Crusader (Battle Born Book 1) (18 page)

Her calm indifference, however superficial, annoyed the hells out of him. “Give me the exact location of the
Crusader
and I’ll consider this incident resolved. Letos will not be harmed and neither will you.”

“My power doesn’t work that way.”

“Your power?” he scoffed. “Any evidence that you have power comes and goes at your whim.” He slowly circled her neck with the end of the whip, the movement as much of a caress as a threat. “You have exactly as much control over your power as you choose to exert. I suggest you start exerting.”

“A harbinger must reach a state of serenity for the visions to unfold.” She swallowed and her lips began to tremble, the first outward sign she’d revealed of her inner turmoil. “My existence has been anything but serene since I was entrusted to your tender care.”

Her bitter words pleased him despite her refusal to cower. “You have twelve hours to achieve serenity or I’ll give Erkott the code to your room.”

Needing something to distract him from the desire pounding through his system, Bandar gathered the dishes onto the tray and returned everything to the nutria-gen.

“What happens to all that?” Ashley motioned toward the dishes and food debris. She paused to push in their chairs and pick up his duffle bag before meandering toward him.

“It’s broken down, sorted into molecular compounds and recycled.” Her curiosity was understandable, but the last thing he wanted to talk about was technology. “The systems were originally developed for long-range spaceships. Without recycling capabilities it’s almost impossible to maintain adequate supplies in space.”

She accepted the explanation with a soft smile that sent his heart racing. Everything she did seemed to affect him the same way. She smiled and he wanted to kiss her. She frowned and he wanted to kiss her. Even her anger aroused him like nothing he’d ever experienced before. He was battle born, for gods’ sake. He was used to going months, sometimes years, without having access to a female. Why did this human unravel his composure so completely? He was pretty sure he knew the answer, but thinking about the possibilities only made him want her more.

“What did you mean about getting to know you?” Her voice was soft, her expression cautious yet openly curious. She handed him the duffle bag and he draped it over his shoulder. “It didn’t sound like you were talking about a long, in-depth conversation.” She walked at his side as they left the break room. The two guards, who had taken up positions in the hallway, fell in behind them as Bandar led her down the corridor.

She wasn’t close enough for him to feel her body heat, so why was his skin tingling? “The nanites I gave you can create a transfer link. If I allow you access to my memory, you’d know more about me in a matter of minutes than a human male could tell you in a lifetime.”

“Why would you want anyone to know you that well?”

He reached over and took her hand. “You shared some really painful things with me. I want to reward your openness.”

Her fingers tensed and he thought she’d pull away, then her hand relaxed and a soft sigh escaped her. “I won’t pretend I’m not curious, but I’m not sure I see the point. I’ve told you everything I know. Why are you still trying to seduce me?”

One of the guards attempted to disguise his snicker as a cough and failed, so Bandar backed them off with a telepathic command.

“I told you why.” He waited until the guards were well back before he spoke again. “This isn’t about your father’s work. I’m genuinely interested in you.”

She looked up at him, challenge arching her brow. “You want to have sex with me.”

“Absolutely, but I want so much more.”

She didn’t reply and awareness arced between them, tense and electric. They easily located the rooms Irron had mentioned and selected an apartment somewhat secluded from the others. Bandar told the guards to take up positions at the end of the hall, then escorted Ashley into the borrowed room.

There were no signs of the battle in this room. In fact it didn’t appear to have been occupied at all. The bed was neatly made, everything clean and orderly, if rather impersonal. Though all one open space, the apartment was organized into three separate areas, bedroom, living room, and workstation with a built-in desk and shelving unit. He lowered the duffle bag to a chair near the bed then turned to face her.

“Why do they call this place the Farm,” she asked as she completed her assessment of their surroundings. “Or is it something I’d rather not know?”

“This complex is powered by large turbines that harness the wind. A grouping of these turbines is known as a wind farm, and we are situated beneath them, so the complex also took that name.”

“Then we are underground. I thought we might be.” She tucked her hair behind her ears, her hands trembling. “Is the Bunker underground as well?”

“Most of it.”

“Are we still in New Mexico?”

He shook his head, not sure how to draw her away from the meaningless small talk and back into his arms. “I believe we’re in a state called Nevada. The nearest city is Las Vegas.”

She started to say something then sighed. Instead, she met his gaze, determination clear in her wide green eyes. “How does this memory thing work?”

It was all he could do not to pull her into his arms and kiss her until they were both breathless and wild. Every instinct he possessed was telling him to advance, to conquer and possess, yet he knew she wasn’t ready for sexual aggression. She wasn’t used to Rodyte ways, didn’t feel things as intensely as he did. If he ever hoped to win her, a slow, steady approach was the only way.

“This sort of exchange usually happens after a mating bond has been established, but my nanites will allow us to rearrange things a bit.”

She dragged her gaze away from his and her tongue swept across her lower lip before she spoke again. “If a couple waits until after the bond is formed, isn’t it too late to do anything about it even if they find out something horrible?”

Her uncertainty was driving him crazy. He didn’t want her to feel nervous and unsure. He wanted her snuggled against his chest, content and secure. “The need to bond is often so strong, they can’t think of anything else. It’s only after they’ve indulged their physical desires that they’re calm enough for the memory exchange.”

“Are you…” She looked into his eyes as desire sparked within her curiosity. He could see it in her expressive gaze and smell the unmistakable scent of her body’s awakening. “Do you really want me that badly?”

“Gods, yes.” He grasped her upper arms and pulled her closer before he could stop the impulse. She gasped and he set his back teeth, forcing himself to release her. “But I’ll wait. I’ll give you all the time you need.” She nodded, but didn’t speak, so he motioned toward the sitting area. “Slip off your shoes. I still owe you a foot message.”

She sat in one of the upholstered chairs and he pulled the other around so he could face her. “You don’t really have to rub my feet.”

“I want to.” It would help her relax and, hopefully, the physical contact would be enough to keep him from pouncing on her. He watched her silently as she slipped off her shoes and pulled off her socks. Her movements were still somewhat reluctant, so he tried a little humor. “You can keep going if you like. I’ll happy rub anything you’re willing to bare.”

Her lips twitched then parted in a sweetly innocent smile. He knew she wasn’t yet thirty, but she looked even younger right then. “A foot rub is all I agreed to.”

“Well, the offer is always open, if you change your mind.” He reached down and lifted her feet onto his lap. “Can I ask a personal question?”

One of her brows arched as she settled against the back of her chair and let her legs relax. “I’m not obligated to answer, but you’re welcome to ask.”

“Are you still a virgin?”

Her laugh sounded forced and she looked away as she said, “You think I’m a virgin because I won’t sleep with you? Yeah, that’s not arrogant at all.” He rubbed her instep firmly with his thumb, encouraging her body to release its tension. She moaned and closed her eyes. “Wow. That feels amazing.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“No. I’m not a virgin.” She didn’t open her eyes so he kept rubbing. “I’m not afraid of sex, if that’s what you’re inferring. I just like for it to mean more than scratching an itch.”

The description made him smile and he let the subject drop for the time being. She wouldn’t consider a physical relationship until they knew each other better, so his top priority was providing her with what she needed to feel more comfortable.

With Rodytes there was far less uncertainty. Instinct guided them to a mate who not only appealed to them physically, but would complement their personality and increased their chances of producing healthy offspring. Even if he explained this to her, she wouldn’t believe it was possible. She wasn’t Rodyte.

“There are a couple of ways we can do this,” he told her. “I can pass you the memories one at a time, or I can guide you into my mind so you can wander at will. The exchange will be more controlled if I pass them to you.”

“Let’s start slow, let me see how it feels.”

Lust surged as his sex-starved brain provided alternate meanings for her innocent suggestion. He was more than willing to start slowly, to awaken her sense gradually until she was begging to “see how it feels”. Heat cascaded through his body and he squeezed her foot so hard she flinched. “Sorry. Let me get the link established and then I’ll resume your massage.”

“All right.”

She started to open her eyes, but he stopped her. “Keep them closed. Your brain isn’t used to processing this sort of input. It might be disorienting until you get used to it.” She nodded again, so he commanded the nanites to expand the link. Her lips parted and she inhaled sharply. “It shouldn’t hurt. Are you in pain?”

“No. It just feels really strange.” She fidgeted in her chair, her body gently undulating. He snapped his gaze back to her face and kept it there. She was just too damn tempting. “I could sense you before, but you were like an echo or an image from a dream. You’re so much more real now. I can almost feel your heartbeat.”

He wanted to feel her heartbeat beneath his palm or her lips pressed against his chest as he sank deep into her soft body. “That just means the link is working. Let’s try a static image.” It took a minute to find an image that wasn’t sexual. He had to control this hunger if he ever hoped to earn her trust. And that was the reason for this exercise. He wanted her to trust him, to feel comfortable and secure when they were together. Purging his mind with a deep breath, he carefully passed her an image. “What do you see?”

“An adorable little boy.” A dreamy smile bowed her lips. “Is that you?”

“It is.” He stood in front of a massive pertton tree holding a wooden sword. “I must have been five. It was shortly before I left for basic training.”

Her eyes flew open and her head came up off the back of the chair. “Your military training began when you were five?”

He shook his head, warmed by her concern. “I was educated at a military facility. My military training didn’t begin until I was fifteen.”

“Fifteen is still awfully young.”

“Adolescent males require structure and discipline. It develops character.”

She returned to the more relaxed pose, but her eyes reflected her doubt. “Sounds like a conditioned response. Do you honestly believe that?”

“I do. Left to their own devices, adolescent males are basically destructive.”

“I’ve known some adolescent females who left their male counterparts in the dust.”

His eyebrows arched. “Were you one of them?”

She shook her head as her eyelids drifted shut. “My life was so regulated I didn’t have the opportunity to misbehave. But this is about you. Show me more.”

He passed her several images in quick succession. His eight-year-old self chased his brothers through the woods outside their father’s estate; they sat at their father’s feet as he told them a story, and then he and Zilor stood before their father dressed in identical uniforms. “My childhood was rather boring,” he concluded.

“I know your older brother is Garin. What’s your younger brother’s name?”

“Zilor.”

“He was a beautiful boy.”

He chuckled, well used to females reacting to Zilor. “He’s still too pretty to be male.”

“Really? Let me see a current image of him.”

Trying not to be jealous, he showed her Zilor as he’d been last time Bandar saw him. Dressed in the black-and-gold uniform of the Rodyte Planetary Defense Force.

“Wow. You weren’t kidding. He could make a fortune off that face on Earth.” She shifted in her seat and opened her eyes. “Is it a family tradition to join the military? I didn’t realize all three of you had chosen that profession.”

Chosen? He tensed as he realized just how alien the concept was to him. “Garin had options and was allowed to choose. Zilor and I accepted the fate our father decreed for his battle born sons. We knew from an early age that we’d serve the RPDF.”

“RPDF?”

“Rodyte Planetary Defense Force.”

“What would you have done if you had the choice?”

It took him a minute to admit the truth. “I don’t know. I knew I had no other choice, so I saw no reason to think about it.”

Her gaze narrowed and compassion warmed her eyes. “I don’t believe you, but we’ll let it go for now. Show me what your life has been like since you ‘accepted your fate’.”

There was just enough sarcasm in her tone to stress her disbelief. She was right, of course. So much of a soldier’s life was waiting around between battles. It was almost inevitable that he would dream of a life full of choices and freedoms he had never known.

Rather than dwell on his discontent, he selected a variety of images, carefully avoiding those situations that revealed too much. He sent them across their link in a gradual stream.

She accepted each one, watching and experiencing the events without judgment or resistance. Then suddenly, he felt her pull away.

“You’re holding back.” She eased her feet off his lap and lowered them to the floor. “I’m sure practice fights and camaraderie are a big part of your life, but where are the conflicts, the challenges? Have you ever lost your temper or disobeyed an order? What about women? Are
you
still a virgin?”