Crown of Steel (Chaos Awakens) (25 page)

"Well I'm not passing through one of those passages." Crow declared, still staring straight at Xandrith.

"Then don't. I didn't exactly invite you along, did I? You're welcome to leave this group anytime you want to." Xan wasn't able to work all of the agitation from his voice. His boiling aggression was getting difficult to swallow in regards to their little tag-along.

Crow snapped straight, his back poised, his hand hovering over his weapon's hilt. Xandrith went still. Was this the moment he'd been waiting for? He wished he still had his old sense for impending violence, his internal warning system that things were past the point of return. Xan slowly began to gather magic, pulling it from the plants around him and from the boy, Crow.

"I would be a fool to follow you through those passageways, and so would anyone else. You're going to get us all killed." Crow's voice had taken on a rough tone and he took another step towards Xan, his hand inching towards the handle of his fighting steel. "You've lost your mind, Xandrith. The mages tortured your senses out of you." His hand touched the hilt of his weapon and Xan snapped. A lot was different for Xan since the loss of his fighting ability, but the brutality of his responses had not lessened. His arsenal was limited, but what he knew he used effectively.

Xandrith lashed out with his magic, grabbing Crow from his feet and slamming him into a tree trunk with enough force to rattle the entire plant. Kassa screamed at the sudden explosion of violence, jumping forward to grab at Xan's arm and try to hold him back as though physical restraint might actually stop him. Haley seemed to vanish into the background. Crow's scimitar hung loosely from his hand, still in his grip only because it was dangling from his fingertips. Xandrith's power pulsed up from his chest and flooded through his body, feeding into the hunger of his troll side. Violence. It demanded violence. Never was the darkness harder to control than when he embraced the red magic of his lineage while giving into his rage and violence. He reached deep inside of himself and grabbed for fire. He didn't want just a hot, red flame that would slowly burn Little Crow to a cinder. He reached deeper for the dark black and white roaring flames of the true fire, a flame that would turn flesh to ash and bone to dust. He clawed at the power, feeding on Crow's life as he cloaked himself in energy.

"Die." He whispered the word as Kassa clawed and pulled at him trying to get him to stop. He was lost, though. He'd gone too deep into his magic, too deep into his hate for Crow. He released the fire within him, and that is when something went terribly wrong. There was a terrible, loud, rending explosion and the world seemed to reject him, throwing Xan into the air like a child's play thing. A concussion tore through his body, and when it hit his head consciousness swept away from the assassin. He never felt himself hit the ground.

Chapter 2

Everything Wants Us Dead

Xan returned to the world of the living with a groan and a half-hearted propping open of his better eye. Every muscle in his body ached and his left shoulder was sending an uncomfortable spasm through his collar bone. It was either dislocated, broken, or otherwise severely beaten. A shadow fell over him, blocking out the sun that he hadn't really registered as being up. He ignored the shadow for a minute while he tried to decide if he actually wanted to move anymore than he already had. The shadow didn't ignore him, however.

"I was worried about you." Kassa's voice slipped quietly over him like a comforting blanket. For a moment his pain didn't seem so bad. Her presence alone helped him calm down and gave him some anchor by which he might find a place of reason in his world.

"I think I was struck down by an angry god." Xan grunted as he pushed himself into a sitting position. Slowly he was rebuilding the course of events that had led to his black out. "Do gods take pity on loud mouth, annoying brats these days? None of them ever took pity on me, and I am arguably still a loud mouth, annoying brat."

Kassa reached down a hand and helped Xan fight his way back to a standing position. The world swam and churned as he got to both of his legs, regretting his decision to regain consciousness. Oblivion had been much less nauseating.

"Haley claims she broke the magic you were about to unleash. I'm no expert on those kinds of things so I couldn't tell you what actually happened, but she certainly feels responsible." Kassa was brushing the dirt off of Xandrith as she spoke. "All I know is you had that Crow kid pinned to a tree and you looked like you were going to kill him.  There was a loud crackling snap, like thunder, and then you went flying through the air."

Xan nodded numbly. "Haley said she could do that, but I wasn’t sure I believed her." The assassin looked around the campsite. They were in the same place they'd been before he blacked out. He noted the absence of Haley and Crow and a sharp panic took hold of him. "Where did she go? She didn't leave with that kid, did she?"

Kassa put a hand on Xan's shoulder. "Calm down Xan. She went for a walk and Crow offered to accompany her. I don't believe he means her any harm. In fact, I think he might be honestly thankful for her stepping in and saving his life."

Xandrith was still agitated. "I don't trust her being alone with him. Crow is bad news. He's a slave to the trolls."

Kassa nodded her reply. "And he's a young man who is trapped into a fate that he doesn't really have any control over. Haley is the same way. They both have those cursed weapons. You hold that against Crow, but you don't see Haley the same way. She is just as much a threat as he is, Xan."

"Haley would never ..." Xan began to retort, but Kassa cut him off with a finger over his lips.

"I'm not implying that Haley would intentionally betray us, but she's under the sway of that weapon as much as Crow is. It listens through her, and it becomes a stronger influence on her the longer it’s with her. Neither of them are their own people as long as they carry those blades. You should know that better than anyone." Kassa's voice was that of reason, and Xandrith knew it. That didn't mean he enjoyed hearing it.

"I'm not sure I'm fully in control of my anger anymore." Xandrith said quietly, and he let himself slump to the ground. He was done standing. Kassa sat down next to him and put her arm around his shoulder. "When I use my magic while I'm angry or for violence it threatens to burn me up. I feel like a leaf caught in a stream being pulled away. I need the power to do what I must do, but the more I use, the more afraid of it I become. Kassa, what am I supposed to do?" Speaking the truth was difficult.

Kassa squeezed Xan's shoulders, pulling him close to her. "We'll keep going Xan, and when you lose control, I'll pull you back. If you're ever not sure about something, just listen to me and I'll help you find your way back. I'm not going to let you go."

Xandrith chuckled softly. "Our positions have changed. I thought I was the one that was supposed to be saving damsels in distress."

Kassa's wolf-mask features smiled. She reached back behind her head and pulled the mask free, exposing her real smile behind the mask. Xandrith was immediately stricken by how beautiful and honest her face was, and he was stunned to find out just how much he'd missed seeing her real features. The mask didn't entirely hide the Kassa he knew, but seeing her warm eyes staring back at him from her beneath her smooth brow was unmistakably wonderful. She reached out a hand and touched the stubble on his chin that was slowly growing back into a beard.

"You make a gruff damsel." Kassa's voice was light and warmed by her smile. "But I guess I'll have to make do." She leaned in closer, her face bare inches from Xandrith's, and suddenly he was only too aware of what she intended. He leaned forward himself, his lips already tingling in expectation. He'd pictured them doing this exact thing many times, but this would be the first time they'd ever been so intimate. She was so close to him, her eyes locked on his, and he could feel her breath against his lips.

***

Haley walked through the dense brush, mindful of her direction of travel. She needed space and time to think, and she wasn't going to get that with Xan crumpled on the ground looking completely broken by the force of the magic that she'd so abruptly snapped off. She could have killed him. That realization struck her for a third time, and it hit every bit as hard as it had the first. She'd almost killed Xandrith with her power. He'd been on the verge of killing Crow, but that didn't change the fact that she'd used her own power against Xan's, and she'd gone too far. Why had she even interfered on the new-comers behalf?

She didn't owe anything to the tag-along, but when she'd seen the magic gathering around Xandrith she'd reacted on instinct. She hadn't wanted him to kill Crow, and it had been so easy to reach out and snap the currents of his spell as it formed. She hadn't even known what spell she had been breaking, but she'd torn it apart anyway. When black fired had erupted from the ground at Xandrith's feet she'd thought he was dead. He'd been lifted from the ground and tossed away as though he weighed nothing at all. And what had she done instead of going to him? She'd stood there, dumbfounded at the outcome of her tampering. Kassa, who had only just managed to avoid the blast of the refracting magic herself, had gone to Xan's side.

Haley couldn't do it herself. She'd been the one who'd caused the damage. She couldn't bring herself to go and see up close what she'd done.
He's dead.
She'd thought over and over again.
I've killed him.
It had felt like ages before Kassa looked up and announced that Xan was alive, just unconscious. Relief had been mixed with a rush of self-loathing and bitterness. Without another thought she'd turned and started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Kassa had called after her.

"I didn't mean to hurt him. I only broke his spell. I just ... I need a moment. I'm going for a walk." Haley's answer had been half-hearted, numb. She didn't know what to say, or what she should do. She'd only known she couldn't be there with Xan after she'd betrayed him so deeply. She wanted to blame her cursed axe, but she knew that it wasn't the troll-blade's fault. She'd acted on her own. She hadn't intended to hurt Xan, only to stop him from killing Crow, but what good were intentions with an outcome as violent as the one she'd perpetrated?

"Are you alright?" A male voice broke her train of thought and she spun on the new comer, drawing the knife at her side in one fluid motion. When she saw who it was she slipped the dagger back into its scabbard.

"Go away, Crow. I want to be alone." She tried to keep her exasperation from her voice.

Instead of retreating, Crow took a step forward. "Sometimes it's better to be alone with someone around to keep you company."

Haley scowled at the young man. "That's the dumbest thing I've heard in a long time."

Crow just shrugged. "I wanted to thank you for saving my life."

Haley held up a hand and waved it dismissively. She didn't really want to have his thanks, and she certainly didn’t feel that she deserved thanks for the injury she’d caused her friend. "Xandrith would have regretted it. I didn't want to see him upset."

"Why are you so obsessed with the assassin?" Crow asked suddenly. The words struck Haley like knives. Was her infatuation that obvious? It couldn't be. She'd gone out of her way to avoid showing her feelings for Xan.

"I'm not obsessed with Xan. He's my friend. He saved my life." Haley shook her head as she spoke, as if the physical denial would make her words more acute and less of a lie.

Crow smiled. "I'm young, but I'm not stupid Haley. I know love when I see it. The way you look at him makes it clear that you have feelings for him."

Haley leaned against a nearby tree and let out a sigh. "It doesn't matter if I do have feelings for him or not." It felt surprisingly good to be talking about these troubling emotions, even if it was with Crow. "He loves Kassa, and I'm just a little girl to him. He'll never see me as a woman."

Crow shrugged. "He's old. You can do better than him."

A frown creased Haley's features, pulling at the scar on her face. "Xandrith might be older than us, but he's a good person. He's given a lot to fight for people who have never done anything but hurt him. He is kind, and when he looks at me, he doesn't just see me as a burnt freak."

"I'm not here to fight about Xan. Obviously he and I have gotten off on the wrong foot, but I still think you could do better than him. People can look past scars. I may get ahead of myself with my tongue sometimes, but I believe in beauty that transcends the skin. A warm heart can make all the difference in the world." Crow's words were spoken with surprising grace and subtlety. It was a strange side of the young swordsman.

"That's easy to say when you don't live behind scars, Crow." Haley replied sadly.

Crow reached for the clasp at his cloak, undoing it and tossing the fabric aside. With his cloak cast away he began to undo the buttons on his shirt.

"What are you doing?" Haley asked in shock, taking a step back.

Crow didn't speak, but he finished unbuttoning his shirt and took it off. Haley was shocked by what she saw. The young man's entire torso was covered in terrible looking scars, twisted flesh that looked as though it had been repeatedly torn and mended. "I know about scars, Haley. My father hated me. He believed my mother had conceived me with another man, and he let me know it every single day of my life. He wouldn't hurt me where others might see it, but most of my body beneath my clothes looks like this. He started with beatings with leather straps, and moved on to cutting me with knives and rubbing salt into the wounds. My mother refused to help me, and I had nowhere to go." Crow pulled his shirt back over his scars and started to redo the buttons.

Silence settled between the two of them for a moment, but finally Haley found words. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Crow was putting his cloak back on. "There isn't anything to be sorry about. Do you want other people to treat you differently because of your scars?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I don't either. I'm not my scars, and you're not either."