Craving Perfect (5 page)

You know that sound check promo they play in the big movie theaters before the start of every movie? The one where it sounds like a freight train, a helicopter, and a 747 passenger plane are about to land inside the theater? Right next to your seat? That was exactly how loud my heart and temples pounded. The two competing sounds converged inside my head like competing fighter planes.

But then the room grew too bright and I realized my eyes were closed. I inhaled deeply, desperately trying to mind-meld with my heart that it needed to slow down. Badly. I wondered if I was having a heart attack, but no one was pounding against my chest.

Then I realized what I had done.

“No,” I muttered with my eyes squeezed shut. I’d fallen again, obviously.
Just freakin’ great
…What was my problem? I’d never wanted to crawl up into a little ball and turn into a pile of dust more than this very instant.
This can’t be happening
again.
It just can’t.

When my heartbeat finally slowed, after a handful of more deep breaths, it became easier to focus. I forced one eye open. But with the bright light above me, I started to wonder whether I was on an operating table. Or being held captive inside an alien ship.

Dear god, please let it be an alien ship.

Even being dissected on an alien ship would be less painful than falling again in Goldie’s Gym, or worse, in front of Max Kramer especially if he had happened to pass by while I was in the clutches of jogging endorphin-land. I swallowed back that cruel possibility, tasted dry lips, and then forced myself to concentrate. The sooner I got up and drove home, the better. I couldn’t play dead forever.

“Callie?” someone said.

It was a man’s voice. His tone was gentle but urgent.

“Callie, babe, are you okay?” he said again.

A hand pressed against my cheek. The skin was pleasantly cool. Someone lifted my limp hand and patted my wrist. I figured it was probably Kathryn but when I inhaled, I didn’t smell lavender.

“Come on, Callie,” another voice said, a woman. “Are you okay? Say something!” The voice bordered on shrill and squeaky, and it sounded oddly familiar. But it was too shrill to be Kathryn.

Curious, I opened my eyes. Even as I tried to raise my head, someone pushed back against my shoulder, gently. It was that same cool hand again.

Carlos, maybe?
I wondered.
That wouldn’t be so bad. At least he’ll know what to do.

“What should we do, Max?” the woman said.

Max?
I moaned to myself.
Damn it! Not again!
Now I really wanted to die. This was more than one girl could handle.

I’d fallen again. That much was clear.

My eyes squeezed shut again and I hoped that, eventually, these people would simply go about their workouts and leave me alone.

“Come on, Callie. Say something. You’ll be okay,” Max said.

My eyes blinked open.
Who is Callie? Did she fall too?

I studied their faces. One of the faces kneeling over me definitely belonged to Max. I’d know that square jaw line anywhere. The other belonged to Alexandra Summers, probably anxious to use the new treadmill.

“Don’t worry, Alexandra.” My words slurred and stuck to my throat. “I’ll get up. You can have the treadmill…”

But Alexandra turned to Max and shook her blond ponytail, the kind that always remained obnoxiously glued inside a hair tie with nary a hair out of place. “What’s she talking about?” she asked him.

Max leaned close enough to my face so that I could feel breath. I even noticed the stubble on his chin. I fought the urge to reach up and stroke it with my thumb, just as I’d imagined doing a million times. Jeez, he could sell razors with that adorable stubble…

“Callie, we’ll help you up now. Ready?” Max said.

Why are you being so nice?
I wondered as Max lifted me to a sitting position.

He continued to grip my shoulders so tightly that I couldn’t help but sink back into his arms. I looked up at him, speechless, cherishing the moment, unusual as it was. I figured I might as well make the best of another humiliating situation. I even thought about kissing him. Who cared if he called me by the wrong name?

“Come on, Callie,” he said in such a tender voice that I swear it almost made me cry. No man had ever talked to me so tenderly, so sweetly. As though I was special. He pulled me to my feet as if I was as light as a bag of potato chips. His hands never left my shoulders. I stared up into his hazel eyes and practically melted into a puddle. Then my eyelids began to flutter as if I’d just lost a contact.

He must think me an idiot
, I mumbled to myself, still drunk on his eyes.

“Here, let her lean on me,” Alexandra offered.

“No,” Max said, “I got her.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and my entire body tingled. If this was what getting struck by lightning felt like, where could I sign up for more? “Let’s get her to my car.”

Car?
My back went rigid.

“Good,” Alexandra said. “’Cause I got to get her to work for the noon show. We’re late as it is.”

My heart began to pound all over again like it was getting ready for lift-off. “Show? What show?” I stammered, turning back to Max, finally able to utter a complete, albeit short, sentence. “What is wrong with everybody?”

Alexandra and Max each grabbed one of my arms and led me toward the front entrance, ignoring me. I looked sideways from one to the other but no one would answer. And it was as if my lips had turned to rubber. I was thirsty.

“Water,” I begged.

“Sure, Callie.” Max stopped. “Over here, babe.” He guided me to the drinking fountain in the corner of the weight room, the one in front of mirrors, the same mirrors that I pretended didn’t exist. Whenever I got anywhere near, I’d turn away. Or close my eyes.

I lowered my head as we approached the fountain. I wasn’t ready to see my pudginess in the mirror, especially wedged between Alexandra and Max—Arizona’s version of Barbie and Ken. Clearly this had to be someone’s idea of a cruel joke.

When does someone cue the laugh track?

With eyes barely open, I stood in front of the fountain and lowered my head. The water was refreshingly cold. I took several long gulps, almost as if I’d never tasted water before. I was so incredibly thirsty. If they’d have let me, I could have bathed in the metal fountain. Filling my hands with a cupful, I splashed some against my cheeks.

“Easy, there.” Max chuckled, his hand, weirdly, still wrapped around my arm. “Save some for the rest of us.” He gave my arm a squeeze. My skin tingled again.

With eyes still closed, I took one last, greedy gulp. Then, very slowly, I raised my head and took another deep breath to steady myself. My breathing had stopped echoing inside my head and my heart had returned to near normal pumping levels. Cautiously, I cracked open both eyes, slowly at first, so that they were only tiny slits.

I expected to see Max and Alexandra, laughing at me. Or at the very least, obnoxious grins stretched across their faces.

But instead of grins, I saw myself standing in front of the drinking fountain, Max’s hand still gripping my arm—except the arm didn’t belong to me. His hand gripped someone else.

A gush of air left my mouth.

Max’s face darkened. “What’s wrong, Callie?”

I shook my head and then squeezed my eyes shut.
Let’s try this again
, I told myself.

“Yeah, what’s wrong? Can I get you something else? Some juice, maybe?” Alexandra asked from my left side. “You look like you could use some vitamin C. And a D shot.”

“You can leave me alone now. I’ll be fine.” I spoke through clenched teeth after having returned my eyes to the squeezed-shut position. “And my name is Grace, not Callie.”

Max tugged on my arm. “What are you talking about?”

“I told you we should have called the paramedics,” Alexandra piped in.

Max dropped my arm. But then his hands reached for my shoulders, gently shaking me till my eyes finally opened. “Callie, come on. Quit joking. You’re starting to seriously freak me out.”

I drew back a breath till my ribs stretched. Then I raised my head and looked up at him. My whole body went a little limp again. The man was pure perfection. Finally, I braced myself. “My name is Grace.”

Max pursed his lips and tilted his head. “I think maybe you did too much partying last night with Alexandra.” Another chuckle.

“Oh, yeah.” I didn’t bother to hide my sarcasm. “We’re tight. We party a lot.”

“What about me?” Alexandra brightened at the mere mention of her name. Her arms folded across obvious chest implants as she stood closer to Max. Just like Max, she peered back at me as though I was a newly discovered species at the Phoenix Zoo.

Max reached down and placed his hand underneath my chin. For a second, I got the strange feeling that he was going to lean down and kiss me. My body froze, waiting for that kiss, something I’d dreamt about for months. But then my head went all white noise and fuzzy because, really, this couldn’t be happening. None of it. I must have really whacked my head this time. Hard!

Instead, Max smirked and said, “Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“But, I’ve got my own car here…I’ll…I’ll manage, thanks,” I stammered, wide-eyed and still dizzy. I still couldn’t believe that Max Kramer was offering to drive me home, not to mention stroking my chin like I was some kind of kitten. I wanted to step back but my spine was wedged against the drinking fountain.

Max narrowed his eyes, dimpling his brow. “What are you talking about? We came together. I drove. I stayed at your place last night, remember?”

“Whaaaaat?” It came out almost like a laugh. I spun around and leaned over the fountain, rethinking my earlier desire to bathe in it. After three more long gulps, and a splash across my face, I finally raised my head and closed my eyes as freezing cold water droplets spilled from my forehead onto my cheeks.

I’m going to count to three
, I said to myself.
And when I open my eyes, the world will return to normal.

One…

Two…

Three.

Slowly, my eyes peeled open and I stared back at my reflection. I raised my hand instinctively to the glass.

The woman who stared back at me looked nothing like me, except for my eyes. The eyes were mine, but nothing more. Unlike me, this woman was tall and willowy, with shoulder-length blond hair pulled back into the most perfect French braid, something my hair would never do. Diamond studs sparkled from both earlobes. She had a tiny upturned nose and the kind of complexion where a pimple or mole would not dare tread. She even wore skin-tight, powder blue spandex shorts with a powder blue running bra that barely covered her stomach and chest—not to mention ample cleavage. I guessed boob job. Definitely. With my other hand, I touched her waist—or maybe it was mine. I didn’t know. But the waist was sculpted and firm, the kind you see on department store mannequins. Just like the kind I always wanted, the kind I always dreamed of.

I watched my eyes—the eyes of this strange, perfect woman—fill with fear. In one slow motion, I raised my hand to cover a scream before falling limp into Max’s arms. Standing behind Max, I saw Carlos’s reflection. He looked straight at us, his head titled sideways.

“Help me,” I mouthed to him before the spinning bright lights faded.

“A nice, hot shower will make you feel all better, Callie,” Max said, one hand on the steering wheel of his red Mustang while his other caressed my knee.

My knee?!

I had to stop correcting everyone about my name. Even Front Desk Guy at the gym had called it out brightly as Max whisked me out the door in his arms. It felt very
Pretty Woman
cheesy.

“Bye, Callie,” he had gushed. “See ya tomorrow!”

I’d been too numb to respond. Yesterday, I didn’t know the kid had functioning vocal cords. Today we were BFFs.

I didn’t know how—or why—but something was definitely wrong with the universe. Somehow I had taken over someone else’s body or was stuck in some kind of weird dream. My hands hadn’t stopped trembling and it had nothing to do with Max’s thumb stroking the top of my boney kneecap. In his car. Finally I figured that I might as well play along till I woke up.

But what I couldn’t figure out was whether this was one of those good dreams that you didn’t want to end, or whether it would end with me running naked down a dark alley chased by zombies hungry for my flesh.

So far, as far as nightmares went, I couldn’t complain. After all, I was dating Max Kramer. How bad was that? He’d been glued to my side all morning. But what bothered me was that I could actually feel the warmth of his skin, the hairs on his arm, his fingers. All of him. And I could feel my body—or at least the body that I had hijacked.

I rubbed my hands together and then rubbed them against the tops of my legs.

“You cold? Want some heat?” Max glanced at me sideways.

“Maybe just a little bit.” I rubbed my legs with long strokes, legs that were tan and lean. It was hard not to stare. I’d never felt smoother skin. This Callie chick must shave her legs every damn day.

“Sure, babe.”

Babe?

I paused from fidgeting and peered at Max without turning my head.
It was Max Kramer, all right.
But never in a million years, in any of my best daydreams, did I ever picture myself as a passenger in his sports car, much less hearing him refer to me as
babe
. A lot.

While I waited for myself to wake up, my eyes lowered discreetly to the rest of my body. My hands ran up the sides of my arms, slowly, tentatively, like I was checking for broken bones. Long and thin like my legs, they were the kind of delicate arms I’d always wanted, the kind that always looked perfect in tank tops and sleeveless dresses.

Then my eyes traveled down to my feet, even though I figured this body to be close to six feet, my feet looked no bigger than a perfect size six. They were made for strapless shoes and gold sandals. I fought the urge to kick off my shoes for a better look. I guessed that Callie probably wore a silver toe ring too, and why wouldn’t she? I would with feet like these!