Cyrus (5 page)
“Birdie.”
“What the fuck is Birdie?”
“Carly’s stripper friend, so don’t act all
fucking high and mighty with me!”
“Tara?”
“Yeah, you pierced her tits, Carly went to a
strip club, I throw out a fucking dirt bag pusher, Rico gave her a
tattoo and the shop and my head got the shit end of the deal. So
don’t come in here all fucking…”
“Did you fuck her?”
“No I didn’t fuck her, damn Jase.”
“Let me rephrase that, have you seen her
since?”
“Once, briefly.” He looked at me so I just
let it out told him the whole damn story, I was a perfect
gentleman.
“Get dressed, we’re going to find out what
his deal is.”
“No man
we
are not. Zandor and I will
go, when he gets back,” he glared at me, “Don’t fucking play badass
with me, you’re Little Bells Dad.” He looked away, “Besides your
fucking pussy whipped, and I need someone who actually has their
own set of balls standing next to me.”
“Eat shit-- I’m going.”
“Then we go together, the three of us Jase.
You cool with that?”
“Yeah, just fucking hang low until then. You
scared the fuck out of me last night.”
“See what I mean? You’re going soft,
Jase.”
After two days: I was hungry, tired, and
broke. My phone’s battery was dead and I had no more options so I
walked ten miles back to the apartment. It was dark, and I knew my
roommates would all be at work or at a party celebrating Labor
Day.
The first thing I did was take a shower, and
it hurt. I washed everywhere except the very tender area that Tony
had pulled the piercing out of when he brought one of the things I
feared the most in life. Pulling antibiotic ointment out of the
medicine cabinet I wondered if it was too late to try to stop an
infection. I wrapped myself in a towel and brushed my teeth as I
looked at my eye that was still bruised.
After I dressed, I looked in the
refrigerator for something to eat. I knew not to stuff myself after
eating just two small meals since that night. I drank a glass of
milk and made some toast: it tasted so good.
I went into my room and looked at my bed,
someone had slept here, but I didn’t care. I still had one blanket,
two sheets, three pillows, four books under my bed, five pairs of
underwear, six bras, seven dresses, eight pairs of shorts, nine
shirts, and ten pairs of socks, which was more than I had ever had
in my entire life.
I put on my pajamas and flipped the pillows,
laid my head down and promised myself that I wouldn’t hide, I would
be safe here, I will be safe.
I woke when I heard someone crying. I turned
slowly over in the bed and saw Tony sitting on his knees beside me,
he looked like hell. His eyes were red and puffy and when he looked
up at me he whispered, “Please forgive me, Tara.”
I didn’t say anything partially because I
was frightened, and partially because seeing him like that made me
sad.
“Let me fix this, let me show you how much I
love you. I would…”
Cassidy burst through the door and saw him,
“Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“Get out now,” he growled at her.
Now I was scared, really scared.
“You gonna tell her that we’ve been fucking
in her bed for two days Tony, or sit there like a little…”
“GET OUT!” He stood up and walked towards
her, I couldn’t see his face, but I saw hers and I could have sworn
she trembled, “Unless you want to find yourself a new job, and a
new place to live… you better turn your ass around and walk out of
here right now, Cassidy.”
“But I thought…”
He turned towards me, “Tara, I fucked
Cassidy in your bed. Now Cassidy-- she knows. I was drunk and I
missed her. I came to her bed needing to be close to her. I
pretended you were her, so it’s not like I cheated. I was fucking
you, pretending it was the girl I love. Now hopefully she can
forgive that and hopefully you can get over it because she and I
are a team, and if she wants you out of here you know damn well I
can make that happen, so walk on egg shells, bitch. She runs the
show here now, and you can get the fuck out!”
When Cassidy slithered away he turned to me
and knelt by my bed again. He very cautiously took my hand and
pleaded for forgiveness. He promised over and over again to be
better for me. “I’m very tired.”
“Where were you Tara? I looked everywhere
for you, I even went back to Harlem. I stayed at that building, the
one I got you out of… remember that one? Well I stayed there for a
whole day.”
“I slept on the beach.”
“Alone?”
“Of course alone.”
“Thank God, I knew you’d be back. What we
have is like nothing else in this world…”
When he tried to touch me, I pulled
back.
“Tara, I won’t hurt you ever again. I’ll
give you a couple days to forgive me. I’ve forgiven you Tara, it
only took two days.”
He laid on my bed next to me and held my
hand gently, “Sleep Tara, I won’t let anyone hurt you. I will keep
you safe like I always have.”
I was still awake when and he walked out of
the room. I heard the shower run, which was a good thing, I was
pretty sure he hadn’t showered in at least two days either.
His phone was beside my bed, well the
mattress where I slept on the floor. The message was from Larry
.
-Just had a visitor asking about you. You
better not fuck this up or you’ll be in deep shit. Get Tara here
tonight, it’s gonna be busy and you have an errand to run…
I set the phone back down just as the shower
turned off. I rolled over and pretended to be asleep.
He hissed when he read the message and paced
a bit before laying down beside me and wrapping his arm around
me.
“Tara, you awake?”
“Yes.”
“You up for work tonight? Larry needs us
there. I have to go in-- I owe him some money. I kind of borrowed
against our cut of the video. I got us a place, a real nice place--
and we can move in, in a couple of weeks. Tara it has a big kitchen
and a huge bedroom. Two bathrooms both with tubs. The one in the
master bedroom is big enough for both of us.” I didn’t reply, I
didn’t know what to say. I’d never had a place of my own, I’d never
had a bathtub that I could soak in. “Tara did you hear me?”
I shook my head yes and started to cry. He
leaned over and wiped away my tears, “We’re a team Tara. We’re
gonna be so good together. We’ll never be hungry. You won’t have to
dance, unless you want to.”
“Do you sell drugs?” I hadn’t meant to say
it out loud but if I was going to forgive him I needed to know.
“Sometimes I drive them, never sell though,”
he looked down at me, “I don’t want to Tara, but we need the money
so that we don’t have to do that stuff anymore. Please tell me we
can get through a couple more weeks and then we’re going to be done
with it all.”
~
We walked into the club and Cassidy walked
away quickly, “If she so much as looks at you the wrong way Tara,
you tell me. Let’s get you a drink and loosen you up a bit. I can’t
wait to watch you tonight, Tara.”
He grabbed me a drink and brought me back
into Larry s office.
“Glad you’re back,” Larry smiled, “I want
you to see the video we have, and just so you know Tara, you’re a
fucking star.”
I watched the video of me giving Tony head,
it looked better than it did the first time. Tony was looking at
me, and he was so happy.
“Look at us,” he kissed me, “Me and
you.”
I still felt a little shy about all of it
and dirty but they both assured me no one would ever know. I didn’t
have family so I wasn’t disappointing anyone.
“I love you, now let’s get you out there,”
Tony stood up.
“One more thing Tara,” Larry walked to the
small room behind his office and walked back out with the a garment
bag, “This is for you. No other girl here gets this kind of
treatment but you’re not just one of the girls, you’re a star.”
Tony and I walked in the back and he opened
the bag. Tony watched me, “You’ll look great Tara.”
I pulled my shirt over my head and then took
off my bra, he cringed when he saw what he had done, “Does it
hurt?” I shook my head yes, “I won’t do it again. I won’t hut you
again.”
His eyes were pained and I believed him. He
grabbed some pasties from the drawer, “We have to cover that. And
tomorrow we go get medicine.”
When I was dressed he turned me so I was
facing the full length mirror, “You look so beautiful Tara.”
For the first time in my life, I’d have to
agree.
I showered and hung out all day, nursing a
hangover and a real bad fucking headache. Momma had stopped by with
enough food to feed me for a week and Motrin because of course…
Jase had told her what happened. She was here for hours: I knew she
needed to see that I was alright. I also knew she wasn’t cleaning
and doing laundry, I’m talking washing curtains and shit, because
my place isn’t dirty. She was here making sure I was staying
put.
Nickey and Miss September came back and
Momma left. I watched some very loud TV to drown out the noises
coming from his bedroom and to try to keep my mind off kicking the
shit out of that fucking punk ass bitch and his two boys.
When Miss September left, Nickey sat back
all fucking smiling and shit. I had to laugh at the smug bastard.
He knew my quota hadn’t been filled for the day.
“Nickey, let’s go out.”
“It’s eleven and your grounded man.”
“Grounded?”
“Not supposed to go out. You know, forbidden
by the family…”
“Forbidden by the family huh?”
“Momma Joe called me. You got drunk and got
your ass kicked, which by the way I find fucking hysterical.”
“I need to get laid, lets’ go.”
I wore a hat pulled over my eyes and a hoody
over my tee shirt.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Nicky
laughed as I walked out to his car.
“Momma Joe won’t recognize me,” I
laughed.
“Where to?”
“Strip club, there a sure thing right?”
“Cyrus look at us man, we are a sure
thing.”
~
My blood was boiling when we parked at the
Sorority Sisters, I had stopped in earlier asking for that bitch
Tony, yeah right after Jase left and made it home before Momma
showed up. I was not into sitting in, waiting for my brothers. I
knew the importance of a team, I was a fucking Seal for four years.
Having watched people die I also knew the importance of keeping
people safe, especially people I loved. This was my cross to bear.
I wasn’t going to pull any shit tonight… I just wanted to see if he
would show. Apparently he and the Birdie were off for the
weekend.
We sat in the far back, on the opposite side
of the club as the bar and then I decided to let Nickey in on what
was up. I expected him to be a little pissed at me but when I told
him I wasn’t gonna start any shit I just wanted to gather as much
intel as I could. He insisted I talk to his father and I promised I
would as soon as I had some answers.
I wasn’t drinking just in case some fuckers
wanted to jump me again, I wouldn’t play bitch to scum like that
again. I saw Tony walk out of the bathroom just as the music
changed and I saw her all decked out in emerald sequins. Tiny
little sequined triangles covered up her nipples but even from back
here I could see how fucking round her tits were. I really wanted
to fuck this girl. A sheer skirt split wide in the middle revealed
another tiny patch of green sequins attached to the smallest little
strings. The way she danced fucking got me way too riled up. Not
bumping and grinding, she fucking swayed and floated. The other two
times I had seen her she was timid unless she was dancing. Like her
wings were finally free. The way she climbed the pole made me hard.
I would love her to climb me like that, real fucking bad.
We were too far back to see her eyes, and
she wasn’t smiling so the dimple was non- existent. The tattoo
caught my eye and immediately I was snapped back into the here and
now. “When she’s done, I wanna private dance Nickey, could you go
see the goon over there and set it up?” I threw a few bills at him,
“Get yourself one, too.”
Nicky returned, “Hope she’s worth it C, I
got the hot blonde for thirty minutes for half of what you just
paid for her.”
We waited for the nod and were shown into
the rooms beside the bar. I made sure the piece of shit didn’t see
me.
When she walked into the darkened room, she
immediately spoke, “I’m nervous, I’ve never done this before.”
“Don’t be,” my voice was low I didn’t want
her to know who I was. For now I just wanted to watch her.
“What would you prefer, me to just dance or
a lap dance?”
“Both.”
“Lights or …”
“It’s fine how it is.” The sconce lighting
was low enough to see her from here and once she was close enough,
I could see those eyes.
She was floating closer and my heart was
beating like a big bass drum. I was hard as stone when she backed
up and looked over her shoulder, “This alright?”
“Birdie, it’s perfect.”
I had to grab her by the waist to stop her
from running out of the room.
“Are you crazy?!” she whispered.
“Nope, this is almost as good as I imagine
fucking you would be.”
She gasped, “You’re a stripper Birdie, any
man out there with working eyes wants to fuck you after that show,
maybe even, before.”
“Do you know what he’ll do if…”
“Birdie what the hell happened to your eye?
Turn around and look at me!”
“If you be quiet I will,” she snapped and
turned on my lap, lifting that little leg over my head and I swear
to God if I wasn’t concerned with the light bruising on her eye and
cheek bone I would’ve cum right in my pants.