Creed of Pleasure; the Space Miner's Concubine (The LodeStar Series) (22 page)

Creed was a hard man, carved by his life and occupation. He might have a soft spot for little felines and for the people he cared about, but would she fall on that side, or on the other? The side that got the ‘one mistake and you’re out’? The side that cut like a gown made of real irridium.
 

Then she tipped her head into her hands and closed her eyes, shame burning under her skin. She was trying to put the onus on Creed. Make him the outside force that was pushing her, forcing her to behave. And that was not fair to him.

She was the one who was afraid. Like a sand lizard, darting under the nearest rock at the first sign of trouble and cowering there until all was still again. As a girl, she’d been entertained by the tiny creatures with the luminous green eyes. Now, not so much. Now, she sympathized with them. But it was time to stop behaving like one.

Creed was a good man. He’d been kind to her, been caring and thoughtful, and he kissed her as if she was precious, made love to her as if she was the only woman on the planet.
 

Surely he would understand if she told him the truth. It wasn’t as if she were lying maliciously, or trying to steal from him. He thought she was a prostitute, well, she was in a way. And she was through being afraid of the truth of how she’d come to do it.

But even if Creed didn’t understand, she still owed him the truth. She couldn’t make love to him again until she opened up all the way, was honest with him. And be damned to Logan Stark. She and Daanel were on Frontiera. They could make their own way without any help if they had to.
 

When her comlink chimed, she started, then sank back in her chair, hand over her heart. Which clenched when she saw who the link was from. Daanel. Oh, goddess, now she had to gear herself up to tell him the truth as well. And hope he didn’t hate her for deceiving him so thoroughly.
 

As it turned out, she didn’t need to work up the courage to tell him.
 

His holovid image sprang up over her desk. When she greeted him with a tentative smile, her heart sank like a stone as her cousin gave her a look she’d never received from him—disappointment and anger.
 

“Taary, I know you’re on Frontiera,” he said. “And I know where you are. I just don’t know why.
What is going on?
Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head so hard her hair flew out around her face. “No, I’m safe, I’m fine.”

“Then what are you doing?” His face was suffused with color, his hands flying out in a gesture of distress. “You’re supposed to be on Serpentia, shopping. Or so I thought.”

She winced. “I’m sorry. I—the whole thing was a lie, D. I’m sorry.”

“But why?”

“I did it to save you,” she blurted. “To save us.” Then she clapped her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. He was gazing at her in horror.

“Taara,” he whispered. “What? What have you done?”

She closed her eyes, but hot tears leaked out. “I made a bargain with someone,” she managed around the lump in her throat. “He—he agreed to help us get here, to start over.”

“Logan Stark,” Daanel said flatly.

“How did you know?”

He shook his head, looking as sick as she felt. “Never mind that. What—what did he want you to do?”

“Oh, nothing horrible.” Her voice shook, and she waved her hands in the air, indicating the bedroom around her and her own body, clothed in Creed’s favorite dress, the one with a bodice of diaphanous yellow lace. “He ... I went to him for help, you know. And I thought he’d do it because we’re Kiri’s friends. But he said if I wanted his help, I had to—to come here and ... and seduce his brother.”
 

Daanel lost it. He let out a hiss of pure rage, his eyes slitted like a viper about to strike. “
What?
That pit viper! I’ll
kill
Logan Stark if it’s the last thing I do. With my dying
breath
I’ll take him out.”

Taara shook her head frantically. “No, no, Daanel, you don’t understand. I ... I came because he made me, but it’s not that bad—”

“It’s not that bad?” he yelled, bending toward her from the waist. “He forced you to fuck his brother and it’s not that bad?”

 
“Daanel, stop,” she called. “Please, calm down. I came because I wanted to get us here to Frontiera. I chose this—it’s not like he held a laser to my head.”

“No, he just held our safety and well-being to your head instead,” he cut in.

Taara shrugged. There was that. “Anyway, I came for us, but then I ... I stayed for
him
. For Creed.” She smiled tremulously. “Oh, Daanel, he’s a good man. He’s strong, but he has a kind of boyishness about him. He’s ... I care about him.”

He blinked. “And does he … care about you? Or is he like his brother, caring only for power and wealth? Because if so, you are out of your mind.”

She shook her head. “He’s not like that at all. He doesn’t know about my deal with Stark.”

Daanel’s brows flew up. “He doesn’t know? What is he, a simpleton?”

“No,” she snapped. “How could he, when no one told him?”

She winced as Daanel regarded her, brows still up. “Yes, I’ve been lying to him too. I owe him an apology just as much as I do you.”

Daanel snorted. “Oh, I hardly think you owe him anything. After all, you’ve been—” he gave her a look that encompassed what she’d been doing for Creed. “And why would he be angry if he finds out you’re not a whore?”

“Because,” she said around the painful lump in her throat, “that makes me a liar.”

He nodded. “True. Taara, I love you. But if you
ever
do anything like this again—lie to me, try to save me in such a reckless, twisted way, without consulting me first, so I can forbid it and tie you to a chair as well—I will
never
speak to you again. Are we clear on this?”

She nodded, his image blurring as her eyes filled with tears. “We’re clear. Do you forgive me, D?”

But instead of huffing one of his trademark sighs, her cousin wiped away tears of his own. “I don’t know, Taary,” he muttered. “You didn’t trust me to be your partner. You just flew off to save me, without asking if that’s what I wanted too. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“Oh, goddess,” Taara managed, her throat thick with the tears that now spilled down her face. “I’m sorry. I won’t … ask again. You can decide if and when.”

“Oh, stop,” Daanel snapped. “We’re not done with this, but it can wait. Once you’re safely back here, we’ll talk more. Now how do we get you here?”

She swiped her wet cheeks. “Funny, when you linked me, I was just nerving myself up to confess to Creed
and
you. So, I have to speak with him and … you know, see what he wants to do. I’ll link you back later, okay?” Although now she was even more afraid to tell him. If Daanel was this angry, how much more furious was Creed going to be?

Daanel frowned. “I don’t like this. You’re there at his mercy.”

She shook her head, smiling through her tears. Rushing to reassure him even through her own fear.”He’s not like that, D. Honestly he’s not. In fact, he’s so controlled, his people call him ‘The Ice Man’. He may be angry, but if anything he’ll just tell me to pack my bags and hop the next supply transport.”

“A conclusion devoutly wished for,” Daanel muttered. “Listen, Tony—my new friend—knows this Creed. He says he’s a good guy, so … I guess I have to believe the two of you. But link me later. Promise?”

“Promise.” She blew him a kiss and he returned it.
 

Taara broke the link, and then rose from her chair. “Oh, goddess.” That had been so hard. But she was so relieved it was done—wasn’t she? She couldn’t remember Daanel ever being truly angry with her. It was the worst.
 

Or maybe not, because now she had to tell Creed.
 

* * *

It was so worse than she could have imagined.

Creed was in his study. He’d clearly just showerdried and shaved, his skin gleaming, his hair still damp. He wore one of his shirts that showed off his physique, this one blue, with a pair of gray knit drawstring pants. When he saw her, his eyes lit up, his mouth curved in that little smile she loved, and he rose from his chair.
 

Then concern darkened his eyes. “You’ve been crying,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

She tried to smile at him as she walked to stand before his desk. “Creed, I have something to tell you.” Her voice shook. And she had to swallow hard to keep from choking on her words, but she kept going.

When she was finished, he rose to stand facing her across the gleaming expanse of his desk. His face was like pale stone, but his eyes blazed.
 

“So you’re here—you did this because you were
forced
to?”

“
No.
” She lifted her hands to him, shook her head again, a strand of hair sticking to her wet cheek. “No, Creed, it’s not how it sounds. I—”

He shook his head, cutting her off without a word. He stared at her for a moment as if he was struggling to process what she’d told him. “And everything we did— you were doing it for another man?”

At this, Taara hurried around the desk toward him, her hands outstretched in entreaty. “Oh, no—not like that. He’s
my cousin. Like a brother to me. The only family I have left in the universe.”

Creed took one step back, and she stopped short of touching him, her hands curling into fists.
 

“Well, you’re good,” he said, still in that eerily calm voice. “Gotta give you that. You had me believing you. And all the time, you’re not a pro, you’re just a … victim. Of my brother, the mighty Logan Stark. And of me.”

“I’m not a victim,” Taara cried. “Creed, I want to be here. I—”

His hand lifted and she stopped talking again. He gazed down at her, his face pale under his tan. “But see, I don’t know what I can believe now,” he said. “I’m sorry this was done to you. Sorry you felt you had to go this far to save yourself and your … cousin.”

Taara shook her head frantically. “No, Creed, listen to me. I want to be here. I—I care about you. I’ve enjoyed everything we do together.”

His jaw tightened and she watched in horror as his fists clenched, his whole body tensing so that his muscles stood out in ridges.

“Do you have any idea what it does to me,” he said hoarsely. “To hear you stand there and say that to me, and not be able to trust that it’s true?
I get it
, Taara. I get that it was life and death, that you had to get out of there, and this is a great world for a new start. I’m glad you made it. But
I do not like being the price you had to pay
.”

She gasped, not daring to reach out to him. Fury rolled off of him in waves so fierce she felt buffeted although he made no move toward her. He turned away as if he could no longer bear to look at her.

“I’m sorry. None of this is your fault. I’ll, ah … have a cruiser pick you up as soon as possible,” he went on. “They’ll take you wherever you want to go. Make sure you’re safe. And I’ll make sure you get your credit, everything Stark promised you.”

Turning, he stalked away. Taking her heart with him, and her budding dreams.
 

“No,” she said.
“No!”
She ran after him.

He strode swiftly through his house. Taara ran to keep up with him. When he walked into the sitting room, she followed him, then stopped short, alarm crawling over her skin. He was staring at the big leather sofa, where they’d made love. As if it were the scene of a crime in which he’d participated.

“Creed?” she breathed, her heart pounding with sickening force. “Please, talk to me.”

She took a step toward him.
 

“Creed?” This time her voice held pleading, she could hear it, but what the hells, she couldn’t stand another sec of this weird, heavy silence that emanated from him.
 

Then he looked at her and she rocked back. His gaze was tortured.

“You say my name like that, I almost believe you mean it,” he said. “I did believe you.”

“I ... I do mean it,” she managed. His gaze flicked down, then back up, and she realized she’d wrapped her arms round herself. She couldn’t bring herself to move them, braced. “I can explain.”

“You can explain?” he went on, in that cold, flat voice. “That you’re not who you said you are? That far from being a woman who fucks because she likes it, makes her living at it, you had to be blackmailed into coming here to my bed? That every time I touched you, I was forcing you—making you a victim.”

“No!”
 

That’s when he lost it. “And do you know—” he went on, his voice rising to a roar, his face livid again, “that I was once a victim like that, and so when I know that I made one of you, it makes me want to rip my own cock off? It makes me want to puke until I’m empty of all the guilt.”

He broke off, shuddering, and closed his eyes. For a moment, the only sound was his harsh, shuddering breaths and the pounding of her heart. Shock reverberated through her, and horror, which morphed swiftly into compassion so strong it lent her strength when she had none left.

“Oh, Creed, “ she whispered. “Oh, sweetheart.”