Curves & Courage (12 page)

I grabbed everything and took it to the table, making a second trip for two glasses of water. I prayed she drank at least one while we ate.

Chapter 29

Sophie

The closer I got to an empty plate, the more anxious I grew. I’d ambitiously been trying to devise an escape route in my head, but it was more complex than I ever imagined. As long as Dan was at his computer, he could see every inch of the building.

On the way in, I had noticed a stairwell door beside the elevators, but couldn’t figure out how to get from the stairs to the front door without the security guard noticing me.

Worse, my gut was telling me that even if I slipped past everyone without being noticed Dom would hunt me down.

The expression on his face kept growing more intense the longer we sat there. He’d devoured his steaks quickly. Meanwhile, my plate was still half-full. It was delicious, but I was too preoccupied.

His arms vibrating caught my attention. He balled his hands into fists as his eyes lit up, a bright glowing honey. The vein on the side of his neck was protruding, his jaw clenched tight above it. His breathing was labored, his nostrils flaring in fury. “Don’t run!” His words were delivered through clamped teeth, his lips twisting in a snarl.

I set my fork down, working to calm my body.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I reopened them, I felt the peace I needed descend upon me.

I pushed my food aside and leaned over the table. I placed my good hand on Dom’s cheek. I gazed straight into his eyes, at his beast. “Calm down.” I made sure I used a sharp tone to get his wolf’s attention, if I didn’t have it already. “I’m not going anywhere right now.” I remained hovering near him until his body began to relax. “I’m not going anywhere for now,” I whispered.
For now
.

Slowly, but steadily, Dom regained control. The way he looked at me was different though. There was some unrecognizable emotion in
the pit of his eyes. His brows were creased as he gaped at me, despite his body finding tranquility.

It wasn’t long before our
heartbeats found a similar rhythm, beating in time together. Our breathing regulated to a shared pitter-patter. We were locked on each other, our bodies coming together despite our distance.

He grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers. He stood
and kicked back his chair. He never took his eyes off of mine. He watched me intently, powerfully. He rounded the table, never glancing away from me. He grazed his fingertips over my lips before sliding them through my wet strands, angling my head back a bit.

My heart sped up with his, beating faster and faster as he closed the distance between us. When his lips brushed mine, I swore angels sung. He was light at first, gentle as I became comfortable. He didn’t press too hard, and he took care not to overwork me since my face was inflamed. He was amazing. He was comforting me with every touch of his lips, with every sweep of his tongue along my inner lips.

He knew what he was doing. He knew exactly how to take my breath away. And that’s exactly what he did.

My heart swelled, my soul pranced with delight as he captured me, enraptured me with his
touch. It was like every stroke of his lips placed a bandage on an old wound, hoping to heal it. His kisses had healing power in them. He stoked an inner flame within me; he was evoking confidence, awakening my inner strength. He was giving me what I hadn’t realized I needed until now.

It was humbling to realize
I trusted him with every part of me. I trusted him more than I trusted myself right now.

As he broke away, he tenderly brushed his lips to the bruises on my fac
e. His lips were feather light.

I looked up at him. His features were soft, his eyes shimmering with incandescence. It was both of them, he and his wolf. They were both capable of patient passion, an unusual combination, especially in the supernatural world. It left me speechless, speechless and
dazed by their generosity.

They were so kind. They were serving their hearts up on a platter to me while I was plotting a way to leave them. I’d never felt so low, so undeserving.

Tears sprung abruptly. How easily I said I trusted him more than myself, yet I wasn’t doing that. There was no such thing as partial trust. It was an absolute intangible entity. It was an all or nothing thing. Yet, here I stood, guilt riding me hard because I wasn’t doing that. I wasn’t trusting him.

I held back the tears, waging a mental war with myself. My chest was tight, my heart heavy as I gazed up at him. He wanted to be my knight in shining armor. He was trying so hard to be everything that he thought I needed. He was being more, doing more than I ever
earned. He made me feel so special, like I was actually worth fighting for.

I didn’t believe I was worth fighting for though. That was the real issue. I didn’t feel worthy of being saved.

As much as my dad had done to me, I had to admit my fault in it. I’d invoked him. There were times when I could tell he wasn’t in a good mood, yet I lingered, I stayed longer than I ought to have. There were…

I sighed.
No.
There were no excuses. I’d tried for years to blame myself for his actions, but I wasn’t at fault. Wanting to be with someone didn’t earn you capital punishment. Dom wanting to protect me shouldn’t earn him expulsion from my life. In a way, I was becoming my father.

My father knew the error of his ways, but was too afraid to admit them. Rather, he took it out on those around him, which happened to be me.

I knew, deep down, that I wasn’t entirely invaluable, but I was too afraid to admit it. I was afraid admitting my worth would create this overwhelming pressure, this overbearing burden to live up to invisible standards, to achieve impossible goals just to justify Dom’s good deed. I would feel like I owed him something. I would feel indebted to him far more than I already did.

Truth was, it was easier to continue to fail my father than to risk disappointing Dominick. I cared about him; his opinion mattered to me.
He
mattered to me.

“Please don’t run, Sophie.” His voice was a soft plea that tugged at my heart.

“I don’t think I can be who you need me to be, Dominick.” My tears teetered, on the verge of falling.

“I just need you, Soph. I just want you here with me, safe with me, sweetie. Nothing more.”

I shook my head negatively, biting into my bottom lip. “For now.” I swallowed hard. “Maybe longer, but at some point, you’re going to need me to be more. You’re going to be an alpha, Dom. I’m not cut out to be an alpha’s mate though.”

“I’m not asking you to be anything more than yourself.” His dimples indented as he smiled at me. “
Plus, you’ll be head over heels in love with me by the time I’m alpha. You won’t be able to walk away from all this sexiness.” Leave it to him to cut through the tension at exactly the right time, just before I broke down from the magnitude of the circumstance.

I expelled a sigh with a bit of a chuckle on the end of it. I shook my head in dismay as I looked up at him. Nature definitely knew what she was doing. So why was I still questioning her? Why was I still defying what was obviously right?

“I was planning to run,” I admitted.

He dragged his fingers through my hair, moving it away from my neck. “And now?”

“I want to, but I don’t know if I can.”

His pulse sped up as he
stared past me. “Why?”

He deserved the truth,
but I didn’t know if I had the guts to share it. Fate had a way of working things out for you though.

“Dominick.”

We both turned towards the voice, his father’s voice. There was something in his tone that had unease knotting my insides immediately.

Dom exchanged a heavy
glare with his father. He nodded his head once in understanding of their nonverbal exchange.

I swallowed hard, looking to my mate for explanation, praying he wouldn’t deny me.

“A few of the other pack young spotted your dad at the school.” He met my gaze. “He’s looking for you.”

I knew I should be afraid. I knew, logically, I should be flying into to action, going to meet him halfway in an effort to appease him. But I was in Dom’s arms. I felt safe cocooned against him.

And I would be an idiot to leave safety for the storm.

I was a pathetic
Ping-Pong ball, barely lingering on one side of the net before flying back over it. Why was I so indecisive? Why was I so confused about a clear-cut path? It was known that when you met your mate, there was no running. Once their scent crossed your path, your wolf became obsessed; where your wolf slacked, your own instincts kicked in, driving you towards your destiny.

There hasn’t been a single wolf to avoid fate. One way or anothe
r, you ended up with your mate…for life. We didn’t believe in divorce. We didn’t argue with Nature, Fate, God, or the gods.

I knew one way or another I would end up with Dominick. I suppose my true
conflict was whether to be with him now, dumping my issues upon him, or later, when I had a better grip on my life and far less baggage. I would feel selfish either way. Either I would selfishly burden him or I would selfishly abandon him. I say selfishly because he made it clear he didn’t want me to go.

It was hard dealing with adult issues, future prospects
, at such a young age. I wasn’t complaining about my lot in life; I’d accepted it for what it was. More so, I struggled with balancing my hopes with reality, and yet, somewhere along the way, I’d given up hope altogether.

I felt my brows furrow.
I wasn’t even making sense to myself. Perhaps I was panicking and didn’t realize it. Maybe I was just dumbfounded by the changes shaking up my life. It wasn’t a pretty life, but it was mine. I’d created a routine. Regardless of where we lived, I had an unchanging schedule. It kept me sane. It gave me stability when I otherwise wouldn’t have had any.

“You’re gonna give yourself a headache.” It was
a chide, but he said it with a smirk, almost teasing me for my obsessive thinking. Somehow he’d managed to regain complete control. I knew he was upset about my dad, but I didn’t see it. His smile faded as he stared at the worried expression I knew I wore. “You need to let go, Soph. You can’t change what’s happened. You can change what happens next though.” He swallowed hard, tension claiming him. “Let me change what happens next for you.” He met my gaze with purpose. “I’m going to change it somehow anyways.”

I knew that. I knew he would be in my life in some capacity before he claimed me for forever. I
remembered how Fate worked with wolves, yet, I was still struggling to accept it. For some reason, I couldn’t let that last wall fall. There was some part of me that was still afraid, of what I didn’t know though.

“Do you mind if I go lay down for a bit?”

He assessed me. He glanced at the table, at my plate of food. “Doc said you need to eat.”

I snorted. “I’m not going to dwindle away to nothing.”

He growled. “Yeah, you are. Just because you’re bigger than the other girls doesn’t mean you aren’t starving.” His eyes glowed as a snarl curled his lips.

This was the second time I regretted climbing into my little inner cocoon with my wolf. I didn’t know what my dad had done to me and I didn’t know wha
t the doctor had said about me…because I was afraid to know.

I was living in a hell I’d never accepted, yet never ran from either. How was that possible? How had I existed in pain for so long? How had I avoided the
hurt for so long? Thinking back, I didn’t experience a quarter of the excruciating agony I knew I should have from my dad’s abuse. Somehow, I’d blocked it out. I lived, but I wasn’t alive. I walked, but I didn’t walk away. I was here, with my mate, yet I wasn’t here.

I might as well have been a zombie. Dom was trying so hard to revive me, to breathe life into me; he wanted to share a life with me, he wanted to share
his life with me. But I was denying him; I was rejecting happiness. Why? Because then I would have to face the past for what it was, then I couldn’t just say I’d been through hell, I would know the pain of the hell I’d been through. All my cubbies crammed with the truth, the painful truth I’d been avoiding, would burst open.

“Listen,
Soph, I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to, but I’ll be pissed if you drop one day because you didn’t do what you should have.” His face was an unreadable mask. “From here on, anything you do is your own doing; you have an out from your dad. It’s up to you whether or not you take it though.”

With one final cursory look, he stalked out the front door, leaving me standing there. And, just as I’d suspected, knowing I’d upset Dom was a million times worse than with my dad.

Guilt assaulted me, ramming my chest repeatedly until I felt bruised and broken. My lungs felt water logged, weighed down, and struggled to expand; I felt like I wasn’t getting any air. Dom had taken my air when he walked out the door.

I was finally being forced to face reality. I
was finally having to take control. I was finally being required to choose what I wanted, to admit what I wanted.