at all where he was. The walls were bare. The bed was hard.

Then he saw the bars.

Sure enough, it hadn’t been a bad dream after all. He was in jail.

He sat up on the edge of the bed, feeling as if every nerve in his body had been deadened with Novocain. His sleep had been erratic and so filled with odd, nightmarish dreams that he felt as if he’d barely closed his eyes.

He heard a door open and looked up to see Sheriff Sizemore come in. Luke rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and tried to focus.

“Russell called,” the sheriff said. “He’s dropping the charges.”

“Yeah?” Luke said, his voice slurred with sleep. “What made him change his mind?”

“He didn’t say. He just said he wanted you out of jail.”

The sheriff opened the cell door and gave Luke his possessions back. Luke looked at his phone. It was eight thirty. He was amazed he’d even slept that long in a place like this. He guessed it was self-preservation. Being awake meant he had to face what had happened, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“I want you to think really strongly about something,” the sheriff said.

“What’s that?”

“Leaving town. Today.”

Luke’s head throbbed with shame and humiliation. He’d walked into this town with the stain of the past still on him, and he was leaving now covered in it.

“Yeah,” he said in a dead voice. “I’m leaving.”

“I think that’s best for all concerned.”

Luke turned and walked to the door, feeling the sheriff’s gaze on him with every step he took, the man’s unspoken words stabbing into him.
And don’t come back.

A minute later Luke was walking along the town square toward his truck. Remnants of the festival were still scattered along Rainbow Way—signs, pennants, a few booths that had yet to be taken down. It seemed surreal to him now, as if the festival had ended months ago instead of hours.

As he passed Tasha’s Boutique, Ginger spotted him from inside the shop. She trotted over, hopped up on a chair, and barked. Tasha froze, her scissors hovering over a woman’s wet hair, and watched as Luke passed by. No smile, no wave. A few doors down, three of Rosie’s booths along the window were occupied. Those people stopped eating to watch him walk by, their faces filled with lurid curiosity. He didn’t recognize them, but the crawly sensation in his stomach told him they recognized him. It felt so strange to walk this street again as if he was an outsider. As if he wasn’t part of this place anymore, and it wasn’t part of him. And Shannon…

No.
He couldn’t think about her now, or he wouldn’t be able to stand it.

A few minutes later, he’d climbed into his truck and left Rainbow Valley, heading for the shelter. When he reached it, he thanked God nobody was there yet, including Shannon. He gathered his meager belongings from his apartment and tossed them into his truck.

Then he thought about Manny and Fluffy.

He stopped for a moment, his hand on the driver’s door. Fluffy would be adopted soon. Luke would miss him fiercely, but he was such a sweet, engaging dog in spite of the way he’d been treated that eventually he’d live out his life with someone who would love him.

Manny was another story.

Luke hadn’t been there long enough to turn him around completely, and that meant he’d likely be at the shelter forever. Luke only hoped that somehow, some way, the little horse would find some kind of peace with the abuse he’d suffered, some way to reconcile the fear he felt without the shadow of it clinging to him every day of his life.

Luke turned onto the highway again, heading for the interstate. He thought about texting Shannon to tell her he was gone, then wondered why he would bother. She’d find out soon enough, and after what had happened, she’d be damned glad of it. After all, in the span of a few minutes, he’d confirmed what everybody in this town had always thought about him. That he was his father’s son, now and forever.

Luke slammed his fist against the steering wheel.
Damn it!
Why had he done it? Why? One moment he was brushing off Russell’s comments like a fly off his sleeve. In the next moment, it was as if the words found their way inside him, waking up that part of him he thought he’d buried for good, driving him to do something—
anything
—to take away the anger and the pain.

Drive. Just drive. Leave this place, and do it now!

Then, in the distance, he saw his father’s house.

As much as Luke knew he should keep going, indecision gripped him. He couldn’t seem to stop himself from slowing down as he approached it. Finally he pulled to the shoulder, his truck idling. Most of the fall leaves on the property had departed the scraggly trees, and he could just make out the house behind them—the house that held every bad memory this life had ever given him.

You’re still scared of it. In spite of everything, you’re still scared to go inside an old, empty house. You’re not a kid anymore. For God’s sake, just man up and do it!

He touched the gas. Turned onto the property.

No! Go back to the highway. Head for Denver. Now. Goddamn it, don’t you ever learn? Drive!

Even as the conflicting commands warred inside his mind, he knew the truth. If he didn’t face this now, the ghosts that lived inside those walls would rise up and haunt him until the day he died. It unnerved him to know how much emotion was still tied up in it, emotion that teetered on the brink of his subconscious, ready to come screaming out at the least provocation, just as it had last night.

It was time to put it to rest once and for all.

Shannon had barely slept the night before, and as she drove toward the shelter now, anger and heartache were still all mangled together in her mind. She knew Russell must have said something to Luke to provoke that kind of response, but did it really matter? Men settled their differences with words, and kids settled them with their fists. Luke had thrown the first punch—admitted it, even—and that was absolutely intolerable to her, particularly after he’d told her he’d gotten past it all, grown up, become his own man. But that wasn’t how he’d acted last night. Last night he’d been just like the bitter, destructive kid she’d known all those years ago.

She knew that wasn’t who Luke was today. She
knew
it. But there was no denying what he’d done, and now he was in jail. If Russell pushed this to the limit, Luke could actually go to prison for assault.

As she started to turn onto the drive leading into the shelter, she happened to glance down the highway to Glenn Dawson’s property. Autumn foliage had fallen away, making the house visible.

Luke’s truck was parked out front.

She blinked with surprise. As angry as Russell had been, she hadn’t expected to see Luke released from jail so soon, and if he couldn’t make bail, maybe not at all.

Stay away. Nothing good can come from talking to him.

But she couldn’t let it go. She knew if she didn’t get to the bottom of what had happened, the image of the sheriff putting him into that police car would stay with her forever.

She hit the gas and continued down the highway to the gravel road that led to Glenn Dawson’s house. She had no idea what she was going to say to Luke, but one way or another, she was going to find out the truth.

Luke sidestepped the gaping hole in the front porch and put his hand on the doorknob. He turned it, and when he heard the squeak of rusty hinges, it was all he could do not to turn around and run. Instead, he gritted his teeth and forced himself to step inside. In that instant, horrific memories from years past rushed through time to freeze him to the spot where he stood.

The place still reeked of filth and fury. The walls bled tobacco stains from the Camels his father had chain-smoked. A trash can beside the sofa was overflowing with empty whiskey bottles. He glanced into the kitchen, where a pair of dirty glasses still stood in the dull, pockmarked sink.

Luke wiped his sweaty palms on his thighs, resisting the urge to bolt. Before coming inside, he’d told himself all he had to do was see it for what it was—a dirty old house—and the hateful feelings would vanish. So why was his heart suddenly racing?

Then he turned toward his bedroom, and tears instantly filled his eyes.

In that moment, he knew nothing had changed. He was going to feel the shadow of this house clinging to him for the rest of his life. He was both a cowering kid who couldn’t even stand in this place without crying, and a man who couldn’t take an insult from another man without losing control. He’d convinced himself he was over it. But he wasn’t over a damned thing. It was still wrapped around his brain like an invasive tumor that would suck the life out of him from now until the end of time. Why couldn’t he let it go?
Why?

Then he heard a noise behind him.

Shannon stepped to one side to avoid the hole in the porch decking, then pushed the door open to find Luke standing in what passed as the living room. Ratty, stained furniture sat on threadbare carpet, and the windows were so filthy only a small amount of light filtered through.

When the old door hinges squeaked, Luke spun around, his eyes wide with surprise. Then his gaze landed on Shannon, and his brows drew together with irritation. She strode into the house and stopped in front of him.

“How did you manage to get out of jail?” she asked.

“I broke out. Grabbed the sheriff’s gun. Now I’m a fugitive on the run.”

Shannon’s heart skipped a couple of beats.

“You believed that, didn’t you?” Luke said mockingly. “Just for a second or two, you actually believed it.”

“After last night I don’t know what to believe. Luke? What
happened
?”

He raised his chin in anger, his eyes boring into her. “Russell Morgensen is a son of a bitch.”

“Oh, yeah? Exactly what did he do to warrant you damn near breaking his jaw?”

“He’s got a big mouth.”

“That’s it? He
said
something to you? Good God, Luke! You’re not a kid anymore with something to prove. You’re a grown man who ought to know better than to throw a punch like that!”

“You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

“I went out on a limb for you,” she said. “I’ve been telling everybody you’re not the kid you used to be, that you’re nothing like your father, and that they’re fools for thinking you are.”

“I don’t give a damn what you or anybody else in this town thinks. Least of all Russell.”

“Yeah? You don’t give a damn? So why did you pick a fight with him?”

“I didn’t start the fight.”

“But you sure finished it, didn’t you?”

“So that’s why you’re here? To take up for Russell?”

“I’m not taking up for Russell!”

“Okay. Fine. You’ve already told me how angry you are that I punched him. If there’s nothing else, why don’t you just leave?”

She opened her mouth to say something, only to close it again.

“I’m just a dumb, angry kid who can’t keep his fists to himself,” Luke said. “So why are you wasting your time with me?”

She didn’t know why. She didn’t know. She’d just seen his truck, gotten angry—

“I’m getting ready to leave this place forever,” Luke went on. “I bet you’re pretty happy about that now, aren’t you?”

No. She wasn’t happy about it. She was angry with him, her fists squeezed into balls so tight her fingernails were practically drawing blood, but still, the thought of him leaving—

“So why not just go about your business and forget I ever came here?”

“I-I don’t know,” she stammered.

“You don’t know? You
don’t know
? Then why don’t you get out of here and leave me the hell alone?”

“Because I
love
you!”

For several seconds, the house was deathly quiet. Luke just stood there, blinking with surprise. She couldn’t believe she’d said it. The words hadn’t even formed in her mind before they came out of her mouth. But the moment they passed her lips, she knew how true they were.

She loved him. She didn’t know when it had started. Maybe when they were at the rodeo. Maybe when he rescued Fluffy. Maybe when he’d taken her to his secret lookout. Maybe she really had loved him when they were teenagers and she’d never stopped. She didn’t know. She only knew she loved him, and
that
was why she was there.

Her anger melted away, leaving her with nothing but the relief of finally admitting what she’d felt for weeks. And in spite of what had happened last night that had led to this moment, she knew he felt it, too. She
knew
it.

Now she just wanted to understand. Understand why the man she’d come to know so well had done something so wrong when she knew in her heart that wasn’t who he was at all. But then his eyes grew hard, and a shiver of apprehension crept down her spine. A derisive laugh escaped his lips.

“Love?” he said. “You don’t love me. I’m just one more pitiful stray you feel obligated to take in.”

She drew back.
“What?”

“It’s what you do. You can’t stand to watch poor, pathetic creatures suffer. Look around you. I’m definitely more pathetic than most.”

“What are you talking about? This place isn’t
you
!”

“According to everyone in that town, it is.”

She inched closer to Luke, her heart beating wildly. “What did he say to you? What did Russell say last night to make you so angry?”

“He didn’t have to say anything to make me want to hit him. All he had to do was show up.”

“Luke! What did he
say
?”

Luke’s gaze was hard and impenetrable, but his throat convulsed with a hard swallow. “He said you deserved a better man than the son of the town drunk.”

Shannon’s mouth fell open. She knew Russell was threatened by Luke, but for him to say something like that—

“Don’t act so surprised,” Luke said. “After all, you felt the same way a few years ago.”

“I never felt that way about you!”

“The hell you didn’t.”