Damaged Love (Bound Series Book 2) (7 page)

I nod my head yes.

“I was raised dirt poor. My dad was lower class and did not have a pot to piss in. He was a good man when he was not in a chemically induced state. He was much like you when I first met you, I swore that you looked just like him. My father had a lot of problems. I was told that he was a manic depressant and was bipolar. But he also had a drug problem. His drug of choice was Meth or some street terms that you would know are crank, chalk or speed. When he was high, he was meaner than a rattlesnake. He would say hateful things. I remember one night he was so messed up that he made me undress and stand in the kitchen on a bed of rice, because he thought I had lied about where my mom was.”

“You see my mom passed away shortly after I was born. Everyone says that she died from complications of child birth. I have no memories of her at all. I stayed with my grandmother the majority of the time. She did her best but she was aging and when she passed I had no choice but to live with him. When I was a teenager and had my fill of the verbal abuse, I left. I did not have two wooden nickels to rub together, so I knew I would not get far without an education and money. So what kind of job can a woman find with no experience? I took the first job I could get. I am not proud of it. I was a stripper. My stage name was Phoenix. I made good money and before long I had an apartment. For the first time in my life I was truly living. I was enrolled in college and I was doing really well in school. I was one semester away from getting my degree in Psychology.”

“I went into work one Friday evening and a friend of mine named, Rayna, said that there was a party and we needed to go. They were paying top dollar for a couple of girls to dance for some frat guys. So I agreed and went to the frat house. It was loud and the guys were already drinking heavily. Of course I didn’t care that they were drinking, I was there to make money and leave. After our dance was over, I went up to the bar area and asked for a Sprite. There was no alcohol in the drink at all. Or at least there was not supposed to be. But now that I think about it, there was most likely vodka in the cup. It’s clear and has no smell. So I drank half of it and had to go the restroom. I was only there for maybe a minute and I had asked Rayna to watch my drink. When I came back she was talking to Seth, I had seen him around campus before, but I never talked to him, so we all talked for a few minutes and everything was going good. He seemed so nice. He was good looking. I had noticed he had a white ring around his ring finger. I even asked him if his Wifey had let him off the ball and chain tonight. He of course laughed and said something like that.”

“I excused myself because I needed some air as the room was starting to spin. I thought it was just because there was so many people and the music was really loud. So I walked outside with no direction in mind. I was just wandering and I spotted the water at the back. I have always been mesmerized by water at night. I started feeling really tired, so I took off my jacket and sat down on it not thinking I would fall asleep. But I did. I remember hearing voices, I knew there were several people around. I kept trying to open my eyes but it was like they were glued shut. But all of a sudden there was someone on top of me. His voice was so familiar. I had just heard it. I remember him saying you are not the one I was planning on but you will work.”

“He held me down and had his hand over my mouth. I remember biting his hand. That did not even phase him. He kept telling me what a lucky woman I was because he could have any woman he wanted. When he finally finished, he got up and walked away. I laid there for a few minutes because I was embarrassed. When I did leave, I went back to my apartment, took a scalding hot shower, and then packed up all my stuff and left. I got in my car and headed to Texas, and I’ve lived there ever since. I had all my schooling transferred to Baylor College and finished there. I got my degree in Psychology. I also have a practice in Birmingham and that is where I met you.”

“When you were born I did not even name you so you were given a name by a nurse. I do have your hospital bracelet that I had on and it said baby girl as your name. I am so sorry that you had a hard and rough life. Believe me if I could have traded places with you, I would in a minute. I hope you can forgive me one day.”

Patrice begins to get up, but I stop her.

“I’m sorry I scared you. Can you ever forgive me Mom?”

“Oh honey, there is nothing to forgive.”

We are both crying. And she whispers I love you.

“I love you too, mom. Now can we please go home? I am sure Garrett is going out of his mind. Oh, how did you know where I was?”

“I followed you. I knew you would not come right up, and I was right. What made you come to this church?”

“I don’t know. I heard the soothing music, and I just love it here.”

“Me too dear. Me too.”

CHAPTER NINE

Dealing with Life

“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.”

~Unknown

It has been two long weeks since we got the DNA test back. Patrice is my mother, and we are working on our relationship. It is weird, but we are both trying.

Seth tried calling my cell when he got his copy of the DNA test. I didn’t even bother answering it. I don’t want to hear a word that prick has to say. As far as I am concerned, he can go to the seventh circle of hell and burn to death, for all I care.

Garrett and I were in bed later that night and he was holding me after a hot session of love making. We were talking while I am laying on his chest, and he rubs my back

“So how do you feel now that everything is now out in the open?”

“I am glad Patrice is my mom, but it still sucks ass that the prick is my dad. But I don’t want to think about him after the mind blowing sex. I just know as long as I have you I will make it through anything.”

“You will never lose me. I will be here forever.”

“I love you Garrett.”

“I love you too Kayla.”

We fall asleep in each other’s arms, but sometime later I wake up screaming.

“Kay honey, are you okay?”

“Don’t touch me. Get away.”

“Kayla, it’s me Garrett.”

“Please don’t hurt me. I am begging you.”

“Please don’t push me away. I will not hurt you Kayla. Come talk to me. What is going on? Was it a nightmare?”

I look up and notice I am at home and not back at the pool house. I am crying and shaking. I get up and run to the bathroom and slam the door shut and lock it. Seconds later I hear Garrett.

“Kay, please talk to me. What is going on?”

I ignore him and turn on the hot shower and I strip.

I stand in the shower and I cry. I have not had a nightmare in a long time, but this one was bad. I scrub my body trying my best to get their scent off me. I know in my head it was only a harsh nightmare but my body is telling me it was real. I hate them.

I sit on the bench and cry until the water turns cold, and even then I still sit and cry.

I finally turn off the water and look at myself in the mirror. I look at the bright red scars. I run my fingers along the jagged edges. The scars are a constant reminder of my past. I grab the fluffy robe and head to the door. I open it and see the whole family in my room.

I don’t even get out of the room, and I am being bombarded with questions.

I shake my head at VI, and she knows to get everyone out.

It’s not long before it’s just VI and I. She sits there waiting on me to say something first.

“This one was really bad,” I whisper.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

“Not really. I just want to sit here. Will you brush my hair like you used to when we were younger? It was always so calming.”

“Absolutely, give me the brush and go sit at the vanity.”

“Will you tell me about you and Wyatt? Tell me something to get my mind off the nightmare.”

“Hmmm, what to tell. He is this super romantic guy. He holds me at night like he is afraid I will not be there in the morning. But sometimes he will say her name.”

“Whose name?”

“Ariel. You know, his wildflower.”

“What does he say?”

“Nothing really, but I can tell he really loved her. She did a number on him. She left and never looked back. I met her once back in college. She was nice and she was gorgeous. He has a picture of her in his wallet. It’s old and bent, but it’s still there. Before you go all saintly on me, he showed me her one night. He was wasted.  I had to go to the club and pick him up. Girl he was shit faced.”

“When was this? And why didn’t I know about it?”

“Well it was as soon as he was released from the hospital. You were still in the coma, and he went to the club and got drunk. When I walked in the door, the place was destroyed. He had taken a baseball bat and destroyed his office. He was so upset.”

“Why? It was not his fault. It was mine.”

“Kay, don’t you know those men love you. Both Garrett and Wyatt love you more than all the words in all the books in the world.”

“Wow that’s a lot of love. I think I hurt Garrett’s feelings tonight though. I screamed for him not to touch me. And then I got up and ran to the bathroom and locked him out.”

“Oh Kay, he understands.”

“He has understood a lot here lately and I can’t keep asking him to understand. You should have seen his face when I had the needle in my hand and he tackled me. VI, he was scared shitless.”

“Speaking of that night, what the fuck were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t. Plain and simple. I was not thinking about anything or anyone. I heard that message and my heart stopped and I just wanted to numb the pain. That was the only way I knew how to do it.”

“So this Damon fellow, have you talked to him?”

“No, I have not. I did send him a message telling him that I was okay. He has messaged me several times checking on me but I have not responded to any of them. I am thankful that he called but I am mad as hell at him. He had no right.”

“No Kay, he did not, but your family is glad he did. You should have seen Garrett when he got the call. He was scared that Rodney wouldn’t make it in time. He didn’t give a Rodney a chance to tell him that he could not go. He was out the door and getting in Rodney’s car.”

“That night was a nightmare and I owe you an apology.”

“Me? Why do you owe me an apology? Kay, you are grown. No-one can make decisions for you. Do I approve? Hell no, but do I think you owe me an apology? No ma’am I don’t. I know things have been difficult for you.”

“That is an understatement.”

“Come on lets go tell the family that you are okay, so they can quit pacing. I can hear them from here.”

“Do I have to go down there? I really made an ass of myself.”

“Yes, you have to, but luckily for you, we all love your ass, so you will be fine. So get dressed and let’s go have some coffee, since the whole house is wide awake at freakin four am. Maybe we can get lucky and there is breakfast made.”

“I will be down in a few. Let me get dressed.”

“Okay gutterslut, love your face.”

“Love your face more.”

“I doubt that, but I will let you think you won.”

Soon I am alone with my thoughts. I walk over to my double French doors that lead to my custom patio. I open the doors and there is a subtle breeze. I walk out and look over the city. The Seattle skyline never looked better. To the left of me is the ever impressive Seattle Space Needle. In the distance I can see the snow-capped mountains of Mt. Rainier. I am close enough to the water that I can watch the ferries pass. Down below me is Pike Place market, where crowds gather to watch the fisherman throw salmon.

Seattle is a posh mosh of head-spinning whirlwind of just everything you can ever want. To the right of me, I see the twinkling lights of downtown. I can see the big Ferris wheel. I look over my patio and I see the large red oak chairs and the massive table tucked in the corner I have my own piece of heaven, I have my atrium. I have everything from my favorite white roses that have pink edges to my butterfly plants that bring in butterflies. I have a Peperomia which adds a splash of color. I have a Chinese Ever-green that has shades of silver and gray and several varieties of Ivy. I have a Dracaena which looks like a cornstalk. I have several snake plants, spider plants, a Boston fern that is virtually indestructible. I even have a Crown of Thorns plant, and in the center I have a stone water feature. I had it custom built. It is in the shape of a cross and the water flows up the cross instead of down. I have a stone pathway leading back to the French Double doors. I look over and I see Garrett staring at me.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes I am fine. I’m sorry. I thought you were Elijah. I was having a very bad nightmare.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No I don’t. Garrett, are you sure you want to be with me? I’m toxic. I don’t want to hold you back from someone who could be better than me.”

“There is no one who could ever be better than you. I mean it when I say you are the one I want.”

I run to him and start crying in his shoulder. “I just don’t want you to have to settle.”

“There is no settling. I promise. I wouldn’t have been settling with anyone else.”

“I’m tired. Can you please lay with me until I fall asleep?”

“Of course. “

We get back into the bed and it doesn’t take long for us to fall asleep.

***

“Seth you have been pacing this house for two weeks. What in the hell is going on?”

“What did you ask Millie? I am sorry, my mind is elsewhere right now.”

“Yeah, no shit. You have not even said five words to me since the funeral. And thank you for causing a scene at Edwin’s funeral. How did Jason even find out? Now he is threatening me with lawsuits because I kept the boys from him.”

“Millie, I don’t know how he found out, but you did tell a room full of people your sad story at the hospital.”

“I bet it was the little gold digging bitch Kayla.”

“Don’t you dare call her that? You have caused her enough shit. Leave her alone.”

“Wow Seth, when did you start caring for the little trollop?”

I walk over to Millie, and got in her face and tell her to back the fuck off. “Leave her alone. She is none of your concern.”

“Oh bull shit Seth, she killed my son. Don’t tell me that she is not my concern. All this time you have raised Edwin and Elijah as your kids, and you are taking her side. Have you lost your mind?”

“Millie I am not going to have this conversation with you. I am warning you, if you don’t back off, you will regret it.”

“Is that a threat Seth? As I told that whore in the hospital, I don’t deal well with threats.”

I reach over and slap her across the face, “I told you to shut the fuck up. Drop your hatred for Kayla now. I will not have this conversation again.”

She grabs her cheek and gets to the door. “Seth I have covered your ass for years and you can’t even do one thing for me. That is okay. I got you.”

She slams the door and the windows rattle.

I try to call Kayla several times. I need to talk to her. I need her to know how sorry I am. Of course, no answer.

I leave her a message. Telling her it’s urgent. I try Patrice.

“This is Dr. Doyle, how can I help you?”

“Patrice, this is Seth, Please don’t hang up. I need to talk to Kayla.”

“Good luck with that Seth. She wants nothing to do with you. You raised her all these years, and you let those monsters rape her. They may not be yours by blood, but they are just like you.”

All of a sudden the line goes dead.