Crazy Little Thing (26 page)

Okay, Seriously, This Is the Real Happy
Ending

“There’s
the ever fair Claire. Are you looking for my dolly, Ollie?”

Claire
laughed politely. She didn’t want to offend Delilah, but secretly she didn’t
trust her. She had an inkling that Delilah had the hots for Ollie, so she
didn’t trust her as far as she could throw her. “Do you know where Ollie is?”

“Maybe,”
Delilah said. “Who wants to know?”

“I
do, Delilah.  It’s really important that I find her. So, if you know where she
is, I’d appreciate you telling me.”

Delilah
looked her up and down. “You going to break her heart again? ‘Cause you look
like that’s what you’re going to do.”

“I’m
not going to break her heart. I’m going to ask her to marry me, if you must
know.”

“I
thought you were already married to her.”

“I
am. I meant I’m going to ask her to stay married to me.”

“Hmmm…”
Delilah said. “Who am I to stand in the way of true love?”

“So
you’ll tell me where she is?”

“She’s
right behind you about fifty yards.”

Claire
turned and watched as Ollie effortlessly glided down the hill. Ollie was a
beautiful snowboarder. Her turns were carved perfection. Claire imagined
herself following behind Ollie for the rest of her life, crisscrossing her
tracks and making perfect figure eights.

“Listen,”
Claire said, “Can you get us on the lift together? I don’t think she really
wants to talk to me, so I need to, you know…”

“Trick
her and hold her hostage?” Delilah said.

“Well…
yeah. I need her to sit still long enough to hear me out.”

“Can
do, sweet lady,” Delilah said. “You’re lucky I believe in true love. Here she
comes now. Don’t let her see your face.”

Claire
pulled the rented goggles down over her eyes and turned her head as Ollie
swooshed in on her board. Ollie didn’t give Claire a second look as she clicked
out of her binding and shuffled toward the lift. Two guys got on and a chair
went by. Delilah motioned for Ollie to hold up. She let another two chairs go
by and then said, “You can get on now.”

Ollie
did as instructed. Delilah gave Claire a little shove. Claire quickly hopped on
the chair next to Ollie. Ollie said to Delilah. “What?  There aren’t enough
empty chairs?”

“Not
today, my friend,” Delilah said.

“No
offence,” Ollie said to her mysterious chair companion who was leaning away
from her on her side of the chair.

They
rode in companionable silence until Claire figured they were a quarter of the
way up the hill. “Nice day for snowboarding,” she said.

Ollie
swiveled in the chair. “Claire?”

Claire
pulled her goggles up. “Hi, Ollie.”

The
chairlift stopped. “What the…?” Ollie turned to look downhill but there was
nothing to see, as there was a slight rise in the hill that blocked the lift
shack.

“I
need to talk to you,” Claire said.

“What’s
going on? Why all the subterfuge?”

“Because
I was afraid you wouldn’t listen to me. Delilah stopped the lift so you would
hear me out. I know you don’t want to talk to me, so just let me say what I
have to say, okay? ‘Cause I’m really nervous and my stomach has butterflies and
my butt itches,” Claire said.

Ollie
set her face in stone, bracing herself for the bad news. She was sure Claire
was going to tell her that she was back with Scarlet.  She nodded to Claire. 
“Go ahead. I can take it.”

“I
know you probably hate me and I completely understand why,” Claire began.

“I
don’t hate you,” Ollie said. “But if you don’t hurry up and give me the bad
news I’m going to jump off this chair so you don’t see me cry and I’ll break
both legs and you’ll have to take care of me until I heal.”

Claire
grabbed Ollie’s arm. “You won’t really jump, will you?”

“Listen,
Claire, I don’t know why you love Scarlet. But you do. I can see that now. I’ll
make this whole thing easy on you, I promise. I’ll give you the divorce and let
you go on your way and I won’t hate you. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to
exit.”

“Ollie,
you’ll send the chair flying.”

“No,
I won’t. There’s a trick to it. You lean over…”

“I
don’t want to know how. I want you to sit here and listen to me.”

“Claire,
what could you say that we haven’t said before? I’m not the one for you. You
want a go-getter, a live large, be-somebody kind of person. I just want to do
my own thing, at my own pace and enjoy my life. I thought you were the one for
me, but I guess I was wrong.” Ollie swiveled in her seat and slid off the chair.
She was now hanging off the chair, holding on by the side rail, her feet
dangling twenty feet off the ground.

“Ollie!”
Claire yelled.

“Oh,
shit,” Ollie said, looking at the ground. “It’s a long ways down there. Oh,
shit.”

Claire
wrapped her hand around Ollie’s wrist and held on tight. “I won’t let you go,
Ollie, I promise.”

“Do
you mean that literally or figuratively?” Ollie asked.

“Literally,”
Claire said. “And figuratively. Both. Ollie, I love you and I want to spend the
rest of my life with you. I was wrong before. So wrong. I want to enjoy my life
and I want that life to be with you. I realize that now and I’m sorry.”

“For
realisies?” The chair started to move. “It’s moving, oh, shit it’s moving,”
Ollie said, panicked.

“Just
hang on,” Claire said. “We’ll be at the top in no time.”

“I…
don’t… think…” Ollie stuttered. Her grip on the rail slipped.

“Oh,
shit, Ollie,” Claire said. “You can’t fall now. If you fall and die, I’ll kill
you!”

Ollie’s
hands slipped off the rail. Now Claire was holding Ollie by both wrists.
“Omigod, omigod, omigod,” Claire breathed. “You’re so heavy.”

“Don’t
turn loose,” Ollie said. “You promised.”

“I
saw this in a movie once. A guy was holding another guy’s hand while he dangled
off the side of a cliff,” Claire said.

“Okay,
okay,” Ollie said, “That’s good.”

“No,
it’s not,” Claire said. “He dropped the guy and he died.”

“You’re
not instilling much security in your ability,” Ollie said.

“I’m
going to let you go now,” Claire said.

“No!”
Ollie screamed.

Claire
let go.

Ollie
dropped. Fortunately, the chair had made it nearly to the top and it was only a
two-foot fall to the ground.

Claire
bailed out of the chair, ran to Ollie,
and
smothered her in an embrace. She kissed Ollie long and hard and she wouldn’t
have stopped kissing her except Ollie’s goggles fogged up and made her giggle.

Ollie
took off her goggles and looked deeply into Claire’s eyes. “You’re sure about
this?”

Claire
nodded. “I’m sure. You’re my happy ending, Ollie.”

Judge O’Connor Speaks

Judge
O’Connor cleared his throat and smiled into the camera. “I have been a judge
for twenty-seven years. That is a long time. I have seen a lot of marriages.
And I have seen a lot of divorces. After a while you get to know which couples
are truly in love and will make it work. I knew just by looking at them that
Ollie and Claire were destined to be together. I’m not talking about magic or
hocus-pocus or any star-crossed lovers stuff. I am talking about pure,
unadulterated love. The kind of love that involves the whole heart and soul.
That kind of love doesn’t come along every day. And when it does, you can’t let
it go. That’s why I lied to Ollie and Claire. I could have signed off on their
divorce the first day they walked in that door. But I figured if they were
given enough time, they would reconsider. True love would win out. So, I told
them they had to go to a marriage counselor and establish residency here in
Iowa.” He chuckled. “And I was right, was I not?”

He
winked at the camera.

Clearing
his throat again, he said, “Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded
wife? To have and to hold from this day forward? Till death do you part?”

The
camera panned back, revealing G-Ray and Begonia standing before the judge. They
faced each other, holding hands. Ollie stood beside G-Ray as his best man.
Claire was next to Begonia as her Matron of Honor.

“I
do,” G-Ray said. He leaned in and kissed his new wife.

Ollie
and Claire beamed while Oscar and Meyer ran in circles around the kissing
couple.

The End

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Other works by Layce & Saxon:

More
Than a Kiss

Memoirs
of a Gay-She

Veronica’s
Tale, a short story

Heart’s
Desire, a steamy short story

Coming
in the Spring of 2015: 
Kiss and Tell
, a romantic comedy adventure, by
Saxon Bennett and Layce Gardner.

Be
sure to check out the authors’ websites at
Laycegardner.com
and
SaxonBennett.wordpress.com

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