Crossroads (16 page)

“
I don’t know what I
believe,” I said, worried about what she would think of me. “I
don’t understand why He would allow bad things to happen to good
people and why He would allow good people to suffer.” I was
thinking about Claudia and her tragic death.

“
Well, it is difficult to
believe in someone you can’t see. I don’t know why some people just
believe and some people question His existence, but you wouldn’t be
human if you didn’t question it. It doesn’t make you a bad person.
Humans are special beings because we have the freedom to make good
or bad choices. Bad and good things happen to all people. If things
happen beyond our control, then it was just meant to be. Everything
in this universe is about balance. If there is good, there must be
bad. If there is happiness, there must be sadness. But one thing is
for sure, there is always a light at the end. You just have to be
patient and believe. Humans are all different, and life experiences
mold us to become who we are. I cannot tell you to believe or not
to believe. You, and only you, will find the truth. It might be
tomorrow, or in a year. Who knows? It is something you will find in
your own time.”

“
Do you think less of me?”
I asked, not able to look her in the eyes.

“
Of course not, Claudia,”
she said, lifting my chin. “You have much to experience, and I will
never judge you.”

She had never judged me. I had been
perfect to her in every way since the day I was born. In her eyes,
I was special, and I could do no wrong. She was my comfort zone,
and that was one of the many reasons why I loved being with her.
Listening to her words of wisdom, I placed my arms around her small
belly and lay my head on her lap again. As I let Gamma’s words sink
in, I felt like a little girl longing to feel safe and
accepted.

We continued to enjoy each other’s
company, with me chatting about school and work, when we were
interrupted by Gamma’s phone. I immediately thought of Mom. I
hadn’t realized that I had been there for two hours, and I was late
for dinner.

“
I’ll tell her to meet you
there,” she said quietly. “No, no, no…you girls catch up. I’m sure.
Talk to you later,” she said and hung up the phone.

I stood up, not wanting to leave.
Gamma walked me to the door.

“
Why won’t you come out to
dinner with us?” I asked.

“
I want you to have your
time with your mom. I’ll only get in the way.”

“
Gamma, that’s not true,”
I said, thinking she was always considerate of other people’s
feelings. She wanted Mom and me to have our quality time together,
since I didn’t get to see her that often. And I knew that once she
made up her mind, she stuck to it. I knew there was no way I could
convince her to come out with us, so I didn’t bother to pursue
it.

Gamma opened the door. “Have a
wonderful dinner with your mom. Oh! I almost forgot,” she said as
she placed an item around my wrist. “I had this made especially for
you. It was blessed by Father Roy. May you find comfort and peace
in whatever lies ahead.”

It was a bracelet made with
brown-colored stones. In the center was a cross that blended with
the bracelet so it was hardly noticeable. There was a symbolic
meaning behind her gift, and it was a fashionable way for a
teenager to hold a rosary.

“
This one is for you to
wear, and this one is for your car.”

They looked exactly alike. “Oh Gamma,
they’re beautiful. I will wear it all the time, and I will put this
one in my car.” I placed my gifts over my heart to show her how
much I appreciated her thoughtfulness. “I love you,” I said, as I
kissed both of her cheeks and hugged her before I headed out to my
car.

“
Happy birthday!” she said
excitedly. “And drive carefully! Don’t stay out too late! And call
me later!”

I turned to wave good-bye, blew a
kiss, and drove away to meet Mom for dinner.

“
Mom!” I waved to her
where she was seated at a booth waiting for me. “I’m sorry. I lost
track of time.”

She got out of her seat to hug me.
“It’s all right, honey. It’s been a while since you got to spend
some quality one-on-one time with Gamma. How is she?”

“
She’s fine, but she looks
so frail,” I said worriedly.

“
That’s what happens when
you get old. Don’t worry. I’ll go check on her later. She is
strong, and you know how stubborn she is. I guess you couldn’t
convince her to come out with us.”

“
Nope.”

“
What would you like to
eat?” she asked, changing the subject.

“
The usual, the house
special hamburger, please,” I replied. “I’m so hungry, I could eat
a horse.”

“
That hungry, huh?” She
laughed softly. “Anything else?” she asked lovingly.

“
How about some curly
fries?”

“
Anything for the birthday
girl.”

The waiter came by our table. I didn’t
look up at him until I heard his voice. He was tall with a cute,
friendly face.

“
Hello. I’m Austin. I’ll
be your waiter tonight. Care to order your drinks first while you
decide on what you would like for dinner?”

“
Sure,” Mom and I answered
back simultaneously.

“
I’ll have the peach iced
tea,” I said, looking straight at him.

“
Good choice,” he said
quickly and smiled. “And how about you, ma’am?” he asked Mom
politely.

“
That sounds refreshing.
I’ll have the same, but could you take our orders too?”

“
Sure, what would you
like?”

“
The house special burger
for my daughter, with curly fries, and I’ll have your cob salad
with chicken.”

“
Thank you. I’ll be back
with your drinks first.”

As he walked away, Mom giggled like a
teenager gloating over a cute guy. “I saw the way he was looking at
you, honey.”

“
Mom!” I hissed quietly,
leaning against the table with a shy smile on my face. Although I
was flattered, I felt uncomfortable talking to her about
guys.

“
Whaaaat?” she asked.
“Can’t a mom say something when a good-looking guy seems interested
in her beautiful daughter?”

“
No, especially not on her
birthday,” I whispered.

“
All right,” she
surrendered and changed the subject, becoming serious.

She leaned toward me as if she was
going to tell me a secret. “How are you, honey? I mean, you look so
tired these days. Is everything all right?” She placed her right
hand over my left hand that was resting on the table.

I wasn’t all right. I was hiding a
secret, a kind of secret I couldn’t even share with my mom. “I’m
fine, Mom,” I answered, unable to look her in the eyes.

“
Honey, you can tell me
anything. You know that, don’t you? We didn’t get to talk much
after Claudia’s death. How are you dealing with it?”

“
Of course I’m sad, and I
miss her, but it’s a bit easier to let her go since our friendship
had drifted apart. I know she will always be a part of me, but I’m
dealing with it, so don’t worry,” I reassured her, forcing a smile
on my face. “Don’t worry too much, it’s not good for your skin,” I
teased, trying to lighten the mood. “But seriously, I’m fine.
Better than I thought I would be.” And that was the truth. When
Claudia had given me the last hug in my dream, I was able to let
her go in peace.

Mom squeezed my hand before letting
go. “Okay, take it easy. I don’t like seeing you like
this.”

Did I look that bad? I didn’t even
notice.

Austin came to our table with our
food, smiling. “Let me know what else I can help you
with.”

“
Ketchup and Tabasco,
please?” I asked.

“
Anything for you. I’ll be
right back.” His tone was flirtatious.

I shyly looked down as he
left.

“
I told you he’s
interested,” Mom teased.

“
Mom,” I said, feeling my
face get warm.

“
He has a nice, toned body
too,” she added.

Before I could say anything, Austin
returned. “Here you go.” He placed the ketchup and Tabasco bottles
gently on the table. “Anything else I can do for you?”

“
No, thank you,” I
responded. I noticed his smile as he walked away.

Mom and I had such a wonderful time
eating and bonding that we promised to do it more often. As I lay
in bed that night, I stared out the window, recapping what a
peaceful night I’d had. I was wishing it hadn’t ended so quickly.
Then thoughts of Michael burned through my mind, as they always did
when he was away. I rubbed the crystal necklace he gave me as if I
was rubbing a magic lamp, wishing for him to appear. He was my
first thought as I woke in the morning and my last thought as I
fell asleep at night.

Looking in the darkness, I could see a
few glittering stars, and wondered if Michael was looking at them
too. I couldn’t help but be amazed every time I thought of him. Why
me? What was so special about me that I was able to cross over from
my dream to his world?

The next day, after church, Patty and
I went to work. Sundays were usually slow, but it was fun for us
because we got to catch up on our gossip and even try on a few new
clothes.

“
I have something else to
give you,” Patty said, gleaming.

“
Another gift? But you
already got me something,” I said, thinking about the dress she got
for me on my birthday.

Patty looked very nervous and started
to play with her hair. That told me that she was up to something.
“Okay, it’s not new. In fact, I’m just letting you borrow it. I…
well…I knew you wouldn’t go, so I’m making you go ’cause you’re my
best friend…and…I really would like for you to be
there.”

“
Where?” I was short with
her, wondering what on earth she was talking about.

“
Camping! I know you don’t
like camping, but—”

I didn’t let her finish. “That’s
right.” I agreed quickly, and pretended to be busy with the cash
register.

“
Come on, Claudia. It will
be fun. It’s only for two days. Please!” She begged with her hands
clasped together.

“
You know I don’t like
bugs, bears, and especially snakes!” I grumbled with a disgusted
look, envisioning the night I got attacked by Julia, the demonic
snake.

She gave me a pleading look. “You’ll
be sleeping with me, and I’ll take care of you.”

“
Bathrooms?” I
asked.

“
For sure, toilets and hot
showers. I promise.” She gave me the sign of the cross.

“
I’ll think about it.” I
said, to get her off my back.

“
Well, don’t think too
hard because…you see…I kind of…sort of told Mrs. Lee that we needed
next weekend off.”

“
You did what?” I was
furious. I hated it when she made decisions for me without
consulting me.

“
I’m sorry, but I really
want you to go. I know you’ll have a wonderful time, and plus, when
will we get this opportunity again? I know your mom will be fine
with it since we would be going with our church youth
group.”