Crystal Crowned [ARC] (26 page)

“Oh, I’m sure if I left the castle that Aldrik or—” Vhalla stopped herself for a second, quickly collecting her thoughts. “Have you seen Jax yet?”

“No, I was going to head to him after our audience. I was quite elated to see him well and riding at your side.”

Vhalla studied the brotherly smile on Erion’s cheeks. This man had been Baldair’s right hand, and they’d both held Jax in high esteem. Two men, who Vhalla had nothing but respect for, deemed Jax acceptable. Combined with Elecia and Aldrik’s general acceptance . . .

“How can you call yourself his friend?” Vhalla blurted.

“Pardon?” Confusion stilled him.

“You defended him in his trial, even after what he did.” She wanted so badly to understand what everyone else seemed to know. Vhalla was giving Jax the benefit of the doubt based on those around her, but she was tired of being expected to have blind faith.

“He told you, then?”

“He did.” She frowned. “I have barely been able to look him in the eye for weeks. I don’t understand.”

“
What
did he tell you?” Erion asked slowly.

“The truth of how he came to be in Baldair’s service.”

“
The
truth? Or
Jax’s
truth?”

His words stopped her heart. Vhalla hadn’t even thought to question that the man would be lying to her. It had been so horrible.
Who lied to make something worse than what it was?

“A murder in cold blood for a lover’s revenge?”

“Something like that,” she admitted, wondering the source of the shift in Erion’s eyes.

“Even after all this time,” Erion muttered then cursed under his breath.

“No. What?” she demanded, refusing to let Erion pull away.

“It’s not my place.”

“He said you spoke for him in court.” Vhalla thought quickly, not wanting to let the conversation die. “You can tell me why. That
is
your place to say.”

Erion considered her for a long, hard moment. “He told you I spoke for him?”

“He did.”

“And you still believed him?”

“Well . . .”

“I’m hurt, Vhalla.” Erion’s expression echoed the truth of his words. “You think I am the type to rise to defend a man who slays innocent women in their beds?” She had no real answer. “Do you think Baldair would permit a man with a history of violence toward the innocent into his guard?”

That was exactly what she’d been struggling to reconcile. “So, he lied about it? Why would he lie?”

“You know his full name. I’m certain, as Empress, you have access to those records.” Erion stepped away. “If you want to know so badly, go and find out.”

“Should I walk you back?” She glanced at the hall from where they’d come.

“I know the way.”

“Erion, I’m glad you’re all right.” Vhalla gave him one more quick embrace. This time the Westerner was ready, and his arms tentatively wrapped around her shoulders.

“I am glad you are as well, and that one of my brothers still defends you as Baldair would have wanted.” There was a waver in Erion’s voice when he said the late prince’s name. “Fight for us all, Vhalla.”

“Always,” she vowed.

He let her go, and Vhalla was off. She tore a path through the castle unapologetically, a woman on a mission. The library wasn’t prepared for her whirlwind as Vhalla scanned the shelves with purpose. The old records were kept on the highest floor, and Vhalla searched for manuscripts and scrolls similar to what was kept in Hastan.

If the truth was on the shelf, she would find it. Manuscripts littered the floor around her, and the scrolls were mostly unrolled. It was in the fifth book that she had finally found what she suspected was the right year. On the first page, Jax’s name stared back at her in the list of trials and decrees the book contained.

Vhalla flipped eagerly, opening to the page.

A frayed edge of parchment stared back at her. The pages, five or six by the looks of it, had all been ripped from the book. Only the first page, introducing the crimes, and the last page dictating the sentence, remained. Vhalla snapped the book shut and took a deep breath.
Were some truths better not to find?

She stood, resolute. She’d long since banned lies in her world. It was time to make sure Jax Wendyl understood that fact.

The day was hot. It already felt like the late days of summer in the South, but spring was barely upon them. Vhalla’s cheeks were flushed by frustration as much as from the weather.

The guards and soldiers parted before her as she stormed through the grounds. The bottoms of her split skirt brushed upon the hard-packed, sandy dirt, wind flying under her toes. Vhalla clenched and unclenched her fingers.

“Major Jax,” she called the moment she spotted his high bun among a group of soldiers performing drills.

Jax paused. Aldrik had trained her well because Vhalla didn’t miss the flash of panic in his eyes. Her expression had instilled the appropriate amount of concern in him.
Maybe this time it’d be enough for him to tell her the truth.

“Why, Lady Yarl, been some time. And here I thought you’d forgotten about little ol’ me,” he chuckled.

“Not quite.” She folded her hands at the small of her back. “I require you.”

“That’s what they all say.” Jax gave a lecherous wink to a nearby soldier, who laughed uncomfortably.

“In there.” Vhalla pointed to a castle entry, a gust of wind unlatching and opening a door.

Jax followed her orders, and she followed him into the privacy of the small storeroom. Her hands were nearly shaking as she eased the door shut, trying not to slam it.

“As much as I appreciate your Western-clad beauty, I feel obligated to tell you that the men will talk.” Jax leaned against a table, adjusting his high bun.

“Why are the records missing?”

Jax froze. His hands slowly fell from his hair. Vhalla watched as the madman began to take over.

“What records are you asking about?”

“Don’t play coy, and don’t lie to me. Your records,” she snapped.

“I never lied to you.”

“How dare you.” The hurt was real. It was just as bad, perhaps even worse, as Jax’s original tale. “You told me I could trust you with my life, and you didn’t trust me with your truth.”

“I did not lie.” The man gripped the table, digging his nails into the wood. “Don’t chase this.”

“You did. I know you did,” she insisted.

“You drew your own conclusions, and I didn’t correct them.” Jax slapped the table and stood upright. “Now leave this be.”

“No.” Vhalla moved in front of the door. “If you are my friend, you will tell me.”

“Who said I wanted to be your friend?” Jax snapped back. “Let me leave, Lady Yarl. And don’t go chasing ghosts again.”

“I will not!” She had such precious few people in the world. The idea of losing Jax to old crimes immolated her senses. Their friendship would only be salvaged if he could trust her.

“Why don’t you just ask Aldrik?” Jax was suddenly unable to look at her.

“I want to hear it from you.” Vhalla lifted her hands, trying to calm them both. “I need to hear it from you.”

“You already heard what I had to say. I owe you nothing more.”

“You didn’t kill her, did you?” Vhalla rested her hands gently on his upper arms.

He flinched at the touch. “I did,” Jax insisted, but his resolve had fractured just enough that he continued. “But I never meant to.”

“What happened?” Vhalla prodded gently.

“Nothing that should have.”

“Was it an accident?” She tried to tilt her head to meet his eyes.

“Partly.”

“Tell me please,” Vhalla whispered. “I want to help you.”

His shoulders began to tremble. Vhalla thought he was crying, but mad laughter echoed hauntingly into her ears. Jax wrenched himself away, throwing out his arms. “Oh, oh you siren. You wretched wench. I see now, I see now how you ensnared Aldrik.” Jax pointed his finger in her face, and Vhalla was too startled to react. “You think you can save everyone. You think you’re a damned Goddess, glowing high above the masses who cower at your feet. You think you can fix the broken and heal the wounded because you
want to
.”

Fire sparked around his finger, close enough that Vhalla’s nose was nearly burned.

“You want to know something? You-you misbegotten noble, you are as bad as every other who has stepped before you. You are pathetic, useless, inept. You can barely defend yourself, and you think you can defend those you love.”

Vhalla leaned against the door. She endured his insults, his raving. She held her head high and waited out the madness.

“I can help you.” Vhalla had never believed anything more than those four words in that moment.

“You can’t help! I couldn’t help!” Spit flew from his mouth, landing on her cheek. He raged on, “She could not help herself as she ran into the flames to save her father. To save that worthless sack of putrid flesh that didn’t deserve to die a clean death of fire.”

“Her father?”

“Yes, her
father
, you simpleton!” Jax lunged for her, and Vhalla’s head cracked against the door hard as he shook her by the collar. “What would you have done? Tell me.
Tell me!
They knew, they all knew, and they didn’t stop him!” he howled. “A father is meant to protect his young, to love them. But not like that. Never like
that
.”

She blinked away the stars from where Jax had knocked her head. He was right, he hadn’t lied to her. He’d said he’d discovered a man with his bride-to-be, a man who had taken her multiple times. But it hadn’t been just any man. Vhalla felt sick.

“You were trying to save her.”

Jax growled and threw her to the side. He leaned against the door, his head hanging between his arms. His back heaved with his rasping breaths. “Go . . . go and never speak about this ever again.”

“Jax, it wasn’t—”

“Go!” Fire flared over his shoulders as he spun, its heat making her blink water from her eyes. “If you ever speak of this to me again, I do not care who you are, Vhalla Yarl, I do not care what clothes you wear, or what title you bear.
I will kill you
.”

The man had been pushed far enough. Vhalla took a deep breath and waited for the fire to disappear. It left a dark burnt spot on the ceiling.

“I’m sorry for hurting you and making you recall this.” She rested a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eye when she said it. The contact stilled him and panicked him once more. But it was a different kind of panic, something more akin to a lost child than a lunatic.

“I said go,” Jax demanded.

Vhalla obliged him and stepped back into the sunlight of the dusty training ground.

She ignored every look from the soldiers, unashamed of her activities with Jax. There were some things that, as Empress, she didn’t have to explain. Vhalla didn’t want to exercise her authority often or without good reason. But this qualified as a good reason.

Vhalla escaped their eyes and started up a small stair that wound straight up to the king’s and queen’s—or now the Emperor’s and Empress’s—chambers. She made it several steps before she stopped to catch her breath, leaning against the wall for support. Her knees trembled, and her arm couldn’t seem to support her. She slid down the wall and sat on the steps, her chest heaving for air.

She’d gone hunting for the truth, and she had finally found it.
But what did she do with it?
Aldrik had said that he’d put Jax’s life into her hands. That it would fall to her to pardon the man or let him continue on with his service.

After meeting all the lords and ladies, Vhalla knew that the West valued tradition above all other things. They saw Jax as a fallen lord; pardoning him would likely earn their ire. But Vhalla didn’t want to keep him under her command by holding a leash that she didn’t think was necessary.

Though, did Jax even
want
to be pardoned? Was justice still just if it went against the person’s fundamental wishes? She had so many questions but not a single answer.

Vhalla pulled herself off the floor. There was someone else she hadn’t fielded thoughts from. Someone who had just as much noble training as Aldrik. Someone else who’d been born to lead.

She knocked on Elecia’s door and waited.

“Enter,” the woman called.

Vhalla obliged and was surprised to find she had company. “Fritz? What’re you doing here?”

“ ‘Cia is teaching me how to play carcivi.” He pointed to the board that sat on the low table between them.

“ ‘Cia? Does everyone get to call you ‘Cia but me?” Vhalla joined them in front of the open window.

“We’ll see if I ever deem you worthy,” Elecia joked back. She studied Vhalla for a long moment from the corners of her eyes. “So, future Empress, why are you here when I’m fairly certain you have other far more important people to be meeting?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Me?” She seemed surprised that Vhalla would seek her out.

“Yes. I want your advice,” Vhalla affirmed.

“What about mine?” Fritz squinted at Vhalla, making a show of pouting.

“Yours is always welcome, Fritz.” The Southerner would add a completely different perspective from someone who wasn’t of the West and wasn’t nobility either.

“Don’t you have an Emperor you could ask?” Elecia ignored the carcivi board entirely now, giving Vhalla her full attention.

“I do, but I know what he’ll say. I want to know what you’ll say.” Vhalla gave the skeptical woman a small smile. “What kind of Empress will I be if I ignore some of the best counsel available to me?”

Elecia seemed surprised. She tapped on one of the carcivi tokens for a moment in thought. “Very well, what is it you seek?”

“I spoke with Jax.” Vhalla let the weight of the interaction with Jax pull down her voice, taking the smile off her cheeks with it.

“I see.” Elecia heard everything Vhalla had hoped for.

“I know the truth now.”

“He told you?” Elecia seemed surprised. “The truth? Not one of his colorful lies that he uses to scare people away?”

“He told me one of those first.” Vhalla wanted to put to rest any confusion over what she really did or did not know.

“And you got the truth out of him . . .” There was a concerned glint to Elecia’s voice that Vhalla affirmed with a small nod.
Got the truth out of him
, that was a good way to put it, because it certainly hadn’t been graceful. “So, if you know, what do you need from me?”