Daddy's Little Girl (A Homespun Romance) (13 page)

Congratulations Sara.  Success belongs to people like you who dare to dream and then work towards putting foundations under their dreams. 

It was signed Love, Jason and Kelsey.  He must have ordered them from the florist downstairs.

Sara looked at him as he took the flowers from Mr. Binty and put it into her hands.  "We're so proud of you, Sara."

She buried her face in the roses, and then held them for Kelsey to sniff.  "They're wonderful.  Th...thank you Jason."

Sara wasn't aware she sounded lukewarm till she glanced at Mrs. Binty and Dee Dee.  They were both looking at her strangely.  Instinct told her she wasn't reacting the way she ought to. 

She'd just received amazing news.  Her fiancé had done something romantic and generous.  She'd thanked him as if they were strangers.  It didn't add up right.  Sara put the flowers on the table, and placed both hands on Jason's shoulders. 

Jason didn't know if it was the pressure of Sara's fingers on his shoulders, urging him to bend down so she could brush her lips against his, or the shy look that only he could see that came into her eyes every time she kissed him, that heated his blood.  Maybe it was the fact that soon she'd want to spread her wings and fly right out of his life.

He hauled her to his chest and crushed her mouth under his.  His tongue plunged into the soft cavern of her moistness and when he lifted his head they were both breathing hard and there was no sign of anyone else in the kitchen.

Sara stared up at Jason.  Her heart felt as if it were going to burst and her legs shook so badly if she pulled away from him she thought she might fall.

That had been more than a play acting kiss.

Jason reached up and brushed aside a strand of hair that was blowing across her lips.  "Go and get dressed.  We're going out to dinner to celebrate the fact you're a soon-to-be-published author.  Shall we leave at seven?"

"There's no need to celebrate.  I mean it's not as if I'm published, or anything like that."

The finger on her lips stopped her.  "Sara, the letter you just received is the first milestone in your life as a writer.  We have to make the day memorable."

The tears came so fast, she wasn't prepared for them.  Suddenly they were wetting her cheeks, pouring out as if they would never stop.

"What's wrong?"

She couldn't say a word.  Busy trying to stop them, she wiped them away, but fresh ones followed.

Jason reached for her and took her into his arms.  Cradling her head he pressed it to his chest and let his lips rest against her forehead.  "Shh!  It's all right.  It's all right."

Her slender body shook with the force of her tears.  It took a while for her to calm down.

"Want to sit down and let me get you a cup of tea?"

She shook her head, tightening her hold around his middle.  Heat flowed through Jason.

"Was it something I said?"

Her head moved up and down against his wet shirt front.  Jason thought about it.  All he'd done was get her a small bunch of flowers and congratulate her.  His jaw clenched.  Had anyone ever celebrated Sara's victories?

He didn't think so.  Holding Sara's arms he stepped away from her.  The sight of her red eyes and nose made him want to kiss her again.

"We're going to paint London red tonight."

Sara sniffed.  "We don't have to go out.  I'll tell them I want to stay right here and celebrate."

"We'll do that tomorrow night," Jason said.  "Tonight I want you to myself."

Sara stood in the middle of the kitchen after Jason left, wondering if there was anything wrong with her hearing. 

Had Jason really said, "I want you to myself?"

The memory of the kiss they'd exchanged earlier escalated the heat pooling in her stomach.  Had he noticed the suspicious looks Dee Dee had been giving them recently?  Was the kiss been his way of emphasizing to Dee Dee that they were madly in love?

Sara looked at the clock.  She'd better hurry.  She wanted to reply to her letter before she went out, and she wasn't sure how long it was going to take to put her make-up on.  A part of her wanted to see the same light in Jason's eyes that she had when he'd come to pick her up at Rudolfo's.

CHAPTER NINE

Jason was knotting his tie when he heard a knock on the door.  "Come in," he threw over his shoulder.

It was Dee Dee.  "I want to talk with you if you have a minute."

Surprise held Jason quiet for a few seconds.  Dee Dee wanted to talk to him?  She looked as if she'd been crying and she was twisting her hands.

"Sure.  Come on in and sit down."

She took the only armchair in the room and he wheeled the chair around from his computer desk and sat on it. 

"I've decided to go home tomorrow and I wanted to thank you for letting me stay here this week," Dee Dee sounded as if she were about to cry again.  "I just wanted to tell you that I'll be dropping the custody case."

Deep relief welled up in him.  Sara had done this.  "Thank you Dee Dee."

"Sara said that you wouldn't mind me visiting Kelsey.  I p...promise to call first."

"Of course not."  Sara had taught him about being generous.  "In fact I might have to return to England in September.  I'll just be here three days, so there's no point in having Kelsey make the trip.  Maybe you'd like to have her come stay with you during that time, or you could stay at our place?"

Dee Dee's eyes looked as if they might pop right out of her head.  "You mean that?"

"I do."

"Oh Jason, I'm so sorry for all those mean things I said about you."  Dee Dee buried her face in the tissue in her hands.  Her sobs reverberated in the silent room.  "I...I've made so many mistakes.  I knew how selfish and spoiled Di was and yet I blamed you for everything."

Jason patted her back awkwardly.  "I made some mistakes too.  We can only do our best as human beings, Dee Dee.  Don't worry about the past."

She reached up suddenly and kissed him.  "You're a good man Jason, and I'm glad you've found Sara.  She'll heal all the pain of the past.  She made me see how important I am to Kelsey.  I was so scared after Diana died and you began to travel.  At the time I thought you were deliberately keeping Kelsey away from me."

He could afford being generous in victory.  "I was wrong too.  I should have explained things to you, but I was hurting badly.  I never wanted to keep Kelsey away from you.  You're part of our family."

"Do you really mean that Jason?  Things won't change after you and Sara marry?"

"You know Sara.  Do you think she'll change?"

Dee Dee's face lightened.  "No, I don't think she will.  Sara's a good person."

"I do want to make a few things very clear."  He'd better speak his piece while Dee Dee was in a listening mode.

"I know the rules," Dee Dee said quickly.  "I'm not buying Kelsey any new toys or clothes without checking with Sara first.  No junk food and no candy, when she's out with me.  Anything else?"

"I can't think of anything," Jason said reluctantly.  He'd be lucky if Dee Dee kept twenty five percent of her promise.

"Thank you, Jason for giving me another chance."  Dee Dee stopped at the door and turned.  "Mrs. Binty and I are taking Kelsey shopping tomorrow before I leave.  The poor child needs a new jacket...hers has a stain on it."

Jason sighed.  A month ago the same statement would have made him furious and resentful.  He would have seen it as a criticism of his parental abilities...now he saw it as Dee Dee's way.

"Just don't make it mink," he called after her. 

Jason turned his attention back to his tie.  It was one of the new ones that had arrived with Sara's things from Rudolfo's.  He liked the conservative grey and blue design on a black background.  Sara, as usual, had known he wouldn't like anything too flashy.

Things had worked out better than he'd expected.  He had gotten exactly what he wanted, unchallenged custody of his daughter, without having to go through an ugly court battle.  He would be on top of the world except for one thing.  Jason adjusted the knot at his neck.  He no longer had a reason to employ Sara.  The thought filled him with emptiness.

Sara will heal all the pain of the past.  Had Dee Dee seen how much he loved Sara; that the longing in his eyes was real?  He'd have to be very careful that Sara didn't guess how he felt.  She had a right to try her wings out, experience the joy of flying.

The great hunger that was his love for Sara seemed to grow bigger every day.  Now that there was no need for them to keep up this charade, he should set Sara free as soon as possible.  Her new life was waiting for her and she had a right to know.

His mind balked at telling her right away.  They still had two weeks left in England.  What harm would it do to keep her with them that much longer?

To himself Jason admit he was going to listen to the small voice inside him that said maybe, just maybe in the next few days Sara would decide to love him back.

The tiny sound woke Jason at about two a.m.  Out of habit he was on his feet, pulling on a shirt as he went towards Kelsey's room.  He saw Sara right away.  She sat in the chair by the window, crooning one of her soft melodies.

She hadn't changed out of the blue dress she had worn that evening.  Jason took a look at Kelsey's face. She was fast asleep.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, placing the back of his hand against his daughter's cheek.  To his relief, her skin felt normal to his touch. 

"She must have had a bad dream.  I heard her whimpering and I came out to pick her up."

"You haven't been to bed?"

"I couldn't sleep."

She'd sat by her window, staring out at the shadow of the trees in the Park, trying to analyze her feelings.  The evening with Jason had been perfect.  They'd seen a really funny play and then had dinner at the bistro that was becoming her favorite place to eat.  Jason had ordered champagne and insisted she try some.  He'd been charming and attentive, and Sara had been deeply disappointed that he hadn't made any move to kiss her goodnight.

The evening had played on her tightly strung emotions.  The news awareness that hung between them seemed more potent than ever.  At times Sara had felt Jason wanted her to say something, only she didn't know what, or how to say it.

Sara had given in to the impulse to reach up and grab the white scarf that he'd worn with his dark jacket.  Yanking him lightly towards her, she'd murmured against his lips.  "Dee Dee might be still up."

He'd taken over the kiss as he'd done earlier.  Only this time when it was over, he'd left without a word.  She hadn't gone to bed because she'd known she wouldn't be able to sleep.  Jason's rejection of her had been unmistakable.

"Want me to take her?"  Crouched beside the chair, his breath was a warm whisper against Sara's cheek.

"No, that's fine," Sara whispered back.  "She'd just settling down.  I don't want her to wake up again."

Which made perfect sense.  Jason took the window seat and Sara protested.  "You don't have to stay up.  I'll put her down in ten minutes."

"I want to stay, Sara."  The half-light in the room seemed to give him courage for some of the things he had to say. 

All evening he had tried showing Sara how important she was to him, but only the fact he couldn't deprive her of the freedom that beckoned her, held Jason back.  He wasn't going to be the one who took that freedom away from her.

Sara's heart leapt as she recalled the first time they had stayed up together because Kelsey'd had a bad dream.  They'd come a long way since then.  Maybe Jason was going to discuss what was happening between them.

"I can never thank you enough for all the things you've done for Kelsey and me.  I will always be in your debt.  If there's anything I can do for you in return, don't hesitate to let me know."

The cold came up from her toes all the way to her heart.  Tiredness swept over Sara.  "Thank you Jason."

He was already pointing out that this job was over.  Standing up, Sara took one step towards the crib and stopped.  Her right foot was completely numb.

"What is it?"  Jason was beside her in a moment.

"Will you take her please?  My right foot's fallen asleep."

Sitting back in the chair she began to rub her foot. 

"Let me do that."  Jason knelt on the floor in front of her and took her foot in his hands.  The feel of his thumbs against the sole of her foot made Sara feel she was melting inside. 

Jason put a hand up and began to squeeze her calf.  "Are you taking any vitamins, Sara?"  he asked.

Vitamins?  What on earth he was talking about?  She was burning up with longing, and all he could think of was vitamins.

"I'll get you some tomorrow.  You're much too thin and you work too hard."

"I'll get them myself," Sara snapped.  He made her sound like a stick insect.

She didn't want him getting her vitamins in gold or platinum foil capsules from Rudolfo's, if any such thing existed.

The feel of Sara's skin was driving him crazy.  He'd barely been able to walk away when she'd kissed him.  Now the feeling he's reined in earlier had cut loose from every restraint.  Sara was so perceptive.  Didn't she guess the effect she had on him?

Sara looked at him and her heart gave a mighty leap.  Jason was looking at her in a way that said his mind wasn't on any vitamins.

He'd stopped working on her calf and was rubbing his hand up and down her leg.  He reached the sensitive area at the back of her knee and rested his hand there.

"Sara, I want to take you back to bed with me."  Jason wanted to remove the blue dress that had driven him crazy all evening, undo her hair, and run his hands through it till it flowed in a silky curtain over her bare shoulders.  He wanted to watch her face as she removed his shirt, haul her close till bare skin rested against bare skin, and kiss her senseless.

Maybe she was allergic to the salmon fishcakes with sorrel sauce that she'd had for dinner.  Maybe the reaction was affecting her hearing and her willpower.

"Wh...what did you say?"

"I want to make love with you, Sara."

She waited, but nothing else came; no declaration of love, of even liking.  As direct as always, Jason had simply stated what was on his mind.

He waited.  He hadn't put his heart on the line this way for the longest time, but he couldn't hold his love back any longer.  To hell with being noble.

"Sara?"

She wet her lips.  "I c...can't.  I'm sorry Jason."

He let go off her leg, put a hand on her arm.

"Why not, Sara?"

Because unless he loved her back, making love with Jason would destroy her.  Her mother had told her that memories of Cole Adam's love had sustained her all her life.  More than anything, Sara wanted to lie in Jason's arms, to explore the realm of love with him.  Only Jason hadn't used the word love. 

She said the first thing that came into her mind.  "I don't want to get involved right now, Jason.  It would only complicate everything."

She was right.  He stood up and turned away.  The fact she liked kissing him didn't mean she wanted to marry him.  Involvement would interfere with Sara's dreams of freedom.

"You're right.  I wasn't thinking straight."  Jason ran a hand over his face.  He'd better take another cold shower and try and get some sleep.

Jason filled his week with work and meetings for the next three days.  When he couldn't stand it a minute longer, he decided to go home early.

Sara didn't have to be told he was avoiding her...she stayed out of his way.  It was a surprise when she heard his key turn in the lock at three o'clock one afternoon.

Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him in the kitchen doorway.  The dark shadow on his face testified to the fact he hadn’t shaved in the last couple of days and he’d been working too hard.  The new look made her want to run to him and hold him…

Sara bit her lower lip.  "One of the Bintys daughters fell and broke her ankle," she said quickly.  "I gave them two days off."

Jason frowned.  "You'll have to manage Kelsey on your own.  I have a dinner meeting tonight."

"That's no problem."

"That's fine then."  He nodded and left the room.

Sara took a deep breath.  That had been rough but not as difficult as she'd anticipated.  Jason had acted as if nothing had changed and she would take her cue from him. 

The freedom she'd always wanted was just around the corner.  There was no reason to feel as if a rug had just been pulled out from under her feet.

As she lay in bed later that night, Sara admitted the truth.  Living on her own had lost its appeal.  Next to being a part of Kelsey's life, of loving Jason, it seemed empty and lonely.  Turning over on her front Sara punched her pillow.  Positive thinking no longer worked for her.  She would just have to find a way of filling her empty future. 

It had been stupid to think Sara would run into his arms, tell him she loved him.  Driving back from his dinner engagement, Jason told himself to stop being a fool.

A line from the fairly tales she read Kelsey brought a wry smile to his lips.  The Prince had told his woman that he loved her and she'd fallen in love with him instantly.  It wouldn't be like that for Sara and him.  This particular Sleeping Beauty didn't see him as a prince.