Damaged Love (Bound Series Book 2) (12 page)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Forgiveness

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”

~Eleanor Roosevelt

We go home and have the most incredible lovemaking session either of us has ever had. Afterward, I am laying on Garrett’s chest, and he has fallen asleep. He always makes me feel so loved. I enjoy nothing more than lying in his arm and thinking about how he took me so loving but so passionately at the same time. He has a way that makes me feel cherished. I know I am.

While I am having delicious thoughts of our lovemaking and all the things he did to me, my damn phone starts ringing and it doesn’t stop. I don’t want it to wake Garrett, so I grab it from the nightstand and see it’s the police station calling.

“Hello?”

“Is this Kayla Ashby?”

“Yes.”

“This is officer Jernigan’s partner, Tracey Mathews, and he has been trying to reach you all morning. There’s something you need to know. Please hold.”

“Hello, Kayla?”

“Yes, Rodney, what’s going on?”

“Seth committed suicide early this morning—around one.”

“What? Seth is dead?”

“Yes, he was found by Millie. He was hanging in the pool house by some purple ropes.”

“Okay, why are you telling me? I wasn’t there. I was at the club. You know that.”

“Millie is saying she will kill you for this because it’s your fault. Kayla, Seth is your father.

“Don’t you dare say that vile man is my father?  Yes we share the same DNA but that is all, he is nothing to me!”

“Kayla, I am not trying to make you have feelings for him. But the truth of the matter is Seth was your father. And as his next of kin we had no choice but to notify you. Millie is here screaming it’s all your fault

“How is it my fault? I haven’t been there in, well, fuck, since I left. I haven’t stepped foot back in that house. So explain to me how this is my concern.”

“Well, there was a letter addressed to you, and I’ll bring you a copy so you can read it.”

“His suicide note was written to me?”

“For the most part, but I’ll explain more in an hour or so. I’m going to pick up Patrice because you’ll need her shoulder when you read this.”

“Why? I hated the guy. He never stopped the twins from raping me and when he was told about the abuse he just cut me a fat check to make me disappear. So, why the fuck would I care what he has to say?” I can’t help but think of the last thing I said to him. I had told him that he was dead to me. I walk out of the room so not to wake Garrett. “Millie has said that she will kill you for this because it was your fault.”

“Kayla sweetie, I agree, but you need to read the note.”

“Okay, make it two hours, and you have a deal.”

“Okay, two hours and we’ll be there.”

I walk back into the bedroom. Oh, God, what the hell have I done? I wished him dead, and now he was.

“Garrett honey, you have to wake up.” I shove him.

“What? Is everything okay?”

“No, Seth has committed suicide.”

“Kayla, this is not funny.”

“Do you see me fucking laughing? Please get up. I need you to go with me.”

“Go where?” He asks, throwing on a pair of jeans.

“Apparently there’s a suicide note left for me. I wished him dead. Is this my fault?”

“No Kayla, only the weak kill themselves. This is not your fault. Now go get dressed, and I’ll wake everyone.”

I sit on the bed with my head in my hands. I can’t believe he did this. Why would he kill himself and leave a note for me? My words were harsh.

“I killed my own father,” I say sobbing then I realize I should say a prayer.

God our Father,

Your power brings us to birth, your providence guides our lives, and by your command we return to dust.

Lord, those who die still live in your presence, their lives change but do not end. I pray in hope for my family, relatives, and friends, and for all the dead known to you alone.

In company with Christ, Who died and now lives, may they rejoice in your kingdom, where all our tears are wiped away. Unite us together again in one family, to sing your praise forever and ever.

Amen.

I am crying over a man who knew I was being hurt. My thoughts go back to when I was younger. I do remember one occasion that I thought Seth was the coolest person ever.

I had just turned sixteen years old. I wanted to learn to drive. So I had went and asked Millie and of course she was too busy. She was planning some event for the Mayor’s Ball or something like that. So I was walking back into the living room and Seth had asked me if I was okay?

“What difference does it make? I will be the only sixteen year old who doesn’t know how to drive,” I mumbled.

“You don’t know how to drive? Kayla come on I will teach you.” He grabs his keys and we go out to his blue B.M.W. He throws me the keys and says “Come on. I will teach you.”

I am so excited that I scream and jump up and down.

I get in the car, and look over at him, because I have no clue what I am doing. He goes over a few rules, about checking my mirrors and adjusting my seat. He tells me to buckle my seat belt, so I do as I am told.

“Next you are going to stick the key in the ignition and turn the key.”

I do as I am told, and the engine comes to life.

“Place your foot on the brake and then put the car into reverse. Slowly back out of the driveway and keep your hands in a ten and two position.”

I back out of the driveway, and then he tells me to put the car in the drive position.

Again I do as I am told. Before long I am driving down the road. He tells me to make a right, and I do. I see the interstate up ahead, and I act like it is not a big thing. Before long I am driving down the coast of Seattle. We have the top off the car and we are having a good time. No talking, just listening to the radio and enjoying the drive. We stay gone for most of the day. He even buys me lunch that day. We had seafood at some little off the wall place on the water.

It doesn’t take long and my room is buzzing with people. I am numb, and I don’t even hear them talking to me. I know VI is getting me dressed. I don’t even care that Wyatt is in here while I am changing. She pulls out some jeans and a black long sleeved shirt. She puts some mascara on my eyes, and a little blush because she says I am pale.

I get up, but I am on automatic. I don’t know anything that is going on. I am being pulled into the vehicle, next thing I know we are at the last place I’d ever come to again.

I am about to have a nervous breakdown.

I feel Patrice grab my hand and walk with me.

We are greeted by cops.

The officer says, “I’m sorry, but this is for family only.”

Patrice says, “This is his daughter.”

The cop then asks for Rodney.

Rodney gives a nod, and I am taken back to the pool house.

All of a sudden old images of my rape comes flooding back.

“Time to pay the piper, sweetheart.” His words circled the air and sent shivers up my arm, making me nauseous.

“Please don’t.” I couldn’t get those words out of my mouth. It seemed like the cat caught my tongue.

Edwin then lit up a cigarette and puffed away, making smoke circles.

Gradually, I crawled to my knees and gathered all of my stuff. And before I knew it...

He clunked me in the back of my head with his fist. I tumbled over and peered at the water.

Like a caveman, he dragged me to the pool house. As soon as I was aware of my surroundings, I tried to fight him, but he was too strong. I couldn’t do anything but dig my nails into him and claw at his eyes. He forced himself on top of me and burned my chest with his lit cigarette.

The burning tobacco cuts into my breast and created marks.

Every time I fought him, more marks showed.

“Stupid ass cunt.” He slapped me so hard that I thought my teeth and eyeballs were going to pop out of my damn head. He continued to drag me on the red tile floors kicking and screaming, I tugged on my hair to release from his hold, but I lost momentum and dark red liquid flowed over my back, matching the tile on the floor.

I whimpered and cried. Hell, I even screamed the last time. He tossed me into the game room of the pool-house like I was yesterday’s trash.

My limp body rolled. I laid on my back, stunned and mortified to what would happen next.

Edwin snapped my hair toward him and ripped it as he lifted me up. I felt like the roots were coming out of my head.

“Scream bitch, no one will help your ugly ass.” He sneered.

“Stop it!” I stomped on his right foot.

“Ow, you fuckin bitch. You’ll pay for that.” His left hand smacked as his knuckles dented my cheeks. As blood seeps from the corner of my mouth, he then slams me into the wall. His hands wrapped around my throat. “Shut your fucking trap, you cock teaser.”

“Edwin, enough!” Elijah’s booming voice echoes through the hall.

“Please, Elijah,” I shouted. “Help!”

Elijah strolled up to me, soothes my cheeks and grabs a hold of me.

“Edwin, get the rope cuffs,” he bluntly said.

“Why do I have to get the damn cuffs?” Edwin asked as he swayed.

“Because I said so,” Elijah’s face was full of malice. “Now.”

Edwin snagged a purple rope that had hoops at either end from one of the drawers where their father kept his sex toys.

“Please,” I shouted and collapsed in Elijah’s arms.

“Go ahead and scream bitch, we love it when you fight us,” Edwin said as he grits his teeth. “Just so you know the more you scream... the harder things will be for you.” His voice vibrates through his throat.

I can feel the tension from here, I’m about to have a nervous breakdown. I grab my chest and start breathing heavily.

“I can’t do this. I can’t be here.”

“Kay, we are all here with you”. Wyatt says

“You don’t fucking understand I scream. I can’t do this. I can’t walk into the pool house.”

“Kayla, I want you to look at me.” Patrice stops us and she grabs my face. “You are not that little girl, you are a grown woman, and you can do this.”

“I can’t, Please don’t make me go in there. I know they will be there and they will hurt me.”

With her hands on my face she says “Kayla, remember you are a survivor you are not a victim. You left. And you know that Edwin is dead and Seth is dead too. Come on grab your big girl panties and let’s go.”

“I am a survivor I mumble.”

“Good now, come on let’s go because if you don’t Millie wins. She already thinks this is your fault. Don’t give her more reason to doubt you.”

“She will not win. I will not let her.”

I start to run out but Patrice takes my hand. “It will be okay, just breath.”

“I can’t do this. I can’t be here.”

“Yes, you can. You need to face this.”

“Will you stay with me the entire time?”

“Yes, I will. I’ll be right here the whole time, but we have to do this.”

“Okay, just hold my hand.”

“I will baby, I promise.”

We get to the pool house and nothing has changed. The smell of the chlorine is still very strong. I look over and see him hanging in the hallway. I hear the other cop say that he suffered and it wasn’t a quick death. I overheard that he choked to death.

I can see where the chair was just out of his reach.

The medical examiner said he would have heard the blood pounding in his ears as his heart beats harder—the adrenaline surges through his body. The thoughts swimming through his head would have been guilt, anguish, and pain until he faded into oblivion. The smell is horrid. Seth pissed and shit on himself.

I look over at his neck, and it is stretched and deformed. His tongue is black and protruding and his legs and feet are swollen from the blood pooling at the lowest point causing his legs and feet to look horribly bruised.

I gasp because I was not expecting this. I thought they would have him down and covered.

Rodney walks over and hands me an envelope.

I turn away and open the envelope, and I see a neatly written letter.

To whomever finds this:

My life was not taken by anyone else’s hand

Nor did it have to end, but the voices in my head

The visions of my daughter’s crying eyes and sorrowful cries because of my own boys

Not in normal teases but in torture of a sexual nature. I can’t stand the nightmares that I barely raised.

What has been done will scar her for life

But no one sees the pain she masks

Her innocence in tatters.

And I didn’t do anything to help her