Crooked Kingdom (31 page)

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Authors: Leigh Bardugo

BOOK: Crooked Kingdom
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“Matthias,” Nina said breathlessly, and then they were kissing again.

She was sweet as the first rain, lush as new meadows. His hands curled along her back, tracing her shape, the line of her spine, the emphatic flare of her hips.


Matthias
,” she said more insistently, pulling away.

He opened his eyes, certain he'd made some horrible mistake. Nina was biting her lower lip—it was pink and swollen. But she was smiling, and her eyes sparkled. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Not at all, you glorious
babink
, but—”

Zoya cleared her throat. “I'm glad you two found a way to spend the time while you waited.”

Her expression was pure disgust, but next to her, Genya looked like she was about to burst with glee.

“Perhaps you should put me down?” suggested Nina.

Reality crashed in on Matthias—the guards' knowing looks, Zoya and Genya in the doorway, and the fact that in the course of kissing Nina Zenik with a year's worth of pent-up desire, he had lifted her clear off her feet.

A tide of embarrassment flooded through him. What Fjerdan did such a thing? Gently, he released his hold on her magnificent thighs and let her slide to the ground.


Shameless
,” Nina whispered, and he felt his cheeks go red.

Zoya rolled her eyes. “We're making a deal with a pair of love-struck teenagers.”

Matthias felt another wave of heat in his face, but Nina just adjusted her wig and said, “So you'll accept our help?”

It took them a short time to work out the logistics of how the night would go. Since it might not be safe for Nina to return to the tavern, once she had information on where and when to board Van Eck's ship, she would get a message to the embassy—probably via Inej, since the Wraith could come and go without being seen. The refugees would remain in hiding as long as possible; then Genya and Zoya would get them to the harbor.

“Be prepared for a fight,” Matthias said. “The Shu will be watching this sector of town. They haven't had the temerity to attack the embassy or the marketplace yet, but it's only a matter of time.”

“We'll be ready, Fjerdan,” said Zoya, and in her gaze he saw the steel of a born commander.

On their way out of the embassy, Nina found the golden-eyed Heartrender who had been part of the ambush at the tavern. She was Shu, with a short crop of black hair, and wore a pair of slender silver axes at her hips. Nina had told him she was the only Corporalnik among the Grisha refugees and diplomats.

“Tamar?” Nina said tentatively. “If the Kherguud come, you mustn't allow yourself to be taken. A Heartrender in Shu possession and under the influence of
parem
could irrevocably tip the scales in their favor. You cannot imagine the power of this drug.”

“No one will take me alive,” said the girl. She slid a tiny, pale yellow tablet from her pocket, displaying it between her fingers.

“Poison?”

“Genya's own creation. It kills instantly. We all have them.” She handed it to Nina. “Take it. Just in case. I have another.”

“Nina—” Matthias said.

But Nina didn't hesitate. She slipped the pill into the pocket of her skirt before Matthias could speak another word of protest.

They made their way out of the government sector, steering clear of the market stalls and keeping well away from the tavern, where the
stadwatch
had gathered.

Matthias told himself to be alert, to focus on getting them back to Black Veil safely, but he could not stop thinking about that pale yellow pill. The sight of it had brought the dream back as vivid as ever, the ice of the north, Nina lost and Matthias powerless to save her. It had burned the unchecked joy of her kiss right out of him.

The dream had started on the ship, when Nina was in the worst throes of her struggle with
parem
. She'd been in a rage that night, body quaking, clothes soaked through with sweat.

You're not a good man
, she'd shouted.
You're a good soldier, and the sad thing is you don't even know the difference.
She'd been miserable later, weeping, sick with hunger, sick with regret.
I'm sorry
, she'd said.
I didn't mean it. You know I didn't mean it.
And a moment later,
If you would just help me.
Her beautiful eyes were full of tears, and in the faint light from the lanterns, her pale skin had seemed gilded in frost.
Please, Matthias, I'm in so much pain. Help me.
He would have done anything, traded anything to ease her suffering, but he'd sworn he would not give her more
parem
. He'd made a vow that he would not let her become a slave to the drug, and he had to honor it, no matter what it cost him.

I can't, my love
, he'd whispered, pressing a cold towel to her brow.
I can't get you more parem. I had them lock the door from the outside.

In a flash her face changed, her eyes slitted.
Then break the fucking door down, you useless skiv.

No.

She spat in his face.

Hours later, she'd been quiet, her energy spent, sad but coherent. She'd lain on her side, her eyelids a bruised shade of violet, breath coming in shallow pants, and said, “Talk to me.”

“About what?”

“About anything. Tell me about the
isenulf
.”

He shouldn't have been surprised she knew of the
isenulf
, the white wolves bred to go into battle with the
drüskelle
. They were bigger than ordinary wolves, and though they were trained to obey their masters, they never lost the wild, indomitable streak that separated them from their distant domesticated cousins.

It had been hard to think about Fjerda, the life he'd left behind for good, but he made himself speak, eager for any way to distract her. “Sometimes there are more wolves than
drüskelle
, sometimes more
drüskelle
than wolves. The wolves decide when to mate, with little influence from the breeder. They're too stubborn for that.”

Nina had smiled, then winced in pain. “Keep going,” she whispered.

“The same family has been breeding the
isenulf
for generations. They live far north near Stenrink, the Ring of Stones. When a new litter arrives, we travel there by foot and by sledge, and each
drüskelle
chooses a pup. From then on, you are each other's responsibility. You fight beside each other, sleep on the same furs, your rations are your wolf's rations. He is not your pet. He is a warrior like you, a brother.”

Nina shivered, and Matthias felt a sick rush of shame. In a battle with Grisha, the
isenulf
could help even the odds for a
drüskelle
, trained to come to his aid and tear out his attacker's throat. Heartrender power seemed to have no effect on animals. A Grisha like Nina would be virtually helpless under
isenulf
attack.

“What if something happens to the wolf?” Nina asked.

“A
drüskelle
can train a new wolf, but it is a terrible loss.”

“What happens to the wolf if his
drüskelle
is killed?”

Matthias was silent for a time. He did not want to think about this. Trass had been the creature of his heart.

“They are returned to the wild, but they will never be accepted by any pack.” And what was a wolf without a pack? The
isenulf
were not meant to live alone.

When had the other
drüskelle
decided Matthias was dead? Had it been Brum who had taken Trass north to the ice? The idea of his wolf left alone, howling for Matthias to come and take him home, carved a hollow ache in his chest. It felt like something had broken there and left an echo, the lonely snap of a branch too heavy with snow.

As if she had sensed his sorrow, Nina had opened her eyes, the pale green of a bud about to unfurl, a color that brought him back from the ice. “What was his name?”

“Trassel.”

The corner of her lips tilted. “Troublemaker.”

“No one else wanted him.”

“Was he a runt?”

“No,” Matthias said. “The opposite.”

It had taken more than a week of hard travel to reach the Ring of Stones. Matthias hadn't enjoyed the trip. He'd been twelve years old, new to the
drüskelle
, and every day he'd thought about running away. He didn't mind the training. The hours spent running and sparring helped to keep the longing he felt for his family at bay. He wanted to be an officer. He wanted to fight Grisha. He wanted a chance to bring honor to the memory of his parents and his sister. The
drüskelle
had given him purpose. But the rest of it? The jokes in the mess hall? The endless boasting and mindless chatter? That he had no use for. He had a family. They were buried beneath the black earth, their souls gone to Djel. The
drüskelle
were merely a means to an end.

Brum had warned him that he would never become a true
drüskelle
if he did not learn to see the other boys as his brothers, but Matthias didn't believe that. He was the biggest, the strongest, the fastest. He didn't need to be popular to survive.

He'd ridden in the back of the sled for the entirety of the journey, huddled in his furs, speaking to no one, and when they'd finally arrived at the Ring of Stones, he'd hung back, unsure of himself as the other
drüskelle
bolted into the big barn, yelling and shoving one another, each of them diving for the pile of wriggling white wolf pups with their ice-chip eyes.

The truth was that he wanted a wolf pup desperately, but he knew there might not be enough for all of them. It was up to the breeder which boy was paired with each pup and who went home empty-handed. Many of the boys were already talking to the old woman, attempting to charm her.

“You see? This one likes me.”

“Look! Look! I got her to sit!”

Matthias knew he should try to be personable, make some kind of effort, but instead he found himself drawn to the kennels in the back of the barn. In the corner, in a wire cage, he caught a yellow flash—light reflecting off a pair of wary eyes. He drew closer and saw a wolf, a pup no longer, but not yet full grown. He growled as Matthias drew closer to the cage, hackles raised, head lowered, teeth bared. The young wolf had a long scar across his muzzle. It had cut across his right eye and changed part of the iris from blue to mottled brown.

“Don't want no business with that one,” said the breeder.

Matthias didn't know when she'd snuck up behind him. “Can he see?”

“He can, but he don't like people.”

“Why not?”

“He got out when he was still a pup. Made it across two miles of ice fields. Kid found him and cut him up with a broken bottle. Won't let no one near him since, and he's getting too old to train. Probably have to put him down soon.”

“Let me take him.”

“He'd just as soon tear you to bits as let you feed him, boy. We'll have a pup for you next time.”

As soon as the woman walked away, Matthias opened the cage. And just as fast, the wolf lunged forward and bit him.

Matthias wanted to scream as the wolf's teeth sank into his forearm. He toppled to the ground, the wolf on top of him, the pain beyond anything he'd ever known. But he did not make a sound. He held the wolf's gaze as its teeth sank more deeply into the muscle of his arm, a growl rumbling through the animal's chest.

Matthias suspected that the wolf's jaws were strong enough to break bone, but he did not struggle, did not cry out, did not drop his gaze.
I won't hurt you
, he swore,
even if you hurt me
.

A long moment passed, and then another. Matthias could feel blood soaking through his sleeve. He thought he might lose consciousness.

Then, slowly, the wolf's jaws released. The animal sat back, the white fur of his muzzle coated in Matthias' blood, head tilted to one side. The wolf released a huff of breath.

“Nice to meet you too,” said Matthias.

He sat up cautiously, bandaged his arm with the bottom of his shirt, and then he and his wolf, both covered in blood, walked back to where the others were playing in a pile of wolf pups and gray uniforms.

“This one's mine,” he said as they all turned to stare, and the old woman shook her head. Then Matthias passed out.

That night, on the ship, Matthias had told Nina about Trassel, his fierce nature, his ragged scar. Eventually, she had dozed and Matthias had let himself shut his eyes. The ice was waiting. The killing wind came with white teeth, the wolves howled in the distance, and Nina cried out, but Matthias could not go to her.

The dream had come every night since. It was hard not to see it as some kind of omen, and when Nina had casually dropped that yellow pill into her pocket, it had been like watching the storm come on: the roar of the wind filling his ears, the cold burrowing into his bones, the certainty that he was going to lose her.


Parem
might not work on you anymore,” he said now. They'd finally reached the deserted canal where they'd moored the
gondel
.

“What?”

“Your power has changed, hasn't it?”

Nina's footsteps faltered. “Yes.”

“Because of the
parem
?”

Now Nina stopped. “Why are you asking me this?”

He didn't want to ask her. He wanted to kiss her again. But he said, “If you were captured, the Shu might not be able to use the drug to enslave you.”

“Or it could be just as bad as before.”

“That pill, the poison Tamar gave you—”

Nina laid a hand on his arm. “I'm not going to be captured, Matthias.”

“But if you were—”

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