Read Craving Temptation Online
Authors: Deborah Fletcher Mello
“No. I can't sleep.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. You can ask me anything.”
“Are you still a virgin? I mean, have you been with a man that way?”
Amina smiled as she rolled to face her sister. “I've kissed some boys but yes, I'm still a virgin. I've never been intimate with any man.”
“Oh. I just thought . . . maybe . . . well . . . since you lived with Mother . . .”
“Muslim parents are not the only parents who preach no sex before marriage, Rasheeda. That was the one thing Mother and Father both agreed on. But Mother always said that I should wait for the right man; the man I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Then it would be the most beautiful experience I would ever have. She also said the right man would not only be willing to wait for me but that he would be willing to marry me first.”
“Father says we should wait just because he says so and he'll tell us who the right man is for us.”
Amina chuckled ever so softly. “So have you? Have you waited, Rasheeda?”
The young woman shrugged. She didn't bother to answer, instead dropping her head back against her pillow. A minute later she sat back up and leaned forward, allowing her body to slide off the bed to the carpeted floor. Sitting upright Amina peered down at her as she finally spoke.
“One of the mothers at the mosque told us that our husbands will educate us in the matters of sex; that they will teach us their likes and dislikes. She also said that our sexual needs are different from a man's. That a good wife should be an active partner and not a passive recipient to keep her husband from the many temptations that will be outside the home. She said anything that adds pleasure to the marital bed is permissible and commendable. Except anal. Anal is forbidden and a man who enters his wife through her back passage is cursed. And a good wife should always be available to please him and not give him an excuse to make a choice between her and the hellfire.”
“Do you believe all that?” Amina asked.
“I read a lot of romance stories. I sometimes think the more a woman knows the more a woman won't need to know. I can't help but wonder if a man might find that woman more desirable.”
Amina nodded. “I wonder that sometimes myself,” she said softly.
Rasheeda smiled. “Do you think Troy is the right man?”
Amina didn't have to consider the question at all. “I have no doubts.”
Rasheeda blew a deep sigh. “I'm really happy for you, Amina. I really am.”
Amina lay awake for some time, staring into the darkness. After crawling back into her bed Rasheeda had eased into a deep sleep and was snoring softly. Amina found her sister's breathing comforting, the lull of it soothing to her spirit. They were growing closer and that made her happy. Their earlier conversation had been one-sided, Rasheeda asking about her. But Amina was curious about her sister's dreams, wondering what things Rasheeda wanted for herself. She was hopeful that would be a conversation they'd be able to have soon.
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The Clay Pit restaurant was named for the tandoori oven in which many of the restaurant's Indian specialties and breads were baked. The menu included samplings of tandoori beef native to Pakistan, as well as an assortment of curries, vegetarian dishes, and the cuisines of Greece and the Middle East represented by dishes of hummus and baba ghanoush to spanakopita and moussaka. The common thread throughout all the diverse offerings was that the food was all halal. Basil had been raving about it since informing Amina of their dinner plans with Kareem Fayed.
For the first hour her brother had done nothing but rave about all things Kareem, reading the man's résumé as if he were the who's who of accomplishments.
“So, tell me more about your work with the young men's group,” Amina said, finally able to interject a question into the conversation.
Kareem leaned forward on his elbows, clasping his hands in front of him. He was as eager to talk about himself as Basil was. “I find it extremely rewarding,” he said. “We have too many young men who are losing their way and it warms my spirit to guide them back onto the right path. I was just telling Basil today about a young brother who is challenged with issues of his sexuality. We've spent a lot of time in prayer and he's coming around.”
“How is he coming around?”
“He understands that family is important and marriage is an institution and provides the proper context for raising families.”
“So rather than accepting him as he is, you're telling him he needs to conform to the ideals others have of who he should be?”
“We do not break family ties in Islam, Amina. His parents would tolerate him but they would never be accepting of his behavior or his relationships if he chose to follow that behavior.”
“Is this young man not an observant Muslim?”
“He is. He strictly follows Islamic practices, prays five times a day, fasts during Ramadan, and he gives charitably. He's even made the pilgrimage to Mecca, which is why we want him to understand that his behavior is unacceptable.”
“But his sexuality and his faith are two meaningful aspects of his identity so why can't he balance both in his life?”
Kareem smiled, looking at her as if she didn't have a clue. “We don't encourage anything that is considered sinful, Amina, but we wholeheartedly support our brethren.”
“So your message is that you will hate the sin but love the sinner?”
Kareem reached out and patted the back of her hand. “We focus on traditional family values and our young men's group is focused on helping our young men define that. You might want to do some work with our young women once you yourself are comfortable with the faith. I imagine you might have much to offer them.”
Amina was thankful that he could not see the expression on her face. She dropped her gaze to the table, hoping that her dislike for him didn't show in her eyes. She blew a deep sigh as Basil jumped back into the conversation.
“Amina is licensed to practice law in three states,” he said. “Georgia, Tennessee, and Florida.”
Kareem gave her a bright smile. “Impressive. Where did you go to school, Amina?”
“The University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School. I earned both my undergraduate degree and my master's degree in business economics with a concentration on public policy. Then I earned my Juris Doctor from Duke University's law school.”
“Impressive!” Kareem chimed. “You've done so much in such a short period of time.”
“Not really,” Amina responded. “I graduated high school early. I was seventeen when I was accepted to college.”
“And you worked while you went to school, too! My, my, my!” Kareem said, his tone slightly patronizing.
Amina smiled. “Thank you. I will eventually get my doctorate in ethics and legal studies.”
Kareem's eyebrows lifted ever so slightly. “So you're hoping to go back to school?”
Her head waved from side to side. “I'm not hoping at all. I definitely plan to go back.”
She didn't miss the look Kareem and her brother exchanged. Basil rolled his eyes, annoyance like bad makeup across his face.
“What, Basil?”
“Amina, one would think that you would want to focus on being a good wife and mother. I know that is what Father is hoping for you. He is anxious to be a grandfather.”
“Then why don't you have some kids for him?” she snapped.
Kareem chuckled. “You have spirit, Amina. I like that. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful wife and an even better mother to our children. It will be important for our daughters to see their mother have goals and ambition.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell the man that she didn't really care what he liked but she bit back the retort instead.
As the two men fell into conversation Amina couldn't help but think that her being there had been a huge mistake. She hated that she'd allowed Basil and her father to bully her into meeting Kareem Fayed for dinner. She didn't like Kareem and there wasn't much that she was interested in knowing about him. The man was as egotistical and as chauvinistic as her brother. He also seemed convinced that a union between them was a done deal and that she should resolve herself to being a dutiful wife. He was in for a huge disappointment and didn't even know it.
Pushing the last of her dinner aside Amina came to her feet. “I hate to eat and run but I promised Father I'd be home early,” she said, spinning the truth in her favor. “Thank you for dinner, Kareem.”
Basil nodded.
Kareem came to his feet. “It was a pleasure, Amina. May I walk you to your car?”
She shook her head. “That won't be necessary. You and Basil stay and enjoy your dessert.”
The man looked like a Cheshire cat, his smile wide and full. “I look forward to us doing this again soon,” he said.
Amina nodded, not bothering to fake a smile beneath her veil. “Good night, Kareem.”
The two sisters were walking together arm in arm. Their giggling was infectious as Amina mimicked Kareem and Rasheeda did her best imitation of Basil. Since that first dinner, Kareem had become a fixture in their family home and an appendage at campaign headquarters. Where Kareem led, Basil followed, the two men like two narrow-minded peas-in-a-pod. Amina was thankful that the duo was so focused on their own interests that Kareem had no interest in her.
“Kareem makes my skin crawl,” Amina said out loud.
The two women paused curbside, looking in both directions before crossing the street. Their evening strolls together had become a staple in their daily schedules and both were thoroughly enjoying the time they shared.
“So what do you plan to do?” Rasheeda asked.
“At some point I'm going to have to tell him and Father that I have no intention of marrying him.”
“Telling Kareem won't be your problem. Father doesn't want you to tell him anything. He just wants you to listen and obey.”
Amina blew a deep sigh. “So, has Father picked a man out for you yet?”
Rasheeda nodded, her eyes lifting with the smile beneath her veil. “Yes.”
There was a moment of pause as Amina eyed her sister curiously. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Who is he? What's he like?”
Rasheeda laughed. “His name is Todd Bashir and he's away at medical school.”
“Where's he going to school?”
“He's at Johns Hopkins in Maryland.”
“A doctor! And you like him? You're really thinking about marrying him?”
Rasheeda shrugged, something in her gaze moving Amina to smile. Rasheeda chuckled and Amina laughed with her.
“I can't wait to meet him,” Amina said.
Their conversation continued as the two women hurried down the block. As they neared Beale Street and the bakery Amina's stride slowed significantly.
“What's wrong?” Rasheeda questioned.
Amina shook her head. “Nothing.”
But Rasheeda sensed it was something. A crowd was gathered inside the bakery and there were people lined up outside the door trying to gain admittance. From where they stood they could hear the sound of music vibrating through the windows. She tossed Amina a look, their two gazes meeting evenly. “So much for cookies,” she said.
They'd crossed the street and were both standing off to the side to peer in through the window. Amina took a quick step behind her sister when she saw the Elliott family gathered in their usual corner table. Harper was sitting with their friends Rachel and Dwayne and an elderly woman that Amina didn't recognize. The trio were staring toward the stage and the band. Shifting her gaze Amina was surprised to see Quentin playing saxophone, the alto timbre sending the sweetest sounds through the space. A wide smile pulled at her lips. She clutched her sister's arm as they stood staring with the rest of the crowd, completely mesmerized by the show that was unfolding.
She caught a glimpse of Troy out of the corner of her eye. He was moving toward his family, an attractive young woman by his side. She was as tall as him and model thin. She had a voluptuous bustline and a curvaceous backside. She wore an expensive designer dress that fit her enviable figure perfectly and the short length of her hair, a vibrant red, accentuated her face nicely. The two stopped short in the middle of the room as the woman spun her body around toward Troy, the two beginning to dance together. His dance partner pressed her body tight to his, wrapping her arms around him in a seductive embrace. Troy's hands rested against the line of her waist and he was laughing heartily at something she'd whispered in his ear.
Amina felt her breath leave her body like air seeping from a punctured balloon. She suddenly didn't know what to think, jealousy sweeping over her with a vengeance. She gasped, the grip she had on Rasheeda's arm tightening.
“What?” Rasheeda suddenly questioned, her head snapping in Amina's direction. “What's wrong?”
Her sister shook her head. Amina's eyes were wide as she struggled to look everywhere except in Troy's direction. “We need to go,” she said as she turned abruptly and rushed back across the street.
After throwing one last look through the bakery window Rasheeda rushed after her sister, calling out her name.
Movement out the window caught Troy's attention and he was surprised to see the two women in their hijabs running across the street. He bolted toward the door, leaving his dance partner standing with her mouth open but by the time he could push past the crowd to the sidewalk outside both women were gone, disappearing into the darkness.
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It was the third time her cell phone had rung, and, once again, Amina refused to answer it. Rasheeda stared at her, and Amina tossed her a look.
“What?”
“So you're not speaking to him now?”
“I'm angry.”
“I get that but how does he know you're mad at him if you don't answer your phone and tell him why you're upset?”
Amina eyed her sister with annoyance.
“I was just asking,” Rasheeda said, her nonchalant tone irritating Amina even more.
She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. The ringing stopped and she was tempted to turn off the device when it began to ring again.
“Answer the phone, Amina!”
“Why should I?”
“Because I want to know who that girl was that he was dancing with.”
“Then you answer it.”
Rasheeda tossed back her covers, moving as if she were getting out of her bed. Amina snatched the phone from its resting spot, depressing the ringer. The women stared at each other, Rasheeda's eyebrows raised questioningly and Amina's gaze narrowed. Rasheeda's face lifted into a bright smile, moving her sister to laugh, her head waving eagerly.
She blew a deep sigh. “Hello?”
“Hello,” Troy said, a sigh of relief blowing into the receiver.
“Who was that woman you were dancing with tonight?” The question was abrupt, her terse tone surprising them all.
Troy laughed. “Which one?”
“You danced with more than one?”
“I danced with quite a few. I would have danced with you too if you hadn't run away.”
“I didn't run away.”
“It looked like you were running away to me.”
There was a moment of pause before Amina spoke. “I suddenly feel like I'm fifteen and I caught my boyfriend kissing a cheerleader.”
Troy laughed. “Now that I didn't do. I didn't
kiss
anyone.”
“I don't know that.”
“Yes, you do.”
“How would I know that?”
“Because you trust me and you know I would never do anything with any other woman to disrespect you. As long as I'm kissing you I will not be kissing any other women.”
“Do I really?”
“You should know it, Amina. You should know it and you should trust me,” Troy said matter-of-factly.
Amina reflected on his words briefly. “I told my sister she was making something out of nothing. That girl really wasn't that cute.”
In the background Rasheeda giggled, clearly amused.
Troy laughed again. “Oh, she was cute. But make no mistake, my girl puts her cute to shame. My girl is extraordinarily beautiful. The most beautiful woman I know.”
Amina finally laughed with him. “I told Rasheeda that, too!”
“What are you doing?” Troy asked.
“I was headed to bed.”
“Come back to the bakery.”
Amina's eyes widened. “It's late. I can't come back to the bakery.”
“It's not late. And you could come if you wanted to come.”
“My father would have a fit.”
“Don't tell him. Just come.”
She met the look her sister was giving her. Rasheeda had leaned forward in her seat, her eager expression moving Amina to smile.
“And what are you going to do if I do come?”
“I'm going to dance with you. And then I'm going to kiss you. It will be my only kiss tonight.”
“You're crazy, Troy Elliott!”
“Crazy about you. So, are you coming?”
Amina could feel her heartbeat racing. “I'm on my way,” she said, her voice dropping to a loud whisper.
Thirty minutes later Amina stood outside the door of Just Desserts as Troy unlocked and opened it for her. As she stepped inside he leaned to kiss her cheek before locking the door back behind her. Amina met the intense stare he was giving her with her own, everything about the moment overwhelming.
From someplace upstairs Amina could hear Quentin playing his saxophone. The sounds were sweet and teasing and sexier than she could have ever imagined. Troy said nothing as he entwined his fingers between hers and led her to the center of the newly renovated space. He eased an arm around her waist and pulled her to him, his body nestling easily against hers. Amina wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders as Troy dropped his cheek against hers. His skin was heated and she gasped as it sent a rush of current throughout every nerve ending. A shiver coursed up the length of her spine. As the music danced in the air around them they did an easy slow drag, their bodies gliding from side to side against each other.
They danced until there was a sudden lull, the music ending abruptly. Troy continued to hold tight to her, the duo moving to a beat that only they could hear. And then he kissed her, his mouth dancing easily atop hers. It took her breath away and as his lips claimed hers, his tongue two-stepping with her tongue, Amina felt like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.
An hour later Amina crept back into the family home, easing her way back to the room she shared with her sister. Rasheeda was sleeping soundly as Amina locked herself in the bathroom, on the phone with Troy.
Trying to make amends for her behavior earlier, Amina really felt bad about how she'd behaved. Contrition echoed in her voice as she told him so, whispering her apology so as not to wake her sister. Understanding why she'd reacted so emotionally had been a learning experience for them both. Her going to him without giving it a second thought had told them both something as well.
For the first time Amina fully realized just how intense the depth of her emotions could be. Her connection to Troy was like a lifeline. It allowed her to breathe. It was necessary and nurturing and everything about it felt amazing. When Amina felt that lifeline threatened, something inside of her snapped. And for the first time she had to learn how to temper her sensitivities.
Troy had been encouraging, everything out of his mouth meant to reassure her. His response had endeared him even more to her and if he asked again, no one and nothing could keep her from him.
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Mike Chamberlain tossed up his hands in frustration. “Where have you been?” he asked, clearly perturbed. “You missed the meeting with the finance team last night.”
Contrition painted Troy's expression. He gave his friend an apologetic nod. “Sorry about that. My last meeting ran over.”
“What last meeting? I didn't see any meeting on your calendar.”
“It was a last-minute appointment,” Troy answered, the little white lie falling before he could catch it.
Mike eyed him curiously. “You were with that woman, weren't you?”
A wide grin spread across Troy's face. “What woman? I don't know who you're talking about.”
“Oh, yes, you do. You know exactly who I'm talking about. That sexy little thing with the tent dresses and come-hither eyes. The one who looks like the flying nun by day and a supermodel by night.”
Troy's gaze narrowed ever so slightly. “Watch how you talk about my girl, please.”
“Now that we're on the same page, that girl.”
Troy shrugged, changing the subject. “How'd the finance meeting go?”
Mike hesitated, the two men staring each other down. “All's good,” he finally answered. “Donations are at an all-time high. People are really throwing their support behind you.”
“That's good, right?”
“Which brings me back to that woman.”
Troy rolled his eyes. “Don't start, Mike.”
His friend held up his hands. “I'm not starting anything. I'm saying what I have to say and then I'm not going to say anything else about it.”
Troy took a deep breath, then gestured for Mike to continue.
“You're the most honest man I know, Troy. Even as kids you never lied about anything. Ever! Now I see you sneaking around, avoiding the truth, trying to be with this woman and keep it secret and it worries me. And not just because of the election. Troy Elliott hiding how he feels and sneaking around to be with a woman he clearly cares about isn't you, brother. If Quentin had done it or I was doing it, you'd have something to say. You'd be the voice of reason. So that's what I'm trying to do. This can't continue and go well. It can't. And if it blows up on you I'm afraid that it's going to hurt you and Amina more than it will ever hurt your election chances.”
Troy heaved a deep sigh as he and his friend locked gazes. He nodded his head slowly. “So what do you suggest I do?” Troy questioned. “This is an unusual situation and these are unusual circumstances.”
Mike nodded. “I told you when you first came to me about running that you were going to face some challenges. You knew it wasn't going to be easy.”
Troy took a deep breath. “And you also told me that no matter where this election took me that I needed to always stand by my convictions and do what I knew was right.”
“Exactly! Be the man I know you to be.”
“So where does that leave me and Amina? Because I'm not going to give her up.”
“No one says you have to give her up.”
The two men talked for a few more minutes before Mike went his way, leaving Troy to his own thoughts. He loved Amina. Even after witnessing Quentin's relationship with Harper bloom, he hadn't imagined himself loving any woman as intensely. But he loved Amina that much, and more, everything about the woman making him feel whole. The essence of his spirit was connected to Amina and he had no doubts that connection was eternal, no one and nothing able to change that. He wanted nothing but the best for her. He needed to protect and care for her. He trusted that she had his best interest at heart the way he had hers. They would grow old together and every aspect of their lives would be connected until death parted them.