Crash and Burn (Daddy's Girls 0.5) (3 page)

Not being in the mood to cook, I decide to head to the café down the street. It’s quiet, only a few patrons occupy the premises. I order my food and drink, realizing that, even surrounded by people, I’ve been as empty and alone as this café. In the last almost year, I’ve shut down to the point that the few patrons left occupying my heart are the Lawson family and that’s it.

Lost in thought, I’m not paying attention as I turn to walk away from the counter. Before I make more than three steps, I’m halted by a rock hard, masculine chest. Smashing into him, I spill my drink on both of us. His arms immediately come around my waist to steady me.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry,” I stammer, flustered and embarrassed.

He gently pulls back, his hands still on my waist. “It’s okay.” He replies as I begin to juggle my bag of food and cleaning up my spilled drink.

I pull out a napkin to wipe his shirt. At my touch, his muscles twitch. He clearly works out. A spark ignites inside me. I feel something for the first time since my parents died. Nervous energy now courses through my veins at a rapid pace. I feel myself slightly tremble. The stranger places his hand on top of mine to still me from continuing to clean up.

“Have dinner with me?” He asks.

“Ummm…..I wasn’t planning to dine in.” I say in surprise at his request.

“Come on. What’s the harm in sitting down for a few minutes to eat with me? I’m simply trying to get to know the beautiful woman who just ruined my favorite shirt.” He says with a smile.

I concede, deciding company tonight would be nice. Settling in a corner booth, while he goes to get his meal, I feel excitement for the first time in a long time. Conversation flows smoothly between Michael and I. He’s a communications major and lives off campus. I find myself being comfortable in his presence.

That chance dinner with Michael has brought me back to the land of the living. Maybe it is time, maybe I’m finally ready, and maybe its destiny. Either way, I have smiled for the first time in almost a year. There are butterflies in my belly at the thought of seeing him again. Maybe because he didn’t know me before; maybe my silent plea to not be alone is being answered. I’m not sure, but I do know this feels nice.

In the last two weeks, Michael and I have talked daily. It’s refreshing. Is it the newness of it that has me giddy? Or is the connection we share that strong? I feel comfortable with Michael. When I talk about my parents, it doesn’t faze him like most people. He doesn’t tell me he’s sorry. He doesn’t sit there silently waiting for me to fall apart. He simply says, “Dina, I can’t imagine that loss.” And let’s be real, no one can. Until you feel it, you can’t remotely understand it.

Tonight, Michael and I have a date. He’s taking me to dinner and a movie. Nervous anticipation courses through me. It’s been so long since I’ve allowed myself to feel anything other than sadness and despair. All these flutters and smiles are hard to settle in with. Thinking of Michael makes me smile, it’s an involuntary reaction. Talking to him brings a comfort that’s long been missing. Truth be told, I’ve never had that comfort from anyone but my family and Maggie.

I’ve dated guys. Maggie and I both had fun giving the boys a run for their money in high school. We weren’t wild, per say; our dad’s wouldn’t have allowed that, but we definitely weren’t the type to settle down. Before the accident, it was great being away at school. Maggie and I were no longer under the watchful eye of our biker dads. Anytime either of us went out, both our dad’s rallied together, shotguns on the porch beside them. It used to annoy the shit out of us; it was so embarrassing. Now, I wish my dad were here to screen the guys. His mere presence was intimidating. My dad wasn’t an overly tall man, but he was built and tattooed. He was also confident and fiercely protective; there is no doubt in my mind that if a boy messed with me, my dad would have handled it.

What would he think of Michael? Would he approve? My dad was perceptive. Are there things I’m missing? Oh daddy, I’m happy, I think. He’s been a gentleman so far. The despair is creeping up into my heart and my head once again. I can’t do this. I will cancel; there is no way I can go out. No one is here to watch out for me like that anymore.

A knock at the door alerts me to the time. Damn it, I was daydreaming too long, he’s here. I make it out of my room to find Maggie with a baseball bat in her hand, directing Michael to the couch.

“Sit. Let’s chat, Michael.” Maggie commands. I stand in my doorway to observe.

“Hello, you must be Maggie.” Michael says extending his hand in greeting.

“No handshake. We aren’t friends son, we aren’t acquaintances.” Maggie begins in her version of a stern voice. “We are here because you want to take my girl out.”

Michael nods his head in agreement with the funniest face. I’m struggling to stifle my giggle as I watch my best friend attempt to play the role of our dad’s. She’s patting the bat into her hand for emphasis of its existence.

“Dina is precious. She’s to be valued and treasured. She’s to be treated with the utmost respect, son.” Maggie states. “You fuck up, you will face me. I’m not afraid to go to prison for the ones I love. Take her out, but know the rules. Number one- she is to home by midnight. Not twelve oh one, fucker, because twelve oh one would constitute a new day. A new day would mean that precious was out with you overnight. Overnight dates aren’t allowed. Midnight. Number two- you open every single door for her. We live in the south, and that’s what gentlemen do for ladies. Our Dina is a lady. I’m not a fucking gentleman so get that straight, right fucking now. I will fuck you up, if you don’t act like a gentleman.”

Tears well up behind my eyes, as Maggie is reciting word for word the speech our dad’s gave our dates every single time. I feel him with me in this moment. I don’t move, as I silently watch as Maggie continues.

“Number three- you pay for every damn thing. If my baby girl wants the most expensive lobster on that menu, you pay for it without hesitation. If she doesn’t even eat one bite of it, you smile and know it was worth your money just to spend time with her. If she wants to stop at five stores, for a specific candy bar that can’t be found, you stop at five stores if that’s what it takes. And you pay. You take care of my precious. Number four- you don’t drop her off. Revert back to rule number two, son, you open every door. That includes the door returning her safely home. Are we clear fucker? I’m not your friend, I’m your worst nightmare if you upset Dina. Got it?” Maggie says swinging the bat to point at Michael.

I can’t stop the laughter. Seeing my very skinny and not at all scary looking best friend give that speech is hilarious. When my dad gave it, I would get nervous for the guys on the receiving end. Watching Maggie, it makes it comical. As I enter the living room, Maggie looks up at me and smiles.

“Hey D, Michael and I were just getting to know each other.”

“I heard Mags. And that was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.” I reply, laughing harder.

“What? You do the same thing when I bring a guy home.” She replies innocently. Then before I can respond, she cuts her eyes back onto Michael.

“Okay, so I’m not that intimidating. But if you mess with her, I have two brothers and a dad that will bring a wrath upon you that you never saw coming. She’s my sister, don’t hurt her.”

Next thing I know, Maggie has wrapped me in a big hug as she whispers in my ear.

“He’s cute, D. Have fun. I’m so happy for you.”

Then she’s off and in her room, leaving me with a smiling and very handsome Michael. He’s tall, but then again most people are tall compared to my five foot, four inch, hour glass frame. He’s wearing a black polo shirt with khaki pants. He’s skinny, but not scrawny. His shaggy blonde hair looks like he has ran his fingers through it quite a bit on his way over here. I wonder if he’s as nervous as I am.

He stands up, coming over to me, and hugs me. Instantly, I relax in his arms. I feel warmth and safety with him. I call out my goodbye to Maggie as we leave.

Dinner was great, conversation once again flowing freely. The movie was nice. We are almost home. Do I invite him in? What does he expect? It’s been so long since I dated anyone, even for a casual evening. He follows all the rules and has me home with five minutes to spare at the front door. As I unlock my door, I look over my shoulder and ask.

“Do you want to come inside?”

“Dina, I would love to, but I want to take things slow. You’ve had a long year full of change. There will be more nights for me to come inside.” Michael replies.

I smile up at him, thinking he really is too good to be true. We are in college most guys would not only want to be inside my apartment, but inside me as well. Not Michael, he’s being respectful not only of my body, but of my emotional needs as well. I reach up and gently stroke his cheek with the back of my hand. He leans down tenderly, and with a featherlike touch, his lips reach mine. The connection sends shudders through my body. My heart now beating faster, I feel alive once again. That simple kiss breathes new life into my meager existence.

Michael has the self-control of a saint. We’ve been dating for four months now. He even went home with me for the anniversary of my parents deaths. Slowly, day by day, I’ve come to rely on him more. In that moment, he was my rock. As we stood at their tombstones, he held me while I cried.

We both decided to stay in Charlotte for the summer. I’m not ready to face life back in my childhood home. It’s one thing to visit. I stay in my room, as if they are there. The furniture stays exactly the same. If I close my eyes, I can allow my mind to drift. I can pretend they are away for the weekend. That house will never be the same. I can’t live there but I can’t let go of it either.

Maggie is spending the summer here as well. Things are good for her. She has started exclusively dating Brayden recently. He lives here year round, and she stayed for him. This is the first truly committed relationship I’ve seen my bestie in.

She has been spending more time at his place than she has here. I have yet to meet Brayden, but from what Mag’s says he’s a tame compared to his roommate Ryder, he’s a wild one. She’s never seen him with the same girl twice.

Hearing that makes me especially grateful for what I have found with Michael. Most college guys are in it for a quick bang. I’m glad Michael and I share more. As time passes, though, I begin to wish Michael would be in for a bang. We’ve made out, but nothing beyond kissing and groping with our clothes on. When I’ve tried to take it further, he’s pulled me back. He says it’s a timing thing. Once he gets to a certain level of excitement, he claims he won’t be able to stop himself, so I better be ready. According to him, I’m not ready to give myself to him at that level. Damn, I want him to lose control with me. If he only knew my deepest desires involve him being deep inside me. Not only has Michael brought me back to the land of the living, but he’s stirred my body back to life as well. When he’s around I have a constant hum in my core, an ache begging to be satisfied.

We have dinner plans tonight. I do my hair in an up do, hoping by exposing my neck Michael will be unable to resist. Going in Maggie’s closet, I find a low cut, cocktail length, little black dress to wear. Tonight, I’m dressed for seduction.

The knock at the door alerts me to Michael’s arrival. Opening the door, I smile sweetly at him. For a moment, time stands still. Michael drinks me in. Feeling a tugging deep in my belly, I confidently reach up and pull him down to kiss me. He’s stiff and unwilling at first. This shakes me for a moment, what is wrong? Before I finish that thought, he relaxes, taking over and pulling me closer.