Damned and Desired (23 page)

Looking across the fire, she saw all the women staring at her, some in awe, some a little fearful. The elder got up, crossed the room and brought her a cup of water. Sakari accepted it graciously and drank. Movement behind the elder woman caught her eye.

She sucked in breath and almost screamed. She dropped the cup and froze.

* * * * *

After several hours, Brad’s movement became much faster as his concentration improved. Beneath Big Thunder’s wings, he made twenty-four waterspouts, twelve from each wing, representing the four elements and the four seasons. He surrounded the design of Big Thunder with zigzag arrows of thunder and lightning. Next he added Big Fly, one of the first forms of animal life to appear, then The Bat, a sacred messenger of the spirit of the night.

By the time the sand painting was completed, Brad’s fingers were cramping so much, he couldn’t pick up the bowls anymore. “I think I’m done.”

The elder opened his eyes and yawned, leaned over and studied the painting.

“Hmmm. A Navajo child could have done much better. D plus.”

“I thought I wasn’t going to get a grade,” Brad said.

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The elder shrugged. The other men used shovels to remove round stones the size of large grapefruit out of the fire and dropped them into two metal buckets. “The next trial is about to begin.”

One man poured water onto the stones and steam shot out and filled the room.

Another man drummed out a soft rhythmic beat on an animal-skin drum. Brad had been through a sweat lodge ceremony before and knew he didn’t have to do anything but sweat it out. He stared into the fog and let his mind drift.

Images of his mission invaded his thoughts. The RPG fire had trapped his team. A number of his men were injured. They had to get out of there or kill the guy on that weapon. Brad stripped down, handed his pack and clothes to his buddy. His commander saw what he was up to and realized they didn’t have a choice. Wrapping himself in the leopard pelt, he was instantly transformed.

A buff-colored shadow crept up the hill toward the enemy. They did not expect an animal to jump out of the darkness. After the taste of blood from his first kill, adrenaline raced through his veins and he stalked his next victim and the next. One by one, he mauled them, taking out the enemy soldiers who had fired down on his men. But by this time, after a dozen kills, the bloodlust had taken over and the animal instinct for survival had overridden his soldier’s training. At the sound of movement beside him, he pounced on his next victim. As he attacked the scent was familiar and the leopard eased back but too late. His buddy used his knife to slash at his back to draw Brad off.

Brad’s wounds healed but his commander’s did not. His commander was dead.

Brad opened his eyes, tears burned, from the smoke, or memories—or both. The drumming continued and vibrated inside his chest. One of the men sang a soft chant.

Brad’s eyes went in and out of focus. He stared at the fire, trying to clear his vision. The mission. He had to put that behind him. He’d saved his men but at a terrible cost. If only he’d remained in control, they all would have made it out.

A shadow formed above the smoldering fire. It grew and rose above their heads then became a shape—a ghost leopard. Then the leopard took on the color of tan like Brad’s fur. The leopard loped toward Brad, stopping inches away.

He reached out his hand, the cat sniffed his fingers, rubbed his head on his knuckles, then turned and entered the fire. A deep longing pulled at Brad’s chest.
Come
back.
He sent out the thoughts to the animal as if he could will it to obedience.

“You have more trials to go through before he’ll return to you,” the elder said.

“Did you see him?”

The elder didn’t answer. “You have regained some of your powers. But you must still face a greater ordeal, a dangerous one for your spirit leopard to return to you.”

“What ordeal?”

“Don’t know. Not here. You will know when the time comes,” Bill said.

The elder brought out a small rectangular basket about a foot long and handed it to Brad. “This represents a burial for your friend’s family members.”

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Brad took the enclosed basket. “What’s in it?”

“An offering to the spirits. Herbs, grain, tobacco, bits of cloth.”

“What shall I do with it?”

The elder shaman gave a short laugh at having to explain the obvious. “Burn it.”

Brad nodded and placed the basket in the middle of the campfire and it instantly flared. “Anything else.”

He handed Brad a juniper bough. “Wave the smoke. To urge their spirits on to the spirit world. Dineh prefer simple burial but since your deceased friends are not available, we have made this ritual to represent a burial.”

Dineh, or the people, were Earth people, Navajo people. Would this work for the people of Prygos? He hoped so. Otherwise, Sakari would leave him. He choked back the acrid smoke scratching at his throat while the basket burned. Soon it was ashes.

He was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open. Time marched on and no matter how much he’d give up his heritage to undo the death of his teammate, he’d never be able to use his gift to help anyone including Sakari if he didn’t let go of the past.
Let it go.
If he hadn’t shifted and attacked the enemy they might’ve all been killed.

Out of the ashes, his leopard spirit appeared again and strolled around the hogan sniffing each man, stopping briefly at Bill. The men laughed. Finally, he approached Brad, like a long-lost friend. Brad’s chest filled with emotion and he had to swallow.

Would his leopard spirit return or always remain apart?

The animal came to Brad and rested his head in his lap like a loyal dog and vanished. The tears blurred Brad’s vision. He was embarrassed at first until he saw tears in his grandfather’s eyes.

* * * * *

Sakari slowly stood. The elder woman placed her hand gently on Sakari’s forearm, to keep her from moving. “Be still, child.”

Across the room, standing beside the table were her parents wearing the white silk robes of a servant, with the silver and blue sash of the gardener’s status. She almost forgot her code of silence. They looked solid, not like ghosts and she wanted to run to them and hold them. How could she bear it, standing there, not touching them—talking to them?

She glanced at the elder woman with a desperate plea.

“Spirits, just spirits,” she said.

Breathing slowly, Sakari glanced around the hogan and noticed all the woman were looking at them too.
Everyone saw them.

Someone started chanting and her parents smiled peaceful smiles. She heard a sound of pellets hitting the fire and smelled incense. Smoke filled the room and her parents faded into the smoke. Moments later, they vanished completely.

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Sakari stood for a long moment her hands over her heart feeling it pound. She felt the pain of her loss all over again.

“They are free now,” the elder woman said. “You may never speak their names again.”

Sakari couldn’t hold back her tears.

“You may talk now, it is dawn.” The woman patted her shoulder. “The ceremony is over.”

Choking back her tears, Sakari said, “Thank you.” Now that she had released her parents from their underworld prison and honored her duty to them, she had to protect the Sha Warriors even if it meant leaving Earth and Brad.

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After the ceremony, Bill’s sister drove them home. On the ride back to Sedona, Sakari kept falling asleep on Brad’s shoulder. “They’re free,” she told him. “Their spirits are free. Thank you.” She had thanked Bill and everyone.

He squeezed her hand. “I know. That’s great.” They pulled into her apartment complex and Brad kissed her. It was early morning but they were both exhausted from the long night. “Get some rest. We’ll talk about what we’re going to do later.” He sounded like he was going to drop off to sleep too.

“Okay.” She went inside her apartment and slept soundly for several hours.

When Sakari got to work later that night, the cook told her Haley had called in sick.

“Sick? What’s wrong with her?”

The middle-aged man with a shaved head and warm eyes shrugged. “Hell, I don’t know. She didn’t give details. You’ll have to run tables and make drinks tonight.” He turned and walked back into the kitchen. “I’ll help when I can.”

It was a quiet night, not too many customers. No one was coming out in this weather. Lightning lit up the sky and thunder rattled the windows, though no rain fell.

Sedona was also experiencing more earthquakes. Bottles and glasses shook on the shelves and the wagon wheel light fixtures swayed.

The cook charged out of the kitchen, eyes wide. “Hear anything on the news about these earthquakes?”

“I haven’t turned on the TV, didn’t want to make the customers nervous.”

“Good idea. Weird. Never had earthquakes like this before.” He went back inside the kitchen. The realization startled her. Tarik? Was all this because of his experiments?

The idea chilled her. What kind of permanent damage could he cause on Earth?

She went behind the bar and picked up the phone and punched in Haley’s home number.

“Hello?” She got a hoarse voice on the line.

“Haley? Is that you?”

“Yes, Sakari? What’s the matter?”

“What’s wrong with your voice?” Had Valdon gotten to her, done something to her?

“I have a cold. I feel like shit. Sorry, I can’t come in tonight.”

“Oh. I was worried. Valdon is—”

“Dante warned me to stay away from him. Don’t worry.”

Sakari sighed. “Okay. Feel better.”

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She hung up.

Hours later, toward the end of her shift near midnight, Dante walked in and sat at the bar. She opened a bottle of beer and placed it in front of him. “I don’t have time to talk to you. Haley’s home sick. I’m working alone.”

Dante looked around. “Find time.”

Sakari put down the drinks she was about to serve. “Something has happened.

What is it?”

“It’s started.”

“The project?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, no.” Her hands clutched the bar. “How do you know?”

“Valdon has brought one of the Sha Warriors to Anartia.”

She opened her mouth to speak but Dante raised his hand. “I just checked on Haley, she’s fine.”

“I have to stop it. I need to call Brad. He’s at work. I have to leave here.”

Dante shook his head. “No, stay. Be prepared to leave though. You can’t do anything. You can’t fight the demoness, Tarik and Valdon. Anartia is breaking free of Earth soon. If I can’t find my revenge on John Reilly here, I’ll have to find it on Prygos.”

“But they’re going to kill the Sha Warriors.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do know that. I saw it in a vision. The Navajos showed me the future.”

Dante considered her words. “Wise people. It’s why I chose Coyote as my totem animal to shapeshift when Tarik assimilated me.”

“What if we destroyed Anartia?” she whispered, desperation clear in her voice.

He raised an eyebrow, then laughed. “You’re mad. Even if we could do that, why would you try? Anartia is the source of our immortality. To destroy Anartia, would end our immortality, maybe our lives.”

“I’d rather live on Earth as a mortal, than on Prygos or Anartia as an immortal,” she murmured, as she walked around the bar to serve her customers their drinks. When she returned, Dante was finishing his beer and sliding his cash over to pay.

“I’ll see what I can do to help the Sha Warriors.” He smiled in that cocky, arrogant way of his, mischievous like the Coyote Trickster. “But I won’t destroy Anartia.”

“All right. I’ll wait to hear from you. But I’m calling Brad to warn him.”

“Do that.” Dante left the bar.

Her shift was almost over. How could she work the rest of the night without jumping out of her skin? A wave of dread passed through her. Dante said he would have his revenge on John Reilly on Prygos if he had to. If he wouldn’t give up his immortality, why would he help her and the Sha Warriors? Would knowing they were being sacrificed make a difference to him? She doubted it. She didn’t trust him.

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Picking up the phone, she called Brad.

“Don’t leave work, like he says,” Brad said.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you going home or to my house alone with Valdon wandering around.”

“But Valdon may be after you. And he can shift into any form. Don’t go out alone with anyone, even a friend. It could be Valdon in disguise.”

“Don’t worry. My powers have returned so I can fight him on his level.”

“You can’t fight Valdon on any level. You’re from two different worlds,” Sakari said. She would have to fight him.

“I get off work in a half-hour. I’ll come and pick you up.”

“Okay, Brad. Be careful.”

* * * * *

The night shift was arriving and Brad, Jan and the other emergency clinic personnel were going through their shift change procedures.

“Hey guy, want to go for a drink after work? There’s this new martini bar on Main Street,” Jan asked as she handed him charts to sign.

“Another time. I need to get home tonight.”

“Oh, come on. A quick one and you’ll be home before your girlfriend gets home from work. She can’t be jealous of a middle-aged lady. I could be your mother.”

Brad laughed, then abruptly stopped. An icy chill crept up his back. Valdon? “I’d love to, Jan. But really, I can’t tonight.”

She had an odd expression that he couldn’t read. His leopard pelt was in his car.

How would he know if Valdon had shifted into Jan? And where would the real Jan be?

“Rain check then,” she said. “Have a good night.”

All seemed quiet when he got home. He had about an hour to kill before Sakari’s shift was over, then he’d go pick her up. He let Zeus in to feed him, giving him his usual pets and hugs. The dog wandered in and sat by his food dish, eagerly watching Brad as he scooped out dog food. Brad placed the bowl at Zeus’ feet, then got him fresh water. The dog didn’t make a move to eat. “What’s wrong buddy, you’re usually starved by the time I get home. Worn out from chasing rabbits all day?”