Crowam 281 (20 page)

Felix reached around and put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m afraid Jake is right, gentlemen. I’m afraid we’re at a crossroads. We could either stay here and await our fate, or we take our chances and escape. Either way, there’s a chance we might not make it out alive. But for our freedom, escaping is worth the chance.”

Tom chuckled from the back of the room. He seemed unfazed by my recent revelations. “Boy, what a sorry bunch of
arseholes
. Listening to you makes me have the runs.”

“This concerns you too, Tom. What makes you so special?”

“Me? Why I’m going to live forever. Of course I can’t speak for the rest of you.”

“Tom, we can’t do this alone.”

“I got news for you Yank, we’re all in this alone. And I don’t need you or anybody else’s help.”

“Tom. I know deep down behind all that anger, there is a good person.”

“You know nothing about me or who I am,” Tom said.

“I know enough to know this is all an act.”

Tom walked up to me, looking like he was ready to throw a punch. He decided to toss a chair instead. His face filled with anger and confusion. He wasn’t any different than the rest of us. He just had an incendiary way of showing it.

“I’ll talk to him,” Felix said.

“Good, we’ll need him.”

“Well, we’re going to need a plan. Have any ideas?” Charles asked.

The plan would have to be simple. There were so many of us, which I thought could play to our advantage. “There’s more of us than them. I think if we can get organized, we can overtake the guards.”

“That’s a risky plan, Owen said. “Besides, the bloody Bus Driver alone is enough to deal with.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him,” I said.

“But how do we rally enough boys? Most of them either don’t care or are scared out of their minds,” Felix said.

“Once they find out what’s really going on here, that’ll have plenty of motivation. But we need to create a distraction to lure the guards. While they’re distracted, we can escape through the ventilation shaft. The kitchen is large enough to house the boys while they enter the shaft.”

“You really expect to get all these boys out through those shafts? It’s a maze in there. Besides, you don’t even know where the hatch that leads outside is located,” Owen said.

“I know there’s a way out. I felt the rush of air when I was inside them.”

“Those shafts, we’ll be packed like sardines, it’ll take too long to for all of us to escape,” Charles said.

“We need just enough of us to escape in order to alert the outside world. The rest of us can distract the guards and buy us some time.”

“This plan of yours, will it work?” Owen asked.

“I don’t know,” I said, unsure if honesty was the best approach.

“You don’t know?” Charles said.

“Well, do you have any better ideas?” I asked. “Because now is the time.”

“I just… well… this is too much for me,” Charles said. “I don’t think I’m up for it.”

“Charles, you
have
to be up for it,” I said. “I know you can do it. We all need to rise to the occasion sometimes. Now is that time.”

“I think I’m going to bed. Have a pleasant evening,” Charles said before walking out of the door.

Most of the boys left while Felix and I stayed to hash out the details. There wasn’t a whole a lot to it. It was more guts and brawn than strategy, but sometimes the simplest plans were the best ones.

“Felix, you’ll need to lead the boys through the air ducts. Can you do that?” I asked.

“Why can’t you do it?” Felix asked.

“Because they’ll listen to you,” I said. “I don’t think I’m much of a leader. If there’s anything I’m good at, it’s causing trouble. And I plan on being a thorn in the ass to Mr. Hugo.”

Felix poured me a shot of vodka in a dirty glass. He handed it to me before pouring himself some in a glass that looked cleaner than mine. “Well, things are going to get very interesting around here,” Felix said.

“Yes they are,” I said, as I took a sip.

I left the basement and went over to Charles’s room. I knocked on the door. Charles opened it, wide-awake. “Hey,” I said.

“Hi.”

“Can I talk to you?”

“Of course.”

“Were you sleeping?” I asked. “I could come back later.”

“It’s ok. I can’t sleep.” Charles’s bed was neatly made. The room was organized, with its contents in order. “Where’s Felix?” Charles asked.

“He’s in the basement getting drunk.”

“And you let him drink alone?”

“Sometimes a stiff drink is all the good company you need. Besides, it was getting too cramped down there.”

Charles looked uncomfortable, playing with the string that tightened his pajama pants.

“Charles, you know we need all hands on deck on this one.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Can you do this?”

“I don’t know, Jake. I’m scared. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“None of us have. We’re all scared.”

“My whole life, I’ve been known as the fat boy. I’ve heard my share of fat jokes. No one has ever taken me seriously. I’ve never stood up for myself.”

“Maybe this is a good opportunity to change all that,” I said.

“How? I’m not a fighter.”

“Fighting doesn’t have to be done with just your fists.”

“You know it’s going to eventually come down to that,” Charles said.

“Most likely. Sometimes we get into circumstances we have no control over. It’s how we choose to handle these situations that can define who we are.”

“Can you tell me about Thomas, how they...”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“But why would they do such a thing?”

“Maybe they do it because they can. It could be just as simple as that.”

“How can it be so simple? I mean, it just doesn’t make sense.”

“Maybe that’s how evil works. It doesn’t have to make sense. It just is.”

Charles looked tired and bewildered at our circumstances. I could tell he was uninterested in continuing our conversation. “Why don’t you get some rest? It’s been a long day.”

“Yes it has. Goodnight, Jake.”

“Night.” I left Charles’s dorm, diligently shutting the door tight. I walked toward my room before I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. It was as if a baseball bat hit me in the back of my skull. I fell to the ground, not remembering anything after that.

I thought someone shot me in the back of the head. I didn’t even have a chance. The light grew brighter. I felt my eyelids flutter, my eyes adjusting to the stream of light hitting my pupils. That’s when I realized I wasn’t dead.

I came to my senses when I figured out I was in the operating room. The sterile and fluorescent lights were all too familiar. When I woke up, I thought I was going to vomit. The back of my head throbbed with pain from whatever hit it. I was thirsty, too. My eyes and throat felt dry. The crusts wedged in the corner of my eyes were thick from being closed for so long. When I finally awoke, I saw a face staring at me. The blue eyes observed me with disturbing intimacy.

“Hello Jake,” Hannah said.

I found myself strapped to a bed. The leather straps were tightly secured, chaffing my skin. Even awake, I felt groggy, as if I was drugged. “Hannah?” I asked.

“Yes, it’s me darling. How are you feeling?”

“Where am I?”

‘That doesn’t matter. We’re together. That’s the important thing.”

“Am I dead?”

“No silly. You’re not dead.”

“Why am I strapped to this table?”

“I’m sorry we have to see each other again in such circumstances. This is for your own protection.”

“I can take care of myself. Can you remove the straps?”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Jake, do you remember when you asked me to leave with you?”

“Yes.”

“I must admit I was tempted, but then I realized how much you and I belong here. Out there, there is nothing but distractions that could lure you away from me. Here, we can be together. The outside world bring nothing but heartache. Here, our love will be pure.”

“You’re not making any sense,” I said.

“Soon my dear, you’ll understand. You’ll enter a new world of enlightenment where you won’t feel pain and anger. You won’t regret the past or worry about the future. You’ll just be. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

“You’re crazy.”

Hannah smiled as if she was proud of her insanity. “When we made love Jake, I felt your life essence. I can’t have children Jake, but we created something as wonderful as the joy a child could bring; a new world where there is no emotion, no side effects from living in chaos…only contained order. Isn’t that wonderful?”

You can often find out who people really are in the most unusual of circumstances. The sweet girl with heavenly eyes turned into a monster right in front of me, capitulated by madness. I yearned to escape, but struggled to free myself from the leather straps. Hannah seemed to not care about my struggle. She just watched as I did everything I could to escape. “Relax, darling. Soon it will all be over and you will have nothing to be afraid of anymore.”

“Hannah, you don’t have to do this. You can still do something right in all this mess. You think this is love? This is torture. You’re destroying people’s lives.”

Mr. Hugo emerged from behind Hannah wearing a grin. “Mr. Hudson. How good to see you. How is our patient, Hannah?”

“He’s doing well, Mr. Hugo,” Hannah replied.

Mr. Hugo kissed Hannah on the lips. The kiss was wet and long. My face cringed with disgust. I never thought I could truly hate someone as much as I hated Mr. Hugo. “Hannah is quite the lovely girl isn’t she?”

“Hannah..?”

“Hannah isn’t so innocent as you thought, Mr. Hudson. Both of us would know.”

“Go to hell,” I said.

“Oh, let’s not behave like children. It seems you still haven’t learned anything during your stay here.”

“The only thing I learned is that this place is a slaughterhouse where you torture and maim us boys. You’re a monster.”

“Yes, perhaps my ways are cruel and unusual. Men are the only true monsters in this world. Actually, the world needs monsters. Without evil, there would be no good. In a way, I contribute to bringing balance and order to this world.”

“Why are you doing this?” I asked

Mr. Hugo rubbed his chin with puzzlement, as if he was figuring out a math equation.

“You see, Mr. Hudson, the human body is nothing more but flesh and bone, a bundle of organs neatly packaged all interconnected so that the body functions in working order. I’ve always enjoyed creating chaos amidst order. To take something, break it down, and rebuild it again. You might think some of my creations are horrid. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Mr. Hudson. I consider myself an artist of the human condition. What I create is a reflection of who we are as a species. How you react to my work serves as nothing more but a mirror into your soul. And when you looked into yours, I’m sure you didn’t like what you saw.”

“Who the hell are you?” I asked.

Mr. Hugo only smiled an evil smile. He caressed my head, as if I was some sort of stray animal he found on the street. “You know, when I was a child, my father, he would always tell me that in life, a man was defined by the choices he makes. That’s the beauty and tragedy of life. The choices we make can bring us joy or pain. But soon, you won’t have to worry about either one.”

“You think you can get away with this?” I said.

“Yes, I do,” he leaned over and whispered in my ear. “You’re mine now. Your body, mind, and soul, to do with as I wish.” He left as quickly as he came, like a ghost through the night, coming and going as he pleased.

“Momma,” I said to myself. That’s all I could muster up. Funny thing how we yearn for our mothers near the end. I wish she was with me. I missed my parents. The memories we shared. I never really appreciated the times we had together. I was indifferent, thinking I was just like every kid, but I wasn’t. What I had was special, damn special. I guess you never realize what you have till it’s gone.

I felt alone and tired. Petrified, I feared I was about to be facing the same fate as Thomas and countless others. Hannah continued to look at me. “Stop looking at me,” I asked.

“Oh, Jake. Please don’t make this more difficult for both of us.”

“You’re not the one strapped to this bed!”

“I know this may be difficult for you. But the pain will all be over soon.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I wish that were true, darling. Sometimes who we are can only be defined by our circumstances.” Hannah grabbed a syringe from the metal tray next to her. “This won’t hurt.”

“Please, Hannah.”

“To a new beginning!”

Without warning, I heard a loud thud. Hannah’s eyes rolled. She fell to the ground. Owen stood over her, holding a metal tray.

“Owen!”

“You sure have a way with women,” Owen said.

“Tell me about it. How did you find me?”

“I followed you. I saw Hannah and some of the guards carry you. I used the ventilation shafts like you said. I figured they would take you here, based on what you told us.”

“Thank you, Owen. I don’t know…”

“Consider us even. I best untie you.” He unhinged the straps. When I got out of the bed, I was a little dizzy, probably from whatever drug they used to sedate me. “Are you alright?” Owen asked.

“A little dizzy. But I’m ok.”

“What do we do about her?” Owen asked, pointing to Hannah.

I turned over Hannah, who was unconscious. Owen did a hell of a job at that. I removed the hair covering her eyes. She was still beautiful. I couldn’t grasp her intentions, the madness she succumbed to. I wondered if there was any good still in her. Did she always have within her the seed to do horrible things? Was she always this way? Or did Crowam turn her into a wretched accomplice to torture and torment?

“What’s wrong?” Owen asked.

“Nothing.”

“You’re not still all bent out of shape over her?”