Damaged (13 page)

“Wait, wait!” I yelled, trying to break them apart, but Nut was too strong for me. “Don’t hurt her, Nut!”

Peaches clamped her teeth around Nut’s wrist somehow, and then he hollered out in pain and just as quickly punched Peaches
in her face.

“Oh, shit!” I cried, as I watched her slump to the floor, passing out.

“Fuckin’ stupid bitch,” Nut said as he rubbed his wrist and headed to the bathroom.

“Peaches? Get up, girl!” I yelled, shaking her. When she ain’t move, I ran to the kitchen to get a cup of cold water and then
I ran back to where she laid on the floor and dumped it all on her face. She coughed a couple times and twisted her head from
side to side.

“You okay, girl?” I was bending over her, scared to death.

She coughed, nodded, and then started crying. I helped her sit up as I heard Nut leaving out the apartment. He ain’t even
look back to check on her. Bastard. I shook my head. This had been a long day. First, robbed at gunpoint, now this.

“You gotta get away from that crazy nigga before he seriously hurt you!” I said. “And you pregnant?”

She wiped her face and nodded again. “But where the hell am I gonna go?”

I had no words for her. I barely had a place to stay. Chu was acting like he wanted to move to North Carolina these days,
and Peaches was already living on her own since her stepfather had been trying to fuck her on and off for the past couple
years. Nut was all she had.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I wish I did.”

TWO DAYS LATER

W
hen Chu came back in town, I told him all about my wild and crazy weekend. He seemed more quiet than usual and he ain’t say
much about anything I said. It wasn’t like him.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked. “Why you so quiet?”

He shrugged and lit a blunt in the dark bedroom. “You want some?”

I shook my head.

“Come here,” he said. “Put your head right here.”

I crawled over and laid my head across his lean chest, just like he liked it. He held me close and rubbed my hair as he puffed
on the Bob. “If anything ever happen to me, right, I want you to look for my brother, okay?”

I frowned. “What you talking about?”

He shook his head and said, “He’ll know what to do. I just want to make sure you’re all right.”

“Baby, you scaring me,” I said, sitting up and looking at him. “What you talking about?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Camille,” he said before blowing out a long puff. “You trust me, right?”

“Of course.”

“You love me, too, right?”

“Chu? Why you acting like this?” I asked, confused. I reached for his blunt and took a couple long puffs before giving it
back to him. “You know I love you.”

Chu stayed quiet for a long moment and I sat listening to his heart beating.

“Baby, you got me shook. You gonna tell me what’s going on?”

“Nah, it ain’t nothing to tell,” he said, smashing the blunt out in the ashtray. He turned around and kissed me on my lips.
“I just miss you, baby. You miss me?”

“Do you really have to ask that question?” I said, rolling him over on his back and sliding on top of him. “Of course, I miss
you. You wanna see how much?”

Chu nodded and smiled.

S
murf really was a dark-skin dude. Nut called him “blurple” behind his back since that was black, blue, and purple mixed in
his book. I was staring out the window at Smurf leaned up against his white E-Class Mercedes Benz, smiling and talking to
Chu and Nut in the parking lot. I saw some of the neighborhood groupies trying to get Smurf’s attention, but he wasn’t paying
them no mind. They wasn’t even in his league.

There was a lot of people outside since it was still warm. Children riding their bikes, a group of girls playing double Dutch,
some women sitting on the stoop gossiping. Two dudes riding a little tiny motorcycle, neither one of them with a helmet. The
ice cream truck had just left, and I was mad because I wanted a Bomb Pop but was too lazy to go outside and get it. Chu was
too busy to buy one for me.

“What you doing?” Peaches asked, leaning beside me, playing with my twists.

“Girl, just being nosey,” I said. “So when was you gonna tell me you was pregnant, tramp?”

She smiled. “I just found out.”

“Sure.”

“For real.”

“How far are you?” I asked, staring at her swollen jaw where Nut punched her a couple days ago. It was so dark brown it looked
black.

“I don’t know. Maybe about two months. I’m gonna go to the doctor on Tuesday.”

“Wow. You keeping it?”

“Hell yeah! How you goin’ ask me that?” she said, shoving me.

I smiled.

Pop! Pop! Pop!

Three loud gunshots rang out. I snatched Peaches to the ground and crawled away from the window.

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

We crawled to the bathroom and shut the door.

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

I dialed Chu’s cell, but his phone just rang.

“Oh, my God,” I mumbled. “Oh, my God… oh, my God.”

“Let me see,” Peaches said, reaching for my phone and dialing. “Nut, answer the phone! Answer the damn phone, baby!”

I shook my head from left to right and then cracked open the bathroom door. I listened to hear if they was still shooting,
but it was quiet except for Peaches redialing Nut’s number. I crawled out the bathroom and into the living room on my stomach.
I could hear a woman crying so I rose up from the floor and peeked out the window.

As soon as I looked out the window, I blanked out until I heard my own voice screaming, “Aaaiiiii!”

I can’t remember how I got downstairs, but somehow I did, and Chu’s body was lying in my arms and my tears was mixing with
his blood.

Police and ambulance sirens blared.

Peaches screamed at the top of her lungs beside me.

A woman across the parking lot clutched a little girl who was covered in blood, too.

I choked on tears and cried until I was hoarse and couldn’t even whisper his name no more.

Strange hands yanked me away.

A deep voice shouted, “You got to let him go, miss.”

M
y mind replayed all those times Chu made trips for Smurf, the packages I kept safe, the duffle bags Rob carried, the money,
the coke, and everything else. I thought about how whenever Chu came back from being out of town, his mind always seemed like
it was out of place.

“The doctors said he goin’ be all right,” Peaches said, plopping in the chair next to me in the waiting room. “You can go
home now if you want to. I know you’re tired.”

I shook my head and leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees to hold my head up. “I won’t be able to sleep,” I said,
wiping away a tear. We had already been here ten hours for surgery upon surgery.

Peaches rubbed my back, since now that Nut was going to be okay, she could breathe. But Chu was dead. Ms. Abani had to be
drugged so she could finally stop crying. Smurf was in ICU holding on to his last breaths.

I stood up, and my legs felt numb, but I wiped my face and tried to walk.

“You goin’ home?” Peaches asked. Her eyes cried for me, even though she wasn’t shedding any tears.

I shrugged. “I just gotta get outta here.”

“Call me, if you need me,” she called to my back.

I ain’t need her feeling sorry for me while she had her own pain to deal with. As I walked out of Providence Hospital, for
the first time since the day I arrived at the Brinkleys’ doorstep, I felt alone. Like no one loved me and like I had no plan.
I wiped another tear from my face and started walking down Allison Street. I walked until the sun disappeared behind the houses.
I thought about the first time Chu kissed me over Smurf’s house and the little gray kitten he tried to sneak past Nut for
me, not realizing Rob was allergic. We ended up getting rid of the poor thing anyway. I remembered the time me and Chu went
to Unifest in Anacostia Park and he dared me to get my face painted like the kids. Of course, I won and he owed me a foot
massage later. I thought about everything we did together. The long walks, the long rides, the surprise dinners, and all the
shopping. I thought about how he made me feel special even when everything else in my world felt wrong and unimportant.

I still couldn’t believe he was dead. Just like that, he was gone. And for what?

I walked to South Dakota Avenue and flagged down a cab. I couldn’t go back to the apartment. Not tonight. I ain’t wanna smell
Chu’s Bvlgari Aqua splashed on everything, and I ain’t ever wanna sleep in his bed again without him.

“Where do you want me to take you?” the cab driver asked.

I looked at my cell and then out the window. I ain’t know who to call. Rob’s phone kept going straight to voicemail. I was
trying to tell him what happened, even though he couldn’t get here right away since he was at school. I ain’t know how else
he’d find out about it.

“Just drive,” I said, drained.

“You sure you got some money on you?” he said with an attitude.

I rolled my eyes and gave him twenty dollars.

Jayson popped in my head. I ain’t talk to him for months. A surprise visit wasn’t cool, especially since I ain’t show up to
his father’s funeral. I knew if I asked, he’d let me stay there cuz as mad as he was with me, he still cared about me. But
I felt so guilty about not being there for him when he most needed it that I couldn’t just call him now. How was my loss more
important than his?

I scrolled through my phone.
Shakira.
Yes, yes. She won’t be asking no whole lot of questions. Thank God I still had her number. When I asked her if she was busy,
she said no and gave me the address to the apartment she lived in on Nineteenth Street. I told the cab driver and leaned back
in the seat.

Imagine this. Me going to Shakira Scott’s spot. She ain’t even sound surprised to hear from me.

When the cab pulled up in front of her two-story apartment building, she was sitting on the stoop with two other girls. They
all looked like hoes.

“Hey, Camille!” Shakira said, giving me a hug like we was best friends. She was dressed as wild as usual. She had on some
black spandex booty shorts with two big gold buttons and a gold halter top that tied up behind her neck. Her stiletto cheetah
sandals was wrapped up her legs.

“Hey, girl,” I said, hugging her back.

“This is Trina Boo and Wynika,” she said. The two girls looked just as freaky—long stringy tracks down their backs and tiny,
fitted bright-colored summer dresses. One looked like she was pregnant, though. “Camille been my girl since what? Elementary?”

I nodded. “Something like that.”

The two girls smiled.

“You all right, Camille?” Shakira asked, taking a step back and staring me up and down. “Come on, let’s go inside. You look
like you need to talk.”

I nodded again, near tears.

I walked up the one flight in the building that had four apartment units. Shakira had a small, near-empty one-bedroom apartment.
There was an old raggedy couch in the living room with a small crochet blanket on top, and I’m sure it was covering holes
or stains. I could smell burnt chicken grease with a hint of Ajax coming from the bathroom.

“Make yourself at home, Camille,” she said, clicking on the fan that stood in the middle of the floor. She took her sandals
off and said, “You want something to drink?”

I walked over to the couch and sat down. “Some water?”

“All I got is tap, unless you want one of these wine coolers? I got kiwi-strawberry and grape.”

“Okay, either one,” I said, knocking a roach off my pants leg. I tried to do it on the sly, but she saw me.

“Girl, I can’t help it. Wynika trifling ass and them dirty-ass kids downstairs,” she said, smiling as she went to the refrigerator.

I smiled, a bit embarrassed for her.

“I used to bomb the apartment like once a week until I decided to stop fighting them muthafuckas. You see that white shit
all along the walls? That’s boric acid. They say that shit’s supposed to work, but what the fuck you see crawling everywhere?”

“You live here by yourself?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“What you mean?”

She gave me a bottle and she opened one for herself and then she sat on a big purple beanbag that was in the corner. Shakira
crossed her legs Indian style and then swung her golden blond extensions over her shoulder.

“It hot in here to you?” she asked, fanning herself with her hand, her bangles click-clacking against each other.

Hot
wasn’t the word. It felt like Egypt in this bitch. It was stuffy, and I could feel sweat beads popping up on my nose. I pressed
the cold bottle to the side of my face and nodded.

“Yeah, I know. An AC is next.”

“How long you been living here?”

“Since the beginning of the summer.”

“For real? You doing it then.”

She looked sad, but I had my own problems. “Girl, please. This dude is paying my rent.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“I mean, I work, but he got me covered for most of it,” she said, taking a sip from her bottle. “So what’s up with you?”

I took a deep breath and blew it out. “Chu got killed today.”

“Stop fucking playing with me!!” Shakira said, jumping up and running over to sit beside me. She put her hand on my knee.
“Girl—oh, my God! Are you okay? What happened? I am so sorry, Camille!”

The tears started back up and I let them fall as I sipped my cooler.

“Girl, you don’t have to say nothing. Nothing at all. Just let it out the best way you feel like doing it.”

She got up and lit incense and then I watched her roll a J through tears. I sipped on the cooler until the bottle was empty.

“Can I have another one?”

“Sure, girl. Just grab it from the fridge.”

I walked over and grabbed one and then listened to the noise coming up from the street. Children was still running up the
block as dark as it was outside. Some was setting off firecrackers even though the Fourth of July had come and gone over a
month ago. Cars drove down the street with music blasting from the speakers. A man kept coughing like his lungs was about
to collapse. Trina Boo and Wynika’s laughter carried upstairs through all the open windows.