Craving HIM (Serving HIM Vol. 7) (26 page)

I’d known going in that Dominic Snow was a risky bet. I’d played the game anyway and I’d lost.

Slipping a hand down to cup my belly, I found myself smiling. It was a sad, bittersweet smile, but it was there. I’d lost…but I’d won, too.

Neither of us had planned for this to happen, but that was okay. I’d make it work and he’d move on. I wouldn’t let myself think about what came after the moving on part.

It would have to be enough that he had loved me in his own way. For a while, at least.

***

I checked the flight confirmation and grimaced. It was the best I could do. I’d have to spend the next day at a hotel, but that was fine. I was exhausted anyway. I’d booked the hotel under my mother’s name. Traveling with Dominic over the past few months had taught me some tricks about privacy and yeah, I might have to blur the lines of truth when I went to check in, but I didn’t have a problem with that at this point.

I had clothes that I always kept ready to grab in case Dominic decided on a last minute weekend—or weeklong—trip and I took every last piece that came to hand, as well as anything else that I could shove into a suitcase. I’d have to do some shopping when I got home, but it wasn’t like the clothes I’d bought in the city would work back there anyway.

Home.

I laughed weakly as I looked at the suitcases I’d placed by the door. Where was home anymore?

It felt like here, but home couldn’t be anywhere that reminded me of Dominic. I could raise a baby on my own, but I couldn't be near him.

There was a gentle knock at the door. I breathed out a sigh of relief. Vincent had made good time. I’d been awake since four and I’d called him as soon as I’d made up my mind, hoping and praying Dominic wouldn’t wake up.

Vincent stood on the other side of the door, his face somber and concerned.

The concern got me right in the heart and I could feel myself getting all weepy so I held up a hand before he said anything. Shaking my head, I looked at the luggage and gave him a hopeful look. I could tell by the expression on his face that he wasn’t happy, but he nodded and grabbed the two big suitcases while I took my carry-on and flight bag.

He waited until we were on our way before finally asking, “Miss Aleena, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“I’m leaving.” I met his eyes in the rearview mirror and didn’t flinch at the shocked look in his eyes. What was the point in softening the blow? I still needed to adjust to it myself. “Please, Vincent. Don’t tell Dominic.”

He gave me a pained look. “Miss Aleena, that will get me fired.”

He was right. I couldn’t do that to him.

“Okay.” Nodding, I said it again. “Okay. Look, can you just…wait until later? You usually only drive me around and…I don’t know. Hell, I’m giving you the day off once you get me into the city. I need to go by the penthouse and get some things, and then you can drop me off and take the rest of the day. You’re not due in until Monday. Can you figure things out after that?”

“I was going to go fishing later today. I’ll just…I guess I’ll forget to take my phone.”

“Catch a big one for me, then.”

He caught me in a hug. I squeezed him back, my eyes watering.

A gull squawked overhead and we broke apart. When he turned and grabbed the bags, I took a moment to wipe my eyes. I felt like my heart had cracked, bits and pieces falling out with every passing second. It wasn’t just Dominic that I was leaving. It was everything, the life I’d built here, the friends.

But I’d build another life. A life where I would be a mother.

Dominic would be okay, too. Okay…and probably relieved.

I’d left him a note.

As Vincent loaded my bags into the trunk, I found myself thinking of what I’d written. It had taken more than I'd thought I had to get through it.

Dear Dominic,

I know this wasn’t what you had in mind, me getting pregnant. It’s sweet of you to offer to marry me, but the last thing you ever wanted was to be tied down with a wife and kid.

The last thing I ever wanted was to have a man with me because he felt like he had to be. If you really wanted to have a family with me, it would make all the difference in the world, but we each want something different in life. We each need something different. I saw that clearly last night.

Love isn’t always enough.

Thank you so much for what you’ve given me, for the world you’ve shown me.

Be good to yourself, Dominic.

Love, Aleena

Chapter 24

Dominic

Be good to yourself.

I read those words without really understanding just what I was reading.

Be good to yourself.

Abruptly, I crumpled the letter into my hand and spun around, hurling it against the wall.

Some part of me was disappointed that it didn’t break into a thousand pieces on impact. I wanted to hear something shatter and fall to pieces, the way I felt my world was shattering.

But all the paper did was fall to the floor. It didn’t make so much as a whisper when it touched and I spun around, driving my fist into the wall. It went straight through the drywall and I pulled my hand out, hit another spot. There was a support beam there and pain lit up my arm like a streak of lightning. I welcomed it and sank to the floor, staring at the blood that dripped in a red flow from my hand.

Be good to yourself.

Numbness crept through me as blood dripped down to splatter on the floor. The red spread and spread and spread and I blinked, almost mesmerized.

“I asked you to marry me,” I said to the empty room.

She’d been asleep.

Or so I’d thought.

Rage began to pulse inside me. I needed to scream, to hit something else. I needed to let it out somehow.

She thought I didn't want her. Didn't want...

Baby.

Our baby.

I swallowed, the knot in my throat making it hard to breathe or speak. The pain in my head made it hard to even think. The pain in my soul made it hard to do anything. She’d left me and it was like she’d taken all the color, all the light, out of my world.

How could she think that I didn't want her? Didn't want them both?

I saw that clearly last night
.

I'd asked her to marry me last night.

And she'd left, taking everything good with her.

She was taking herself out of my world…our baby.

“No.”

The word gave me the strength I needed to get to my feet.

I wasn’t going to lose Aleena and I wasn’t going to lose our baby. They were my everything. My family.

***

She’d taken her luggage from the Hamptons house.

Vincent wasn’t answering the phone.

I’d wasted precious time tearing the house up looking for her and trying to call her and I realized just how much time when I got to the penthouse. She’d already come and gone.

Most of her things were gone. All of her luggage, her outerwear, so many of her clothes. It was odd how attuned I’d become to her, but when I was going through our closet, I could tell right away what was missing.

The sexy red sweater dress, the sleek black business two piece. The blue shirt dress. The green evening dress. She’d taken an evening dress? Did that mean something? But then I remembered she’d kept that dress on hand for when we had a quick out of town visit.

She’d packed in a hurry, I realized. I all but tore out of the penthouse. I had to find Vincent. He was the only one she would have trusted to take her anywhere. He was the only one who would have done this without telling me shit.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” Stuart told me, his voice polite and his eyes clearly saying kiss my ass.

He'd seen Aleena.

“It’s Vincent’s weekend off. I believe he had a fishing trip planned with some friends for today.”

A… “Did you say a fishing trip?” I asked, forcing myself not to yell.

“Yes, Mr. Snow.” Stuart neatly folded his hands on the concierge stand in front of him and smiled at me. It was a polite bland smile, not the friendly one he’d given me for so long.

“What do you mean he’s on a fucking fishing trip?” I half-shouted. “He’s supposed to be on hand for Aleena. What the fuck?”

“Sir.” Stuart drew his shoulders back and I could all but see the steel slamming into his spine. “I believe Vincent was thinking it would be a nice day to relax as he's been on-call twelve days straight and Miss Aleena specifically told him she wouldn’t need his services anymore this weekend.”

I latched on that in desperation. “Aleena. He’s seen Aleena.”

“I believe so, yes.” Stuart kept his eyes straight ahead.

I moved in and braced my hands on the front of the stand, looming over him, but he still didn’t look up.

Over the years of being a business man, I’d picked up on some things. There are people who will look at you no matter what, people who will look at you when it’s easy, people who can’t look at you when it matters…Stuart wasn’t looking at me and I knew it mattered.

I found myself thinking that Aleena always managed to look at me, even if it was only for a little while.

“Where is Vincent? Where is Aleena?” I asked quietly.

“As I said, Vincent decided to go fishing today.” He looked me dead in the eye as he responded to that question. “But as to Miss Aleena…? I really can’t say.”

I watched the way his fingers tightened on the sides of the doorman’s stand—his post. He took his job seriously and with no small amount of pride. He was a good employee.

But he was in my way.

“Do you like your job?” I asked conversationally.

His mouth tightened, but he didn't pull away. “I don’t like it enough to betray somebody I consider a friend. It would appear you fucked up…Sir. Maybe you should fix it. I don’t think threatening me is the way to do it.”

Who the hell did he think he was? I opened my mouth to tell him he could kiss his job good-bye...and the truth of his words hit me. I wrenched myself away from the stand. Turning my back to him, I scrubbed my hands over my face. Think, Dominic…think…

Stuart wasn’t wrong.

I’d fucked up.

But I couldn’t understand how.

I saw that clearly last night.

What had I done?

All I did was ask her to marry me.

I didn’t realize I’d spoken out-loud. Not right away at least.

Stuart was standing in front of me, watching me strangely.

“What?” I demanded.

“You asked her to marry you?”

Oh, fuck.

I shoved a hand through my hair. “Is that any business of yours?”

He gave me a troubled look. “You asked her to marry you, but she still left? She loves you. Why would she have left?”

Shit.

This time it was my words that echoed in my head.

We should get married
.

I glared at him and then spun on my heel and stalked back toward the doors.

I hadn’t asked her to marry me. I’d told her that I thought we should get married. Was that the problem? Was that why she thought I didn't want her? That I didn't want our baby?

***

There were only so many places she could go in New York. I’d already checked all of my hotels and she wasn’t staying at any of them.

I’d called Molly and Molly told me she hadn’t heard from Aleena in over a week—she’d been out of the country on vacation. She’d sounded genuinely confused and angry by the time the call was over, and I hadn't even told her about Koren or the baby.

I didn't feel bad about it though. I was still angry and worse, I was getting scared. It took me nearly half the day to get to Fawna’s house. It was late afternoon now. Aleena had almost a day’s head-start on me.

The cute, pudgy little guy lying on a blanket on the floor didn’t even resemble the wizened creature I’d first seen lying in the hospital, hooked up to wires and tubes. He made one of those funny baby noises when he saw me looking at him and waved a fist in my direction.

“Hi.”

He laughed. It was a bright sound, the kind that made me want to smile back at him except I didn’t have any smiles inside me right now. Not even for him.

“He’s a baby, Dominic. He’s not going to bite...well, unless you put your finger in his mouth.”

Looking up to see Fawna watching me from the door, I managed a weak smile. “Babies make me nervous.”

“Lack of practice,” she said pragmatically.

She went over to Eli and scooped him up, settling him on her hip with the ease of experience. Then she came toward me and before I knew what she was up to, she placed him in my lap. Instinctively, my hands caught him.

“Hey!”

The baby jumped at my sudden outburst, his eyes going wide.

His mouth parted as he stared at me.

I stared back.

He waved another chubby fist in my direction.