Authors: Bertrice Small
Marzina's pale face was drained of its little color. She looked to her grandmother. "What did you mean
given who her real father is,
Grandmother?" Her young voice was shaking, and her violet eyes were wide with her fear.
Lara reached out to grasp Kaliq's arm. Her fingers dug hard into the muscle. Ilona made a small sound, not quite a whimper, not quite a moan. Her eyes desperately sought Lara's.
"Magnus Hauk was my father, wasn't he?" Marzina's young voice was pained.
Lara drew a very deep breath then let it out with a sigh. Letting go of Kaliq's arm, she reached for her youngest daughter, drawing Marzina into a gentle embrace. "Do you know how much I love you, impossible child?" she said, and she stroked the dark head. "Even when you do foolish things, and lie boldly to me, I still love you."
Marzina looked up at her mother. The warm arms about her were comforting, and she felt safer than she had in decades. "Oh, Mama, I am sorry," she said. "Kaliq did not approach me. I approached him, and when he rebuffed me I was angry. I did not mean to lie, but I have admired him my whole life."
"I know," Lara said softly. "You are forgiven your lapse, my darling." She kissed the top of Marzina's head.
"But what did grandmother mean, Mama? Magnus Hauk was my father, wasn't he?" Marzina's eyes questioned Lara anxiously.
There was no way she could escape telling Marzina the secret she had kept for so many years. "You and Taj were born from my womb on the same day," Lara began. "You were believed to be fraternal twins. And Magnus Hauk believed that you were his child as was your brother. But you were not his child, Marzina. Newly pregnant with Taj, I was violated upon the Dream Plain by Kol, the Twilight Lord. You are his daughter," Lara told her youngest child.
"No!" Marzina cried out, and she looked to both Ilona and Kaliq to tell her it was not so, but they did not speak.
"There is more," Lara said, "and you must know it. Long ago as I summered in the New Outlands with the clan families, Kol, the Twilight Lord, kidnapped me and robbed me of my memories. He believed I was his chosen mate, and I believed I was his wife. He impregnated me with his son. Twilight Lords can only sire a single male heir although they can have many daughters. Kaliq helped restore my memories and told me that it was planned that I bear a son for Kol who would cause chaos within the Dark Lands. By means of my magic, now restored to me, I divided the child into two children. And indeed the birth of Kolgrim and Kolbein did cause eventual anarchy in the Dark Lands. I returned to my own life. The memories of the months in which I was gone were removed from us all to protect us. But Kol began invading my dreams, seeking to bring me back. Kaliq finally had to tell me what happened and restore the memories of my time in the Dark Lands so I might protect myself, because Kol was threatening to tell Magnus what had happened. I, however, told him first."
"What did my fath--what did the Dominus say when you told him?" Marzina asked her mother. She looked so vulnerable, so broken at that moment.
"He was furious. His pride was crushed. He railed at me, at Kaliq. At one point your grandmother threatened to turn him to stone he angered her so greatly," Lara said. "But then his anger and hurt cooled, for your father loved me."
"Do not call him my father!" Marzina cried. "He was not my father! My father was some monster who forced his seed upon you!" And she began to weep bitterly.
Lara wrapped her arms about her youngest child and, holding her tightly, rocked her back and forth. "Magnus Hauk never knew the truth of your conception, my darling. He believed himself your father, and he was your father. The only father you ever had."
"I am the Twilight Lord's sister then," Marzina said slowly, and suddenly she remembered a time long ago when she had first gone to live in the forest with her royal grandmother. She had learned how to transport herself by magic, and in her excitement had appeared in Lara's privy chamber, surprising her. Marzina had found her mother in conversation with two young men, but Lara had quickly magicked them away with little explanation. "That first time I learned how to transport myself..." she began.
"Aye--" Lara nodded "--I remember."
"I gained barely a glimpse of the two men with you. Their faces were identical, but one was dark, the other light." Marzina cudgeled her memory. "Which one of them became the Twilight Lord, Mother?"
"Kolgrim, the one with the golden hair," Lara replied.
"What happened to the other, the dark one?" Marzina persisted.
"Kolgrim imprisoned him with their father in a cell fashioned by the Shadow Princes," Lara explained. "Neither of them will ever be free."
Marzina felt cold. Tears still ran down her face, staining it, but she paid little heed to her tears. In these past few minutes her entire world had been turned upside down. "Then that is why I am all magic when neither Anoush, Zagiri or Taj had any magic at all about them," Marzina said thoughtfully.
"That is why," Lara told her, stroking the long black hair.
"Both light and dark inhabit my soul," Marzina remarked. "And the balance must be kept. Is that not so, Mother?" She looked into Lara's face.
"It is to be hoped, Marzina, that the light will overwhelm any dark within you, for in the battle to come we will need your help, too," Lara said.
Marzina was silent, and then she finally spoke. "Now I understand why I do the reckless things I sometimes do."
"No one is perfect," Lara answered her. "Even in the magic world. There is always a balance."
"How can you love me?" Marzina asked brokenly. "
He
forced himself upon you."
"It is true that you were not conceived from love," Lara told her youngest daughter candidly, "but from the moment I laid eyes upon you I loved you, Marzina. And Magnus loved you. Your whole life you have been surrounded by love, and it is love that makes you strong, and will keep you strong."
"But if fath--if the Dominus had known the truth, Mother, would he have loved me? If he knew my sire was evil personified, could he have loved me?"
"Yes!" Lara spoke without hesitation. "He would have loved you no matter. That I know for certain. Your father's heart was a large one for a mortal, Marzina."
Suddenly the Queen of the Forest Faeries spoke. "Well, Marzina, now you know the consequences of eavesdropping. I hope you have learned your lesson. When I think how we have all struggled to protect you over the years, and are you any better for the knowledge you have gained this day?"
"I am sadder, Grandmother, but I am wiser," Marzina answered. "Now I will work harder to overcome my sire's heritage."
Lara hugged the young faerie woman. "There is far more of the light in you than there is dark," she said. "But one thing, Marzina. Kolgrim does not know the truth of your heritage. If he learns it, he will attempt to turn you to him. He is very charming and very persuasive. But he is far more wicked than his father ever was. Be warned."
"I hope she will listen to you now as she never listened to me," Ilona said irritably.
Lara shot her mother a fierce look, and seeing it, the Queen of the Forest Faeries laughed aloud. "It is not funny, Mother," Lara said.
"Oh, but it is, my darling," Ilona said. "You have at long last perfected my look of disapproval and righteous indignation. You did it quite well, Lara."
Now Marzina giggled and Kaliq began to chuckle. Even Lara smiled as she saw the humor in her mother's words. The worst was over for now. Marzina knew the terrible truth of her birth, but with constant reassurance and love she would recover and be all the stronger, Lara was certain. Kaliq's voice broke into her thoughts.
"Marzina, your mother and I would like you to make your home with us," he said.
"But I am a Forest Faerie," Marzina began, then she stopped. "I don't think I know where I belong now," she admitted.
"You belong with your mother for now," Kaliq told her. "You belong in the light and sun of our desert."
"I need to be alone with this," Marzina said frankly.
Ilona looked worried at her granddaughter's words. This had to have been a terrible shock for Marzina, but it was true that she needed time to come to terms with it.
"I have the perfect place," Lara said with a smile.
"She should come back to the forest with me," Ilona insisted.
"Nay," Lara said. "She should be allowed the privilege of my own special place." Lara looked to Kaliq, who smiled and nodded.
"Aye, 'tis perfect, my love," he agreed.
"Where is that, Mother?" Marzina wanted to know.
"Zeroun," Lara told her.
"That isolated oasis?" Ilona said. "It's hot and sandy. Nay, Marzina needs the cool green forests to restore her spirit!"
"I think it is Marzina who must decide," Kaliq said. His eyes met Lara's and she nodded imperceptibly. Kaliq then caught Marzina's hand, and they disappeared.
Ilona stamped her foot irritably. "How like Kaliq to do something like that! Are you certain you can trust Marzina alone with him?" she said wickedly. "I am going home since my presence obviously isn't required here." And the Queen of the Forest Faeries was gone in a puff of royal-purple mist.
Lara laughed ruefully. How like her mother to say something hurtful when she couldn't get her own way. Unlike her grandmother, Marzina rarely made the same mistake twice. Lara reclined upon a couch and watched the rising moons of Hetar as about her the night birds sang softly, and the night blooms perfumed the warm air. She sensed Kaliq's return before he actually appeared by her side, joining her on the couch.
"She loves it and will remain for a few days," he said, dropping a kiss upon Lara's bare shoulder. "I've put a spell on the oasis so no one will find it while she is there."
Lara began to cry softly. "I didn't want her ever to know, Kaliq. I didn't want her to learn about Kol, or her brothers. And now I am afraid if she learns the truth, Kolgrim may very well learn it, too."
"Kolgrim will be too busy taking a bride and impregnating her with his son," Kaliq said.
"We know nothing until we have gone to the Dark Lands ourselves," Lara replied. "What we think we know is but whispers upon the wind. Tomorrow. We must go tomorrow, Kaliq. And there is only one way we will learn what we need to know. I will have to ask my son myself."
"He could lie to you," Kaliq reminded her.
"Aye, he could," Lara agreed, "but he has his father's ego and pride. He cannot resist sharing his cleverness with me. If I ask him, he will tell me some of the truth. The rest we will have to learn for ourselves. I know you would come with me, Kaliq, but if you do you must remain cloaked. He will not speak before you as freely as he will to me alone. And you know the Twilight Lords are incapable of detecting Shadow Princes, so he will not know you are there."
"Very well, my love," Kaliq said. "We won't learn everything, but what little we do learn will enable us to ferret out the rest."
They fell asleep together upon the reclining couch in the gardens, and when they awoke Lara sought out a balcony in Kaliq's palace that faced the rising sun. Pulling her loose gown from her, she stood, arms outstretched by her sides, her palms up, and allowed the great golden orb to bathe her. Its rays shot forth to fill her with strength, and she radiated light. It seeped into her flesh, and could be called upon later to protect her. When the sun had finally risen above the horizon, Lara left the balcony and went to bathe. Then Cadi dressed her in a beautiful white gown with long full sleeves and a rounded neckline. The serving woman fastened a gold rope belt about Lara's waist and slipped gold sandals upon her dainty feet. Brushing her mistress's long gilt-colored hair, she plaited it neatly, weaving delicate ropes of gold amid it so that the hair glittered even more than it naturally did.
When she was ready, she joined Kaliq. Together they broke their fast. He had bathed and was dressed all in white, too. His bright blue eyes sparkled in his tanned face as he fed Lara bits of melon, and she laughed at him, licking his fingers teasingly. He stopped, shaking his head at her in mock disapproval. "We have business to attend to first, my love," he said. "Do not distract me."
"Then do not treat me as if I were your special pet," Lara shot back as she buttered a piece of fresh warm bread and began to eat it.
"Your point is taken, faerie woman," he responded. "But I cannot resist you."
"I know," Lara answered him, grinning mischievously.
"Remind me to take a lover one day soon," he said wickedly.
"If you insist," she chortled. "Would you like me to choose her for you?"
Kaliq burst out laughing. "I do not know how your mortal husbands survived that sharp tongue of yours, my love."
"I thought you liked my tongue," Lara teased back.
"Stop! Stop!" he pleaded, laughing harder, and she laughed with him.
The meal finally concluded, they went to Kaliq's library, where he took a black onyx bowl from a cabinet and, taking up an earthenware pitcher, poured water from it into the bowl. The water lay crystal clear and still within the wide almost flat dish.
Lara waved her left hand above the water, saying as she did, "Show me Kolgrim."
The water darkened, and then clarified to reveal the Twilight Lord in his Throne Room consulting the Book of Rule while old Alfrigg stood by his side. The chancellor looked tired, Lara thought.
"Remember, my lord, you are to remain unseen," Lara said to Kaliq.
He nodded and then, wrapping his cloak about them, transported them to the Throne Room of the young Twilight Lord. Lifting the edge of the cape to allow Lara to be seen, it appeared as if she had simply stepped from the air itself.
"Kolgrim," she said by way of greeting.
The Twilight Lord looked up, surprised by the sound of her voice. Then he smiled broadly. "
Mother dear!
How nice of you to visit. How long has it been? A century?" Reaching out to catch her hand, he kissed it.
Lara felt an icy chill race down her spine, but she showed no distaste. "You have left your hair golden," she said. "I would have thought it better if you darkened it."