DAC_II_GenVers_Sept2013 (8 page)

“Despite your flowery praise, I doubt you’re crying with joy over my cooking. Want to talk about it?” Lydia asked finally, keeping her gaze on her plate.

Jane sniffled and laughed.

“You know, there has never been a time in my life when I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. Even when I made a big mistake—like waiting years to believe that Nathan was a cheating bastard for instance—I still always knew how to deal with my bruised ego and get things done. Now. . .”

Jane lifted a shoulder, unsure how to explain.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want too many things I shouldn’t. I have no desire to go on to the next job. It’s like I’m stuck.”

She plucked a fresh tissue from the box and tried to stave off more tears with it.

“Sorry for crying into my burger, but it’s just because you’ve been so nice to me. I’m over here all the time, mooching your food, whining about my life. Now I’m being terrible company. Guess I should have stayed home tonight.”

“Nonsense,” Lydia said briskly. But she sighed as she picked up her burger and took a bite. Instincts singing as she chewed, she looked at the droop of Jane’s shoulders as the woman covered her face with her hands.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Jane. . .but I think you need to get laid,” Lydia said solemnly, turning in her seat just as Jane’s hands dropped away from her shocked face. “And yes, I would tell this to my own daughter if Lauren were still single. I read that it’s very challenging for a normal woman to go without physical intimacy for long periods of time. If I had my life to do over again, I’d go back and sleep with Harrison Graham when he wanted to all those years ago. I love your father more than I dreamed possible, but I passed up intimacy with some really great men just because I was being stupid. Don’t be stupid, dear. You’re too smart to make the same mistakes I did.”

“Setting aside my total shock to even be having this level of discussion with you, there’s no one I want to sleep with, Lydia. I’ve dated, but it’s not working. No one interests me that way,” Jane said.

“No one?” Lydia repeated.

Jane picked up her burger again and took a bite. She chewed and swallowed, all the while wondering how not to lie to Lydia more than she was lying to herself. “Let’s say no one
appropriate
interests me that way.”

Lydia snorted and picked up her burger. “Define appropriate. Like your father was appropriate for me? You once didn’t think he was.”

“That’s different. You and Dad. . . ” Jane stopped mid-declaration. What was her point again? Her mind couldn’t seem to hold two simultaneous thoughts at the same time lately, especially when one of those thoughts was about sleeping with Walter.

“You and Dad were old enough to know your own minds,” she said finally.

“Yes. . .and I held Morrison off for a really long time too,” Lydia said, frowning at her own discomfort with their conversation, but also knowing Jane needed to feel like she could vent to someone. “I held your father off because I didn’t feel like anyone could want me. I figured if I couldn’t be happy that way with Lauren’s father, how could I be happy with any other man? But you know what? I discovered that I can be happy, Jane. And you can be happy too. Your ex is not the only man capable of pleasing you in bed. Trust me.”

Jane stared at her plate. “I didn’t bring enough cash with me to tip you for the therapy. Some cheap ass date stiffed me with a hundred and twenty dollar restaurant bill last week.”

Lydia laughed and shook her head, both appalled and sorry Jane was picking such losers. “No problem. Since I don’t keep sweets in the house, you can consider the advice as your dessert.”

“You think I should sleep with Walter, don’t you?” Jane demanded, snorting at the blush climbing the older woman’s face. “He’s twenty-six, Lydia. TWENTY-SIX. It would be like sleeping with a friend’s son. I just don’t think I can do that.”

“He’s young, but not a kid,” Lydia said, shrugging. “And I’m not suggesting anything specific, other than you take some steps to get your needs met. It just seems like common sense to get them met by a man so obviously willing to meet them.”

“Is that you or your therapist talking?” Jane asked, laughing now as she picked up her fork and attacked her pasta salad.

“Regina Logan is a very smart woman. I only wish I had half her nerve,” Lydia said.

Jane nodded. The few times she’d been in the woman’s company, she had admired her too. “Dad keeps telling me I need to go to Princeton sometime when Dr. Logan gives a talk. He said I would be amazed.”

“Your father is right. You would be amazed,” Lydia agreed, nodding.

“How do you know my ex is my problem?” Jane asked.

Lydia turned in her chair to look Jane up and down. “You’re way too smart for most men to keep up with, filthy rich despite your reluctance to reveal it, and beautiful though you don’t see it. If you aren’t sleeping with any man you want any time you want, it’s because you’ve let a bad one do a number on your head. Get over him, Jane. He’s not worth the sacrifice you are making.”

Jane nodded. “This anxiety doesn’t feel like it’s about Nathan.”

“No? Then why are you holding Walter at arm’s length when all the boy wants to do is put a smile on your face?” Lydia demanded.

“See? Even you called him a
boy
,” Jane declared, but she smiled as she finally let herself feel flattered about Walter’s interest.

“Yes, I called Walter a boy. And I think of you as a
girl
,” Lydia pointed out, poking Jane’s arm with a finger as the woman giggled. “At my age, everyone seems young and immature unless they’re old and stodgy.”

“
Stodgy?
Who uses that word anymore? Now you sound like Harrison,” Jane teased.

Lydia reached over to snatch Jane’s plate away, relenting when the woman laughed and wrestled it back into place.

“I’m only trying to help in a woman-to-woman kind of way,” Lydia insisted.

Jane laughed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Feel free to use all the archaic speech terms you want in any conversation with me. I’ll save them in quotes and post them to my social media later.”

Lydia shook her head and went back to her food. “Fine. Make jokes. If you don’t jump that boy soon, you’re going to lose your chance anyway. He’s going to be seduced away from you. That will be a disappointing situation for both you and Walter.”

“From what I saw the other night, he’s not having much better luck at dating than I am,” Jane admitted, wincing when she realized she had voiced her thoughts aloud. Even to her ears, it had sounded like she was looking for reassurance that it was true. “Forget it. It’s none of my business. Walter
should
be dating. I should be dating. The idea of us getting involved makes no sense whatsoever.”

“Walter dating occasionally is one thing. Having a harem waiting to attend to him is another matter. Walter is pretty honorable for a man his age, but he doesn’t look like he’s
that
good. A lot of temptation is about to come his way,” Lydia said.

Jane stopped eating. “Why do you say it like that?”

Lydia blinked. “The calendar, of course.”

Jane blinked back. “What calendar?”

Shaking her head and blaming the depression for Jane being so out of the loop, Lydia slid off the bar stool for the second time that evening. She padded to the living room, returning shortly with the calendar. Sliding it onto the bar, the calendar didn’t rest for two seconds before Jane snatched it up.

“Look at this. Walter is on the cover,” Jane said, laughing with joy at the cute picture he made. “He looks great, but his shirt is dirty. Wait. Did he mean to do this?”

Lydia shook her head. “I don’t think so. I believe ‘goat-roped’ was the term Harrison used. Walter was helping set up the calendar shoot, but his photos got mixed in with the rest. It isn’t hard to tell though why he ended up in it.”

Jane shrugged. “He definitely looks good enough for the cover. Even dirty. I can see the allure, but. . .”

“Stop right there with the denials,” Lydia said interrupting, “I have two words for you—
Mr. March.
”

Jane wrinkled her forehead, but turned some pages. She gasped at a close-up shot of Walter grinning at the camera as he lifted one side of the shirt as if preparing to peel it off for whoever he was gazing at.

She flipped to look at Mr. February’s gleaming chest and wicked grin, and then to Mr. April’s long blond hair falling over his narrowed eyes and drool-worthy chest. Then she went back to Walter, sighing at the truth.

The appeal of Walter’s photo over the others was that it so obviously
wasn’t
posed. His snapshot was a glimpse of the real man. It revealed the unvarnished sexuality of the guy who had leaned in her office doorway and once teased her about marrying him. The man in the picture was a man that no woman with eyes in her head would ever write off because he was chronologically a boy. No woman except her that is.

“I’m going to be thirty-nine on my birthday. Next year I’ll be forty. You should have seen the woman Walter was with at dinner. She wasn’t even as old as he was and her body. . .
oy vey
, as my mother would have said. Four inch heels, Lydia. Four inch heels and an ass with no droop at all,” Jane declared, her gaze going back to Walter as she ran her fingertips over his picture. The memory of what those muscles felt like was still vivid in her mind. And now. . .now she could see how good they looked too.

Lydia returned her interest to her plate and set about finishing her food. “Well, what woman wants a droopy ass? Mine doesn’t droop. Nothing on me droops. And I’m damn well going to make certain it doesn’t until the day I die, even if I have to get fake boobs like Dorothy Henderson did.”

“If I cave now, I’m just going to be one in a long line. I don’t think I can do that. I’m not that kind of woman,” Jane said with groan.

“Okay. What kind of woman are you then?” Lydia demanded, scraping the last bite of pasta salad off her plate and onto her fork. She ate it, keeping her gaze locked to Jane’s.

“I don’t know what kind of woman I am,” Jane answered finally, hating to hear the whine in her voice. “An indecisive one about Walter obviously.”

She pushed the excellent pasta salad away before putting her face in her hands again.

“Probably also a stupid one for even worrying about this.”

Lydia sighed as she shook her head. “Don’t wait too long to find out the truth. You’ll only hate yourself for it when you’re older.”

Jane groaned loudly, the sound of her indecision filling the room.

If anyone had asked, Jane would have said that she hadn’t made money flipping businesses by giving up when she’d done something stupid. No, the secret was that she had just gone right back the next day and figured out what needed to be done to make it right. This morning she found herself hoping that same approach would work in her personal life.

She had indeed been stupid about Walter. Staying away wasn’t working. Only time in his company was going to cure the silly infatuation they had for each other.

Jane took a deep breath to quiet her nervousness as she walked toward the office at North Winds. She heard a woman laughing and a husky male voice telling a story. She would have recognized that sexy Virginia drawl anywhere.

“Hitting on Walter’s new help, Harrison? You have to watch out for this one, Amanda. And whatever you do, stay out of his golf cart if he offers you a ride. The man drives like a maniac.” When Harrison smiled in welcome and lifted his hand to her, Jane took it, walked closer, and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Hello, handsome.”

“Jane, you still have the best legs of any woman I know,” Harrison said. “It was very kind of you to share such an incredible sight with an old man like me today. Gets the ticker beating harder.”

Jane snorted. “You big flatterer,” she said, running a hand over Harrison’s shoulder as she smiled.

“If you’re passing them out today, where’s my kiss?” another male voice demanded behind her.

Jane straightened, turned, and blinked at Walter’s teasing grin. He didn’t see her surprise because his gaze was trailing down her legs. Since she was thoroughly enjoying the sight of Walter in his tight jeans and polo, she could only conclude that Harrison was right. Walter’s long denim encased legs definitely got her heart doing double-time. Those shoulders of his were appealing also. She remembered exactly how nice they had felt under her hands.

Seriously glad now that she had spent time looking for her best shorts and fixing her hair that morning, Jane let a laugh escape to lighten the moment. It didn’t help much though. Sucking in a breath, she walked over to where Walter stood in the doorway. She motioned for him to bend over and then chastely kissed his cheek. He smelled like aftershave and heat. Lots of heat. Her lips quivered with regret as she pulled away.

“Hello, Walter. I thought I would see if you have time for a tour today,” she said, wondering if she sounded as breathy and silly as she felt.

Walter felt his heart pounding hard as he straightened away from Jane. He congratulated himself on not doing something totally dumb, like crushing her to him and devouring her in single bite. Or worse, dropping to his knees to run his hands over those incredible legs of hers.

“I was hoping you would show up this morning,” Walter said.

Jane lifted her quivering hands in the air for a shrug, laughing nervously at how self-conscious she suddenly was. And quivering hands? When did that start happening? “Well. You can stop waiting, Walter. I’m here.”

“You’ve come at the perfect time,” Walter said, trying to bank the longing her words had evoked. “The architects are still looking for the best places to drill. Now you can meet them.”

“Sure. Sounds interesting,” Jane said, dropping her hands and shoving them into the pockets of her shorts, hoping Walter hadn’t noticed her discomfort. She was always cool. Always collected. Always. Like a woman who was almost forty was supposed to be.

“Aaaaah!” Jane called out, yanking her hands from her pockets after feeling Walter’s fingers on her arm. “Sorry, Walter. Guess I shouldn’t have had that second cup of coffee this morning.”