Daddy's Little Girl (A Homespun Romance) (9 page)

He began to clear the table.  Jason's attitude was so different from Uncle Samuel's.  Her mother's brother had never picked up after himself or even put the newspaper back together after he'd read it.  He'd always taken for granted the fact Sara or her mother would do it. 

"I'll read to Kelsey till you come in."

She didn't want Jason thinking she was usurping another privilege.

"That's fine."

Kelsey fell asleep after the first story, worn out by the two hours she had spent at the Park and her long bath.  Sara began to tidy the room.  There were a couple of Jason's books on business management on the floor.  Kelsey loved carrying her father's books around, and pretend to read them. 

Sara picked up the first one and it slipped out of her grasp.  The second time she picked it up, she saw the corner of a photograph sticking out.  Pulling it out, she looked at it, her breath catching in the middle of her chest.

The woman in the picture had to be Jason's wife.  She had a glorious mane of red hair, a beautifully made up face and an exquisite choker of emeralds and diamonds that drew attention to her green eyes.

The hair was like Kelsey's, but the eyes weren't.  Sara couldn't tear her gaze away from the picture.  Jason's wife had been very sophisticated.  The expression in her eyes also said this was a woman who was very sure of herself.  They must have been a very attractive couple.

Sara jumped when she felt the picture being taken out of her hands.  She stared at the poker expression on Jason's face.  His gaze fixed on his sleeping daughter, he ripped the photograph into shreds.  Frozen, Sara could think of nothing to say, as he moved forward to kiss Kelsey's cheek and tuck the blanket in around her.

She was still silent as he left the room.  Sitting down in the rocking chair, she set it in motion.  There was sweat on her forehead and her palms were clammy.  Had Jason thought she was prying in his things?  That must have been why he'd looked so angry.  She couldn't have felt uneasier if she'd stood on the brink of a volcano and discovered it wasn't dormant.

Jason was very much in love with his wife still.  What was it he'd said earlier?  He'd moved out of the house he'd shared with her, let the staff go because he hadn't wanted anyone to remind him of the time his wife had been alive.  Then there was the way he'd torn Diana's picture up, angry that she'd been looking at it.  He had no room in his life for anyone other than Kelsey.

Sara had a hard time falling asleep that night.  Why had Jason fixed the nachos for her?  It wouldn't do to attach any importance to it...he'd simply remembered what she'd said about missing them.  Under all his impatience, Jason was kind and generous. 

Maybe, Sara thought as sleep finally claimed her, not all men were alike.

Jason stared out of the window of his room.  The darkness outside matched his memories of Di.  He'd thought he'd gotten rid of all the pictures, but one must have been left in the old book on Sara's lap. 

The sight of Di's smiling face reminded him how he had failed her as a husband.  Why hadn't he guessed she hadn't been ready to be a mother?  That she would never be?  Women like Di were never meant to be mothers, but at that time he'd thought the baby would change Di, that she'd settle down.  He'd been so wrong.  Kelsey's birth and Di's attitude to the child had been the final straw in their relationship.  Di had started partying and drinking heavily with a crowd of like-minded people.  On the night she'd been killed, she'd left a club in Los Angeles, with another man.  The man had been a political bigwig and he'd pulled strings to see his name was kept out of the incident report.  Jason couldn't care less...the man had just been one of many.  Even Dee Dee didn't know about the other man or that Diana had been seeing him for the last three months.  Jason hadn't wanted to disillusion her completely...it had been hard enough for Dee Dee to lose her only child.

The demons of the past had chased him for too long.  To keep them at bay, Jason went to his computer.  When he looked up from his work, it was three a.m.  Removing the glasses he wore when he worked, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

A sound brought him to his feet automatically.  His mind on Kelsey, Jason headed for her room.  He stopped in the doorway.  The soft light of the lamp on the dresser showed Sara in the rocking chair, Kelsey in her arms.  She was crooning a soft melody, keeping the rocker in motion with her foot.

Jason leaned against the door, absorbing the scene, letting it wash out some of the earlier bitterness.  It didn't surprise him Sara had gotten here before he had. 

Sara shifted in the chair and he went to her.  "Let me take her.  She's getting heavy."

She shook her head.  "You'll only wake her again."

"Is she sick?"

"No.  It's just a bad dream.  I'm going to put her back to bed soon."

Unwilling to leave, Jason sat down on the carpet, leaning against the chest of drawers.  Tilting his head back he closed his eyes for a minute.

Sara looked at him, glad the soft lamplight hid the fact she was staring.  She'd seen the light in his room, knew he hadn't gone to bed.  Had memories of his wife kept him awake, or had she upset him so much that he couldn't sleep?

"I...I didn't mean to pry earlier.  I was just picking up the books Kelsey had brought in here and the photograph fell out."

Jason opened his eyes.  "I know you weren't prying.  You're not the type."

"She was very beautiful.  Kelsey looks like her."

"And I hope the resemblance will end there."  The harshness in Jason's voice startled Sara.  "Beauty that's skin deep doesn't impress me.  I want Kelsey to be beautiful inside."

Jason's words startled Sara.  He didn’t sound like a man in love with a memory.

"I don't want Kelsey growing up headstrong and spoiled," he added.

The words made something inside Sara shrink.  Had Jason and his wife not gotten along, because Kelsey's mother had a mind of her own?

Uncle Samuel had called her that when she'd told him about the job she'd gotten at the daycare.  Headstrong.  Like Uncle Samuel, did Jason feel women shouldn't have opinions, or make their own decisions?  That they should be ruled by the men in the household?

Kelsey stirred in her arms, and Sara told herself she had no business criticizing her boss.  It was time she went back to her own room.  Getting to her feet, she winced.

Jason was beside her in a minute.  "What is it?"

"It's my right foot.  It's fallen asleep."  It had a tendency to cramp up when she sat a certain way.  Sara leaned most of her weight on her left foot waiting for sensation to return to the other one.  The pins and needles sensation was so bad she bit her lip.

"Here, let me take Kelsey."

As Jason took his daughter, the back of his hand brushed against Sara's breast.  When she'd heard Kelsey cry she hadn't stopped for a robe.  Jason's touch burned through the thin layer of her nightgown, . 

"I'm sorry," he said immediately.

Awkward situations will have to be handled professionally. 

She hadn't realized it would get this awkward, or she would react like a teenager who was all hormones and no self control. 

"That's all right." 

Why on earth did she have to sound as if she'd just run a mile?

As Jason tucked his daughter in, Sara said a quick `goodnight', and limped out of the room. 

Jason woke late the next morning, glad it was Saturday and he didn't have to go to work.  Maybe he would take Kelsey and Sara for a drive into the country.

Sara.  He linked his hands behind his head.  No woman had taken up so much of his thoughts as the little golden-brown owl did.  It wasn't her looks or her body: the things that usually drew him to a woman.  With Sara, it was something more elusive, something he couldn't name. 

It was the way she smiled at Kelsey, the way the color ran up under her skin when he paid her a compliment, the way she told the Bintys to sit down and rest while she made them a pot of tea.  The little things she did tugged at him in a way nothing had in a long time.

He'd never talked about Diana to anyone, yet last night he'd wanted to tell Sara about her, explain why he'd torn Di's picture up.  Jason's jaw clenched.  He had to keep things with Sara on a strictly business footing. 

Jason found Sara and Kelsey coloring in the kitchen, a plate of the cookies, Mrs. Binty called biscuits beside them.  As Kelsey reached for one, Sara snatched it away, said `Mine', and popped it in her mouth.  Kelsey's giggles filled the kitchen, warming Jason's heart. 

The aroma of baking bread filled the kitchen as Mrs. Binty bustled between sink and oven.  In a corner Mr. Binty sat reading the paper.

As always, Sara talked to Kelsey as if there was nothing unusual about a one-sided conversation.  "That's a wonderful picture Kelsey.  We'll put it up on the refrigerator and when Daddy sees it, he'll know you made it for him.  He's going to be so proud of you, and he's going to say `Thank you Kelsey for making me such a great picture'."

"Thank you Kelsey for making me such a great picture."

His words changed the scene in front of him.  Sara looked at him and blushed bright red.  Kelsey ran to him.  Mr. Binty jumped up and said, "I'll get your coffee sir", and Mrs. Binty said something about scrambled eggs and bacon.

"I'll only have coffee now, thank you."  Jason took the third small chair, and kissed the top of his daughter's head.  "Good morning, sweetheart." 

Why was Sara twisting the paper off a crayon and refusing to look at him?  Was she still embarrassed about the way his hand had touched her last night? 

"I'm going jogging in the Park, but when I come back would you and Kelsey like to drive out to the country?  We could take a picnic."

"It's ever such a nice day for a picnic," Mrs. Binty said while Sara just stared at Jason as if he'd suggested she should grow two horns on the top of her head.

"If I might make a suggestion, sir, the Downs are particularly beautiful now."  Mr. Binty handed Jason a mug of coffee.

"Thank you.  We might go there.  Sara?"

"That's fine with me, but if you'd rather go alone with Kelsey, I have plenty of things to do h...here."

Aware of the looks of surprise on the Bintys' faces, Jason said.  "We want you to come with us, don't we Kelsey?  What's a picnic without a fiancé?"

Sara's eyes widened at the reminder of her role.  On impulse, Jason bent and kissed her full on the lips.  Her mouth quivered under his.  Her dazed look heated his blood, but he forced his feet to turn to the door.  "Well, that's settled. Shall we leave at eleven?" 

"It'll do you all good to get some roses in your cheeks," Mrs. Binty said, after Jason had left the room, "and I'll have a nice picnic lunch ready for you to take.  A young couple needs to spend time together.  You and Himself are having problems aren't you dearie?"

Sara stared at Mrs. Binty blankly.  She liked the plump cheerful Englishwoman and her tall, gaunt husband.  Looking into Mrs. Binty's warm brown eyes she realized not much got past the intelligent woman. 

"A f…few."  It was better she thought that, than guessed the truth.  "Jason's very busy with his work right now."

"All the more reason to spend a day away from it.  And if you'd like a word of advice, these days a woman doesn't wait for a man to make the first move.  My daughters didn't.  Some men have starting trouble, if you catch my meaning."  The wink that accompanied the words was loaded with innuendo.

Sara nodded acknowledgement of Mrs. Binty's advice before she hurriedly left the kitchen.  If Jason wanted the Bintys to testify on his behalf as well, they'd have to do a better job of convincing the perceptive couple they were madly in love.

CHAPTER SIX

"I thought we'd take the M40 out of London and then head west to an area called Burnham Beeches," Jason said as he drove out of London.  "It isn't too far away from here and I'm not too sure how Kelsey's going to take a longer drive.  If i remember correctly Burnham Beeches is very pretty with lots of different trees.  Do you think you might like that?"

"Anything's fine with me."

Sara wasn't used to the way Jason always asked her opinion.

"If you'd like to look at the map you can see how we're heading for Cookham in the Thames Valley.  Burnham Beeches is east of Cookham."

Sara opened the map and studied it.  England was chock full of interesting places to see.

Silence filled the car as Kelsey fell asleep in her car seat.   Sara stared out of the window, spellbound by the English countryside.  It was exactly as the English poets she loved to read, described it.  Fields of wildflowers, thatched cottages, quaint villages and the occasional pub. 

"Are you hungry, or thirsty?"  Jason asked after a while.

"Don't stop for me.  I could keep going.  It's all so beautiful," Sara leaned back in her seat.  "It's exactly as all those English poets describe."

From the books he'd seen around the flat he knew Sara's taste in reading leaned towards poetry, essays, and human interest stories.  Mrs. Binty had mentioned that Sara had asked her how to get to the nearest library.

"As soon as I can take a day off, we'll leave Kelsey with the Bintys and visit Stratford-on-Avon."

Sara's breath caught in her throat at the thought of a whole day alone with Jason.  It took a minute longer for her to realize that thought had come first.  Before the one that visiting Shakespeare's birthplace had been a dream she'd never thought would ever come true.

She glanced at Jason's profile.  Why was he being so kind to her?  Was it to ensure that she gave her best to Kelsey?  A glance over her shoulder showed the little girl fast asleep.  Sara's gaze softened.  Jason didn't have to worry that she'd be anything but nice to Kelsey.

"I'm going to keep on driving.  That way Kelsey will get her nap in and we can get deeper into the country."

"Sounds fine to me."  Sara said turning her gaze back to the rolling fields of knee high grass and wildflowers.

"How do you like what you've seen of London so far?"

Meera and she had gone out thrice.  "I loved Westminster Abbey, the bookstores in Charing Cross road, and Portobello Market.  Going around with Meera gives me an insider's viewpoint of London.  She's full of stories."

Sara bit her lip.  She had almost said that the sights and sounds of London had given her grist for the writing mill.  She'd had to keep the correspondence classes she'd taken at eighteen a secret from Uncle Samuel.  Having her lessons mailed to Claire's address, she'd worked on them after Uncle Samuel had gone to bed.  No one besides her friend knew that Sara liked to write essays that were humorous observations on life.  Since coming to London she wrote early each morning before Kelsey got up.

"Some of the bookstores have readings by famous authors.  You might like to go to them."

"Yes."  She wondered if Jason's instinctive understanding of what she needed, was because he'd had so much practice with his daughter.  It couldn't be anything else.

The spot they finally stopped at made Sara wish she could paint.  The scene in front of her eyes was meant to be captured for posterity.  A huge oak, fifty yards away from the road, provided the perfect place for their picnic.  In the distance, sheep and cows grazed, and somewhere she could hear a stream gurgling softly.  The soft grass was dotted with flowers of every color.

While Jason got Kelsey out of her car seat, Sara walked ahead with the picnic basket and the red and white blanket Mrs. Binty had given her.  Spreading it out, she watched as Jason lay a still sleepy Kelsey on the blanket.

"I'll stay with her if you'd like to go for a walk."

"Not right now," Sara knelt in front of the basket and opened it.  "Would you like something to drink?"

"Please."

She poured some iced lemonade into three glasses and held Kelsey's for her while she took a long drink.

"You had a nice nap, didn't you sweetheart?"  she said.  "Let's have lunch and then we'll go for a small walk and get some pretty flowers.  See the cows?  You know what the cows say don't you?  Moo...ooo.  And the Sheep?  Baa...aaa."

Returning from the car with two folding chairs, Jason caught the last of Sara's words.  "Know what Daddys say?" he asked, a smile on his face.  Daddys say, "I'm hu...u..ungry"

At his roar, Sara's laughter mingled with Kelsey's giggles.  The sound drew Jason and his gaze rested on her mouth.  Had anyone told Sara what a sweet laugh she had?

Sara froze.  Why on earth was Jason looking at her mouth like that?  A wave of heat swept through her as she put a finger up to her lower lip.  Did she have something stuck there?

The gesture reminded Jason that he was staring.  He turned away to set the chairs up.  What on earth was the matter with him?

Sara opened the wicker basket that had been designed by a genius who had found a spot for everything they might need.  Taking out the plates, she set them on the blanket and then put the food out.  Mrs. Binty had put in devilled eggs, three different kinds of sandwiches; roast beef, cold chicken and mayonnaise, and Sara's favorite, thin slices of cucumber with a little bit of butter.  There were cookies, plum cake, and homemade English toffee to go with it.

"Is this some kind of a message that we shouldn't hurry back?"  Jason asked, as he noticed the quantity of food Mrs. Binty had packed.

She laughed.  "I think Mrs. Binty is hoping our appetites will improve out in the open.  She says it’s hard to cook for four….she’s used to cooking for bigger numbers."

As they ate, the serenity of their surroundings washed over Sara.  It was nice to be here, sense the warmth and love Kelsey and her father shared, be part of their circle for a brief while.  She stopped, deviled egg in hand as a twinge of pain shot through her.  This was only a temporary situation.

"Penny for them?"  Jason asked, reaching for his fourth sandwich.   Why on earth was Sara looking as if someone had punched her in the stomach?

"They aren't worth a penny."  Sara turned to Kelsey and handed her half a cold chicken sandwich.  Mrs. Binty had cut the chicken pieces up fine for the little girl.

He had learned that with Sara it was best not to pursue a subject.  The golden brown owl had stubborn feathers.

"It's so peaceful out here," Sara murmured.

"The country's fine on a day like this," Jason said, "but I don't think you'd like to live here."

"Why not?"

"There's nothing to do."

A few years ago a friend had invited him to use his guest house in the country.  He remembered Diana whining non-stop about boredom the entire weekend.

"Nothing to do?"  Sara said.  "If you had your own garden, Kelsey could run and play outside most of the day, and...."

Her voice trailed away.  It sounded as if she were discontented with Jason's choice of London as a base.  Remembering how he had reacted to his mother-in-law's criticism, Sara held her breath. 

"Are you saying you prefer the country to London?"

"Its certainly better than London for Kelsey."

Jason shook his head impatiently.  "Forget Kelsey for a minute.  What would you do down here?"

"Take long walks, garden, read."  And write. 

"Peter Wilton's just bought a house in the country.  We could visit him and Meera one weekend.  That would give you a taste of what it's like to live here."

His tone indicated he didn't think she would like it once she'd tried it on a day to day basis. 

"I don't usually say I'd like something if I don't mean it," Sara said stiffly.

Jason looked at her, eyes narrowed.  "You told me you've lived all your life in Rainbow Valley.  Granted it's a quiet, peaceful suburb of Los Angeles, but you're just a stone's throw away from any kind of entertainment  and shopping one could imagine."

"Being a stone's throw away didn't mean I went to all those places."

"Because of your uncle's health?"

"Partly."  Uncle Samuel had made more rules than there were days in the years, and the painful lectures even when she went to Claire's place had been hard to take.

The look on Sara's face prompted Jason to say.  "What did you do for fun?"

"I read."

Jason's eyes narrowed.  He was getting a strange feeling in his gut about Sara's past.  "Was your uncle very strict?"

Instead of saying anything, she picked up her glass and drained the lemonade in it.  "Sara?"

The contract still bound her to being be perfectly honest.

"Yes, he was."  Sara stood up and brushed the crumbs off her jeans.  "Want to go for a walk Kelsey?"

Kelsey abandoned the plastic puzzle she had been working on and got to her feet.  Watching them leave, Jason realized he had trespassed in an area of Sara's personal life where he really had no business.  She wasn't going to tell him any more, but he had plenty of pieces to put together now.  The condition of her clothes, her lack of self-esteem, her feeling that she should do all the work.

Jason's eyes narrowed in anger.  Someone had done a real number on her.

He reached for another roast beef sandwich.  He'd always thought the longer you knew someone, the easier it became to understand them.  Sara was the only exception he knew to that rule.  Some kind of misguided sense of loyalty had her clamming up whenever he got too close.  Trying to milk one of the cows they'd seen in the fields they'd passed would have been easier than trying to get a glimpse of Sara's past.

He was stretched on his back fast asleep, when they returned.  In sleep, he'd lost the strain that was always present on his face.  For a moment Sara wanted to reach down and touch him.  Kelsey tugged at her hand and Sara turned away.  She placed a finger on her lips. "Let’s not wake Daddy.  He's tired.  Let's sit by the tree and make daisy chains."

Kelsey looked at her father and then placed a finger on her own lips and nodded. 

Jason woke to the sound of Sara's voice.  "The Prince bent down and lifted the Sleeping Beauty to kiss her.  The bit of poisoned apple stuck in her throat fell out.  Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at the Prince.  He was so handsome.  He bent and kissed her and the Sleeping Beauty knew she loved him.  They got married and lived happily ever after."

Jason looked at them.  Sara must have made the circlets of flowers both she and Kelsey wore like crowns.  He guessed she'd had to undo her pony tail to keep the flowers on her head, because her hair framed her face.  Kelsey looked like a little cherub, her circlet of flowers already crooked.  If only he'd remembered the camera.  His cell phone would do for now but with his camera he could have caught the colors and their expressions better.

"You're both so beautiful," Jason said, watching the color flood Sara's face as her gaze tangled with his.

"Doesn't Kelsey look like a Princess?"  Sara asked quietly.

"I said you're both beautiful," Jason reiterated.

Sara looked away.  Jason was startled by the sadness that brushed her face.  Didn't she believe him?  Obviously not, for her to look the way she did now.

"Does anyone want to kiss the sleeping Daddy and wake him up?"  he asked.

Kelsey giggled and flew into his arms while Sara poured tea from a thermos into two mugs and handed Kelsey a covered drinking cup, filled with milk.  Mrs. Binty had packed chocolate éclairs to go with the tea.

"I think we'll have to continue the practice of having afternoon tea when we get back to the States," said Jason, watching Sara bite into an éclair.  They were her favorite pastries and Mrs. Binty made them very often.

Sara told herself to stop being silly and reading more than there was on the surface into every word Jason said.  He was just being kind when he'd made that remark about her being beautiful, and whenever he said `we' he meant Kelsey and himself.  Besides she really didn't want to be tied to anyone so soon after Uncle Samuel's death.  Or did she?

"I meant what I said earlier about you being beautiful," Jason said as Kelsey drank her juice and held the cup to her doll's mouth.  "Don't you believe me?"

"I'm not beautiful."  Sara held his gaze though the color that ran up under her skin told him he had embarrassed her again.

The note of finality in her voice angered Jason.  Something had to be done about Sara's low self esteem.

"As a man, I see things that your mirror isn't showing you."

Sara looked at him, her eyes growing large.

"You've got eyes a man can both lose and find himself in, a mouth made for kissing, silky hair that would be wonderful to run one's hands through, and a very sexy smile."

"Sexy," Sara repeated as if she'd never said the word aloud before.  Jason had a hard time not smiling.  She sounded as if it were an insult.

"Very sexy," he repeated.  "You could have any man you want."