Crossroads (15 page)

“
Why do you ask, Claudia?”
Patty looked confused.

“
I…well…nothing.” I was
searching for the right words.

Suddenly, her eyes narrowed on my
neckline. “Who gave you that beautiful necklace?”

“
What?” I was caught off
guard. I had forgotten about it. I couldn’t think fast enough, so I
ended up telling her the truth. “Michael gave it to me,” I said
quickly as if it was no big deal. I felt guilty that I couldn’t
tell her the whole truth, but it was a small step towards the day I
hoped to tell her everything.

“
A guy doesn’t give a girl
a necklace like that one unless you mean something to him,” she
said with a smile. “Do you know in some cultures, a butterfly is a
symbol for a young man in love?”

“
Really?” I said in
surprise, trying not to appear excited at the thought that Michael
could be in love with me. Knowing Patty, she was trying to read my
face. I had to give her my ultimate serious look.

“
Nope,” I said, plain and
simple, while straightening out the shirts hanging on the racks,
hoping she wouldn’t notice my flushed face.

“
Other cultures believe
that the butterfly represents the soul. Maybe he’s telling you that
his soul belongs to you, huh?” she asked playfully, obviously
teasing me. “How romantic,” she said and let out a heavy sigh. Her
elbow was lightly pressed on the rack, and she looked straight up
to the ceiling, as if her dream man had appeared right in front of
her eyes.

I looked at her and let out a small
giggle. “In my culture, a butterfly represents a gift to say happy
birthday, and that’s it,” I said and turned on my heel to move on
to the next rack of clothes.

Patty shadowed right behind me. “So,
do I get to meet him or what?”

“
Meet whom?” I replied,
pretending not to understand.

“
I can’t believe you! I
get it. You’re embarrassed of me!”

“
No, it’s not like that.
You’re my best friend. Stop being so ridiculous!”

“
What’s wrong? You know
you can tell me anything, don’t you?” Patty said
tenderly.

“
Yes, it’s just that he is
really nice, and I don’t think this relationship will go far,” I
said, telling her the truth.

“
Sorry, I didn’t mean to
upset you, especially on your birthday. I’m sure you’ll tell me
more when you are ready,” she said, looking preoccupied. She walked
toward the cash register and reached down.

I was relieved that she dropped the
subject. What could I say to make her understand? I didn’t even
understand it myself. How could I explain our relationship—one that
was forbidden? As I was pondering these thoughts, Patty stood up
and surprised me with a wrapped box that had “Happy Birthday” all
over it.

“
Thanks, Patty!” I said
while giving her a tight squeeze.

“
Oh, it’s nothing. I saw
you admiring it, and I wanted to get it for you.”

“
Thank you so much. You
are always so thoughtful.” I hugged her again. I couldn’t remember
what I was previously marveling at; regardless, whatever it was, I
was thankful.

“
A friend hears unspoken
words,” she said and smiled back. “Open it and try it on before it
gets busy again.”

“
What? What if Mrs. Lee
walks in?”

“
Don’t worry, she won’t be
in. It’s Saturday.”

“
Oh yeah, I forgot. You
told me she never comes in on Saturdays,” I said and started to
open the box with anticipation. My eyes brightened as I pulled out
a black chiffon dress with gold trimmings and a sash that tied at
the back to accentuate the waist. “Patty!” I called her name with
excitement. “Thank you so much!” I hugged her again. “I absolutely
love it! Now I have something to wear to Ryan’s birthday
party.”

“
Ryan? Your ex-boyfriend?”
She sounded disgusted and surprised.

“
Yes,” I said slowly,
knowing she would disapprove. “It’s at the Grand View Hotel, so I
need something nice to wear.”

“
The show-off who likes to
fan his money around? The one who thinks he is above everyone
else?”

“
Yes. No. I mean, he
wasn’t that bad,” I said in his defense. “Anyway, I broke it off,
remember. We’re still friends. And plus, he invited practically the
whole senior class.”

“
Yeah, the whole senior
girl class,” she said sarcastically. Then her eyes got bigger as
she said excitedly, “Did you say the Grand View Hotel? The…Grand
View Hotel?”

“
Uh huh,” I said
slowly.

“
Too bad I don’t go to
your school. Maybe I’ll crash the party.” She arched a brow. “See,
show-off,” she muttered.

I shot her a “give him a break”
look.

“
Okay , he went out with
you. He must have half a heart.”

I shot her the look again.

“
Okay, he had a heart for
six months and then lost it,” she said giggling.

I shook my head laughing softly,
grabbed the dress, and headed toward the dressing room. My heart
pounded rapidly and I stopped abruptly, recalling that dreadful
night. I took a deep breath and walked in. As I undressed in the
dressing room, I could see what was left of the wound that had
healed almost completely. The bite mark left four tiny scars;
evidence of Julia’s existence. I placed my hand over them as
flashbacks of that terrifying night came to mind. I snapped back to
reality when I heard Patty’s voice.

“
I’m waiting!” Patty
yelled.

“
Hold your horses. I’m
coming out!” I yelled back.

“
You don’t have to yell,
I’m right here.”

“
Sorry,” I said, smiling
as I stepped out of the dressing room. Turning side to side, I
looked in the mirror and back to Patty to see if she approved.
Patty looked proud of herself. “Thanks, Patty. I don’t know what to
say.”

“
You’re welcome.” She
smiled. “I love it on you! This dress was meant for you. Watch out,
senior class, here comes Claudia,” she teased.

I blushed, but it wasn’t the senior
class that I wanted to see me all dressed up. Would I ever have the
opportunity to show Michael? “Are you telling me the truth, or are
you selling?” I winked.

“
Look at yourself in the
mirror, and there is your answer.”

“
Thank you for my
beautiful gift,” I said and gave her a long hug again.

“
I’m glad you like it.
Someone’s gotta dress you pretty. Now get back to work.”

“
Yes, boss,” I said
sharply, and then we both laughed.

Patty attended to a customer who had
just walked in, and I quickly changed back into my jeans and
T-shirt. Since it was a typical busy Saturday, time flew. I was
scheduled to work only a half day, since Patty knew that it was my
birthday when she set the schedule. I was happy to get off work
early, since I was eager to visit Gamma.

Chapter 10

Gamma lived in a two-bedroom house, a
couple of blocks from where I lived. I could have parked my car at
home and walked to her house, but I wanted to show her my new car.
Anxious to see her, I quickly ran toward the front door and banged
on it, as if I was going to break it down.

“
I’m coming,” she
exclaimed in her loud voice, which wasn’t very loud.

When she opened the door, I flung my
arms around her tiny body and kissed her on her cheeks several
times. It always amazed me how beautiful her short curly white hair
looked on her. Most elderly people have gray hair, but her hair was
a pure shade of white. And it was all natural, not dyed; that was
the beauty of it.

“
I missed you! It’s been
too long,” I said even though I saw her practically every
Sunday.

“
Come in. Come
in.”

My eyes automatically went to her
hands that were holding a wooden red rosary. I felt a little
uncomfortable interrupting her, assuming she was praying. It amazed
me how her house always looked so tidy, not a picture frame out of
place.

“
I see you got a new car,
but then again, I knew before you,” she teased.

“
You knew I was getting a
car?” I asked excitedly. “Mom told you.”

Of course she would share that kind of
information with her since they spoke practically on a daily basis.
She led me to the window. We could clearly see my parked
car.

“
It’s beautiful,” she
said, and I noticed the wrinkles on her forehead.

She looked tired and older today. She
sat in her rocking chair and took a deep breath.

“
Tired, Gamma?” I asked
while I helped her place the blanket on her lap.

“
I’m just old, honey. You
know, I’m eighty-eight years old.”

“
You don’t look that old,”
I stated.

She smiled, and her eyes fixated
outside the window toward my car. “You know, when I was your age, I
had a car too. It was the most exciting feeling. That was a very
long time ago. Now, I’d rather not drive. Tell me, what are your
plans?”

“
I’m meeting Mom for
dinner, but you probably already know.”

She smiled. As I continued to speak, I
sat facing her to give her my full attention, and that was when I
saw her eyeing my necklace.

“
Beautiful,” she commented
while placing it gently on the palm of her hand. I froze. I had
forgotten to hide it underneath my shirt. I didn’t want to make it
obvious that I was trying to keep it a secret, so I relaxed after
my initial shock.

“
This gift was not from
your mother. Who could have given such a beautiful gift to you?
Perhaps a gentleman?”

I didn’t say a word. I didn’t know
what to say.

“
Love is everything when
you find it. It can take you places and make you feel like you’ve
never felt before. It makes you strong, and at the same time, it
can make you feel vulnerable because you give all of yourself
completely. Humans are unique because we can feel it and give it.
Am I boring you with love talk?” Her eyes widened
questioningly.

“
No, Gamma, not at all.” I
knew what she meant because I felt it. I wanted to tell her the
truth, but what would she think? When words fail me, my emotions
take over. I didn’t know what possessed me; I lunged into her lap
and started sobbing. I couldn’t stop. I was overwhelmed with all
that I had endured lately, and I just broke down. I thought about
my friend Claudia, angels, alkins, fallen, and Michael. Everything
happened so fast.

“
What’s wrong, honey?” she
asked, worriedly. “Did I say something to offend you?”

Gamma was always there for me when I
needed a bandage on my cut. She was always there for me when I
needed a good cry, and she knew how to comfort me and make me feel
safe. This was the first time I couldn’t open up to her, and I felt
crushed. I felt like I was doing something behind her back, but
this was one secret I couldn’t tell her, no matter how guilty I
felt. I couldn’t answer her. I just continued to sob.

“
Are these tears of pain,
sadness, or happiness? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” she
asked tenderly.

They were tears of all the above. I
finally managed to stop and wiped my tears. I wanted to ask her
questions, but I didn’t know where to start. I thought of many
different ways to approach it, but I had to start with the first
question that came to mind.

“
Do you believe in
angels?” I asked, hesitantly.

She looked stunned, and answered with
a troubled look on her face. “Yes.”

“
Why? How do you believe
in something you cannot see?”

She was searching for words. She
closed her eyes tightly, then reopened them. I don’t know what I
had expected her to say, but I was disappointed. I thought, being
as religious as she was, she would have some answers.

“
Well, I…that’s a good
question. I just do, honey. Why do you ask this question? Did
something happen?”

I didn’t answer her, instead I
immediately asked another. “Do you believe in God?”

“
Yes,” she said, as I had
expected.