Craving (19 page)

“What is this?”

He was watching me closely, almost expectantly, as if waiting for a premonition. “This is the arm of a body that was discovered behind an abandoned house, almost one year ago. It had been drained of blood and washed clean of all evidence.”

I picked up the picture and traced the slice marks with my fingertips. “Are these . . . like the ones on Eva’s arm?”

“Yes, but your sisters were shallow. The M.E.’s report said that this man’s hand was nearly severed.”

“Do you think—” I hesitated. After all, he had said that there was no case. “That they’re connected?”

“He was stabbed in the neck.”

“Could be a coincidence.”

“Before he was chewed on by what the M.E. suspected was a person.”

My mouth fell open. How many men had she killed? He saw the look on my face and nodded.

“After what you told me earlier, I did some more research and found this. I put the two together.”

My heart was thumping again, restless to get out and away from the approaching danger of the monster’s den.

“I guess this disproves the whole tree falling in a forest argument, huh?” I said quietly.

His expression wouldn’t let up and that’s when I knew there was more.

“Which leads me to my next point. How well do you know Arthur?”

I stopped myself before I could blurt out an answer that was completely subjective and unsupported. I
didn’t
know him, no matter how good he was at making me feel like I knew him. The past few days had taught me nothing if not to be skeptical of all my senses at all times.

“I don’t know him, but I
feel
him, Unger. He’s a good guy.”

Unger slid a sheet of paper to me. It was a photocopy of a land deed. “The coffee shop is in Sam’s name, not his. Arthur Godard has no credit history, no bills, no bank accounts. As far as I can tell, he doesn’t even have a Social Security number.” He took a deep breath. “The man doesn’t exist.”

I stared at him. I could see from the look on his face that he desperately wanted me to prove myself his equal, but no matter how much I wanted to be the skeptic he needed. I couldn’t. There was not a single thing about Arthur that made me suspicious, not even his lack of a background.

“I trust him.”

“Because you had a vision of him helping you?” Unger demanded.

“Because he has made no demands, nor jeopardized my safety,” I replied evenly, wondering just how many times I’d be caught paraphrasing Arthur. “When he does, then I’ll think back.”

He took back the papers and closed the folder impatiently. “By then, it may be too late.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I want you to be on your toes! We’re walking a tightrope here, and I have no idea what’s on the ground below.”

I got to my feet and looked out the window, forcing myself to stay calm. “I get it, but right now, I have no choice. He was Eva’s only friend, and that means something.”

I waited for him at the door while he paid his bill and then we walked together to the coffee shop in silence. I wasn’t sure what else could be said. I was winging it and nothing I tried to say to appease him would come out sounding authentic. Not only that, but with each step that took me closer to Arthur, the more I anticipated seeing him.

By the time we crossed the threshold, I was jittery with happiness and before Unger could protest, I had gone through the bindery and up to Arthur’s apartment. I didn’t even bother to knock, which was ridiculous of me, but when he didn’t punish my misbehavior, it just made me more likely to barge in.

He looked up from his books and raised an eyebrow.

“Srotapanna,” I stated triumphantly, “the stream-enterer.”

His eyes seemed to glitter as he turned away, concealing his smirk from me. “That had been building a while. You could have asked before.”

“I don’t want a teacher. I want a friend,” I countered as I came up behind him as quietly as possible to show off the ninja stealth of my cute new shoes. My hand wrapped around his head, but before I could tap him, he took hold of my fingers with gentle firmness and pulled me forward. With my face that close to his, I could almost imagine what it would be like to kiss him, if that wasn’t a crime against everything sacred.

“Ah, so you draw a line between them?” he pondered. “I wonder why.”

I shrugged and gave him a light hug. “Probably some kind of psychological hang-up about being outpaced by my peers.” He let me go and I stepped back, feeling as shy and stupid as I ought to, but brave and forceful as a woman possessed.

“Knowing is the first step toward correction,” he said with a chuckle.

“You sound like G.I. Joe.” I tossed myself onto his sofa. “So Anna is a stream-enterer, one step closer to enlightenment, free from the first three taints: selfhood, skepticism, and ritual?
And
I’ve got a kickass outfit. Not bad for a day at the mall.” I felt high, like I was in on some amazing truth that no one else would ever understand. “So what happens to her now?”

“I have no idea.” He turned the page.

“Do you think she’ll ever shoplift again?”

He picked up a separate book and laid it open. Stacks of discarded books littered his floor and the chair beside the desk, but just as I expected, Eva’s book was at the center, still open. “I doubt it very much. She has no reason to.”

“So you’re okay with inducing enlightenment, but won’t claim to be a Buddhist, why?”

He leaned back in his chair, his hands joining behind his head. “Ideas evolve, just like animals,” he replied. “They play off one another, compete, and eventually are selected for their continued relevance. To group them all together under a name, to use that name as an explanation, a definition, is to confine those ideas and deny their complexity.”

I wiggled farther into the cushions and sighed happily, able to, for at least a moment, pretend nothing was going to happen. “So you’re saying that what the Buddha said was great, but that over time, the ideas change?”

“And to continue to ascribe to all of them is to deny the very truths at the heart of the Buddha’s teachings,” he finished.

“Which truths are those? And don’t say anything about desire.”

He clucked his tongue. “Shouldn’t you be preparing?”

“I
am
preparing. Contrary to what you think, I go in for the shrewdness more than I do for the swords. I’m a spirit ninja.”

He seemed to find that amusing. “I apologize.”

“So which truths?”

“Do you know much about the context of the philosophy?” he asked and it sounded almost like a hypothetical.

I closed my eyes. “I know where he lived and whatnot.”

“All faiths have a purpose, and that is to explain the aspects of reality most important to the culture in which they thrive. The Hindu faith was dominant in that part of the world,” he explained, “and one of its chief ideas was to explain why men suffered. It reached the conclusion that they suffered because of something they had done, if not in this life, then in a past one.”

“Karma, right?”

I could hear him moving books aside. “Yes. But the Buddha’s experiences told him that even the wealthiest could suffer, that suffering was inevitable, and that there was not, yet, any earthly way in existence to be rid of it. What he discovered during his meditations changed everything. The First Truth: to live is to suffer. The Second Truth: desire is the cause of suffering. The Third Truth: that suffering
can
be ended, and the Fourth . . .”

“The Eightfold Path,” I interrupted, “the means to end suffering. So what are you saying?”

He made a scolding sound at my enthusiasm. “Buddha’s teachings were not simply what they said, but also what they
did
.”

I thought about it while I listened to the smooth slipping of leather cover against leather cover. “You mean make revisions to Hinduism to,” I quoted with a smile, “make use of all the facts in evidence?”

“You are learning quickly. Soon there will be nothing for me to
not
teach you.”

I opened my eyes and looked at him, thinking of Unger’s revelations, trying to will him into that wonderful insightfulness so that he would clarify his identity or lack thereof without me having to ask. “And on that day you’ll tell me your life story,” I pressed, hoping he could hear the need in my voice.

If he did, he gave no sign. “You will learn everything you wish to know.”

I sighed, my heart sinking just a bit. The truth was, I could no more imagine Arthur owning things than I could imagine him killing a man. It just wasn’t him. However, there was that one tiny part of me, the one that had said Eva would never do something so stupid, constantly whispering to doubt him. But it had been wrong about Eva and I had learned that skepticism was in no way any more useful than belief.

“So the people who followed Buddha are only seeing half the message?” I mused.

“Freedom from ritual,” he replied. “The third taint.”

“Oh,” I exclaimed, leaning forward, “they’re falling back into the adherence to a dogma, instead of pondering the truths of the universe like you do all day.”

He looked at me with an expression that was unmistakable. I was poking fun at him and it did nothing but reflect negatively on me, something he obviously did not want, or rather, did not want me to want.

“Sorry, I meant it as a compliment.”

“Did you?”

I shrugged playfully. “Okay, you got me. It was more of a careless joke.”

“Hmm.”

He seemed to forget about me then as he became absorbed in his reading materials. I couldn’t at that time, with all I was about to face, make room in my mind for what he was thinking. I would leave the detective work to him and Unger. I would slay the bad guys, but just recalling my mission planted a seed of nausea in my gut.

“You’re going to make me feel better about this, right?”

He shook his head vaguely. “You do not have to do it, Lilith.”

“True, but that would be dishonest. Someone told me that that kind of thing was bad.”

“If they had to tell you, then perhaps you needed to hear it,” he mumbled.

I folded my arms and tried to compress my abdomen. Much of my discomfort came down to having a plan. I had no idea what I was going to do to prevent Ursula from turning the contestant into a steak, but Arthur had sparked in me a notion that knowledge and tranquility were the most powerful of weapons. Time would tell if he was right, or if Unger’s warning should have been heeded.

“Arthur?”

“Yes, Lilith?”

“Am I a stream-enterer?”

My forehead tingled as if he had touched me there, but not even his eyes shifted. “Do you know the word
dharma
?”

I dipped my head. “Duty.”

“More specifically?” he prodded.

“To uphold the universe,” I recalled, though I had no idea what that meant.

“You do not have to go to the club tonight, but you are choosing to act on what you saw. You are upholding the
dharma
to end suffering and keep the universe in balance.” His voice softened and he shut the book in his hand. “If you must ask the question, then you are not ready. If you accept the
dharma
without
question, then you are what you are.”

I heaved a sigh of false annoyance. “Cryyyyyptic.”

“But true.”

“I suppose you’re right,” I said, though I know he heard the hesitation in my voice.

There was a perfunctory knock on the door and Unger poked his head inside. “It’s time. We need to have a plan.”

Arthur waved and both Unger and Sam nudged their way inside and leaned against the walls.

“Sam will tail you, Lilith,” Unger declared with a suspicious look at Arthur’s back. “When you go into the room, he’ll follow. Sam, keep an eye on her no matter what. I’m sure you know what a ‘protective detail’ is?”

Sam grunted.

“If you need help or if something goes wrong,” Unger hinted, avoiding using the words “henchmen” or “mind-reading,” “call us. Arthur, you have a cell phone?”

Arthur was smiling. “No.”

Unger scowled. “Then how are we supposed keep in touch?”

I looked back and forth between them. It was the old ritual of wolf versus wolf for alpha status, but Arthur was nothing if not free from ritual. He stood up and turned around with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Detective. I’m not very good with technology, but I’ll bow to whatever orders you give most happily.”

With a sigh and a brief pointed look at me, Unger reached into his pocket and tossed something black at Arthur. As if he’d expected it, Arthur caught the projectile and revealed it to be an older model phone.

“I’ve already entered our numbers into it and set them for the first three speed-dial numbers. If it rings, answer it.”

Arthur examined the piece of machinery in amusement. “How auspicious that you had an extra.”

“Lilith,” Unger said, turning to me as if about to lecture, “don’t do anything heroic. You’re there to do one thing, dissuade her with whatever she’ll see in your head. That’s it. Assuming of course that the woman can actually
do
what you say she can.” He massaged his temples in what was definitely self-loathing. “When things get scary, call us immediately.”

I gave a stoic nod, but I knew what was really going to happen. I was already experienced with thinking outside of a time loop. If Ursula saw what was in my head, I would be relieved of my telephone instantly. There was no way Sam would make it into the room. All the preparation was pointless except for the few words that made me feel better about what I was going to do. I looked at Arthur. He was examining my face, his blue eyes staring at me meaningfully.

“We set?” Unger inquired.

The three of us nodded.

“Break,” he muttered and led the charge.

On the street, I took hold of Arthur’s arm. “Will you ride with me? I want to talk to you.”

I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to say to him, but I knew it had to be said, just in case I never came back.

He nodded. Unger tried to make me feel like the idiot I was with a glare, but could see that there was no choice.

“Make sure you let him off
before
you park, so that they don’t see us together.”