Cowpokes and Desperadoes (5 page)

Dunc stopped. “Just think, Amos. When they talk about this in the future—and they will—your name will be right up there with all the famous cowboys like Wyatt Earp, Pat Garrett—”

“Calamity Jane. I don’t know if I can stand this much longer, Dunc. We’re talking major pain here.”

“Listen—do you hear anything?”

“Only the sound of my poor body begging me to go home and soak in a hot tub.”

“Cows. I hear cows—lots of them!”

Amos closed his eyes. “I hate to break it to you, but this is a ranch. There are supposed to be cows on it.”

Dunc rode around the next bend. “Not this many in one place. Come up here and have a look.”

About a hundred head of cattle were contained in a makeshift barbed-wire corral.
Billy Ray’s old truck was parked in front of a falling-down adobe house, along with a brand-new black and silver pickup with dark tinted windows.

Dunc stepped off. “We’ll tie our horses over there behind that boulder. We need to get closer. If we keep low and move through the cows, I don’t think they’ll spot us.”

Amos looked at the cattle. One of them stood out. He was twice the size of the others. He snorted and pawed the ground. “Dunc, do you remember that bull your uncle lost? I think we’ve found him.”

“El Diablo?” Dunc swallowed. “I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s probably just your basic harmless bull. We’ll try and work around him.” Dunc started toward the cows. “Are you coming?”

Amos was about to tell him how stupid the whole idea was—when he heard a rattling sound at his feet.

“Snake!”

Amos plowed over the top of Dunc, burying him facedown in the sand. He hurdled the corral fence and landed on his knees. He looked up—straight into a pair of big, ugly, bloodred eyes.

El Diablo snorted, and steam came out of both nostrils. He lowered his head and pointed his long horns in Amos’s direction. Amos rolled under the fence just as the bull charged.

Dunc was waiting on the other side. “Amos, you were supposed to work around him. Now you have him mad!”

Amos opened his mouth to tell Dunc exactly what he thought about him and the bull, when he felt himself being lifted off the ground.

Billy Ray and a man who was roughly the size of a house stood over them. The giant had Amos by the collar.

Billy Ray grinned. “Boys, meet Bubba.”

Amos tried to get his feet to touch the ground. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Bubba—sir. Actually, we were just leaving.”

Billy Ray sneered. “Not hardly. Bring them along, Bubba. The boss will know what to do with them.”

Bubba grabbed Dunc with his free hand and easily carried them both into the house.

A heavyset man wearing an expensive black suit was seated at a table studying a
map. He stood up when he saw the boys. “What’s going on?”

“We found us some snoopers, Mr. Grimes.” Billy Ray spat a wad of tobacco onto the floor. “Do you want Bubba to squash ’em?”

Dunc dangled from Bubba’s hand. “Are you J. B. Grimes? The bank president?”

“Billy Ray, you idiot! Now they’ve seen me. They can tie me in with all this.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Grimes. I guess I didn’t think of that.”

“That’s your problem, Billy Ray—you don’t think. Mr. Cookson will be here shortly, and if he sees them, everything will be ruined.”

“You want Bubba to squash ’em?”

“Don’t be moronic. Lock them in the old outhouse until Cookson leaves. Then we’ll decide what to do with them.”

Bubba carried them outside. He opened the door of an old dilapidated outhouse and pushed them in.

“What are you going to do with us?” Amos asked.

Billy Ray picked his teeth. “Bubba likes to squash people, so don’t do nothing stupid. Keep your mouths shut until after Mr.
Grimes’s guest leaves.” He shut the door and barred it from the outside.

Amos sat down on the wooden bench trying to avoid the hole in the middle. “It smells in here. Bad.”

Dunc sat on the other side. “I know, Amos. I’m working on a way out.”

“Maybe we ought to stay.”

“What?”

“Bubba squashes people.”

“Billy Ray only said that to scare us.”

“It worked.”

Dunc tapped his chin. “Do you remember when my grandpa Culpepper came to visit us? I think we were about six.”

“I think the smell in here is affecting your brain.”

“It was Halloween, and he was telling us what kids used to do for fun on Halloween when he was young. Do you remember?”

Amos sighed. “I’m positive you’re going to tell me.”

“They pushed over outhouses.”

“You’re not thinking of—”

“Why not? If we start rocking it from side to side, it’s bound to fall over.”

Amos stood up. “When your grandfather
and his friends pushed over those outhouses—were they empty?”

“I suppose.”

“
This one isn’t!
”

“I know that, Amos. But if we do it right, it’ll fall gently over on its side, and nobody will get hurt, and we’ll be free. It’s worth a try. Besides, who knows what Bubba will do to us after Grimes finishes his business with Mr. Cookson?”

“I guess you have a point.”

“Okay. We’ll push on my side first and try to get it rocking back and forth.… Ready? Go.”

The rickety outhouse groaned and shuddered on the first push. By the third push, they had it rocking.

“Get ready, Amos. It’s going ov—”

Dunc slid into Amos, and the outhouse fell over with a loud crash. The walls were so old, they collapsed on top of the boys.

Amos lay flat on his back covered with pieces of the outhouse. He could feel something warm licking his face. He opened his eyes. It was Suzy, making sure he was still alive.

•
12

Amos blinked and sat up. Dunc groaned next to him and rolled into a sitting position. Amos pushed a last board away and found himself looking up at Uncle Woody.

“What are you doing here?” Amos asked.

Uncle Woody patted the boys on the back and helped them up. “You boys really saved the day. It’s a good thing Juan found your note telling us where you were, or we might not have been able to get the sheriff here in time. Grimes was ready to ship the cattle out.”

Nearby, the deputies were escorting Banker Grimes to the patrol car. Billy Ray and Bubba were taking turns telling the sheriff
everything they had done wrong since they were born. It took a while, but they eventually got around to this particular crime.

Grimes had hired them to help put Uncle Woody out of business by stealing his cows, convincing his help to quit, and reporting every move he made.

Grimes had stumbled onto a preliminary report prepared years ago by a small mining company suggesting the strong possibility of a uranium strike on the ranch, near Ghost Canyon. To investigate it, he had hired Charlie Cookson over the phone, pretending to be the owner of the ranch, Woody Culpepper.

Dunc beamed. “We’re glad we could help.” He looked at Amos. “Right, Amos?”

Amos glared at him.

Dunc elbowed him. “
Right
, Amos?”

“I guess so.”

Charlie Cookson walked over and shook hands with Uncle Woody. “I’d like to apologize, Mr. Culpepper. I had no idea I wasn’t dealing with you. I should have been suspicious, I suppose, but a lot of my clients demand strict confidentiality, so it didn’t seem all that unusual.”

“It worked out okay,” Woody said. “Tell me, just how big is this strike, anyway?”

“It’s big. Maybe even the biggest in history. You could be a very rich man, Mr. Culpepper.”

The word
rich
caught Amos’s ear. He moved closer to Uncle Woody. “You don’t have any children, do you?”

“Amos.” Dunc elbowed him again.

“I only wanted to let him know I’m available.”

“That’s great, Amos.” Uncle Woody smiled. “I’ll keep you in mind.”

Juan rode up, leading their horses. “Sure, Amos, you could come out here to live. That way you could ride old Gomer every day.”

Amos spun around and started walking toward the truck. “On second thought,” he yelled over his shoulder, “my parents would probably be heartbroken. I know my sister would miss me terribly. And my dog—well, he loves me so much.”

Dunc grinned and started after him. “And the moon is made of green cheese, Santa Claus is real, Elvis is alive.…”

When Dunc Culpepper and his best friend, Amos, first see the parrot in a pet store, they’re not impressed—it’s smelly, scruffy, and missing half its feathers. They’re only slightly impressed when they learn that the parrot speaks four languages, has outlived ten of its owners, and is probably 150 years old. But when the bird starts mouthing off about buried treasure, Dunc and Amos get pretty excited—let the amateur sleuthing begin!

Dunc and his accident-prone friend, Amos, are up to their old sleuthing habits once again. This time they’re after a band of doll thieves! When a doll that once belonged to Charles Dickens’s daughter is stolen from an exhibition at the local mall, the two boys put on their detective gear and do some serious snooping. Will a vicious watchdog keep them from retrieving the valuable missing doll?

Dunc and Amos are researching the Civil War cannon that stands in the town square when they find a note inside telling them about a time portal. Entering it through the dressing room of La Petite, a women’s clothing store, the boys find themselves in downtown Chatham on March 8, 1862—the day before the historic clash between the
Monitor
and the
Merrimac
. But the Confederate soldiers they meet mistake them for Yankee spies. Will they make it back to the future in one piece?

Dunc and Amos meet up with a new buddy named Lash when they enter the radical world of skateboard competition. When somebody “cops”—steals—Lash’s prototype skateboard, the boys are determined to get it back. After all, Lash is about to shoot for a totally rad world’s record! Along the way they learn a major lesson:
Never
kiss a monkey!

Dunc and Amos are planning the best route to get the most candy on Halloween. But their plans change when Amos is slightly bitten by a werewolf.
He begins scratching himself and chasing UPS trucks—he’s become a werepuppy!

Dunc and Amos have a small problem when they try hang gliding—they crash in the wilderness. Luckily, Amos has read a book about a boy who survived in the wilderness for fifty-four days. Too bad Amos doesn’t have a hatchet. Things go from bad to worse when a wild man holds the boys captive. Can anything save them now?

Dunc’s not afraid of ghosts, although Amos is sure that the old Rambridge house is haunted by the ghost of Blackbeard the Pirate. Then the best friends meet Eddie, a meek man who claims to be impersonating Blackbeard’s ghost in order to live in the house in peace. But if that’s true, why are flames shooting from his mouth?

Deciphering a code they find in a library book, Amos and Dunc stumble onto a burglary ring. The burglars’ next target is the home of Melissa, the girl of Amos’s dreams (who doesn’t even know that he’s alive). Amos longs to be a hero to Melissa,
so nothing will stop him from solving this case—not even a mind-boggling collision with a jock, a chimpanzee, and a toilet.

In order to impress Melissa, Amos decides to perform on the trapeze at the visiting circus. Look out below! But before Dunc can talk him out of his plan, the two stumble across a mystery behind the scenes at the circus. Now Amos is in double trouble. What’s really going on under the big top?

Camouflaged as piles of rotting trash, Dime and Amos are sneaking around the town dump. Dunc wants to find out who is polluting the garbage at the dump with hazardous and toxic waste. Amos just wants to impress Melissa. Can either of them succeed?

Dunc and Amos are at it again. Some older residents of their town have been bilked by con artists, and the two boys want to look into these crimes. They meet elderly Betsy Dell, whose nasty nephew Frank gives the boys the creeps. Then they notice some soft dirt in Ms. Dell’s shed,
and a shovel. Does Frank have something horrible in store for Dunc and Amos?

Dunc and Amos head for camp and face two weeks of fresh air—along with regulations, demerits, KP, and inedible food. But where these two best friends go, trouble follows. They over-hear a threat against the camp director and discover that camp funds have been stolen. Do these crimes have anything to do with the tattoo of the exotic red flower that some of the camp staff have on their arms?

It’s Christmastime! Dunc, Amos, and Amos’s cousin T.J. hit the mall for some serious shopping. But when the seasonal magic is threatened by some disappearing presents and Santa Claus himself is a prime suspect, the boys put their celebration on hold and go undercover in the perfect Christmas disguises! Can the sleuthing trio protect Santa’s threatened reputation and catch the impostor before he strikes again?