Crown of Steel (Chaos Awakens) (28 page)

"This isn't the time for this kind of foolishness." Xan snapped at the air.

***

Haley's emotions were a burning mass of pain bubbling up through her and pouring out of her eyes in drops of burning, salty agony. She'd known. She'd always known that Xan didn't see her as a woman, but hearing those words from him had been worse than any pain she'd ever felt. She was his little sister, a sexless member of his family that he would never be romantically interested in. With his own words he'd condemned her to nothingness.

She grabbed the hilt of her axe and tore it from its scabbard. "You told me he would love me if I was stronger!" She screamed at the black metal. "I accepted your bond and you lied to me! He doesn't love me, and he never will!" She drove the head of her axe into the ground before her, burying it deep in the earth with all the strength she could muster. "You are a damned liar! I hate you!"

He does love you, even if it is not the love that you want, Haley. I can only give you the means to better yourself. I can't promise you things that are simply beyond reach. You don't need the assassin. You can have so much more.

Haley's heart fell. "I don't want more. I just want him."

"Sometimes, no matter how badly we want something, we just can't have it." The voice that came from behind her startled Haley. She swung around with her axe again in hand, and Crow was standing a few feet behind her. She turned her face away, not wanting him to see the tears flowing down her cheeks. She grabbed the mask she'd taken off to tell her story and pulled it back over her scarred face.

"I don't need another talk from you." She snapped at Merrick. "Fuck off and die."

"I can't do that. I told Kassa and Xandrith that I would come after you. It's not safe to be out here alone, at least not if Xandrith is to be trusted." Crow replied calmly.

"I don't need anyone's protection." Haley replied with venom in her voice.

"I'm not protecting you Haley. I'm here to fight by your side if necessary. That's what friends do." Crow was confident and steadfast in his response. He didn't even hesitate despite the anger Haley was casting in his direction.

The young woman couldn't think of another way to get him to leave. Why weren't words enough? "I don't want you here."

"Maybe, but you need me here." The words were spoken softly, with a note of compassion that Haley hadn't expected. "You knew how he felt. You can't let his words hurt you like this. He meant them as a comfort, you know. I don't like the man, but even I know he wasn't trying to cause you grief."

A tear seeped from Haley's eye to be absorbed by the mask. "As long as he didn't say the words, I still had a reason to hope. I … I let myself believe that there was a chance. There never was."

"Why are you so broken hearted? Don't you see what you have here?" Crow's expression was pained. "You have a family. You have someone who loves you. That's something special. I would be happy if someone felt that way about me. I won't say I understand romance, though I've spent a fair number of nights in the company of women, but the love of a family is something really special. That man, Xandrith, he doesn't look like he has much love to spare. The fact that he cares for you is something to be proud of."

Haley just shook her head sadly. "I don't know if it's enough. I don't know if I can stay with him when he just sees me like his little sister. It hurts so much."

"It's going to hurt for a time, but you'll start to feel better. You've got the axe now, and it will give you a purpose. You just need time." Crow tried to reassure Haley, but Haley couldn't help but feel that the situation was one of complete despair. Being bound to the axe didn't seem to be a good thing at all. It had promised her the power to make her dreams come true, and so far that was a complete lie. If she couldn't have Xan, then what did she really have to strive for? She felt lost.

For a long while they sat in silence. Haley's tears stopped falling, but she still hurt inside. Crow never left her side, but he didn't speak either, and for that she was glad. He was proving himself a surprisingly apt friend. She decided that she should break the sphere of quiet that had settled upon them. It was only fair, since he'd come so far out of his way to see that she was alright.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." She said quietly, and then a bit more loudly. "It was wrong of me to treat you like that."

Crow just shrugged and smiled. "Heartache can make anyone irrational. Things are going to be alright."

Haley wasn't sure if she agreed, but she nodded anyway. "I hope so."

"At the very least, they can't ..." Crow began but something caught Haley's ear and she held up a hand to gesture for silence.

"Do you hear that?" She whispered after a moment.

Merrick nodded. "Something’s coming."

***

Kassa sat down at Xan's side with just a small space between them. "Haley believes she is in love with you." The watch captain spoke plainly, and Xan flinched at her nonchalant delivery of the theory.

The assassin shook his head. "She's too young to be in love, and I'm not the sort of person people fall in love with."

Kassa chuckled. "A young lady is never too young to be in love Xan, and for Haley you're the perfect person to thrust her adoration upon. You saved her life when she was cold and alone, and offered your hand in friendship when others wouldn't have even looked her in the eyes. You shared your skills with her, and you don't see her scars first. You are the only man she has ever trusted since she was scarred, so of course she loves you."

Xandrith squirmed in his seat and looked uncomfortable. "Well, she's made a mistake. She's just a little girl. I care about her, but not like that. Kassa, I can't see her like that."

"She knows that, or at least she knows that now. This outburst was her attempt to make you see her as a woman and not just a little girl, and you responded by comparing her to your little sister." Kassa smacked Xan in the back of the head with an open palm. It wasn't hard, but it rattled the assassin's brains for a second. "That wasn't very smooth."

Xandrith frowned. "I'm not really very good with people. I'm usually killing them. What was I supposed to say to her? I can't just pretend to feel the way she does to make her happy." The assassin locked his jaw in consternation.

"No, that wouldn't have been good either. This was all going to come to a head at some point, but I wish it hadn't been in such a dangerous place. It’s probably better that she knows where you stand. I am afraid, though, that this encounter may cause us more trouble than it normally would." Kassa reply was cryptic, but Xan had a good idea what she meant.

"Haley isn't on our side anymore, and I've just pushed away the last chance I had to bring her back." Xan said the words but he could hardly believe them as he did so. "She's with Crow now, and that means she has sided with the Trolls."

Kassa nodded. "I don't think it's quite that simple, but that is similar to the conclusion I've drawn myself. I think when she saw us close together … I think it was the final push of separation she needed. I think that's what initially triggered her into accepting the blade. We don't know what that damned axe is telling her, but it's obviously working to break our group apart. I think it's succeeding. Crow, Marrick, doesn't even really need to work against us."

"I could break the bond." Xandrith spoke quietly as though someone might overhear him, though it seemed that no one was around. With Crow's talents, however, that didn't really guarantee privacy. "It's not a complicated process once it’s known."

"What does that do to the person who is suddenly severed from their connection?" Kassa's question was one that had echoed through Xan's mind for some time. He'd never had a chance to test what severing a bond with a bound weapon could do, and there was no information on that subject floating around in his head. His encyclopedic knowledge of spells told him that it would be dangerous and there was a likelihood that those forcefully severed might die.

"It's dangerous." Xan replied hesitantly. "I don't know everything, but it could kill or drive the severed person mad. It all depends on how deeply the weapon is bound into their body and mind."

"And you could do that to Haley?" Kassa seemed surprised.

Xan closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, but I could try it on Crow."

"Xan!" Kassa snapped. "He's just a boy. He doesn't deserve to suffer because of his cursed weapon anymore than Haley does." When Xandrith met the captain's eyes he could see her shock and anger reflected back at him. He had to look away lest he get lost in that reproachful look.

"I'm sorry." The words weren't easy to speak. He wasn't sure if he really was regretful. The boy Crow agitated him. The logical part of his mind knew his dislike was irrational, but the instinctual and aggressive part of him wouldn't be quieted. That part of him wanted Crow removed from the world.

"You're not alright, are you?" Kassa asked, and Xan could tell by the tone of her voice that she was really worried. "That thing with Crow earlier, that wasn't just a case of you losing your temper."

Xan kept his eyes closed. He was afraid to look at Kassa again. "These changes to my skin, the black streaks, they're not only skin deep. I'm changing inside too. It's becoming increasingly difficult to feel remorse or regret. Anger and rage excite me. I want to feel that tide of uncontrollable fire rushing through my body. It feels wonderful Kassa, like I'm unstoppable. I know that it's wrong. I know the violent urges are brought on by the rising of my troll nature, but sometimes it's difficult to find the line between what I was and what I'm becoming. The only thing that keeps me moving forward is knowing that I only have to go a little further. My goal is just inside these walls." Xandrith wrapped on the metal wall with his knuckles.

"You're not going to lose yourself, Xandrith." Kassa's voice was surprisingly intense. "You need to think beyond these walls and beyond this place. Once we're done here you need to help us all get away, and have you thought about what is beyond all of this for us?"

Xandrith opened his eyes and looked back at his companion. "For us?" He echoed the words like a trained bird, uncomprehending of what they meant.

"For you and me, Xan. You have to know how I feel about you by now. I care about you, and I don't want you to talk like this is the end of the line. It's not. We're going to free this pig-fucker from his box, and then we're going to go have a life together. I don't care if Haley comes with us, but you and me, Xan. We're going to go someplace and build a home together. Then we're going to forget any of this mess ever happened. You're never going to draw on your magic again or pick up a knife that you're not using to cut your food, and I'm going to stop dreaming about the eternal blackness of death. Maybe we'll have a couple children. I know we're not young, but there is time."

Xandrith found himself smiling and, for a change, it was an honest expression. "I've never thought that far ahead, but that sounds kind of nice. Do you really want to spend that much time with me, though? I'm not a very nice person."

"I could do worse than the guy who fought to save the entire world." Kassa smiled and leaned against Xan's shoulder.

Xandrith shook his head. "When you say it like that, you make it sound like I'm some kind of hero. I'm not. There are a lot of great people out there who would have tried to do the same if in my position. No one wants to see their world die. I'm just the unlucky idiot who drew the short straw."

Kassa laughed quietly. "Do you really believe that?"

Xan quirked an eyebrow at Kassa. "Of course I do."

"You're the most naive killer I've ever known, Xan. It's actually kind of sweet." She reached up and turned his face so that they were only inches apart. It took only a slight forward motion to bring their lips together. She was warmer than Xan had imagined, softer than he could have guessed. The kiss was a gesture so very gentle and sincere that it seemed like a fragment of a dream cast into the torrid riptide of a fearsome nightmare. The moment passed quickly, and Xan found himself clinging to it like a drowning man will cling to anything that floats.

"That was very nice." Xan said quietly. They were words that were far too weak to encapsulate what the simple gesture meant to Xandrith as a human being. In that moment he had felt more human than he had since he'd shredded his own being to restore Kassa to life.

"Kassa, I want you to know ..." Whatever words may have come next, Xandrith never got to speak them.

"Do you hear that?!" Kassa asked as she came to her feet, her hands going to her hips to grab knives that she didn't actually wear. For Xan it was like watching a shadow of himself. It was strangely unsettling. The same sound that had alerted Kassa finally reached Xan's ears, and with a sudden rush the reality of the world snapped back into focus for the assassin. The memory of that gentle kiss was dashed against the rocks of impending doom.

The sound of people running through the woods in their direction brought Xandrith to his feet. He had nowhere to reach for magic yet. He wasn't going to drain Kassa, and he couldn't be certain who was running towards them. He reached out with his magical senses and he quickly found the creatures that had been stalking him and his companions for days. They were rushing towards the wall in about the same direction the crashing through the woods was sounding. Worse though, Xandrith could feel other pulses in the woods, low magic-emitting traces all converging towards the clearing. All of these realizations struck within a second and before either of them could actually see the figures running in the woods.

Little Crow emerged from the trees first, dragging Haley behind him. He flung her towards Kassa and Xan as he broke the tree line. "They're coming!" He shouted, drawing his blade and spinning to face those in pursuit.

His words had barely cleared his lips when the first attacker tore through the tree line. It wore a tattered black cloak, but that couldn't hide the fact that the thing wearing the cloak was only barely humanoid. It ran on four metallic legs that sprung from a poorly reconstructed human torso. Bone and once living organs were haphazardly held in place by steel struts connecting the living pieces to the metal. It moved with more fluidity than the similar creatures Xandrith had encountered before. The Drayid were improving their designs, or at least their mastery over the stolen bodies. Either way it wasn't going to make the situation any easier to cope with. The assassin cursed himself for letting his attention stray. He shouldn't have been caught off guard. He should have been ready when they attacked.