Dangerous Pride (16 page)

The abbess’ cheeks were flushed bright red, and she was clearly in distress.  Her hands shook as she poured a cup of tea for Catriona, and refilled the giant’s cup.  The man in the corner of the room declined refreshment with a curt grunt, and Catriona’s attention was soon drawn back to the situation at hand.

“Is aught wrong, Mother?” she asked quietly, concerned by the abbess’ obvious discomfort.

The older woman slowly shook her head, and then paused to make introductions.  “Miss Milne, may I present Colin Fraser.  He is a barrister here in Edinburgh.  Miss Milne oversees the orphanage school.  Quite capably, I might add,” she said, her tone cool and wary.

The giant tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment, but still did seem inclined to offer any explanation for his visit.

When Catriona’s eyes shifted expectantly to the abbess, the older woman quickly cleared her throat and plunged on.  “Gillian, lass, I hope this will no’ be too upsettin’ for ye, but Mr. Fraser brings word of a matter that will have some implications for ye.”  Catriona’s unconsciously raised her eyebrows as she considered the matter, but held her tongue.  She had learned through harsh experience that it was far better to get a sense of an opponent’s purpose before one launched into battle.

“As I was explainin’ to ye afore, Mr. Fraser, Gillian has been an important part of the abbey for several years.  Not only does she care for those who are sick an’ in need, but she has also built a school tae educate children who would otherwise have none.”  The abbess held up her hand abruptly, warning the man he had better not interrupt her.  “Gillian has become part of our family.  Who she was – an’ what she did – afore she came her is no’ our concern.  An’ mind me, young man, ‘tis probably none of yers.”

Catriona felt a cold, clammy veil descend upon her as the implications of the man’s visit sunk in.  She could only pray it was a misunderstanding, or that she could dissuade the man from his interest in her.

“Her past may no’ concern you, madam, but I can assure you it is of a great interest to others,” the blond giant replied, finally breaking his silence.

Catriona sat stiff as a board, unsure whether to flee the room, or stand her ground and determine how much the man knew. Forcing herself to take several calming breaths, she turned to face her inquisitor directly.

“I fail to see what my past has to do with anything, sir,” she replied icily.  “Mayhap it would serve us all if you would share the nature of yer interest.”

The abbess shot Catriona a warning glance, silently advising the young woman to hold her tongue.  Colin Fraser watched the exchange between the two, and then cleared his throat before speaking.  “As you wish, though I was no’ sure you would want to speak so freely.”

Catriona was briefly startled, then struggled to feign disinterest as the man continued, now directing his comments to the abbess.  “I’m no’ sure if you ken this, madam, but the lass hails from the northern parts, in Aberdeenshire.”  Catriona continued to calmly focus her gaze on the man, refusing to give evidence of her rising panic.  Silently she cursed herself for  underestimating the man.  “When she decided to join yer abbey, it was no’ with the blessing of her kin.  She took matters into her own hands, you could say,” he concluded, with a pointed look in Catriona’s direction.

“I fail tae see any relevance, Mr. Fraser,” the abbess returned abruptly, her expression fierce.  “When we welcomed Gillian tae our convent, we kent she came here more out of need for a home than a desire tae serve God.  But we felt then –
as we feel now, Mr. Fraser
– that those reasons were the lass’ own.  She is old enough and wise enough tae make her own decisions.  What may have passed with her family shall remain between them.  Do I make myself clear?”

“Aye, madam, and I respect yer wishes.  But I need to share a wee bit more information if yer to understand my reasons for being here.”  The abbess nodded her agreement before the man continued.  “Circumstances in Mistress Milne’s home have changed since she left.  Her kin has spent the last several years searching for her, as she gave no word of her plans when she left.  Now that they have found her, they have asked me to return her to them, where she will be safe, and where she can take her rightful place with her family.”

The abbess glared at the man, then shifted her gaze to the young woman, searching her tense features to gauge her reaction.  Catriona’s straight posture crumpled under the weight of the man’s speech, and she began to fidget with the folds of her skirt.  All she wanted to do was flee from the room, and forget the day had ever happened.

After four years at the priory, she had felt safe, sheltered even, from her former life.  To have the comfort of her world destroyed, and every secure, happy element of her life snatched from her grasp, was almost more than she could bear.

The fact that her family had found her, a woman they suspected of murder, terrified her to the core of her soul.  That she might be held responsible for a crime she had not committed was the devastating reality of her future.

Catriona forced herself to take control of her raging fear and focus on what Colin Fraser had said.  He had done little to indicate how much he really knew of her situation.  He could hardly snatch her from the safety of the church if it were only his word against hers.  If she could stall for time, it would give her a chance to leave the abbey and start a new life somewhere else, somewhere safe.  As much as it would devastate her to leave the children and her friends, she would not surrender her freedom and her life without a fight.

Catriona straightened her back, steeling herself for the inevitable confrontation.  Though she hated to lie to the abbess, she knew she would have to in order to keep her freedom.  “Though it’s an amusing tale that Mr. Fraser weaves, it bears no relation to reality.”  Deliberately, she shifted her gaze to the giant, whose eyebrows were now raised, his expression cold but curious.  “Perhaps you have yer facts wrong, sir, or perhaps you simply have the wrong lass.  I have no kin left looking for me, nor do I have a family waiting for me in Aberdeenshire, or elsewhere.  I am alone in this world, except for my family here in the abbey.  And while I appreciate the time you have taken to share yer story with us, I regret that you have wasted yer time.  I am simply not the lass yer looking for.”

Catriona offered a curt nod to the man, a silent apology heavenward for her lies, and a hesitant smile to the abbess.  She quickly drew to her feet, hoping no one would notice the way her body shook with fear.  “Thank you for yer time then, Mr. Fraser.  If you would be so kind as to excuse me, I have a lesson to prepare.”

Catriona had turned to make her way to the door when Colin’s chilling words reached her ears.  “It is no’ that simple, Mistress.  I have a writ from the High Court which awards me yer temporary guardianship, and gives me authority to take you back to yer family.”  Drawing himself to his full height, the giant towered over Catriona as he moved to block her exit from the room.  Grasping her arm none too gently, he half pulled her back to her seat, a dark scowl giving no doubt as to his state of mind.

Wrenching her arm from his grasp, Catriona drew back, anger flashing in her emerald eyes.  “I would counsel you not to be so familiar with me, sir, when I have not given you leave to do so.  I told you before: you have found the wrong lass.”

The abbess came slowly to her feet, preparing to intercede in the quarrel between the two, but Catriona motioned for her to take her seat.  She truly regretted that the kindly woman was being subjected to such an argument, but there was no avoiding it.  Turning her attention to the man at her arm, she fixed him with a fierce glare.  “I am sorry, but you will leave alone, Mr. Fraser.  You seem to think I am someone I am not.  I care no’ that you have some legal document that gives you authority over another lass, because it is no’ me.  It is simply yer word against mine.  And since you canna prove otherwise…”

“That’s where yer wrong, lass,” a deep male voice interrupted from across the room.  Unfolding his long legs, the man pushed himself to his feet, crossing the room in several quick strides.  Slowly his features were illuminated by the light from the window.  As Catriona stared into the familiar face, she knew with instant clarity that she no longer had anything to gain by bluffing.  The strength evaporated from her body, and she swayed slightly on her feet, ironically grateful for the steadying strength of Colin’s hand on her arm.

As Iain made his way to the abbess, he shot his sister a look that was a mixture of affection and consternation.  “You see, madam, this reckless lass is my sister.  And unless she would care to see all our family’s secrets exposed this afternoon, I think she will be only too happy to come with us.”

Catriona could only stare in stunned silence as she watched the foundation of her hard-earned life crumble around her.

Catriona shifted in the saddle yet again, struggling to find a comfortable perch atop the dappled grey.  After several days spent riding from one end of Scotland to the other, her strength and nerves had almost reached their limit.

When her initial shock at being reunited with her brother had faded, Catriona had been overcome with fear and foreboding.  All of Iain’s efforts to set her at ease had been for naught, and she had slept and eaten little, unable to shake her worry of what might greet her at Boyne.  Iain had been uncharacteristically vague about his plans, saying only that she would be welcomed with open arms, and that she needn’t fear a cold reception.  Time and perspective had helped heal the family’s wounds, he assured her, and soon she would be reunited with those who cared most for her.

Catriona was less optimistic about the reception she faced, and Iain’s reluctance to answer even her most innocent questions did little to dispel her fears, though it helped to fuel her temper.  She was hot, sticky with sweat, and smelled so strongly of horse that she felt unfit for polite company.  The two men had slowed their pace to accommodate the presence of a female on their journey, yet fatigue had made the travel almost unbearable.  When no lodgings could be found, they had spent the nights wrapped in their plaids, sleeping around a campfire.  The few inns they had found had been of questionable repute, and Catriona had slept little, unable to relax in the strange, loud and filthy surroundings.

For most of the journey, Catriona rode between the two men, though at times Iain and Colin rode side-by-side, speaking in hushed tones that were too low for her to hear.  She knew instinctively there was much they weren’t telling her, but having already agreed to Iain’s plan, she felt honor-bound to follow through with her part of the bargain. Her arguments to be included and consulted had fallen on deaf ears, doing little to improve her sullen mood.

On a particularly dreary morning, as Colin rode ahead, Catriona slowed her pace in order to ride alongside her brother.  “It feels like I have been in this saddle half my life,” she complained as she drew her horse alongside his.  It was unlike her to be in such a foul temper, but exhaustion, fear and uncertainly weighed heavily on her.  “How much longer until we reach Boyne?” she asked again, her tone pleading.

Catriona saw a flash of unease cross Iain’s features before he quickly masked his discomfort with a smile.  “We’ll reach our destination soon enough, lass,” he replied, avoiding her eyes.  “If we keep to a steady pace, we should arrive by nightfall.”

Despite the discomfort of the journey, it had gone much more quickly than Catriona had anticipated.  She had assumed it would take another day at least to reach Boyne.  “Is there something you aren’t telling me, Iain?” she asked quietly, her expression wary.  “You act as if there is some secret between us – like something weighs heavily on yer conscience.”

Catriona abruptly yanked her horse to a halt, forcing her brother to do the same.  “I won’t have it start this way, Iain.  I trusted you when you said you would do what was best for me, but now you will no’ speak honestly with me, and you spend yer hours huddled in secret conversations with Colin. ” A flicker of guilt told Catriona her instincts had been accurate.  “Tell me the truth, Iain.  What is it you are no’ sharing with me?”

Running his hand through his unruly blond hair, Iain stared into the distance for several long moments.  Catriona forced herself to sit in silence as he grappled with his thoughts.  Finally, his decision made, he turned to meet his sister’s direct gaze.  “I have no’ been totally honest with you,” he admitted reluctantly, his expression turning fierce when he saw her temper threatening to flare.  “Before you start with me, ken that it was for yer own good – as well as the good of the clan.”

Catriona’s expression was furious but she curbed her tongue, knowing she could ill afford to jeopardize the chance to learn the truth from her brother’s own lips. “It was no’ as if I did no’ have yer best interests at heart,” he added defensively, anxious to justify his actions.  Unable to meet her gaze any longer, he looked away, pretending interest in a grove of oak trees not far from the road.  “We will no’ be going to Boyne,” he said finally.  “Colin and I are taking you to Tolquhon Castle.”

Catriona could only stare in mute disbelief.  She had realized that all was not right between them, but she had never considered that Iain might lie to her so ruthlessly.

“Why, Iain?” she pleaded quietly, feeling her strength and determination flow from her, leaving her powerless and alone.  “How could you do this to me?

While she had reconciled herself to the idea of returning to Boyne, she had never for a moment considered that it was Iain’s intention to take her elsewhere.  The thought of being deserted in a keep that was foreign to her was almost more than she could bear.

Iain remained silent, unable to find the words to explain his betrayal.

Catriona’s laugh was harsh and cold.  “How could I have been so stupid as to trust you,
brother
?  Do you seek to humiliate me, to hurt me so you can watch me suffer?  What joy this must be giving you!”

Iain struggled to control his own temper, torn between his sense of guilt and his frustration at his sister’s willfulness.  “It is no’ yer place to question my reasons,” he said finally, his temper barely checked. “You made a mess of things when you left.  The rest of us were forced to undo the damage.  Now it’s yer turn to set things to rights.”