Authors: William P. Young
Tony listened quietly, emotions again surfacing that he hadn’t prepared for.
“Tony, he’s clean. Got set up with NA and rehab and Jesus. He’s been clean almost six years. Went back to school between part-time jobs and graduated with a degree from Warner Pacific College here in the city. He’s been working for something called the Portland Leadership Foundation and saving money. Jake was waiting until he could afford his own place and trying to build up enough courage to contact you when the police called him. Tony, he cried. He wanted you to be proud of him, probably more than anything else in the world. He feels like he missed his chance to tell you. But we’ll get you healed and he can tell you himself. He really needs to hear from you that he matters to you.”
Tony waited in the silence, struggling to regain his composure. “So,” he began, “Maggie, what I need to know is, do you trust him? Do you trust Jake? Do you think the changes in him are real?”
She could feel the weight of his questions, the sense of importance that he was giving them, and she thought carefully before speaking.
“I do, Tony. I do. Everything in me tells me that your brother is smart and solid, works hard, and I would trust him with Cabby and Lindsay, and that is saying everything, coming from me.”
“That’s all I needed to know, Maggie, ’cause I trust you, and if you trust Jake that is more than good enough for me. Thank you!”
She could hear in his voice that there was more to the
story but didn’t push it. Tony would tell her when he was ready.
“It is an honor to be trusted, Tony.”
“You are among the very first, for me,” Tony added. “That means more than I can begin to tell you.”
“Faith takes risk, Tony, and there is always risk in relationships, but bottom line? The world has no meaning apart from relationships. Some are just messier than others, some are seasonal, others are difficult, and a few are easy, but every one of them is important.”
She slid her pie into the oven, doubled-checked the temperature, and turned to make a cup of tea.
“Just so you know, Tony, everybody has met everybody, your side and mine. Just thought you might like to know.”
“Thank you, Maggie. Thanks for making that happen.”
“You are welcome, Mr. Tony.”
“Why’d you call me that… Mr. Tony?” he asked, surprised.
“Don’t know,” Maggie answered. “Just felt right. Why?”
“Nothing really. I met a little girl who called me that. It just reminded me of her, I guess.”
“Children!” Maggie laughed. “They are able to sneak into places that we would never let others near.”
“Isn’t that the truth,” agreed Tony.
While the pie baked the two bantered back and forth like an old married couple, the conversation light but meaningful.
Only moments after a perfect-looking apple pie was taken out of the oven, Molly and Cabby burst into the house, both in good spirits. Cabby rushed his Maggie-buddy and gave her a bear hug, then leaned into her heart and whispered, “Tah-ny… sun-dy!” and giggled before running down the hallway and into his room.
“That kid,” commented Tony, “he’s something else.”
“Sure is,” agreed Maggie. “What was that all about?”
“Just a conversation we had a while back. He knows when I’m here, you know?”
“That boy knows a lotta things.”
Molly emerged from her bathroom, a smile on her face like the best colors of a sunset, and gave Maggie a big hug.
“Good news?” Maggie inquired.
“About Lindsay? Not really. Pretty much the same.” She lowered her voice. “Is Tony here?”
Maggie nodded.
“Hey, Tony. Spent a bunch of time with your family today, especially Angela. We hit it off big-time, actually more like her and Cabby hit it off. She is an absolute gift, your girl.”
“He says, ‘Thank you,’ ” replied Maggie, even before Tony had said anything.
“And…” Molly grinned. “I am kinda liking getting to know your brother, Jake. He took me up to visit you today and I gotta say, Jake’s the better looking of the two of you.”
“He says it’s because he’s sick,” Maggie translated.
“That must be it.” Molly laughed as she opened the fridge to rummage for leftovers for her and Cabby.
“There’s plenty of pie, Molly, for you and Cabby.”
“Wonderful. We’ll have it for dessert. I’ll be right back. I promised Cabby that he could eat his supper in the backyard and I have it ready.”
At that moment the doorbell rang, followed by three sharps raps. No one would have found it significant except Tony and it made him grin. It probably was neither Jack nor Jesus, he surmised.
It was Clarence, waiting with a warm smile and embrace for Maggie. The flood of contentment that enveloped her was enough to make Tony close his eyes for a moment and
then breathe deeply. There was so much he had missed out on or lost because of his walls.
“I’m not kissin’ you,” whispered Maggie. “You know who’s here.”
Clarence laughed. “Well, you just let me know when he’s gone and we’ll make up for it.”
“I’ve got you on speed dial,” Maggie said and chuckled.
“Wow, what is that I smell?” exclaimed Clarence. “Fresh-baked apple pie, and it smells just like my momma used to make. You got any ice cream?”
“Of course, Tillamook ’nilla okay?”
“Perfect!” He sat at the table while Maggie prepared apple pie à la mode. “If I hang around you, I’m going to have to start working out double, but if it tastes like it smells, it’ll be worth it.”
Maggie handed him a dish with more than generous portions and a big spoon, and waited for him to take the first bite. Clarence was up to the challenge and responded in childlike delight. “Maggie, this is spectacular. I hate to admit it, but it might even be better than my momma’s.”
She beamed.
“You two are kinda makin’ me sick,” interjected Tony. “All this mushy-gushy… barf!”
Maggie grinned. “Tony says hi.”
“Hey, Tony.” Clarence, addressing Maggie, grinned back. He took another bite, chewing it more deliberately, savoring the flavors.
“Hi, Clarence.” Molly returned from Cabby’s picnic and gave the officer a hug, retrieving her plate from the counter and sitting down with the others. “What’s going on?”
“Your timing is perfect,” said Maggie, dishing up her own bowl of pie and ice cream. “We were just about to get into that.”
Clarence turned again to Maggie and spoke in a more serious tone. “Tony I have a big favor to ask you.”
“He says, ‘Good,’ ’cause he has a big favor to ask you, too.”
“Maybe,” Tony wondered aloud, “you should just kiss Clarence so that I can explain what I want without all the interpreting. Might make it easier.”
“You kidding me?” retorted Maggie. “And leave me outta the loop? No way! As much as the idea of kissing Clarence appeals to me at the moment, I will wait, thank you. If you two are going to be scheming about stuff, I’m going to be in on it. Go ahead, Clarence.”
Clarence began. “Tony, I really have no right to ask you what I am going to ask you, and I don’t even know if it’s in the realm of possibility, so before I tell you anything, please know that I don’t have expectations that you will do this. The favor you want from me is in no way contingent on your doing anything for me. Are we clear?”
“He says, ‘Crystal,’ but you should probably wait and see what his favor is first.”
“I don’t really care what it is.” Clarence continued, “If Maggie is in, I’m in.” He paused again. “Is it illegal?”
“He doesn’t think it is.”
“He doesn’t
think
it is?” interjected Molly.
“That’s… comforting,” sighed the officer. “So here is what I would like to ask, and again, you can say no and it will be okay.”
The three watched as this strong man visibly struggled with his emotions, not anything that appeared usual or customary for him. Maggie reached over and took his nearest hand, which about did him in, but he found control somehow and after clearing his throat in a husky voice, continued.
“My mother has Alzheimer’s. A few years ago we finally
had to move her to a home that provides round-the-clock care because we couldn’t. It came on much faster than we had anticipated, than anyone anticipated, and I was across the country completing a training course when she lost touch with all of us.”
“I’m really sorry, Clarence,” offered Molly, reaching and taking his other hand.
He looked up, his eyes glistening. “I never had a last conversation with her, nothing. One day she knew who I was, and the next time I saw her there was nothing at all, just this emptiness in her eyes that I wanted to fill.
“Tony,” he continued, “I can’t stop thinking that if Maggie kissed her, you might be able to slide into her and find her for me and give her a message or something and let her know that we miss her, that I miss her. I know it sounds crazy, and I don’t even know if it would work or…”
“He’ll do it,” announced Maggie.
“He will?” Clarence looked straight at Maggie, his face relaxing from the strain of emotion held back.
“Of course, he will,” stated Molly. “You will, won’t you, Tony?” She looked at Maggie.
“Yes, he’ll do it,” repeated Maggie. “But he’s not sure if it will work. It’s not like he’s an expert at any of this.”
“Tony, thank you for even considering it. I owe you big-time just for that.”
“He says you don’t owe him anything and that his request has no strings either. You can say no.”
“Understood,” replied Clarence.
“So,” began Maggie, “let me try and put into words what Tony needs. He has this top secret spy office somewhere down by the river off Macadam Avenue. He’s not a spy or anything, but he has this office no one knows about and some of his really important stuff is in there. Clarence, he
wants to know if you know someone who does industrial shredding?” She raised her eyebrows as if to communicate, “Don’t ask me, I’m only the messenger.”
“Yeah, I got a good buddy named Kevin. He works for a big shredding company. I think they have the contract for the city, too. Why?”
“Some stuff needs to be destroyed—not accounting stuff or illegal stuff, just personal stuff,” said Maggie for Tony. She stopped, then turned away slightly, as if speaking to herself. “Tony, why don’t you just wait until you get better and then take care of it yourself?”
Concern showed on her face as she turned back to Clarence. “He says because he isn’t absolutely certain that he’s going to get better and he doesn’t want to take any chances.” She continued the translating. “Tony needs to get into his office. He has the codes and everything he needs to get what he wants out of there. He says that he needs you, Clarence, to make sure that we do it right without leaving any trace that we were there. You know how to do that?”
Clarence nodded.
“He says it’s really very easy. Quick in and out. He has to open a safe that’s in the floor and go through some of the documents. He’ll make one pile to be shredded and grab maybe a couple other things and that will be all. Probably less than half an hour tops. No one will see us and no one can ever know we were there.”
“Not illegal?” mused Clarence.
“He says nope, not as long as he’s still alive. This is his place and he has all the codes, so it’s not breaking and entering. He will be with us, and even though no one would believe you, you’ll know he is with us.”
Clarence thought for a moment
“Can you help us?”
Clarence nodded.
“Tony wants to know if we can do it this evening. Can we see your mom now?”
Again Clarence nodded, checking the kitchen clock. “We have plenty of time. I’ll call ahead and make sure she’s ready for us. Who all’s coming?”
“I have to stay with Cabby, so I can’t,” stated Molly. “But I want to hear about everything, and I mean everything, that happens, okay?”
“I always tell you everything, darlin’. You take good care of Cabby while the three of us go play James Bond.”
Clarence was already talking on his phone.
Maggie hugged Molly deeply and tenderly. “Tony says you have his blessing,” she whispered.
“About what?” Molly asked.
“About his brother… if anything comes of it, you have his blessing.”
Molly grinned. “You never know.” She leaned back in. “Thank you, Tony, love you!”
Her words caught Tony by surprise, as did the emotions he felt in just hearing them. “Uh,” he said, his voice thickening, “love you, too.”
Maggie smiled. “He says he loves you, too.”
A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them, they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.
—Rainer Maria Rilke
Y
our mother will be so glad to see you,” the volunteer said, smiling as she led Maggie and Clarence down the hallway toward a private room.
Normally such a statement would have irritated Clarence, but not tonight. The anticipation was churning in his stomach, and the more real it became the more probable the disappointment. He wasn’t sure how he would handle it.
Dear God
, he prayed silently,
you work in mysterious ways. Here’s a perfect opportunity. Thank you for walking in this with me, and for Maggie, and especially, tonight, for Tony.
“Clarence, you never told me about your father,” said Maggie in a hushed voice.
“Good man. My dad passed about ten years ago. He was everything a father was supposed to be, but it was my mom who was the force in our world. His leaving wasn’t as hard
as this, this… whatever this is. He’s gone, but she’s stuck in between, and we can’t get to her.”
Tony listened. Clarence’s use of “in between” made him smile, and he almost jumped into the flow of conversation but thought better and held his tongue. It wasn’t the time.
Soft light filled the room they entered and an elderly elegant black woman sat dressed in comfortable reds and soft blacks. She was a handsome woman with high cheekbones and sparkling eyes that belied the absence of her presence within.
After the volunteer dismissed herself, Maggie reached up and kissed Clarence fully on the lips, lingering and tender. When you only had one kiss, you had to make it count. Tony slid back into a place he had briefly been before, ordered and spacious, and he was looking into Maggie’s eyes, up close and personal.