Damon (22 page)

I could barely turn my head, but when I did I saw Damon was no longer in bed, and it came back to me that we were in the cabin in the woods.

Adrenaline shot through my veins and I sat up, trying to put the memories back together. Had I dreamed it or was it real?

I reached up to my neck and found a bandage. So that much had been real. I looked myself over. Damon had put my nightshirt on me and had settled me comfortably beneath the covers.

The sunlight spilling in through the open curtains looked like morning sun, so I had slept all night.

My brain aggressively tugged me back to the big question. Was my husband a vampire? I’d surely been hallucinating, from blood loss and inherent insanity.

I crawled out of bed, moved on shaky legs to the mirror over the dresser, and quickly pulled at the corner of the bandage on my neck. I was afraid of what I’d see. It had felt like he’d bitten a hunk out of my neck. Expecting a horrid gaping wound of muscles and cartilage and blood, I was surprised to find two neat scab-covered holes there. The punctures weren’t as neat as our little gadget made, but I was relieved. I wouldn’t have a grotesque scar there for the rest of my life.

Scars, yes, it was too late for that – but at least it wouldn’t look like I’d been nearly had my head blown off by rifle fire.

I stared back at my green eyes in the mirror and felt a pulling sense of clarity and understanding. I stood on two strong legs.

Real teeth couldn’t make two nice little puncture marks. I’d seen his long, sharp fangs. And I’d seen him toss the lancing device away. It was still on the floor where I’d heard it bang off the closet door. Normal people didn’t drink blood. They were reviled by the notion. I turned and looked at the doorway. I was married to a vampire.

Damon was a vampire.

The truth seemed absolute.

God, was I one now? Or, had I always been one? Born a vampire?

Wondering, I walked over to the window and stood in the penetrating sunlight. It was warm but didn’t burn. My eyes were sensitive, but I didn’t turn away, hissing and shielding my eyes with my arm like a vampire would. In the movies, at least. But then, Damon had said real vampires weren’t like that.

I went in search of him and found him standing out on the front porch, leaning against a post, basking in the sunlight. I pushed open the screen door and stepped outside.

Damon took two big steps and was in front of me. He ran his hands over my face and shoulders, examining my state. “I was afraid I took too much. I was just thinking how to kill myself if you didn’t make it.”

His blue eyes were red-rimmed and watery, no longer silver. But I focused on his straight teeth. “I’m okay. I’m worried about you. Where are your fangs?”

“Me?” he said with surprise. “No. You. We’re worried about you. I’m Hercules.”

“You’re a vampire, Damon.”

“Yeah, I know.” He lifted me into his arms and carried me back inside. “You need to rest.” He sat me on the couch. “And drink.”

“Damon,” I said, “you had fangs. I saw them. Your eyes turned silver. Did I dream it? Or… am I going insane already. I need to know. Tell me the truth.”

He jerked his head in surprise. “My eyes turned silver?”

“Yeah, silver and glowing.”

He reached up and touched his teeth. “I could feel the fangs, but I didn’t feel my eyes change.” He focused on me with urgency. “What color silver? How silver?”

“Bluish silver. And they shimmered and sparkled with light. Really silver. Almost white.”

He fell back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. His mouth fell open and he let out a sigh of wonder. “Wow. Silver eyes….”

“They were beautiful.”

He sat up abruptly and grabbed my arms. “Say you believe me now. One hundred percent. And never go back.”

I had to nod emphatically. “Without a doubt. You’re really real. I couldn’t believe it.”

His face darkened, he tilted his head back, and a wild laugh reverberated through the room. Moving too quickly, he stood up, taking me with him, and whirled us round and round till I was dizzy and nauseous.

He stopped when we crashed into the stairs.

“We’re alive now,” he told me, holding my face between his hands. “We mean something now. We have to find our people.”

I nodded, my throat closing with emotion, my eyes blurring with tears.

We had to find our people.

I believed.

I truly believed.

***

I didn’t call Aunt Cynthia that day, though I knew I should have. Damon had convinced me that this was our day and I didn’t owe anybody anything. Not on our first full, conscious, day as husband and wife. Not on our first real day as miraculous vampires.

We gave ourselves a honeymoon. We made love and walked through the park, seeing the world through new eyes, and we went out to eat at a fish restaurant.

Our euphoria was bright and loud and people stared, but we didn’t care. Not at all. We owned the world and everything in it.

We were gods, and the minions respected our authority. They hurried to please or move out of our way. They couldn’t touch us and we knew it. Bullets couldn’t have penetrated our skins.

Delusions of grandeur
, I could almost hear Aunt Cynthia cluck.
Yet another symptom.
But she wasn’t a voice in my head and I had no interest in her opinion. She was a mere mortal.

“Do you think we’ll live forever?” I asked Damon as I waited for him to unlock the door at the cabin.

“Probably.”

“Gram and Elliott and Corky didn’t.”

He stepped inside and made a dramatic gesture waving a clear path for my grand entrance.

There was an envelope taped to the door and I peeled it loose as I passed by. Damon tried to take it from me, but I turned and read the short note inside. Then I whirled back to face him.

“They’re asking us to leave,” I told him.

“Why?” He snatched the letter and read, frowning.

“It doesn’t say. They assume we know.”

He crushed the letter in his fist. “It’s because I was shouting from the balcony. No, because I was naked, and shouting.”

“No, it’s because the people next door saw us doing it out there right before that. I saw them walking down below. They saw us. We should have been more careful.”

Damon curled his lip in disgust and growled. “We came here for nature. What’s the point if we can’t fuck outside like animals? We’re not leaving.”

I wasn’t angry. This all seemed incredibly funny to me and I laughed from the pit of my gut. “We can’t stay anywhere!”

His mood instantly brightened and he scooped me into his arms to carry me up to the bedroom.

“You get on top this time,” he said, “and we’ll see if we can find your fangs.”

We became so lost in our own euphoria we completely forgot about the mysteries of the old people, the fact that we were going crazy, or even searching out the cave where Elliot’s grandfather had said they’d been bitten by a vampire. We forgot about the hidden village where vampires lived. Where some sort of answers or cure existed.

All we wanted to do was make love, feed and own the world.

***

Damon and I looked like we’d been ravaged by a pack of wild dogs when we arrived at Aunt Cynthia’s. It was amazing we were still alive the way we fed off each other. We weren’t even trying to hide the bandages anymore. We were beasts and didn’t care.

Aunt Cynthia was furious. We’d been gone three days without a word. She’d been having problems with Mama and was trying to pack for the move. And the sight of us clearly revolted and alarmed her.

She stared at us for a long time. Then she said simply, “Well, I’m terrified.”

“Everything’s all right,” I tried to tell her.

She appeared to be in shock. “I don’t know what to say.”

Frankly, neither did we. So far, we hadn’t come across anyone who knew us. And I didn’t truly realize how dirty and ravaged we looked until I saw myself reflected in her eyes.

Coming back to Aunt Cynthia’s familiar apartment had abruptly brought my head down from the clouds. Mama had had a violent episode during my absence and had bruised her eye. She was drugged into a stupor when I knelt down to check on her. She sat in a chair by the window in the bedroom. She couldn’t even meet my eyes.

I stood, whirling on Aunt Cynthia. “What all did you give her?”

Her eyes instantly turned hard and defensive. “Don’t you dare question me when I’m the one taking care of your responsibilities. Look at these bruises she gave me! She scares me to death! I want her nice and quiet, sitting right there.”

I was tired and didn’t want to argue. I’d been a little dizzy all day and needed to sit down. So I passed her in the doorway and went to find the sofa, sitting back hard with a sigh when I finally arrived.

Damon, probably wanting to avoid the tension in the room, mentioned something about running an errand and quickly left the house.

Aunt Cynthia paced the open space from the hallway with her arms crossed.

I didn’t say anything and she didn’t say anything, for a while, and then she sighed and sat down in front of me on the coffee table.

“Honey,” she began, struggling to remain calm, “I think you need to find help. I’m sorry I was angry at you. It’s really not your fault.” She tried to hold my hand, but I wouldn’t let her. “I was angry because I was worried. I should have recognized the signs sooner.”

“I’m not sick,” I told her.

She pressed her lips together to keep from saying something she knew she shouldn’t. Instead, she nodded and spoke to me like I was Mama. “Or course you’re not sick, darling. But you are having some trouble seeing things clearly. I just think if we went home and you went to see your mother’s doctor it might help. To talk things through.”

I shook my head, a little afraid she might be able to force me.

“And Damon could go with you,” she offered. “You could do it together. I know you love him and care about his health.”

“Don’t presume things you can’t understand,” I spat. “He’s my
life
.”

“I know, honey, I know,” she said, trying to smooth down my temper. “And I’m not suggesting you give him up. I just think it’s time we all went home.”

That idea, I couldn’t argue with. I was ready to go home. “Tomorrow. I’m too tired to drive anymore today.”

“All right,” she said gently. “Now, let’s go take a look at these cuts and see if we need to go see a doctor.”

I kept my hands out of reach. “No, they’re just bug bites. We stayed in a cabin in the woods.”

Yeah, like she was going to believe that.

“Honey, just tell me. What’s he doing to you? Tell me the truth. I won’t get mad.”

“Nothing. It’s none of your business.”

“It is if he’s hurting you,” she said.

“He’s not hurting me.”

“You have blood on you. I think he’s been cutting you. And why you’re protecting him, I can’t even imagine.”

I looked down and saw that a wound on the inside of my forearm had been bleeding out of the bandage and I’d smeared it on my shirt and arm. It was dry now.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t continue hiding this. I was afraid she would have Damon arrested, or have both of us committed. But I couldn’t tell her! I was ashamed.

Tears came to my eyes and I couldn’t stop them from rolling down my cheeks. Cautiously, she sat beside me on the sofa and put her arms around me.

I let her hold me, finally shedding all the stress and confusion I’d kept bottled up. I clung to her and cried a river down her shirt. My wailing sounded like it came straight from the pits of hell.

I cried because Damon and I were sick and addicted, and worse, our drug was right under our noses at all times, inside us, always available, and the only obstacle was our fragile willpower. It was too hard. The struggle was constant and the pain never ended, until we drank. The world was too confusing. People were constantly criticizing with their gazes and thoughts and words. I cried harder because of a haunting memory of the night Teddy had given me the excuse to find a blade. God, I still had secrets. Secrets I could barely force myself to remember. Yet, couldn’t stop remembering. That night I had been vile and pathetic enough to drink my own blood.

And then, I cried hardest because I didn’t deserve to live.

I must have exhausted myself and fallen asleep against her, because I woke up stretched out on the sofa with an afghan spread over me.

The room was dim from the fading sunlight outside. I sat up, instantly alarmed. “
Damon
?”

Aunt Cynthia came around the corner from the kitchen. “I’m right here,” she said. “Everything’s fine.”

I didn’t care about her. “Where’s Damon?”

“He hasn’t come back yet. Do you think you could eat some soup? Do you want some water? You look dry. Stay right there.”

She left me and rushed into the kitchen. I threw the cover off and planted my feet on the floor. I was thirsty. For water this time. For cool, clean, revitalizing water.

When she returned I grabbed the glass and gulped down every drop that didn’t spill down my chin. An intense coolness ran down my gullet and livened my stomach. My vision began to clear and my skin tingled all the way to my toes.

“Better?” she asked.

I nodded and handed her the empty glass. “Thanks.”

“You look a little better. You need to eat, though. You’ve lost weight just since you’ve been here.”

Maybe I did need to eat food. I did feel a little hungry, and Damon and I hadn’t bothered to eat all day. We might not have eaten yesterday, either. Or the day before that. We hadn’t thought of food. We’d managed to find another cabin and had spent the time there living in vampire paradise.

She fed me chicken noodle soup at the kitchen table, and sat watching me.

“How did you get those cuts?” she asked.

I answered without glancing at her. I’d already come up with my story. “We fell down a ravine. It was thick with brambles and prickly things. I got so tangled up Damon had to cut me out of it with his pocketknife.”

She sighed, and reached for a cigarette instead of questioning me further. “Do you know you look like Grammy when she was young?”