Creed of Pleasure; the Space Miner's Concubine (The LodeStar Series) (23 page)

She moved forward, as carefully as if he were a swaying cobra, and slipped her arms around him, laying her head on his chest and holding him close. “Tell me,” she begged. “Tell me.”

He stood, his arms hanging, swaying a little as if only she held him up. “You want to know my first memory? Standing with some other little kids, boys and girls. Maybe four years old. And a monster in human form shoved his cock in my mouth and made me take it. And told us that was what we were all gonna do, to stay alive.”

Taara shuddered, hanging on to him. She wept, but did it silently so he would go on talking.
 

“Then … he put us out on the street, and that’s where Joran found me. He got Logan. They took us to a crèche. But I wouldn’t let go of Joran, so he asked Logan to take me home, just for the night. He made me feel safe, because he was still a kid too. Then they just … kept me. Took a while before I realized Logan wasn’t going to do
that
to me in exchange for food and shelter.”

He moved, lifting his hands to hold her. He smoothed his hand down her back, but she had the sense he hardly knew he was doing it. “We didn’t have much, until Logan made money. But I was safe, went to school, grew up.
 

“Until one day I was … almost eighteen. I was crossing an alley. Heard a kid cry out. When I followed the sound, I found a man abusing a little girl. Using her mouth the same way that slimer did me. I went blind with rage. Dragged her away, and jumped him. I … him to death with my bare hands. Killed him.
 

“Came back to myself to find two Zhen Lou there. They took over, took me and the kid to their hotel. Turned her over to a good crèche and offered me a chance at a life where I could learn to channel the rage.”

He sighed deeply, his chest shuddering under her cheek with the movement. “Joined the Zhen-Lou to … try and finally make sense of life. To do something that mattered.”

“I hope you got to beat the shit out of a lot more monsters,” she muttered. “And—and kill them too.”

“Yeah. Did that. Just never thought I’d be—”

“Do not,” she said fiercely, lifting her head so suddenly she bumped into his chin, “say that again, Creed Forth. You are not a bad man. I am not a victim. I’m a grown woman, who makes her own choices. I chose to come here, and yes I did it for the wrong reasons, but I will never, as long as I live, be sorry that we made love—or, or fucked or whatever you want to call it. Got that?”

He gazed at her for a long moment, and her heart ached. Because she could see he wanted to believe her … but couldn’t.

“Wish you’d told me the truth,” he said quietly.

“Oh, Creed, I wish I had too,” she said sadly. “Because now I’m afraid you’re going to retreat even further.”
 

She nodded at the iridium displayed on his wall. “That man you had to let go. He called you an ice man, but I think you want to be like your precious ore. Hard, glistening and impervious to any emotions. Nothing could get in then, no fear, no pain.
 

“You didn’t give that man another chance. I’m sure it was because you couldn’t and keep everyone else safe. But at the time, I told myself you’d do the same to me,” she said.
 

“Today, I finally admitted that I was the one who was at fault, not you. I was being a coward. And so I ended up hurting you and myself.”

* * *

Creed ripped his gaze away from the irridium, glittering in the lightbox. Too dangerous to touch, because of the razor-sharp edges of its refined form.
 

She was right, he realized. He could feel the hard shell she was talking about, just waiting to reform itself around him. His cloak. Zhen calm was his iridium. Not impervious to hurt, she was wrong about that. Man had to use what he could, though, so he’d use it—a barrier to keep her out. Her and the false warmth she’d promised. Because she hadn’t wanted to give it.

Now he had to bear with that the raw pain of remembering, of making himself say it out loud to another being. What had happened to him and what he’d done. And the regret that she now had to bear it with him. She was soft, she shouldn’t have had to hear that.

“Creed, don’t let this be the end of us,” she pleaded. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. But don’t let it ruin what we have.”

“Not sure we have anything,” he said. “I gave you plenty of chances to talk to me.”

She moved toward him and he backed away. His chest was on fire, with no outlet for the searing pain. “I let you
in.
You lay in my arms and you lied to me.”

At this, she flinched. She shook her head, and tears flooded her eyes. “No,” she protested, her voice thick with tears. “No, I didn’t. Not about what really mattered.”
 

She opened her mouth to say more, to take another slice out of him, every word another cut.

Except that the world around them exploded, the ceiling coming down in chunks, thunder buffeting his ears. As if in slow motion, a large piece of the ceiling cracked in and fell down toward her.
 

Chapter Fifteen

Taara’s eyes widened, green gaze swung up, her mouth opening. She cried out to him in terror. He felt it although he couldn’t hear it over the reverberations of sound around them.

“
Taara!”
Feeling as if he were wading through thick gel, Creed leaped across the space between them, tackling her around the waist, rolling her in mid-air so she landed on the carpet, with his body caging her, holding her down, her head tucked under his.

The chunk of ceiling hit him on the back, a heavy blow that drove the air from his lungs and flattened him onto her. That was gonna hurt later, he thought absently.
 

Another explosion rocked the house, this one further away. That settled one question—this was no accident, but an attack. The quarking pirates had gotten through
again,
and this time they were clearly bent on destruction.

With a mighty effort, Creed drew in a deep breath, nearly choking as he inhaled dust and bits of debris. He shoved, using all his strength to throw off the chunk of heavy wood and insulation.
 

“Get up.We gotta go.”

She peered through her tousled hair. It was full of dust and bits of insulation, as was her dress. “What’s happening?” Her words ended in a fit of coughing.

“Attack,” he said tersely. He levered himself onto his feet and grabbed her arm to pull her up with him. Chunks of building material fell from his hair and he shook his head, then braced himself as the room spun dizzily around him.
 

“Creed,” she cried. “Oh, goddess, you’re bleeding. You’re hurt. Let me—”

He pulled her hand away from his face. “No time.” He was already in motion, pulling her after him across the floor, covered in rubble.
 

She stumbled, then yanked at his grip. “I can walk.”

“All right. Keep up.” He took off at a jog through the house, ignoring his throbbing head, on his comlink. IGSF first.
 

“Attack at LodeStone compound,” he yelled as a uniformed officer appeared, his image flickering through the dust in the air. “Compound compromised. Suspect pirates again. Need your closest ships
now
.”

“Copy, Mr. Forth,” the officer said calmly. He looked up, at some readout only he could see. “We have two ships in the area, ETA ten minutes. You have one unknown craft overhead, three more approaching.”
 

“Great God beyond,” Creed muttered, breaking the link. “Don’t have ten minutes.”
 

They’d reached the passageway outside the office, and Nikk was in the doorway, face set, laser in hand. “Sir,” he called. “We’ve been breached again.”

“I noticed,” Creed roared, as another explosion sounded, this one outside the wall. “What the quark happened?”

Although he was sure he already knew. Someone had betrayed him, betrayed them all. The only way the system could be down again was if someone had done it manually.

He looked over his shoulder to make sure Taara was right behind him. Seeing she was, he grasped her arm and pulled her into the office. Her eyes were huge in her dirty, pale face.
 

Nikk jerked his head to one side, indicating the control room. “Someone’s been in here.”
 

The old soldier’s gaze zeroed in on Taara, who was paying no attention, staring blankly at him as if waiting to be told what to do. She was shaking, Creed saw. Shocky.
 

Part of him, a big part, wanted to hold her close and reassure her, tell her he’d keep her safe no matter what, that he’d kill anyone who tried to touch her. But he had bigger responsibilities than just one small woman.
 

Also, while the idea of her colluding with pirates was ludicrous—she was a clothing clerk, for God’s sake—there weren’t many beings here and no stranger could have breached the compound. And what did he really know about her after all? Just that she was a liar, and a good one.
 

“Keep an eye on her,” he told Nikk. “Who else is on site?”

Nikk scowled at Taara as he spoke. “Just Lani and her girl. Nels and the boys are guarding the mine, the techs are inside.”

“Good. I’m going up. Nels will hold the mine.” He and the boys would be in the heavily reinforced mouth of the mine, heavy lasers ready to fire on anyone who tried to breach.

“You’re going up there alone?” Taara reached out for him, her eyes wide.

Nikk shoved her back. “You sit,” he growled. “And don’t touch anything.”

Creed heard this, but not her response. He was already dashing out to the hangar, to his cruiser.

* * *

Creed was taking his cruiser up to face four pirate ships? Taara watched him race out of the room. A bright spot of color on the pale floor caught her eye. Blood, bright red.
 

“He’s bleeding,” she said. She turned her accusing gaze on the older man at the console, eyeing the holo-displays. “You shouldn’t let him go—not alone.”

The ex-soldier glared at her. “Wouldn’t be, if I could still fly. Now shut it. And you move a muscle, I’ll take you down.”

Taara pushed her hair back, comprehension beginning to penetrate.

“You think ...
I
did this?” Hurt stabbed her, a solid blow to her chest, and she pressed her fist over it. “I would never do anything to hurt Creed. Or his people.”

Nikk snorted, manipulating controls. “He don’t seem to believe that, so why should I?”

Taara barely had time to absorb this blow when a door opened in the back of the room. Lani burst in, followed by her niece, both wide-eyed. “Oh, my God,” Lani cried. “We’re under attack. Nikk, where is Creed? Is he safe?”

The whine of a powerful craft taking off close by silenced them all. “He is now,” Nikk said grimly. “Pray he stays up, and safe. Now if you women would sit down, I can help out.”

Another explosion rocked the building, this one overhead. Everyone’s gaze flew to the ceiling, except Nikk’s. He gave a growl of triumph. “Got you, y’quarking bastard.”

He pointed to one of the holovid screens, and Taara realized with a jolt that the sleek silver ship against the backdrop of afternoon thunder clouds was Creed. And the explosion in midair before his ship was the fiery remains of one of the pirate ships.

“He got one,” Lani cried. “Yes.”
 

Beside her, Noni clapped her hand over her mouth, looking terrified.

Taara heard her strangled cry, but her own gaze was locked on the holovid, as Creed’s ship swung in midair and dove, narrowly dodging a laser blast from an ugly, squat ship flying after him. She gave a sob of relief as Creed fired again, red streaking out. He was all right, so far. The charge hit the other ship and she cried out with Lani this time.
 

Creed was already firing again, at two more of the ugly ships. Another burst into flames. The third lurched to one side, black smoke curling from one of the rear vents.

“He got them all,” Lani exulted.
 

“No.” Taara searched the holovid sky. “He said there were four. Where’s the other one?”

“Quark it, she’s right,” Nikk said. “Boss, you got a sneaker. One ship left and I don’t have it on monitor.”

Then he stiffened. “Skrog shit. There they are—landing. Right behind the compound.”

“I’ll get the laser weapons,” Lani was already on her feet, headed for a long cabinet in the wall.
 

“I’m armed,” Nikk rapped out. “And you. None for her.”
 

He glowered at Taara again, and she wrapped her arms around her middle. “I can help,” she insisted. “I’m not the one who let them through.”

He ignored her, pulling a laser weapon from his belt.
 

Creed’s face filled one of the holovid screens. Pale, with blood streaking one side of his face, the cockpit of his cruiser around him. But he was alive. Taara stared at him, drinking him in.
 

His gaze flicked over her impersonally. “Nikk. I’m coming overhead, to try to get a shot at them. Stay inside, keep the women with you.”