Crystal Crowned [ARC] (21 page)

“You will help withdraw the magic so her Channel can be restored.”

“I’ve never—”

“I am not asking you, Fritznangle, I am telling you as your Emperor.”

Vhalla rubbed her abdomen. She needed to get up and call off her protective love before he made an ass of himself to their friends.

“But not yet,” Elecia said firmly. “I see what you are doing.”

“Elecia—” Aldrik warned.

“No. You are trying to fix it all and force it back to where it is comfortable for you. But you cannot force her. Her body is healing. This isn’t a battle scar, and it’s not going to be fixed when we don’t see blood anymore. You are healing, too.”

“Aldrik,” Vhalla called.

“Vhalla, what is it?” The doors were thrown open, and he rushed to her side. “What hurts?”

“I woke, and you weren’t here.” She tried to force a small smile.

“I was only taking care of a few things, my love. I’m here. I’m with you.”

“Stay,” Vhalla demanded.

Aldrik’s hair was a mess, and his eyes looked sunken. Somehow, his face had become gaunter in one night. Elecia’s advice to Aldrik hit Vhalla’s heart. They were both hurting, and that hurt would only be soothed by being together and letting themselves be sad.

Elecia came in as Aldrik situated himself next to her. She had clearly spent some of the night acquiring and preparing a new flight of potions for Vhalla to ingest. As the healer was leaving, Aldrik requested that she find a book for them to read.

Vhalla wondered if he had known what she needed to feel better. Or if, somehow in his own turmoil, he needed the same things as she. They spent the day tucked together, ignoring the world.

Aldrik didn’t even part from her when it came time to bathe again. He sent Elecia away, announcing that he would do it himself. Vhalla tried to avoid either of them helping her, but her attempts were futile.

“I can do it myself,” she insisted. “I don’t need you.”

“You’re right, you don’t
need
me. But I
want
to help you.” He guided her to the steaming bathwater.

“Aldrik, you don’t want to do this, it’s. . . very messy.” She had more eloquent words to describe the situation, but she didn’t use them. Clarity and eloquence bred heartbreak for her as they laid out neatly the situation she was in.

“Blood does not scare me.” Aldrik begun undressing her.

Vhalla grabbed his wrist. Tears of frustration and anger welled up in the corners of her eyes. Every word was trapped in her throat with no hope of freedom.

“If you want me to go,” he whispered. “Tell me plainly. Tell me to leave your side, and I will.”

She shook her head. She didn’t want him gone. She needed his presence and his love just as he seemed to need hers. The emotion persisted even when his hands washed away the blood that slicked her thighs.

The distance in his eyes eased as the days passed. The only time pain showed was when he focused on the sight of her barren neck. But Aldrik didn’t speak of it, and Vhalla didn’t force the issue. She could apologize and make excuses until the world ended. But it wouldn’t change anything.

The only thing that mildly helped was the day that Elecia deemed her healed enough to attempt recovering her magic from the vessel. It reminded them both that, despite what Vhalla had given up, hopefully something was gained.

“All right, Vhal,” Fritz began. “There isn’t much here. It should—
should
—be enough to have a Vessel to start calling to magic through your Channel. But you’ll need to withdraw every last bit of magic, to be certain.”

“Might it not work?” Vhalla asked nervously.

“If there’s not enough to unblock your Channel, the magic will just fizzle the first time you try to use it.”

“How do I withdraw it?” She didn’t allow herself to be scared. There wasn’t any other option but success.

“I’ll help you,” Fritz encouraged. “You hold it and imagine the watch is your Channel. Feel it, know it, and welcome it into you.” He curled her fingers around the watch and grasped her hand. “I’ll help push the magic out, help it move towards you.”

Vhalla nodded, nerves stilling her tongue.

“Are you ready?” He continued at her small nod, “Here it goes . . .”

He closed his eyes, and Vhalla did the same. Just like the very first time she had ever tried to use her magic, Vhalla imagined something just beyond herself, and tried to touch it. The world didn’t rebuild magic on a whim, nor did she feel a whisper of sorcery on the wind. There was only a subtle tingling in her fingertips.

Vhalla guarded her every hope. She felt as though she was on the edge and only needed one more good push to hold everything in her grasp. Her breathing echoed in her ears as she mentally reached for the truth the watch held.

She was the Windwalker. She would fill up the hollow that had been carved from her, fill it up with a new future.

“Vhalla, enough.” Fritz released her fist. “Don’t push too hard now.”

“But you said get it all.” Her eyes fluttered open.

“I think you did.” He inspected the watch. “You don’t want to expend magic, looking for magic.”

“So did it work?” Vhalla stared at her hands.

“We’ll know soon.” Fritz blinked his eyes a few times, shifting his vision to study her. “Your Channel will need more time to restore, if it’s going to. By the Mother, Vhal, if you think you even feel the hint of magic, do not be too eager to use it, or you’ll drain it all and be back in the same position as before.”

For the rest of the day, Vhalla remained on bedrest. She was getting bored of it, especially now that the bleeding had slowed to occasional spotting. But between Aldrik, Elecia, Fritz, and Jax, she had no option but to take it easy.

“How do you feel?” Aldrik asked as they settled for sleep.

“Tired.” Despite resting all day, it was true.

“I’ve always loved watching you sleep. Seeing you at peace.” He brushed hair lovingly away from her face. “I plan to do it forever.”

“Even now?” she whispered, wanting to hear the words between his words.

“Even now,” he affirmed.

There was pain still, but it was beginning to fade even for Aldrik. No matter how much they lost, they still had each other. And, so long as that was true, they could continue to meet the dawn.

Dawn, however, came too early for either of their tastes. Vhalla rolled over tiredly, a light sneaking through a crack in the curtains to hit her face. She felt so exhausted. Aldrik’s arms tightened around her, and he nuzzled the back of her neck.

“It’s bright,” Vhalla complained. “Make it go away.” She motioned to the curtains. The room darkened, and they both woke with a start.

Vhalla stared at the now drawn window dressings, as they swayed in the remnants of an unseen breeze.

Vhalla stared at her fingertips in dumb shock, her eyes darting between the unassuming digits and the settling curtain. Raising her hand, she took a shaky breath, determined to re-witness the truth that had just revealed itself to her.

Long, warm fingers curled gently around her wrist. “Don’t.” Aldrik shook his head at her. “Don’t push yourself.”

“But what if . . .” Vhalla stared at the window.

“The curtain closed by a draft?” His smile was small, but there was genuine joy in his eyes. Cupping her face in both palms, Aldrik graced her lips with a brief kiss. It felt like the first kiss in forever, and a butterfly emerged from its cocoon in her stomach. “Do not be silly, my sorcerer.”

“Am I?”

Aldrik held out his hand, palm up, and a tiny flame appeared in its center. “Blow it out. But only this small test, and then more rest.”

Slowly, hesitantly, Vhalla rose her hand. Aldrik shifted closer, the orange glow of the tiny mote illuminating his bare chest. Her fingers tensed, straightening and relaxing in an instant. The fire was snuffed, the light extinguished to nothing more than the ghost of a blue glow when Vhalla blinked.

“My magic,” she breathed.

The covers flew through the air as Vhalla tossed them aside. Swinging her feet off the side of the bed, she was stopped, mid-lunge, by an arm snatching her around the waist. Aldrik pulled her back to him, racing heart and all.

“I want to see.”

“You just saw.” He held her to him.

“No, no, it’s not enough.”

Aldrik nuzzled her neck, the tenderness stilling her. “You still must rest. You have been through a lot.”

“I know.” Ice surged through her veins at the memories. “I gave up everything for this, so let me go.”

“You did not.” Aldrik’s hair tickled her shoulder as he shook his head. “You gave up a child that you should have never even carried. And one of my many pathetic attempts at silver working.”

Her insides clenched, but not like it had over the past few days. She had witnessed a memory in which he’d presented a gift to the woman who should’ve loved him as her own child, and it was rejected. Vhalla twisted, seeing beyond him back to that young, nervous child.

“It was not pathetic.” She spoke firmly enough that it commanded his attention. “It was the best gift anyone had ever given me, and I would have loved it had it been misshapen and half-finished—because you were the one to give it to me. That’s what was truly important, that’s why I could give it up. Because our love is more than something I can wear. Our time is far greater than what can be counted by two hands and some numbers. Because, even without it, I still have you.”

The edge of a question slipped into her last statement, and Aldrik sighed, an exhausted smile curling his lips.

“You shall always have me.” He pulled her back onto the bed with him holding her as close as possible. “Our love is more than physical trappings. Be it tokens of affections or the bodies our eternal souls inhabit while we are chained to this mortal coil. I would have made a hundred watches if it would have returned your magic to you.”

There was pain in his words, even still. But there was also truth. He shared in the joy of her magic returning. Vhalla sighed softly and pressed closer against him. If she was going to continue to be restricted to bed, then she would make the most of it by filling her hours with him.

When Elecia and Fritz finally deemed Vhalla strong enough, physically and magically, to leave the bedroom, she paid the price of vanishing from the world for a short week. Letters had piled up from both Norin and Hastan. A new timeline also needed to be addressed for the rest of their journey to Norin.

Their break in the crystal gate at the border of East and West had held long enough for Western reinforcements to get through and march to Hastan. Elecia’s father reported that they couldn’t have come a moment too soon, as Hastan had sustained another attack by Victor shortly thereafter. This time, Victor had sent a larger force on foot, marching from the South and laying waste to cities and towns along the way, Leoul included.

That was when Vhalla realized that she was never going home. She had to continue to believe that her father had, indeed, moved ahead of the gate’s construction and she would meet him in Norin. In truth, home had always been where the people she loved were. For years, that had been the farm in Leoul. But now it was where her father, Aldrik, and friends were.

The news cast a somber cloud over her for a different reason as well. Leoul was farther north than Paca, which meant Daniel’s town had been right in the line of Victor’s marching forces. His fragile state lingered in the back of her mind; the sight of Victor’s sorcerers would have caused agony in the man who cast a shadow across her heart. Vhalla wondered if her friend had escaped safely, or if he had met the fate of nearly a third of the East.

If Vhalla had lacked any purpose before hearing this news, she certainly didn’t after. Rather than hardening, her heart became hotter. It burned and pushed hot blood through her veins faster than sandstorm winds. Vhalla racked her brain, considering all the information that had come through the reports sent from Hastan. She stayed up until her eyes crossed and blurred, trying to find the best way to distribute the East’s limited fighting forces.

The largest sites of food production had to be protected first, alongside Hastan as the head of the East. But there was no choice when it came to sacrificing some smaller towns as a result. It was among the hardest decisions Vhalla had ever made, and she allowed herself to feel pain at it. If she became numb, it would be a disservice to the people whose lives she was deciding.

To save the most lives, more messengers and more reminders were sent to those interested in joining the fight, reminders that they could retreat to Hastan. Vhalla made her will known through letters, sharing with the men and women of the East exactly how and why she was moving them. That it was, indeed, a choice made by the person claiming to be their leader. Vhalla knew she could never accept their loyalty if such facts were ever hidden.

Aldrik fussed over her incessantly. He worried constantly. Vhalla tolerated it, the guilt of Vi’s trade making her oblige Aldrik as recompense for her transgressions against him. But Elecia finally snapped.

The woman began dictating how Aldrik could—and could not—take care of his wife-to-be. She was having none of his doubts over her methods of healing. He finally relented and began running the Empire at Vhalla’s side in earnest.

Jax remained ever present as well, especially when Aldrik disappeared to grant some face time with a prominent lord or lady who ventured to the Crossroads to meet them. Jax’s revelations about his past lingered with Vhalla, but she didn’t give it much thought. There were far bigger concerns facing her than the crimes Jax had committed years ago. She’d sort through it eventually.

Only once had Aldrik pressed for Vhalla to show him where Vi’s curiosity shop had been located. They circled the market several times, but Vhalla couldn’t find the small curtained entrance or anything even remotely resembling it. Her Emperor did his best to hide his frustration, but Vhalla was unbothered. She hadn’t expected to ever encounter Vi again. The woman would only reveal herself on her own terms, not Vhalla’s. And as badly as Vhalla wanted to understand Vi’s actions, she’d felt Vi’s unnatural darkness and the weight of the woman’s eyes seeing more than Vhalla’s physical form too many times to question too deeply.
Some things may not be meant to be understood.