Damaged Love (Bound Series Book 2) (6 page)

CHAPTER EIGHT

The Longest Ride

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.”

~Anne Frank

“Drop the needle Kayla,” Rodney and Garrett are screaming at me.

“Get out of my fucking room, and who are you to tell me what the hell to do? You are not my daddy. My dad is a man who raped my mother, and the last I checked Rodney, you are not Seth Stanton.”

“Kayla honey, please drop the needle. I love you baby. Please look at me. We can get through this.”

I glare at Garrett and tell him to leave me alone, that he has nothing to do with this.

“Baby, please put down the dope and let me have it. You can take your anger out on me. Please don’t lose your sobriety.”

“What does it matter to you? You are not the one who it will affect.”

In the blink of an eye I am being tackled and the dope knocked out of my hand.

“Get off me you ape! I can’t breathe.”

“It was the only choice I had. You can be pissed at me all you want, but I will not apologize. I told you I would protect you. Kayla, god damn it, why are you so hard headed? You have a family. Let us help you, but we can’t do that unless you talk to us. We are not mind readers. Now I will get off you, but you are going to get your ass in the damn truck and we’ll talk about this when we are all home. Call it an intervention or whatever you want, but I will not stand by and let you fuck up your life.”

“I am not four Garrett. You can’t make me get in the vehicle. Last time I checked, I was an adult. I am very capable of making up my own mind.”

“Woman, I will not tell you again to get up and go get in the truck. If you don’t I will go caveman and throw you over my shoulder and toss your ass in the truck. Now if you think I am playing, try me.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Okay, your choice.” Garrett said

And before I can stop him he has me up and over his shoulder. My ass is in the air. I am beating him on his lower back, screaming for him to put me down.

Next thing I know I feel a slap on my ass and I scream. Not because it hurts but because I was shocked he did it.

“If you want to act like a child, I will treat you like a child. Children get their asses spanked when they are not listening so you have two choices, you can stop hitting me and act like the grown woman that you claim to be, or you can continue to act like a child. If you choose option two, then I will stop what I am doing and bend you over my knee and spank your ass.”

As mad as I am at him I can’t help but laugh at him.

“Put me down, please Garrett. I will be a good girl for now, but just know I am not happy with you.”

“I know this and I can respect that, but you left me no choice.”

“There is no need to be a smart ass Garrett. I said I would do as I am told for now. Don’t think I will always be this obedient because it will be a cold day in hell. But for now I will do as you ask.”

I get in his face, and point at him, “I will tell you this Garrett, I love you but I have issues, I am not perfect, and occasionally I will fuck up. So if you want to be with me you will need to know that I will slip. I have relapsed several times, and if you can’t handle that, then we can call it quits now before either one of us hurts the other.”

“Babe, I know you are not perfect. Hell we all have flaws, but we need to lean on each other when times are rocky. I am here, let me help you. I promise I am strong enough to help.”

I glance around the room, and I see Rodney bagging up the dope and rigs and shaking his head.

“Kayla, do you know how worried your mom is about you?” Rodney asks.

I glare at him because I don’t know if I will ever call her Mom. Me being a smart ass, I say “Patrice. It’s Patrice. I can’t call her mom.”

“Just give her a chance. You know this is not just hard on you Kayla. She did what she thought was the best at the time. I know that she has been haunted as well. So when you are in your self-destruction phase, remember that you do have a mom that loves you. She may not have raised you, but I am sure giving you up was the hardest choice she ever made. So walk a mile in her shoes, and quit giving her shit.”

“Rodney, you have no idea the hell I have lived. I was tortured and raped for years, and my biological father knew about it.”

“Yes Kayla, I do have an idea. You need to remember I am a cop. I have seen some really bad shit over the years. And each time there is a victim, my heart breaks a little bit more. I am sorry for that but your mom, yes I said your mom, is hurting too. She just relived her rape and now she has a constant reminder. Guess who is her reminder? You are her reminder. So grab your big girl panties and stop being a brat because the pity train has derailed at the corner of it’s time to Suck it up Street and Move on Avenue, and then crashed head into We all have problems Place and Time to get the hell over it Boulevard. Hell Kayla I have an aunt, her name is Sheila, and guess what?  She is blind and paralyzed and she doesn’t have a pity party. She lives in the dark every damn day and she is scared of the dark. And what are you doing? You’re sitting here crying because you don’t like your birth parents. Well wake up sweetheart. You don’t get to choose your damn parents. No one likes their damn parents. Hell I am sure Garrett didn’t like his either, but you don’t hear him crying. So I am going to say this one-time and one-time only, you want me to treat you like you’re an adult, then you damn sure better act your age and not you’re fucking shoe size”

I look at both men in this room and I know that they are speaking the truth. Hell Rodney doesn’t even know me and he is speaking the truth. So I walk over and grab my purse and walk out the door.

A few seconds later I hear the footsteps of them behind me.

“Garrett, you take Kayla’s truck back and she can ride with me.

“No I can drive myself. I am not a child.”

“Kayla, I am not asking. I can be an ass and take you to jail. So ride with me voluntarily or you ride in the back with cuffs on.”

I look at him stunned. “Are you serious Rodney? You would arrest me?”

“I am very serious Kayla. You could be charged with a controlled substance and drug paraphernalia, which can result in one year in prison and up to a five thousand dollar fine. Do you really want to take that chance and see if I will arrest you? Because I promise I will have no problems arresting you.”

“First off Rodney, you guys kicked in my door. Did you have probable cause? A warrant? No, I never saw a warrant. You can’t use the drugs as evidence because guess what, you have violated my 4th amendment rights.”

The look of shock is written all over his face.

“Oh didn’t you know? I was pre law before I changed majors and became an architect. So if you are going to spit the law at me, I guess your ass better make sure that you are on the right side of it. I do believe what you guys did was an unlawful entry and guess what, you can’t do jack shit, but just for shits and giggles I will go with you, not because you are making me, but because I am not in the mood to argue with you any longer.”

“Babe, I will see you at the house.”

“Okay, see you there. I love you.”

“I love you too babe, and please listen to him. He’s only trying to help you. He loves your mom, or Patrice as you are calling her. Think about her during all this. I am sure it’s twice as hard on her.”

He leans down and kisses me on the forehead.

“Come on Kayla, we need to talk.” Rodney states.

“Okay, so what do you want to talk about Rodney?”

“Well first off, I think you owe Patrice an apology. She was scared shitless. She had went into your room and you were gone. She was coming down the stairs panicking when Garrett got the call from your friend Damon.”

“He’s not my friend. More like a frenemy.”

“Anyway, whatever he is, his phone call most likely saved Seth’s ass because she was sure that someone had taken you.”

“Rodney, I know you are only looking out for Patrice, but I really don’t owe anyone anything.” I cross my hands over chest and let out a loud breath.

“I’m sorry that you feel that way. Because regardless what you think, Patrice loves you and she is hurting just as much if not more than you are.”

“How in the hell do you figure that Ace?”

“She has felt guilty for over twenty-five years. When she walked out of that hospital, she had the best of intentions. She wanted what was best for you. Do you think she would have packed up and flew across the damn country for just anyone? No, she has a bond with you. There was something inside her telling her that she could help you. And why you do you think that is?”

I shrug my shoulders and gaze out the window and watch Seattle pass us by.

“Kayla, you are not dumb. I know that you feel the same bond she does. She loves you and I know deep down you love her too. Yes, you have a right to be upset, but have a little compassion for her. She is hurting just like you. So if you can’t find in your heart to show her you care enough to simply apologize for acting like a spoiled brat who didn’t get a pony for her birthday, then you need to tell her to go home. She deserves a chance Kayla.”

“Rodney, I will think about it, okay? That is the best answer I can give you right now. I will be civil and respectful of Patrice. I can’t offer anything else right now. I am sorry. ”

“All I ask is that you try. Walk in her shoes for just a minute. Imagine giving up a child then finding out that the child you gave up was raised by monsters. Don’t you think she has enough guilt?”

With that, I get out of the police car and I see the beast parked in her spot so I know Garrett is home.

“I will be up in a minute, Rodney.”

“Kayla no offense but can I have your purse? “

“You know, I’m too tired to even argue with you. I only want to gather my thoughts before I walk into my house, but if it’ll make you feel better, take my damn purse. You won’t find anything else. Hell, you already have all the damn dope.

“Kayla, believe me when I say I don’t want to be the hard ass. I have really grown to like you. You remind me of myself when I was younger—stubborn and very hard headed but in the end you will do what is best.”

“I’ll be up in a few. Please allow me to stand here and look at the Seattle skyline.”

He nods his head and hits the elevator button. I hear it ding and then going up.

I walk over to the edge of the parking garage and see the city of Seattle. It is around eleven at night so there is a brisk breeze blowing in the air. This city is so impressive at night.

In the distance I can hear the soft music coming from one of the many organs at St. James Cathedral. I catch myself walking in that direction. The soft music is soothing. It doesn’t take long before I am standing outside the massive doors. I walk up the steps and pull open the big wooden slabs. It feels like a higher power is gliding me across the black and white checkered floor. I see all the candles that have been lit for those who are needing prayers. I stop and light one not really knowing who I am praying for, but it just feels right.

I dip my hand in holy water and place a cross across my body.

I make my way to the front of the church. I look up and see all the beautiful stained glass. Each one cascades a different light.

The lights are dim and it’s creating a soft glow around the cross.

We are in the season of Advent so the reds and gold’s are perfect shades.

Up in the choir loft I hear the sweet sound of Christmas music, and I know immediately that it is the children’s chorus. They are singing
Oh Holy Night,
which is my all-time favorite Christmas Carol.

I make my way to the third row which is the one I always sit at. I pull down the small bench under the pews for prayers.

It is not long and I feel at peace. I get back up in the pew and just think about my life and where it is going. Can I actually have a relationship with her? Could I do what she did? Have a baby and just walk away? I know she had her reasons, but why not tell me as soon as she suspected? Was there ever a clue? I have asked myself who am I?

I close my eyes and I pray. I say a prayer that I used to say when I was trying to kick my old habits.

Lord,

I commit my failures, as well as my successes into your hands, and I bring for your healing the people and the situations, the wrongs and the hurts of the past. Give me courage, strength, and generosity to let go and move on—leaving the past behind me, and living the present to the full. Lead me always to be positive as I entrust the past to your mercy, the present to your love, and the future to your providence.

In your name I pray,

Amen

I guess I nod off because the next thing I know, I wake up and Patrice is right beside me. She has tears in her eyes.

“Kayla, I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, but if you will listen to what I have to say, then I will leave you alone. Will you at least listen to me?”

“Yes, I will.” I wipe a tear off my face and she grabs my hand, and I don’t pull away.

“Kayla, can I tell you about my past and then you can make your choice?”