Dangerous in Training (Aegis Group, #2) (18 page)

Mason gave her nipples one last tweak, enticing a hiss from between her lips, and let go. He palmed her ass, lifting her just a bit higher.

She wanted to come?

He’d make her come.

Mason drew back and thrust as hard as he could. Her eyes fluttered open wide and her jaw dropped on a long, loud moan.

“Like that?” he asked.

“Yes!”

He let go of his control, one bit at a time, until he pounded into her with his full strength. Over and over he thrust, her panting chants driving him on to cries of
harder
and
yes
. Her breasts bounced against his chest, the hardened nipples drawing on his skin.

“Oh—oh—Mason!” She drew his name out over several seconds, her body rippling apart in his hands.

He didn’t stop moving, he kept thrusting, gritting his teeth as her orgasm stoked his.

Almost.

She arched her back and all her muscles clamped down around him.

“Fuck.” He thrust and rocked into her, lights flashing behind his lids as the orgasm rolled up through his body, robbing him of his senses.

His legs trembled. Fucking shook.

He’d never come so hard his knees turned to jelly.

Mason wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

Holy fuck, this he would remember forever.

He knew what the thing knocking around in his chest was. He knew why she was special. But he could never say it. They might be able to come back from sex and be okay, but he couldn’t acknowledge
that
. He couldn’t say it. If he did, there would be no hope. And right now, he really hoped he made it to the bed before he collapsed.

Hannah stared at the ceiling and listened to the beat of Mason’s heart. She still couldn’t think straight. Or at all, really. They’d somehow made it to the bed, and here they were.

“You want some water or something?” Mason’s voice rumbled against her ear.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Okay.” He squeezed her and she felt his lips brush the top of her head.

She’d finally seen the Mason she remembered again, the one she’d coaxed out of that grumbling bear of a man she’d first met. He could be funny and sweet, a bit stubborn, but she liked him. He was a good man. And in another set of circumstances he could be more than that for her. But not Mason. Not now. And that was an ache, a desire, she’d carry with her for a long time. She might not be well-versed in love or sex, but her gut told her this was a once-in-a- lifetime kind of thing. So she’d better enjoy it while she had it.

“I was thinking about taking a shower before bed.” Mason drew lazy circles on her arm.

“M’kay.” She liked being tucked up close to him. Being touched by him.

“That would require moving.”

“It would.”

“I see problems with this plan.”

She chuckled and peered up at him.

“So no shower?” she asked. Anything that took him out of bed didn’t rate very high on her plan.

“I can do that in the morning.” She could see his smile even in the darkness of the apartment. He pushed his fingers into her hair, combing it out over her shoulder. “I have to say, the idea of this trip was a good one.”

“I should have gone to Cancun or something.” She shifted to lie beside him. If he was going to talk, it was too weird hearing him in one ear and listening to his voice reverberate in his chest with the other.

“Cancun has invested a lot in their security.” Mason rolled to his side and splayed his hand over her stomach, the sheet between them.

“Really?”

“Yeah, there’s a wall and guards and everything. They’re very protective of the tourism business there. Way too much money has gone into making it profitable.”

“Okay, maybe not anywhere in Mexico for the next vacation. Where would you recommend?” She covered his hand with hers and gave in to the fantasy. Vacations together. More of this. Maybe that was what they should do. Coordinate random rendezvous across the world. The initial idea was exciting, but her heart ached. To only have moments in time? To have to hide a relationship? That was torture.

“I haven’t been anywhere that didn’t have a Naval base attached to it. At least, not many that didn’t.”

“What’s the best one?”

“I don’t know if it was the best one, but we had a great time at this beach in Thailand. It was just...beautiful. And sad. I kept thinking about the tsunami and people who lost their lives.”

She squeezed his hand. What did she say to that?

“But the people were nice. I think that was my last good memory of the SEALs.”

Hannah almost didn’t dare to breathe. He’d never spoken about why he left, just that it’d happened. It was the way he said it though, and the little comments her father made that filled in the holes. There was something there. Something had had happened. And she wanted to know.

“What happened after that?” She swallowed and focused on a single spot on the ceiling.

He didn’t respond for a moment. “You don’t know?”

“No.”

“It’s not a nice story.”

“I gathered that.”

“It’s not the kind of thing you want to know about.” He pulled his hand from hers and lay flat on his back, arms crossed behind his head.

“I don’t know what happened, but I know it was bad, that it forced you to make the decision to leave the SEALs, and you think because of it working for Aegis is your only option. Maybe it is? I don’t know. I have a hard time imagining that you did something so terrible the world hates you.”

“The world doesn’t hate me. Just other SEALs.”

“Why?”

He sighed the kind of sigh that said,
shut up, Hannah
, without words.

Mason wouldn’t tell her. She’d always known he’d keep his secrets to himself, that she would never really know why they couldn’t be together, but this was his resolve in action. It stung. She was not worth telling the whole story to. Or she couldn’t be trusted. Whatever his measuring stick was, she didn’t fit the bill.

“We were doing this thing.” He spoke as if in slow motion, as though each word were mired in mud and had to be pulled free before he could say it. “It was a highly secretive, classified mission and everything went bad the moment we...as soon as we got to the location. Our CO was the first to get killed. Two guys got separated from us and...they’re gone. We lost all our communications devices between those three men, and we had to cut and run. This was not a typical situation. We had no extraction. No support. We were on our own. And bad things happened.”

Hannah held her breath. For several long moments he didn’t speak—and she didn’t breathe.

“The next in command guy...I never liked him. Some people are born killers. If it wasn’t for the Navy making him into a weapon, I’m certain he’s the kind of guy who’d become a serial killer. I had a bad feeling about the way things were going as soon as everyone fell in line with his plan.”

“How could you have made a plan in that situation?”

“He wanted us to march to a village and make contact. Unfortunately the village we found had a couple Taliban guys there. This was before ISIS was a real threat.” Mason scrubbed a hand across his jaw.

She reached for his hand and squeezed. His palm was cold. She turned to face him and cradled his hand in hers.

“I didn’t know what was going on until I heard the shooting. I’d hung back to guard our six and act as a sentry. They killed everyone in that village, and then didn’t even try to make contact. By the time I got to them, they’d already hatched this fucked up plan. The CO and I got into it and I’m pretty sure he’d have killed me, too, but the guys weren’t having that. I almost wish he’d killed me, but then I wouldn’t have been there to see him sentenced.”

“What? What happened?”

“I decided instead of figuring out a way to stop them, instead of doing what was right, I’d actively try to get us out of there, protect my ass, and stay with them. Forty-nine people died before we were picked up. It could have been more than that. And I didn’t do a fucking thing.”

Hannah couldn’t begin to process what he was saying. It was...horrible.

“When we got back I didn’t hide the truth. I didn’t go along with the lies. The only evidence they had our unit went rogue was my word. Four guys were charged. The rest got off with warnings. I couldn’t be there anymore. I couldn’t serve with men who’d done that, and then went back to civilian life like it was nothing. After the trial I was out. Who knows what would have happened to me? Those guys were pissed. I wouldn’t have put it past one of them to kill me and call it an accident.”

He gripped her hand so hard she could barely feel her fingers.

“But—you didn’t do anything wrong?” Had he...?

“I didn’t kill anyone. But I’m just as guilty. I didn’t stop them either.”

“How many of them were there? You couldn’t have stopped them all.”

“No, but I could have—there were two guys. I could have changed their minds. With them on my side, we could have maybe, I don’t know. Things could have been different.”

“You can’t tell me all of it, can you?”

“I wouldn’t want you to know all of it.”

“Is this why you think you can’t leave Aegis?”

“The Navy won’t have me back. They want to bury that it ever happened. There were no bodies, no footage, and no questions.”

“But that doesn’t mean there aren’t other opportunities.” She sat up on her knees facing him, the sheet clenched under her arms, clinging to his hand. “You can do other things.”

“What? What can I do? I have no education outside of combat training. My record and involvement in the case was supposed to be sealed, and yet—people know. Your dad knows.”

“And he thinks you did something wrong?”

“He, and others, take issue with my disloyalty to my unit. If I turned on them after they saved my ass, I’ll turn on anyone.”

“That’s—crazy. What about your GI bill? You could go back to school.”

“And do what? I’m not old, but I was never good at school. Besides, I like working for Aegis. I like protecting people. I don’t want to do anything else.”

She understood—and she didn’t. Aegis wasn’t the only gig out there. Plenty of other companies had cropped up, offering men just like Mason something after their service. They might not pay as well, the jobs might be crappier—or better—but there were options. He just didn’t want to look at them. Or wouldn’t.

If her father knew, so would others?

And perhaps that was what she wasn’t seeing. That other companies might not take his word for what happened. That all they saw was a brother in arms who turned on the others. Yeah, she could see where that would severely limit Mason’s potential job pool.

“What about being a cop? Law enforcement?” She ran her fingers over his knuckles, every last bit of hope dying.

“I tried. That’s how I busted my knee.”

“Oh. That’s what the course was for? I never realized that.”

“Yeah. The trial was hard on my family. They got a lot of hate mail and some things were said. Zain was the only person that hadn’t cut me off there at the end of the proceedings. So I went to live with him for a bit, thought I could maybe cut it as a cop, but the knee happened and...here we are.”

“I want things to be different.”

“We don’t always get what we want.”

“I know, but it doesn’t change what I want.” Which was him.

She loved him.

As crazy and stupid as it sounded, she loved him. Even more because he’d made the tough choice. Maybe not always, but he was the kind of man who did the right thing. Which meant when this ended and they went home, this was over. There would be no more future because for him, that was the right thing to do. And for her to press it, to push for more, would be cruel.

Hannah lay down next to him and prayed the darkness hid her tears.

Mason rolled to face her, his big hand cupping her cheek.

They didn’t speak. There was nothing left to be said. It didn’t stop her heart from breaking.

M
ason finished drying the last dish and set it on the counter. He didn’t know how much sleep Hannah had gotten, but it couldn’t have been much. He’d lain awake, watching her for most of the night, and for a good while she’d been awake, too. Exhaustion had won out after a time, and they’d both crashed at least.

The bathroom door opened and she stepped out, her clothing looking a little better after some spot washing.

“Heard from Zain again?” She crossed to the counter and leaned her elbows on the surface.

“He sent me a text earlier, said he was looking into the cell phone data.” The rest of what the message said wasn’t for Hannah’s ears.

Things were bad.

“You’re making a face,” she said.

“I am?”

“It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“What face are you talking about?”

“Mason.”

He straightened and leaned against the sink, facing her.

“It’s not good,” he replied.

“So, what is it?”

“Zain poked around, asked some questions. The local cops are more likely to help Cruz than protect us.”

“How—how can we possibly help the girls?” She cradled her face in her hands.

“We have to be creative.” And ultra careful with where Hannah went and who saw her. After last night’s failed snatch and grab attempt, he was willing to bet there was a bounty on her head.

“I shouldn’t be here.” She straightened. “You could do this if it weren’t for me. What could you have done last night if you hadn’t had to come find me?”

Mason didn’t reply. Finding her, getting her somewhere safe, it took a lot of time because where she was concerned he wasn’t rational.

“I can’t leave, because if I leave technically there’s no reason for you to be here or for Zain to support you, correct?”

“Yeah.” Except he was in now. He’d seen these guy’s faces, he’d met the girls at the resort. He couldn’t turn his back on people who needed his help.

“What if—what if I use that fake ID and book a trip home? I go stay with a friend or something. That would free you up to rescue them. I don’t know what I was thinking, why I thought I’d be any help, I’m sorry.”

“The IDs won’t pass customs, but maybe...Zain could work with it.”