Chapter Nineteen
I
t was Friday evening and Shara was bored. Keeva was going out with Mark so she didn't have anything to do. She thought of calling Danielle, one of the other youth leaders she was becoming friendly with, but she had left her number at the church.
Shara had decided to make a concerted effort to make more friends. Getting to know Keeva made her see how important that was. They had a lot of fun hanging out. She didn't have to be so serious about life and could relax, laugh, and have a good timeâwhich she now realized was much needed.
Every once in a while, though, she hungered for a deep, spiritual conversation. She wanted to talk about destiny and vision, and get excited about all the dreams she had. She tried to avoid that conversation with Keeva because it seemed to send her into a blue funk. Talking to Keeva over the past months made her wonder what was worse: not knowing one should have a sense of purpose
or
, knowing that, but having no earthly idea what that purpose was.
Shara had noticed in spite of the fact that Keeva had joined her in her rigorous study schedule, school was getting harder for her. Keeva had mentioned that she was getting more and more frustrated as she was asking herself questions about whether this was really the career she wanted to pursue or whether she was doing it to make everyone else happy.
Shara couldn't imagine having to do something day after day, with hours of class and then additional hours of study, without being 100% committed to it. School got on
her
nerves, and she knew why
she
was doing it. All she could do was pray for Keeva and hope she would find God to rescue her from her misery.
Keeva hadn't been back to church with her since that first time and Shara hadn't brought up church or God to her at all. Was she being a true friend, allowing Keeva to wallow in misery when she had the answer she needed?
Shara had learned a lot over the past few years about bringing people to Christ. Before, her whole concept of witnessing was from what she learned growing up. Passing out tracts, badgering people and trying to convince them they needed to “get right with God or go to hell” was all she knew. Mother Hobbs taught her that was the best way to repel people away from God. Shara learned that being an example of a Christian through one's lifestyle was the best witness there was. Mother Hobbs taught her that intercession, then using whatever strategy the Holy Spirit revealed was the best way to get someone saved.
So Shara continued to pray for Keeva and to be her friendâwithout preaching, without condemning, without judging. In her experience, that had never gotten anyone saved anyway.
Shara decided to get a movie. It had been a while since she'd been to Blockbuster's. She wandered through the stacks of movies until she finally picked
Mr. Holland's Opus
.
When she plopped her movie down on the counter, Travis looked up at her and said, “Did you find everything okay, ma'am?”
Shara stood there and smiled.
He looked at her with faint recognition in his eyes and then shock. “Miss Shara? What happened to you?”
Shara narrowed her eyes at him.
“I don't mean it like that. You look so different. You look, uh, nice.”
Shara narrowed her eyes further, but then allowed a smile to creep through. “I'll take your surprise as a compliment, otherwise I might have to get offended.”
“Did you leave your church or something?”
“Okay, now I
am
offended. What's that supposed to mean? Why does everyone think because I didn't wear makeup and earrings that I'm a religious nut of some sort? I run five miles a day, am a graduate student, and work.”
Travis looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. “I'm sorry, Miss Shara. I just assumed . . .” He scratched his ear. “So you run five miles a day?” He looked down at her legs.
“Hello? My face is up here. What is your problem, Travis?” She watched his eyes as they roamed her body. This was precisely why she didn't like wearing shorts outside the house other than when she was running. No matter how much they tried, men couldn't hide the dog inside.
He shook himself out of his lusty stupor. “Nothing . . . I . . . you can't expect to make a total change and not have somebody notice, that's all.” He smiled. “This is a good movie. You've never seen it before? It's one of my favorites. You'll enjoy it.” Now he looked like the Travis she knew.
“Thanks.” She picked up her movie and walked toward the door. She could feel him watching her.
“Hey, maybe we should get together and watch a movie sometime.” He spoke in time to catch her before she walked out the door. “We seem to have the same taste in movies. It would be fun.”
Shara returned to the counter with her hands on her hips.
He continued. “Actually, I've been thinking lately that it's time for me to get my life together. How 'bout I come to your church this Sunday? We could go out for dinner afterwards.” He flashed a charming smile.
Shara got up close so no one else behind the counter could hear. “Travis, we've been chit-chatting about movies as long as I've been coming to this store. You never wanted to watch movies together before. I've invited you to church several times and all of a sudden you want to go? If I didn't know any better, I'd think that had more to do with my
butt
than you wanting to get your life together. Do you have any idea how shallow that is?”
She gave him one of Keeva's nice nasty smiles, turned on her heels and walked out the door. She'd definitely have to go to the video rental store down the street from now on.
Â
Shara walked into her apartment in time to catch the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey, Shara.”
“Hey, Keeva. I thought you were out with Mark.”
“He had to cancelâstudy group or something. I'm getting together with a group of friends to go out for drinks. Wanna go?”
Shara didn't really like the idea of going out for drinks or the idea of meeting some of Keeva's friends, but Travis' roaming eyes had ruined her Blockbuster mood. She didn't want to stay home with that yucky feeling.
“Sure, I guess. Where are you going?”
Keeva gave her directions to a place called Café 290. Shara had wanted to change into a pair of baggy jeans and a T-shirt, but she didn't feel like seeing Keeva's lip curl up or her fake smile. She pulled on a nice fitting pair of black jeans and a lavender knit top and was on her way.
When she pulled up at Café 290, Keeva was already there in the parking lot, standing next to a tall woman with a long, flowing weave in front of a red Lexus. She was waving at a light-skinned woman driving up in a green Jaguar. Shara wanted to keep on driving, but realized Keeva had seen her when she waved in her direction.
She pulled into a spot next to them and got out.
“Shara, this is Jade and this is Heather. Lisa's on her way.”
Keeva's friends shook her hand and looked her up and down. Compared to them, Shara might as well have worn her jeans and T-shirt. Jade had on a stylishly cut, olive green pantsuit that blended with her light green eyes. Heather had on a tight fitting black Lycra dress that showed off all her curves. She might have been pretty if she didn't have so much makeup on. Keeva was her usual stylish self, wearing a long, black skirt and a mustard, short-sleeve sweater. Shara looked down at her own outfit.
Keeva waved again. “There she is.”
Shara figured this was Lisa driving up in a red sports car. The petite woman got out, pulled her short skirt down over her ample hips, adjusted her left shoe, pulled up her bra and then walked over to where they were. “Watch out ladies, I'm a woman on a mission. I gotta get me some tonight!”
Keeva made the introductions and they walked into what Shara realized was a bar. It was filled with smoke and well-dressed, black professionals, looking like they were on the same mission as Lisa. Shara sat down at their table between Jade and Lisa, across from Keeva.
The waitress came over to their table and took their drink order. “Two Long Island Ice teas, two white wines, and a cranberry juice.”
Heather started chair dancing to the live jazz music playing in the background. “Girl, I am so glad it's Friday, I don't know what to do. If I had to face another day at work this week, I might pull out my weave.”
Lisa giggled. “I know what you mean. I'm beginning to think I should have gone to grad school like Keeva, 'cause this nine to five is kicking my butt.”
“Pleaseâgrad school ain't no better.” Keeva sucked her teeth. “You gotta go to class all day and then you gotta come home and study. At least with work, when you're done, you're done.”
Lisa looked at Keeva. “I don't know what kind of job you think you're gonna have.”
Jade looked over at Heather. “Hello, are you here with us or here with him?”
Heather was making eyes at a tall man at the next table. “Girl, he is
too
fine. I might have to get his number.” She leaned in and lowered her voice. “You know I need a spare, especially since Darnell ain't been acting right.”
“A spare? What are you talking about?” Lisa looked over at the man Heather was admiring.
“Girl, you don't get one man, you always get two.” Heather flipped her hair. “That way if Number One don't act right, you always have Number Two waiting in the wings.”
“You go, girl. That's what's up,” Lisa said.
Heather leaned in again. “Girl, what you think? Does he look like a five-minute man or an all-night-long man? Lord knows I don't need another five-minute man. I need somebody who can satisfy
all
my needs.”
Shara squirmed in her seat. She saw Keeva watching her.
Heather continued, “How much money you think he makes? I don't need no broke man either.”
Jade looked over. “Well, the shoes are Ferragamo, the suit looks like Armani. I'd say he's paid. His friend don't look like he's doing too bad either. I might have to talk to him.”
Lisa and Heather looked at each other then back at Jade. “I can't believe you're looking at another man. What about Andrew?” Heather asked.
Jade sipped her wine and rolled her eyes. “He started to get boring, and then he got laid off. Girl, you know he can't afford me if he ain't got no j-o-b.”
Lisa gave her a high-five. “Girl, I know that's right!”
Keeva shook her head at them.
“What, Keeva?” Jade snapped. “Just because you got Mr. Perfect doesn't mean you should look down on the rest of us. If I had a man like Mark . . .” She smiled.
“What?” Keeva raised her eyebrows.
“Let's just say I wouldn't be hanging out with y'all tonight.” Jade finished off her wine. Lisa and Heather laughed nervously.
Heather finished off her Long Island Iced Tea. “Shara, you're awfully quiet. Maybe you need a little drinky-drink so you can relax and have some fun.”
Keeva shifted in her chair as the women turned their attention to Shara.
“No thanks. I don't drink,” Shara said.
Heather smiled. “I feel you, girl, I'm not supposed to drink either, but I figure since my problem was with prescription pills and not alcohol, a little drink here and there shouldn't hurt.” She motioned for the waitress to bring her another. “So how do you and Keeva know each other? She's never mentioned you before.”
Keeva spoke up, “We're in school together. Shara was a teacher and now she's getting her degree to be a principal. She's gonna run her own school.”
Lisa swirled her drink. “I feel you, girl. I know teachers don't make no money. You had to go back so you could get yours, huh? My cousin is a teacher and all she makes is $28,000 a year. I don't see how she can live on that. She talks some junk about the kids being our future and how it's not about the money; it's about making a difference in someone's life. Yeah, right. She ain't fooling nobody but herself. Don't nobody want to be that broke.”
“So how much do principals make?” Jade asked.
Shara pulled her purse over her shoulder and stood up. “You know what, Keeva? I've got to go.” Her eyes darted around the table. “It was nice meeting all of you. Have a good evening.” Shara walked away without looking back.
When she was almost to her car, she heard Keeva's voice behind her.
“Shara, wait!” Keeva ran across the parking lot to meet her at her car. “What's wrong?”
Shara spun around to face her. “Are you serious?”
“Okay, I'm sorry. My friends . . . I don't know what to say. I didn't think they wouldâ”
“What possessed you to invite me to hang out with them?” Shara turned her key in her car door. “I don't understand you, Keeva. You're not like those girls in there. You're a real person with real depth and real feelings. I guess maybe I shouldn't judge them like I initially judged you. Maybe there is some real depth to them, but who has the time to dig beneath all that crap to find it? Thanks for trying to show me a good time, but next time, leave me at home.”
Shara got into her car and put her key in the ignition.
“Shara, wait. Please!” Keeva put her hands on Shara's window. “I don't know why I thought you would like them. Most of the time,
I
don't even like them. Please don't be mad.”
“I'm not mad, Keeva. I just didn't enjoy that.”
“To tell you the truth, I didn't enjoy it much either.”
“Then why do you hang out with them?”