Damaged (16 page)

“Do you know Nut drugged me up and then raped me, right there on the floor where you standing at?! Did you already know that
shit was gonna happen?!” I shouted, crossing my arms.

Peaches looked like every ounce of her soul was drying up. I saw her shudder and then clench and unclench her fists.

“What? You wanna whip my ass now, Peaches?” I asked, rolling my neck. I took a stance, ready for anything. She would be one
stupid bitch if she thought she was gonna win. I knew where all the knives was at in that kitchen. I was ready to kill a bitch
dead.

She stared at the floor for a long time, and then she looked up. “Camille, I’m here to convince you to stay and work for Nut.”

“What?” I asked. “What you mean, you here to
convince
me?”

Peaches shook her head.

“What kind of chick are you? I swear I thought more of you than that… all this time, I had no idea.” Here I was thinking she
was in night school and in hair school, and really and truly, she out tricking. I never really paid that much attention to
her comings and goings, cuz I used to be with Chu. Maybe she had been changing her clothes over here, with Shakira and the
other two girls all this time.

“You think you better than me, Camille? You used up. Just like me,” she yelled. “Bitch, you
been
fucking for money. Don’t get it twisted!”

I took a step back.

“Yeah, you was fucking Chu for money. Fucking him for clothes, fucking him for nice dinners, fucking him for jewelry and for
whatever else he was doing for you! So what’s the big fucking difference? You need to wake up, sweetie!”

I shook my head and pulled a wine cooler out the Safeway bag and opened it. I sat down at the kitchen table. Peaches sat down
across from me and opened a wine cooler, too. I lit a cigarette and passed her one. We sat for a long time, not saying nothing.

“When I first met you, Camille, I ain’t know all this was gonna happen. You had Chu. I thought I was gonna talk Nut out of
doing this shit. I was scrounging for money, when me and him met. Nut took me off the street and told me I deserved more.
I did. Now, I got a place to stay and he give me just about anything I want. I knew he slept with women—hell, he was paying
to sleep with me at first,” she said, sipping the bottle and flicking an ash. “But, girl, I thought he was goin’ change. That
it was just goin’ be me and him now.”

“Hmmm.” I sighed. That was a day I ain’t seen yet.

“I thought he loved me and that he would change if I showed him I could be everything he ever needed. But then he started
telling me about his plans for us. At first, I tried to talk him outta doing this shit for a long time, but Nut ain’t no drug
dealer. That nigga a hustler.”

I twisted my lips, cuz I wasn’t sure what the difference was really.

“He about making money, a lot of it, without taking no whole lot of risks,” she said before taking another sip. “I thought
I wasn’t gonna have to sleep with dudes for money no more, but—”

“Nut let you fuck other dudes?”

“I ain’t proud of it. Just some regulars I had before I hooked up with him. These old white men that work on Capitol Hill.
Their little dicks don’t count,” Peaches said, laughing. “They pay me a whole lot of money. All I gotta do most of the time
is just suck their dick. That shit ain’t nothing.”

Nut was a sick dude. I shook my head. No wonder Shakira called him Lucifer behind his back. “And you okay with doing all that?”

“Whatever gonna make him happy, shit, I’m gonna do it. Nut got a lot plans for me and him. He wants to start doing real estate,
right? He gonna buy us a house first. Then he gonna start buying other houses and fixing ’em up to sell them for twice the
money he paid for ’em,” she said. “He say he even wants to make sure all his girls got houses, too.”

I guess that wasn’t a bad idea. Nut had something like a plan. “But what about your hair school?” I asked.

“Girl, I already know how to do hair. You know this. Fuck hair school. What the hell they goin’ teach me I don’t already know
by now? I don’t need no license to tell me what I can do. I was tired of paying for those classes anyway.”

She had a point.

“See, Camille, the way Nut see it, you gotta look at it like we a family. He like that kinda stuff. You know he used to hate
being by hisself when he was young.”

Peaches lit another cigarette and inhaled.

“Every chance he get to be around a lot of people, he always ready for that. That’s how he felt about Rob and Chu living with
him. They was his family.”

I had thought about that. If Nut was doing all this and that, why had he been sharing an apartment with Rob and Chu? Clearly,
it wasn’t about the money. Rob and Chu was starting to make some real cake, and Nut ain’t seem like he was hard up, either.

“But now Rob away at school and Chu… well, it’s just me and him now at the house. He keep talking about how he want to buy
this little shitty-ass building so he can rent out all four of these apartments.”

“Oh, for real?”

“Yeah, it’s a part of his plan. It’s gonna be his first rental property.”

“Wow.” I couldn’t even fake. I was stunned.

“And then he gonna try to get everybody who work for him their own house eventually. But we all gotta work together first.
Everybody gotta do their part and put money in the pot.”

My own house?
I never thought I’d have my own apartment, let alone my own house. But even Shakira had one. I was really starting to think
about it. How different could it be from what I was doing with Mr. Big?

“If that’s what he gonna do, then… I guess it’s not that bad.”

Peaches smiled. “I ain’t want you to be on the streets by yourself, girl. Struggling. I know you ain’t got nobody. Shit, you
know I been there. My mother’s husband, man, don’t even get me started,” she said, shaking her head and blowing a puff of
smoke in the air. I knew she was thinking about her pedophile stepfather. “We’re a family now. Me, you, Nut, and the other
girls. Okay?”

I smoked my own cigarette, until it was a nub. I dug in the glass dish in the center of the table and got out the keys to
the empty apartment across the hall. Hell, I could do this. Easy peasy.

N
ut gave me six hundred dollars to get a bed and some other furniture from the thrift store on South Dakota Avenue. Shakira
rode with Trina Boo, and I rode with Peaches to pick it up. Everything was so broke down—a missing knob here or there, a cracked
shelf, or a splintered door—but the dresser and the chair for the living room was all mine, and the beat-up mattress would
just have to do.

Trina Boo’s voice sounded so high pitched, like Dino from
The Flintstones
. She was getting on my nerves. Every time she opened her mouth, she sounded like she was saying, “Rile! Rile! Rile!” I just
wanted her to shut up.

“You should get this nightstand and maybe this little thingamajig,” she said holding up a crazy-looking mirror decoration.

“Ah, no, thank you,” I said. “Just the basics.”

“Go to National Wholesale Liquidators for your sheets, towels, and stuff like that. They real cheap,” Peaches said.

It felt strange to be out with all three of them. Shakira and Trina Boo looked like they just came back from a club, in their
loud outfits. With their long hair extensions and accessories, no one would ever believe they was helping me move into my
apartment. Peaches wasn’t too far behind in her fitted slim-leg jeans and baby T. Why did she have to wear stilettos just
to go shopping for furniture? I shook my head, cuz I could feel the eyes on us as soon as we walked into the store.

We bought as much as we could with the six hundred dollars and headed back home. The rest of the stuff I’d need I’d have to
buy later after I made some money for Nut.

We was cleaning the apartment when Wynika came across the hall with Ra-Ra and Meko.

“Stop running, you two! I swear to God, I’m gonna whip your little asses,” Wynika yelled as her kids ran back to the bedroom
where Peaches and Trina Boo was cleaning up. They ran to the bathroom and then back out the front door to their apartment.
“Them little badass kids get on my fucking nerves!”

I shook my head and went back to wiping the windows off. Shakira was sweeping the living room. I still couldn’t believe wasn’t
nobody in here older than nineteen and they all had their own place. Now I had mine, too.

“Girl, you better set some bombs off before you get all comfortable. Them goddamn roaches ain’t nothing to play with, and
they ain’t doing nothing but just hiding in the cut,” Wynika said, laughing.

“Yeah, we bought some. But I think we should
all
do it at the same time,” I said, spraying more Windex. “So, I got some for you, too.”

“Bitch, what you tryna say?” Wynika said. I could tell she was just kidding, so I ain’t look back at her. “Whatever. Anyway,
Miss Thing. What name you goin’ go by?”

“What you talking about?” I asked, turning around.

“What name you goin’ use? Cuz
Camille
ain’t goin’ cut it,” Wynika said, laughing. “Bitch, you ain’t all innocent.”

Shakira laughed. “Like my name KiKi on the streets. Peaches, well, she Peaches, and Trina Boo, that’s enough already.”

“Yeah, and I’m Patience,” Wynika said in her sexy voice.

I cracked up laughing. “Patience?”

“What’s so damn funny?” Wynika asked, as if she ain’t get the joke.

I just shook my head—if she ain’t know by now, then she’d never know. Shakira was giggling, too.

“What y’all laughing at?” Trina Boo asked in her squeaky voice, coming in the living room. She was so skinny, like those models
where you could see their spines and ribs. But she had a big butt that ain’t even seem like it was supposed to be there. She
had a big chest, too, but her butt made a lot of dudes stop every time we was out.

“Wynika’s street name,” Shakira said, taking off her yellow plastic gloves and leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Oh, I know. That shit is funny as hell,” Trina Boo said.

“Bitch, you know you ain’t got no damn patience,” Peaches chimed in. “Them kids running all through this building like they
at a zoo.”

“Do you see me busting a sweat about it?” Wynika asked. “See, patient. Just like a virgin.”

We burst out laughing.

“Bitch, you wish,” Trina Boo said.

“Anyway,” Wynika cut in. “Like I was saying, Camille, what name you goin’ use?”

I thought about it, cuz she was right.
Camille
just wasn’t gonna cut it. Plus, I ain’t want people knowing my real name. I can be somebody I’m not with a different name.
Like I’m acting. That’s what I was gonna be doing anyway. I did it before.

“Nectar,” I said.

“Damn, bitch,” Wynika said. “That shit is hot!”

“Okay,” Peaches said, nodding. “You can definitely pay the bills with that name.”

I smiled.

“Nectar?” Shakira asked, confused. “I don’t get it.”

“You don’t know what
nectar
mean? You stupid,” Wynika said.

“Fuck you!” Shakira shouted. “No, I don’t know what the shit mean.”

“It’s like fruit juice, or something like that,” Peaches said.

“Why not just say Juicy then?” Trina Boo asked, smiling like she had invented the word.

“Everybody use that name. Think out the box, ladies, damn,” Wynika said, rolling her eyes.

“She’s right. Nectar
is
sexy!” Peaches said.

“Where you get that shit from?” Shakira asked.

“It just came to me,” I said, and then I turned back to wipe the windows.

“Well, Nectar it is,” Shakira said.

But as I stared out the window at the cars speeding up the one-way street, I knew it couldn’t be that simple.

L
ater that night, Nut came by to see the apartment. He was using his cane, but I ain’t think he still needed it, cuz he wasn’t
limping that much. He looked around and ain’t say nothing but, “All you really needed was a bed.”

I rolled my eyes and leaned up against the counter in the kitchen. He smirked and then walked over to stand in front of me.
I could feel his breath on my face. Nut stared straight into my eyes, like he was waiting for me to look away, but I ain’t
do it. I wanted him to see Chu in me.

He laughed and then palmed my butt with his free hand. I twisted away from him a bit. He grinned and then pulled me closer
to him. “Friday payday. I want you to go out with the girls. Peaches will show you what’s up,” he said just as he leaned in
to kiss me. “Nectar, right? That’s what we calling you now, right?”

It took everything in me not to wipe my mouth off with the back of my hand. I rolled my eyes and looked past him.

“You mean to tell me you still got a little attitude? After all I just did for you? Come on now, Camille,” he said, leaning
against the refrigerator. He held my chin with his finger and thumb and turned it toward him. “What a nigga gotta do? I’m
trying to do you a favor. You do wanna do this, right?”

How could I say no when my only other choice was really no choice at all?

I crossed my arms over my chest and nodded.

“I said I’m goin’ get you a house. Probably by next summer. Then you ain’t gonna have to do it no more. This shit we doing,
shit, we can make a lot of money. Before you know it, you’ll be straight. Feel me?”

I bit my lip as I listened. My arms still tight across my body.

“I’m setting up savings accounts for all of y’all and I’m goin’ pay all your bills. Rent, electric, gas, water. I bet you
don’t even know how to write a check or how to get a money order yet, do you?”

I shook my head. That wasn’t something I ever had to worry about before. I couldn’t tell you the first thing about a bank
account, either. I was scared to even think about asking somebody how to do anything official. They was probably gonna look
at me like I was stupid or wonder why I was asking.

“See,” Nut said, rubbing my cheek with his hand. “You need me, shawty.”

I nodded. Nut was right.

FRIDAY

S
hakira’s closet was filled with all kinds of hooker gear. Coochie-cutter spandex shorts, backless minidresses, and bra shirts.
I let her pick me out a white, skin-tight dress with sparkling glitter that came just below my panty line.