Dancing with Deception (22 page)

“What about us?”

Her stomach clenched. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, I get it. You thought since you were here, and you were available, I thought why not and nothing else. Is that it?”

Maybe
. “No. I just don’t know what you mean. We’ve had fun and—”

“Finish that sentence and I swear I’ll throw your ass off the dock.” When her lips stayed firmly shut
,
he went on. “We’ve had fun. Yes. We’ll have more, Rebecca. You were here, you were available—but if I didn’t want you, it wouldn’t have happened. Get that?”

She wanted to. But hope was a set up for a bigger let down. She didn’t know how much more she could take. Self preservation kept her response light.

“Sure, we were attracted and we acted on it.”

“God damn it, Rebecca.”

“What? You’re the one who said it. I’m not complaining. I agree to keeping things simple and not complicating them.”

The already set line of his jaw tightened so hard she wondered how it didn’t crack. His hands snaked out to grab her arms. “I’m in love with you, damn it. How’s that for simple?”

She froze, from her trembling heart to her clenched jaw. The words were thrown at her often enough. It wasn’t something she hadn’t heard before, but coming from Gideon, it hurt. “Take your hands off me.”

He spun her around, pressing her back against the brick. “I tell you I’m in love with you and that’s what you have to say?”

“I meant it, too. Back off.”

He shook her once, then pulled her to him. His mouth covered her again, hot and possessive. His teeth nipped, his tongue savaged. Her head was spinning when he pulled her away just as quickly as he’d yanked her to him. “No way in hell.”

“What?” She needed to put her hand on her head to clear it, but her arms were still pinned to her sides. Instead, she worked on pulling air into her tortured lungs.

“No way in hell I’m backing off. You’re just going to have to deal with it.”

He’d never been more furious with a woman in his life. He remembered when Shelley Cole had lied and told everyone in the ninth grade that he’d gotten her pregnant, and the anger he felt then couldn’t compare to the burning rage he felt now.

He’d told Rebecca he loved her, for Christ’s sake, and she had straight up told him to back off.

It just figured, he thought while docked the boat at Avery, that the first time he’d told a woman he loved her, she would throw it back in his face.

He hadn’t meant to tell her exactly that way, or even so soon. But the words were out before he could activate his mental filter. She hadn’t even anticipated his feelings, nor was she shocked by them. She was only disgusted.

As he was disgusted with himself. He swung his long frame out of the boat and stalked up to the house. He was completely aware that Rebecca followed him more slowly and that pissed him off, too. He could physically see her withdrawal from him. Where her eyes had been warm before, now they looked at him warily and a little angrily. Her body was tense when he opened the door for her.

She stayed tense when his mother met her in the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her, but her body visibly relaxed when Rose engulfed her in a hug.

“Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you so much for what you did.”

“Jess wanted to go.” She returned the hug.

“I know, I know.” Rose sniffled and released Rebecca. Smoothing down her apron, she glanced over at Gideon and smiled beautifully. He returned the smile he didn’t feel then followed Rebecca upstairs.

When he reached the top of the stairs, his blood went from a steady simmer, to a boiling eruption. He got a brief look at her grim face before she slammed the guest room door closed. And he heard the smug click of the lock. The sound was like an echo as he stood in the middle of the hallway with his fist clenched.

Knowing she’d be better off if he walked away, he went into his room and paced. Prowling didn’t seem to assuage his anger. He could smell her. Her perfume clung to his sheets, bumping his system.

The wind was picking up outside. Rain would pour any minute, he knew. The storm outside wouldn’t compare to the one raging in him. He loved her—
loved her
, and she had crushed him carelessly.

He heard her door open and close across the hall and waited. He let out a growl when he heard her go into the bathroom and turn on the shower.

Damn her for making him want her this way and then refusing him. Gideon stripped down to his shorts thinking of murder, and then slipped into the guest bedroom to wait.

She must have kept some clothes in here, he thought while he prowled the room. That angered him more because she had been staying in his room. Hadn’t wanted to at first, he recalled. But he’d talked her into it, had even moved her things when she had been out for a run.

He put the brakes on his thoughts and concentrated on the sounds. The tap shutting off, feet padding on the tile. He waited for her in the dark as the rain began to pour out the open window.

She came into the dark room slowly. He saw her shadow—outlined by the hallway light behind her—tense and knew she sensed him in the room.

“Can I help you?”

He knew the tone was meant to insult him. Instead of growling as he wanted to do, he scowled into the dark. “Wouldn’t have figured you for a coward. Avoiding me this way.”

“If I were avoiding you, I wouldn’t have come into the room.” She came into it fully now and sat down on the bed.

By memory, he knew she was toweling her hair dry even though he couldn’t see her in the darkness. Deciding to remedy that, he flipped the lamp on beside the bed and saw her scowling at him. He saw past the scowl and used every ounce of control he possessed to keep his jaw from dropping to the floor.

She was wearing a dark blue gown that left little to the imagination. Tiny straps held up form fitting silk that showcased curves that he knew would fit his hands perfectly. His mouth watered and his heart stuttered in his chest.

“If you weren’t avoiding me, you would have gone to our room instead of this one.”

“That’s your room.”

“God damnit, Rebecca.” He did growl now. “What in the hell is wrong with you?”

Her answer took a long time. Absently rubbing her hair dry, she shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about any of this tonight. I’m very tired.”

“You just need time to rationalize your feelings away.”

“You don’t have the slightest clue what I’m feeling.” Her voice whipped with anger and he thought,
finally
.

“Bet I do.” His words were deliberately clipped and harsh. He’d had enough thought for one night, enough feeling. Now he only wanted to hurl his anger out at her. “You’re feeling annoyed that we didn’t stick to your tidy little plan.”

“I didn’t have a plan.”

“Oh, I think you did. I think you had it all mapped out once things got heated between us. You weren’t counting on any emotion. Just a fuck buddy.”

She paled visibly. “That’s certainly—”

“Honest.”

“How’s this for honest? You’re only mad because I wounded your giant, male ego.” Her pale arms folded under her silk clad breasts. “Ego’s a funny thing. So big and powerful, yet so easy to bruise.”

“My ego is fine, actually. I’m mad because—” He clamped his mouth shut and gritted his teeth. He didn’t want to give away any more of his feelings. Damn her, she’d hurt him enough for one night. “I don’t even want to talk about this right now.”

“Fine. Great. Can we go to bed now?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” He scooped her up in his arms ignoring her gasping protest. He knew that hadn’t been what she meant, but somewhere during their heated argument with the storm raging in the background, need slammed through his system.

“Put me down, Gideon. I don’t want to sleep with you tonight.”

“Then we won’t.” They wouldn’t be sleeping, he thought grimly as he strode into his bedroom. He kicked the door closed with his bare foot and dropped her on the bed. By the second bounce, she was fighting for balance to flee. To stop her, he covered her on the bed, dipping his fingers into her damp hair.

Even while she objected, her sweet little body molded to his. She fit as no woman had ever fit before. His teeth were on her throat and triumph rang through him when her weak protests trailed off, replaced with whimpers that splintered his mind.

When he would normally have taken his time kissing her, he plundered. When he would have slowly fingered the strap of her gown, he tore it aside and feasted on her shoulder instead. She cried out, a low needing sound that had all the blood rushing to his head.

“You want this.” He pulled back only far enough to read her face. Her nod was desperate, her eyes closed tight. “Tell me you want me.”

“I want you.”

“God.” It was an oath and a prayer as he pulled her gown up and off. With a single flick of the wrist, it flew across the room. “Kiss me.”

And she did. A tremor worked through him when her tongue slipped into his mouth. He took, and took until he knew they both felt drunk. His hands were everywhere, sliding over smooth skin. He didn’t take his time and couldn’t if he’d tried.

The storm lashed viciously outside. The thunder stirred his blood followed by a flash of white light that illuminated her pale skin. He saw her eyes in the flash of lightning that shot through the windows and they were dark and deep and staring at him in wonder.

He fisted her hair in his hand and pulled her head back to once again ravish her neck. Her nails dug heedlessly in his back. Finally, when he thought he would explode, he pushed her back onto the bed, mounted her, and drove into her with a force that nearly broke him.

Sweat slicked over their bodies while he took her over the first crest. Her hips moved with him, matching his frantic beat. Their fingers were linked when he gave into the savage need on a burst of thunder.

Wrecked and spent, he lay on top of her while the air wheezed in and out of his lungs. Her body, still warm and slick, vibrated beneath his. He knew he must have been crushing her, but she wasn’t complaining. Slowly, he was aware of her breath hitching, her body stiffening.

He moved back to look down at her face. There wasn’t any color in it, he realized and frowned. Her body had been melting in his hands moments before, but was now cold. He cursed, she flinched. He cursed again and slid off her.

When she meant to get out of the bed, he simply pulled her back down and brought the blanket up over them.

“What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He frowned at the tremor that came out of her voice. Recalling her reluctance at first, and his frantic ravishing, he had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Because her voice was shaky, he kept his steady. “Did I scare you?”

He felt instant relief when she shook her head.

“Then what’s wrong?”

Since she wasn’t fighting him now, he loosened his hold on her and ran a hand down her stiff arm. Her breath shuddered out once before she controlled it. Fighting frustration, he waited.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

He moved his hand to her hair and sifted it through his fingers. “Don’t you want to be here?”

“Yes. But I don’t
want
to want to be here.”

Even if her answer frustrated him, it was more honesty than she’d given him so far. Even when he didn’t understand it, he respected it. “Even knowing I love you? No, don’t stiffen up on me.” He yanked her back to his side and tilted her chin up. “I love you, Rebecca.”

“I believe you.”

“Then what’s the problem?” He felt like he’d been asking her the same question all night. Problem was—he still didn’t have an answer. She shook her head and he grabbed her in frustration. “No more avoiding this, Rebecca. Why won’t you even acknowledge my feelings?”

“I don’t want them.”

He’d barely heard her but the quiet words cut him off at the knees. If he’d been standing, he was horrified to think he may have fallen. “Don’t want them? Or me?”

“I think it’s obvious I want you. Wasn’t that what this little show was all about?”

Frustrated beyond reason, he hurled himself off the bed before he did something unforgivable. Pulling his shorts on, he shot her a furious glare which she matched. Defiance shown through her lovely blue eyes, but her lips trembled.

He stopped in the act of tying the strings to his boxers and looked at her. He saw behind the red haze of his vision and watched her worry her bottom lip. Her fingers were as bloodless as her cheeks as she twisted them in sheets.

She wasn’t unfeeling, he realized. She felt too much and was terrified. Her childhood was as loveless as they came. She’d known him for a few weeks and he expected her to reciprocate any feelings he had for her. He’d always known love and didn’t need to question the emotions racing through him. She did.

He left the strings untied and moved on to the bed, covered her with his body. She remained still but her eyes nearly shouted her apprehension. Knowing he would confuse her, he kissed her forehead, her nose, and then her mouth. Her lips heated beneath his, her hands stayed on the bed.